Bringing toddler to lunch with friends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The answers here are so weird. I always brought my kids to lunch/dinner/outings since they were about 4 days old (pre-COVID). None of my friends ever had a problem with it and are still close with my kids. If they did, they wouldn't be my friends for very long, because I only keep friends who accept me for who I am and what stage of life I'm at.

In most cultures, kids are just a part of life. They go to restaurants, parties, get-togethers, everywhere. My xH is Mexican and literally everything we ever did with his friends and family included their kids in some way, turning someone away because of kids would have been seen as crazy.

Sure. You never meet your friends anywhere without your kids. Every outing was a family outing. You must not actually have any friends your age.

Yes, when they were little, any outing I brought the kids along. Anyone who didn’t welcome my kids wasn’t my friend anymore. Which is fine, I don’t need 20 friends, I need good friends.

[Anonymous]

I’d be fine with it. Silly to get a sitter for one kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think people are overestimating how easy it is to find a sitter for a weekday lunch. If the mom stays home, I’d say she and child are a package deal until the child starts preschool and the mom can meet for coffee. Most SAHMs don’t want to pay a sitter to meet a friend for lunch. If mom works, obviously the child is in daycare or has another caregiver. If lunch is on the weekend, then mom goes solo while dad watches the child.

I don’t think this is necessarily true. When I was a SAHM when our kids were small and I had a rare opportunity to have lunch with one of my friends, I absolutely relished the adult time. I would trade off with other SAHM friends for doctors appointments or lunch outings so we had childcare without hiring babysitters. It wasn’t often that I had plans during the day during the week but for me, it was definitely meant to be adult time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people are overestimating how easy it is to find a sitter for a weekday lunch. If the mom stays home, I’d say she and child are a package deal until the child starts preschool and the mom can meet for coffee. Most SAHMs don’t want to pay a sitter to meet a friend for lunch. If mom works, obviously the child is in daycare or has another caregiver. If lunch is on the weekend, then mom goes solo while dad watches the child.

I don’t think this is necessarily true. When I was a SAHM when our kids were small and I had a rare opportunity to have lunch with one of my friends, I absolutely relished the adult time. I would trade off with other SAHM friends for doctors appointments or lunch outings so we had childcare without hiring babysitters. It wasn’t often that I had plans during the day during the week but for me, it was definitely meant to be adult time.

It’s expensive to get a sitter for just lunch. I have no issue with kids coming even if mine don’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think a baby at the table is more interesting and fun than typical chit chat.

Um, no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The answers here are so weird. I always brought my kids to lunch/dinner/outings since they were about 4 days old (pre-COVID). None of my friends ever had a problem with it and are still close with my kids. If they did, they wouldn't be my friends for very long, because I only keep friends who accept me for who I am and what stage of life I'm at.

In most cultures, kids are just a part of life. They go to restaurants, parties, get-togethers, everywhere. My xH is Mexican and literally everything we ever did with his friends and family included their kids in some way, turning someone away because of kids would have been seen as crazy.

Sure. You never meet your friends anywhere without your kids. Every outing was a family outing. You must not actually have any friends your age.

Yes, when they were little, any outing I brought the kids along. Anyone who didn’t welcome my kids wasn’t my friend anymore. Which is fine, I don’t need 20 friends, I need good friends.

There is a time for mommy and me playgroups and there is a time for adult lunch. Most people like a balance. But as you can see in here, your kids aren’t as welcome as you presume. You probably have opinions about child free weddings as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people are overestimating how easy it is to find a sitter for a weekday lunch. If the mom stays home, I’d say she and child are a package deal until the child starts preschool and the mom can meet for coffee. Most SAHMs don’t want to pay a sitter to meet a friend for lunch. If mom works, obviously the child is in daycare or has another caregiver. If lunch is on the weekend, then mom goes solo while dad watches the child.

I don’t think this is necessarily true. When I was a SAHM when our kids were small and I had a rare opportunity to have lunch with one of my friends, I absolutely relished the adult time. I would trade off with other SAHM friends for doctors appointments or lunch outings so we had childcare without hiring babysitters. It wasn’t often that I had plans during the day during the week but for me, it was definitely meant to be adult time.

