Reply to Is this cheating? I’d assume it’s not common

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You're hurt and angry OP because your sex life is miserable but your wife obviously still has an active libido. She just doesn't have an interest in you.  So you're trying to make this into "cheating" to justify how you're feeling.  This isn't cheating.  It's weird.  And obviously there are issues in your marriage.  It's fine to talk to her that this made you uncomfortable. It's fine to discuss your sex life.  But if you accuse her of cheating, nothing constructive will happen. [/quote]

NP.

In the relationship book, “Come as You Are,” the author reveals her discovery in her marriage counseling work (hers and that of many of her colleagues), that this is extremely common in modern western marriages.

She describes how common it is for the wife to have no interest whatsoever in intimacy with her husband after a few years of marriage, but yet: her libido remains intact and she will (in the author’s words) “buzz herself to sleep every night” (using a vibrator).

The book goes into the myriad reasons so many marriages end up this way (or a variation thereof, but basically she’s describing sexless marriages).

It’s a worthwhile read for all, even if you are not in a sexless marriage.  It’s less expensive than therapy.[/quote]

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