Give me hope please

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Separated from my cheating ex at 38 years old. Moved into my own place and I’m slowly setting it up. I casually browse dating apps to gingerly see what’s out there.

I am being very careful and cautious and only having video calls with men who message me. So far from the men I’ve talked to:

- one has 3 children and is separated from his wife
- one was a 45 year old lawyer who didn’t ask me a single question about me
- one was a 41 year old engineer who was nice but so socially awkward he was shaking and sweating
- lots of men who just want sex

I’ve not met anyone and this is only through video chats…but wow. Is there anyone decent left?

Why not just have sex? Do you really need to jump into another relationship?

This.

It will feel weird and awkward, but there are plenty of guys who have found their unique calling helping women in your shoes re-enter the dating world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Separated from my cheating ex at 38 years old. Moved into my own place and I’m slowly setting it up. I casually browse dating apps to gingerly see what’s out there.

I am being very careful and cautious and only having video calls with men who message me. So far from the men I’ve talked to:

- one has 3 children and is separated from his wife
- one was a 45 year old lawyer who didn’t ask me a single question about me
- one was a 41 year old engineer who was nice but so socially awkward he was shaking and sweating
- lots of men who just want sex

I’ve not met anyone and this is only through video chats…but wow. Is there anyone decent left?

Why not just have sex? Do you really need to jump into another relationship?

This.

It will feel weird and awkward, but there are plenty of guys who have found their unique calling helping women in your shoes re-enter the dating world.

I found it really NOT helpful to use “services” of these horny guys without any substance attached to the relationship.
My sexual pleasure stems from feeling deeply cared for

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Separated from my cheating ex at 38 years old. Moved into my own place and I’m slowly setting it up. I casually browse dating apps to gingerly see what’s out there.

I am being very careful and cautious and only having video calls with men who message me. So far from the men I’ve talked to:

- one has 3 children and is separated from his wife
- one was a 45 year old lawyer who didn’t ask me a single question about me
- one was a 41 year old engineer who was nice but so socially awkward he was shaking and sweating
- lots of men who just want sex

I’ve not met anyone and this is only through video chats…but wow. Is there anyone decent left?

Don’t settle. Keep on looking. There are plenty of decent men left. Patience…

[Anonymous]

Video chats? lol ain't no man got time for that bs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Separated from my cheating ex at 38 years old. Moved into my own place and I’m slowly setting it up. I casually browse dating apps to gingerly see what’s out there.

I am being very careful and cautious and only having video calls with men who message me. So far from the men I’ve talked to:

- one has 3 children and is separated from his wife
- one was a 45 year old lawyer who didn’t ask me a single question about me
- one was a 41 year old engineer who was nice but so socially awkward he was shaking and sweating
- lots of men who just want sex

I’ve not met anyone and this is only through video chats…but wow. Is there anyone decent left?

Why not just have sex? Do you really need to jump into another relationship?

This.

It will feel weird and awkward, but there are plenty of guys who have found their unique calling helping women in your shoes re-enter the dating world.

I found it really NOT helpful to use “services” of these horny guys without any substance attached to the relationship.
My sexual pleasure stems from feeling deeply cared for

Me too except men have straight up told me that I'm not worth deeply caring for at my age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Separated means married.

FFS don’t be that person.

Except that OP is separated herself. Which means married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Separated from my cheating ex at 38 years old. Moved into my own place and I’m slowly setting it up. I casually browse dating apps to gingerly see what’s out there.

I am being very careful and cautious and only having video calls with men who message me. So far from the men I’ve talked to:

- one has 3 children and is separated from his wife
- one was a 45 year old lawyer who didn’t ask me a single question about me
- one was a 41 year old engineer who was nice but so socially awkward he was shaking and sweating
- lots of men who just want sex

I’ve not met anyone and this is only through video chats…but wow. Is there anyone decent left?

Why not just have sex? Do you really need to jump into another relationship?

This.

It will feel weird and awkward, but there are plenty of guys who have found their unique calling helping women in your shoes re-enter the dating world.

I found it really NOT helpful to use “services” of these horny guys without any substance attached to the relationship.
My sexual pleasure stems from feeling deeply cared for

Me too except men have straight up told me that I'm not worth deeply caring for at my age.

I didn’t have men tell that but I could see by their attitude it wasn’t worth for me to try anything. A toy is better than some stranger dude inside my body who doesn’t give a f..k

[Anonymous]

Op here. I was bored so I downloaded Bumble last week. I received lots of matches but from low quality guys I’m not attracted to. Filtered through matches and chatted with two:

- 38 year old Indian guy. Has a decent job and is cute. But the more we talked he seemed a bit immature. He also said he likes coasting at his job and wants to do the bare minimum. This turned me off!