It’s expensive to get a sitter for just lunch. I have no issue with kids coming even if mine don’t.

Then don’t go to lunch. Find another time so it’s not just your friend watching you feed your kid and wipe their nose, unable to get a word in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think a baby at the table is more interesting and fun than typical chit chat.

Um, no.

You can still gossip with the kid there.

[Anonymous]

Yes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people are overestimating how easy it is to find a sitter for a weekday lunch. If the mom stays home, I’d say she and child are a package deal until the child starts preschool and the mom can meet for coffee. Most SAHMs don’t want to pay a sitter to meet a friend for lunch. If mom works, obviously the child is in daycare or has another caregiver. If lunch is on the weekend, then mom goes solo while dad watches the child.

I don’t think this is necessarily true. When I was a SAHM when our kids were small and I had a rare opportunity to have lunch with one of my friends, I absolutely relished the adult time. I would trade off with other SAHM friends for doctors appointments or lunch outings so we had childcare without hiring babysitters. It wasn’t often that I had plans during the day during the week but for me, it was definitely meant to be adult time.

It’s expensive to get a sitter for just lunch. I have no issue with kids coming even if mine don’t.

Then don’t go to lunch. Find another time so it’s not just your friend watching you feed your kid and wipe their nose, unable to get a word in.

Sounds like you’re not great at parenting if you spend an entire lunch feeding and wiping. I’ve always been able both hold a conversation and monitor my kids. I guess some people’s brains aren’t good at multitasking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people are overestimating how easy it is to find a sitter for a weekday lunch. If the mom stays home, I’d say she and child are a package deal until the child starts preschool and the mom can meet for coffee. Most SAHMs don’t want to pay a sitter to meet a friend for lunch. If mom works, obviously the child is in daycare or has another caregiver. If lunch is on the weekend, then mom goes solo while dad watches the child.

I don’t think this is necessarily true. When I was a SAHM when our kids were small and I had a rare opportunity to have lunch with one of my friends, I absolutely relished the adult time. I would trade off with other SAHM friends for doctors appointments or lunch outings so we had childcare without hiring babysitters. It wasn’t often that I had plans during the day during the week but for me, it was definitely meant to be adult time.

It’s expensive to get a sitter for just lunch. I have no issue with kids coming even if mine don’t.

Then don’t go to lunch. Find another time so it’s not just your friend watching you feed your kid and wipe their nose, unable to get a word in.

Sounds like you’re not great at parenting if you spend an entire lunch feeding and wiping. I’ve always been able both hold a conversation and monitor my kids. I guess some people’s brains aren’t good at multitasking.

We don’t want to watch you do it, dear. That’s the point. I made arrangements for my kids, i don’t care to watch you multitask with yours.

[Anonymous]

Please don't bring her. Even if they say they don't mind, they honestly don't want her there.

[Anonymous]

They will stop asking/coming if it's truly annoying

[Anonymous]

If your friend is coming solo, I actually don’t think it’s appropriate to bring kids of any age unless you specifically ask your friend if it’s okay because you can’t make other arrangements. Sure you can catch up with each other and your kid can be doing other things, but kids are always listening and learning from you. So, no, if I was your friend, I would not be comfortable “gossiping” or complaining about my job or something stupid my DH did or other things we would otherwise talk about that is not appropriate for children to overhear. I would need to be on my best behavior to model that for your child. It’s not just - oh your child may be annoying and you may not be able to focus on your friend. Your friend is taking time out of their busy day to meet with you and they can’t even talk about things they want to share with you. It’s fine if you provide advanced notice that your child will be there but last minute changing plans all the time (and bringing your child) is a no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is 12 months old and in the last couple months I’m finally feeling like I have a handle on getting out of the house and doing things with her. I have been getting lunch with friends (most of whom don’t have kids yet) and typically bring her along. We obviously don’t go to any fancy spots. Is this annoying?

But the time to do things “with” a 12 month old is not lunch with other adults who did not bring babies. Doing things with her is like going to the park, library story time, music classes, etc.