Bringing toddler to lunch with friends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think people are overestimating how easy it is to find a sitter for a weekday lunch. If the mom stays home, I’d say she and child are a package deal until the child starts preschool and the mom can meet for coffee. Most SAHMs don’t want to pay a sitter to meet a friend for lunch. If mom works, obviously the child is in daycare or has another caregiver. If lunch is on the weekend, then mom goes solo while dad watches the child.

Ok. Most people don't want to go to an adult lunch with one toddler in attendance. That's your call as a SAHM to not find a way to socialize with people without your kid.

[Anonymous]

The answers here are so weird. I always brought my kids to lunch/dinner/outings since they were about 4 days old (pre-COVID). None of my friends ever had a problem with it and are still close with my kids. If they did, they wouldn't be my friends for very long, because I only keep friends who accept me for who I am and what stage of life I'm at.

In most cultures, kids are just a part of life. They go to restaurants, parties, get-togethers, everywhere. My xH is Mexican and literally everything we ever did with his friends and family included their kids in some way, turning someone away because of kids would have been seen as crazy.

[Anonymous]

Here, it's annoying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The answers here are so weird. I always brought my kids to lunch/dinner/outings since they were about 4 days old (pre-COVID). None of my friends ever had a problem with it and are still close with my kids. If they did, they wouldn't be my friends for very long, because I only keep friends who accept me for who I am and what stage of life I'm at.

In most cultures, kids are just a part of life. They go to restaurants, parties, get-togethers, everywhere. My xH is Mexican and literally everything we ever did with his friends and family included their kids in some way, turning someone away because of kids would have been seen as crazy.

Sure. You never meet your friends anywhere without your kids. Every outing was a family outing. You must not actually have any friends your age.

[Anonymous]

I would find this extremely annoying and would stop planning outings with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people are overestimating how easy it is to find a sitter for a weekday lunch. If the mom stays home, I’d say she and child are a package deal until the child starts preschool and the mom can meet for coffee. Most SAHMs don’t want to pay a sitter to meet a friend for lunch. If mom works, obviously the child is in daycare or has another caregiver. If lunch is on the weekend, then mom goes solo while dad watches the child.

Ok. Most people don't want to go to an adult lunch with one toddler in attendance. That's your call as a SAHM to not find a way to socialize with people without your kid.

It's dependent on the situation.

There are times where it is extremely rude to bring kids along, especially younger kids under 10. Some people posting here are selfish and abusing their friendships.

There are other times where it is rude to not allow kids, and wanting to exclude a friend's kids is extremely rude.

Really depends. It's not 100% either way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The answers here are so weird. I always brought my kids to lunch/dinner/outings since they were about 4 days old (pre-COVID). None of my friends ever had a problem with it and are still close with my kids. If they did, they wouldn't be my friends for very long, because I only keep friends who accept me for who I am and what stage of life I'm at.

In most cultures, kids are just a part of life. They go to restaurants, parties, get-togethers, everywhere. My xH is Mexican and literally everything we ever did with his friends and family included their kids in some way, turning someone away because of kids would have been seen as crazy.

Sure. You never meet your friends anywhere without your kids. Every outing was a family outing. You must not actually have any friends your age.

Then don't plan on keeping friends much. That's rude behavior on your part and inconsiderate, same as if they told you to never bring your kids along.

[Anonymous]

NP here. Be clear with language if you do talk about it. I brought my 1 month old when I wasn't suppose to. Friend invited me over for dinner and said she gave me a two week's notice so I could "make arrangements" for Larla. Larla was 1 month old.

To me that meant ~ decide on what gear I was bringing with me for the baby. Oops.

[Anonymous]

Ask them, OP, but expect an honest answer. If asked, I always told my friends I was not interested in them bringing their kids of any age. I told them we could reschedule for another time. We are all still friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Asking accomplishes nothing. Would anyone ever say it was annoying even if it was the worst thing ever? (I am from the South lol).

I absolutely would suggest we reschedule to a time you have someone to watch the kid. I 100% do not want to go to lunch with you when you're toddler is going to interrupt every 2 seconds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The answers here are so weird. I always brought my kids to lunch/dinner/outings since they were about 4 days old (pre-COVID). None of my friends ever had a problem with it and are still close with my kids. If they did, they wouldn't be my friends for very long, because I only keep friends who accept me for who I am and what stage of life I'm at.

In most cultures, kids are just a part of life. They go to restaurants, parties, get-togethers, everywhere. My xH is Mexican and literally everything we ever did with his friends and family included their kids in some way, turning someone away because of kids would have been seen as crazy.

Were those play dates?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think people are overestimating how easy it is to find a sitter for a weekday lunch. If the mom stays home, I’d say she and child are a package deal until the child starts preschool and the mom can meet for coffee. Most SAHMs don’t want to pay a sitter to meet a friend for lunch. If mom works, obviously the child is in daycare or has another caregiver. If lunch is on the weekend, then mom goes solo while dad watches the child.

That's your choice then. My choice is to spend time with you when you actually GAF about spending time with me. So, kind of goes both ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ask them, OP, but expect an honest answer. If asked, I always told my friends I was not interested in them bringing their kids of any age. I told them we could reschedule for another time. We are all still friends.

If someone asked to bring their kid/told me they didn't have a sitter I'd just suggest rescheduling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The answers here are so weird. I always brought my kids to lunch/dinner/outings since they were about 4 days old (pre-COVID). None of my friends ever had a problem with it and are still close with my kids. If they did, they wouldn't be my friends for very long, because I only keep friends who accept me for who I am and what stage of life I'm at.

In most cultures, kids are just a part of life. They go to restaurants, parties, get-togethers, everywhere. My xH is Mexican and literally everything we ever did with his friends and family included their kids in some way, turning someone away because of kids would have been seen as crazy.

Sure. You never meet your friends anywhere without your kids. Every outing was a family outing. You must not actually have any friends your age.

Then don't plan on keeping friends much. That's rude behavior on your part and inconsiderate, same as if they told you to never bring your kids along.

What’s to plan on? Sometimes it’s a family thing and sometimes it’s not. And yes, even people from Mexico know this. Sometimes lunch with a friend is just that. Interesting that your family first husband is now an ex, how did that work out for you? Kids are part of life but wives aren’t?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So annoying! You’re constantly distracted taking knives away, blocking your baby from hitting their head, having them climb on you, and toddlers constantly interrupt. Get a babysitter. Don’t bother asking your friends- nobody will say “actually I’d rather you don’t bring her”.

Facts!