- 46 year old federal economist. Cute, good job, well traveled. But…mute? It was so hard to talk to him! He would give me short answers to questions I asked. It felt like an interview!

Ugh!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope. Nobody's decent, including you. Everyone's flawed, including you. You'll need to decide which flaws you can handle and which are dealbreakers.

This. Preach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I was bored so I downloaded Bumble last week. I received lots of matches but from low quality guys I’m not attracted to. Filtered through matches and chatted with two:

- 38 year old Indian guy. Has a decent job and is cute. But the more we talked he seemed a bit immature. He also said he likes coasting at his job and wants to do the bare minimum. This turned me off!

- 46 year old federal economist. Cute, good job, well traveled. But…mute? It was so hard to talk to him! He would give me short answers to questions I asked. It felt like an interview!

Ugh!

If you are going to say the race/nationality of one guy, why not say them all? Unless we are supposed to have particular feelings or make particular assumptions about the guy being Indian, which I do not. Also, throw your own race/nationality in there since you want us tracking this in relation to your dating choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I was bored so I downloaded Bumble last week. I received lots of matches but from low quality guys I’m not attracted to. Filtered through matches and chatted with two:

- 38 year old Indian guy. Has a decent job and is cute. But the more we talked he seemed a bit immature. He also said he likes coasting at his job and wants to do the bare minimum. This turned me off!

- 46 year old federal economist. Cute, good job, well traveled. But…mute? It was so hard to talk to him! He would give me short answers to questions I asked. It felt like an interview!

Ugh!

If you are going to say the race/nationality of one guy, why not say them all? Unless we are supposed to have particular feelings or make particular assumptions about the guy being Indian, which I do not. Also, throw your own race/nationality in there since you want us tracking this in relation to your dating choices.

OP here. The second guy was white. I’m Indian, not sure how it matters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Separated from my cheating ex at 38 years old. Moved into my own place and I’m slowly setting it up. I casually browse dating apps to gingerly see what’s out there.

I am being very careful and cautious and only having video calls with men who message me. So far from the men I’ve talked to:

- one has 3 children and is separated from his wife
- one was a 45 year old lawyer who didn’t ask me a single question about me
- one was a 41 year old engineer who was nice but so socially awkward he was shaking and sweating
- lots of men who just want sex

I’ve not met anyone and this is only through video chats…but wow. Is there anyone decent left?

Now consider how all those men are viewing you.
Divorced and you left the marriage (big red flag for most men, says you aren't commitment type)
What do you do for a job? Notice you mentioned two professions like they were good or big money. They will notice that about you and think you a gold digger high off that divorce money and wanting to find another next-ex-husband.
Why video chats? That's more pressure than meeting in person, as nobody looks good on a hand held camera phone, you are selling yourself short doing that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I was bored so I downloaded Bumble last week. I received lots of matches but from low quality guys I’m not attracted to. Filtered through matches and chatted with two:

- 38 year old Indian guy. Has a decent job and is cute. But the more we talked he seemed a bit immature. He also said he likes coasting at his job and wants to do the bare minimum. This turned me off!

- 46 year old federal economist. Cute, good job, well traveled. But…mute? It was so hard to talk to him! He would give me short answers to questions I asked. It felt like an interview!

Ugh!

If you are going to say the race/nationality of one guy, why not say them all? Unless we are supposed to have particular feelings or make particular assumptions about the guy being Indian, which I do not. Also, throw your own race/nationality in there since you want us tracking this in relation to your dating choices.

OP here. The second guy was white. I’m Indian, not sure how it matters.

It matter only b/c you mentioned it and now there’s context for us here giving you attention.

[Anonymous]

Op here. I’m feeling hopeless and dejected.

I’ve been swiping for the past week on and off on Bumble. I put myself on hide mode as I get overwhelmed by the number of likes I receive. If I turn my profile on for 30 mins I’ll receive 60 -70 likes. However all of them are ineligible! Too fat, trade school, high school degrees, too many tattoos, look like obvious man babies or deeply socially awkward.

Where are the clean cut professional and well educated late thirties and early thirties men?? Either they don’t exist since they’re all married or they don’t find me attractive.

I want to cry, 😭

I deleted Bumble last night.

Do I give up hope for romantic love and children?

[Anonymous]

Slight humble brag. Lol

Can you try another app or in person?