Bringing toddler to lunch with friends

[Anonymous]

Yes. Very.

[Anonymous]

If your friends stop accepting lunch invitations (or stop inviting you) then you will know it is because of your toddler. I don’t think they will admit this if you ask them so I would just assume yes the toddler is annoying and of course your friends would rather you come solo.

[Anonymous]

I think people are overestimating how easy it is to find a sitter for a weekday lunch. If the mom stays home, I’d say she and child are a package deal until the child starts preschool and the mom can meet for coffee. Most SAHMs don’t want to pay a sitter to meet a friend for lunch. If mom works, obviously the child is in daycare or has another caregiver. If lunch is on the weekend, then mom goes solo while dad watches the child.

[Anonymous]

It's just not that complicated. If you don't have/want to hire a sitter, you do things that work with kids while your kids are little. Go on a walk outside or at Tysons and grab some coffee/food outside/in the food court.

Millennial parents--this message is for you. Restaurants are out for a while. You will be back. You don't need to annoy all of your friends and go on a parents' rights campaign. Adjust and come back when your kids can handle restaurants. There will be many phases to your parenting journey and family's life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think people are overestimating how easy it is to find a sitter for a weekday lunch. If the mom stays home, I’d say she and child are a package deal until the child starts preschool and the mom can meet for coffee. Most SAHMs don’t want to pay a sitter to meet a friend for lunch. If mom works, obviously the child is in daycare or has another caregiver. If lunch is on the weekend, then mom goes solo while dad watches the child.

One would think so, but I stopped doing weekend lunches and brunches with a friend because she brought her toddler every single time even though her DH wasn't working. She'd spend at least 75% of our time together engaging with her toddler and not me, so I quit. I also had little kids at the time but because I'm not married to a useless lump I was able to go out while he parented solo.

[Anonymous]

Yes it's annoying. I would only do with with other moms or people who you know care about your DC.

[Anonymous]

So annoying! You’re constantly distracted taking knives away, blocking your baby from hitting their head, having them climb on you, and toddlers constantly interrupt. Get a babysitter. Don’t bother asking your friends- nobody will say “actually I’d rather you don’t bring her”.

[Anonymous]

Wow at all these responses. I would love for any of my mom friends to bring their kids, especially to casual lunches. Different story for a birthday dinner or some special celebratory dinner at a fancy restaurant, but it’s really special to be able to watch my friends’ kids grow up. We don’t have a lot of time to spend with them, and I appreciate all the time I can get. If I want to catch up separately sans kids, I can arrange a post bedtime drinks get together.

Guess all I’m saying is, OP, don’t assume your friends are annoyed. Not all of us would be.

[Anonymous]

I think a baby at the table is more interesting and fun than typical chit chat.

[Anonymous]

Who is arranging the lunch?

If it's you: "would you like to have lunch with toddler and me"? They have option to decline.

If it's a friend: "so sorry. I don't have a sitter." Then they have the option too include toddler if they choose to do so.

When I was a sahm, I did play groups in my home, or McDonald's with other moms. Evening restaurants with childless women friends while husband was home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people are overestimating how easy it is to find a sitter for a weekday lunch. If the mom stays home, I’d say she and child are a package deal until the child starts preschool and the mom can meet for coffee. Most SAHMs don’t want to pay a sitter to meet a friend for lunch. If mom works, obviously the child is in daycare or has another caregiver. If lunch is on the weekend, then mom goes solo while dad watches the child.

One would think so, but I stopped doing weekend lunches and brunches with a friend because she brought her toddler every single time even though her DH wasn't working. She'd spend at least 75% of our time together engaging with her toddler and not me, so I quit. I also had little kids at the time but because I'm not married to a useless lump I was able to go out while he parented solo.

Same for me. It was weekend time and friend specifically brought her toddler when she didn’t have to. It became not worth the time anymore since I got so little out of it watching her engage her toddler and ignore me. She can do that on her own time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think a baby at the table is more interesting and fun than typical chit chat.

For about 5 minutes. But nobody is as interested in the baby as their parents. Friends don’t want to coo at a baby for 45 minutes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Annoying. I disliked it when I was single and I try not to do it now with kids.

Same. And now with kids when I get time away to catch up with friends I'm not into the production that is dining with a toddler. I'd be fine with it once and awhile but if it was a regular thing I'd take a step back.

[Anonymous]

It’s annoying, yes. I find women who can’t leave their kids frustrating. I’d stop getting together because I’d assume that the next 18 or so years will you bringing your kids along and focusing on them.

The mothers I know who can’t grab lunch without their child all have attachment issues and seem insecure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people are overestimating how easy it is to find a sitter for a weekday lunch. If the mom stays home, I’d say she and child are a package deal until the child starts preschool and the mom can meet for coffee. Most SAHMs don’t want to pay a sitter to meet a friend for lunch. If mom works, obviously the child is in daycare or has another caregiver. If lunch is on the weekend, then mom goes solo while dad watches the child.

One would think so, but I stopped doing weekend lunches and brunches with a friend because she brought her toddler every single time even though her DH wasn't working. She'd spend at least 75% of our time together engaging with her toddler and not me, so I quit. I also had little kids at the time but because I'm not married to a useless lump I was able to go out while he parented solo.

I’ve also experienced this and you sadly have to ditch these friends. They completely define themselves by motherhood and are obsessed. I assume it’s hormonal.