Bringing toddler to lunch with friends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people are overestimating how easy it is to find a sitter for a weekday lunch. If the mom stays home, I’d say she and child are a package deal until the child starts preschool and the mom can meet for coffee. Most SAHMs don’t want to pay a sitter to meet a friend for lunch. If mom works, obviously the child is in daycare or has another caregiver. If lunch is on the weekend, then mom goes solo while dad watches the child.

Ok. Most people don't want to go to an adult lunch with one toddler in attendance. That's your call as a SAHM to not find a way to socialize with people without your kid.

It's dependent on the situation.

There are times where it is extremely rude to bring kids along, especially younger kids under 10. Some people posting here are selfish and abusing their friendships.

There are other times where it is rude to not allow kids, and wanting to exclude a friend's kids is extremely rude.

Really depends. It's not 100% either way.

Please tell me these times.

+1 Please share ..

Pretty sure the answer for this PP will be: weddings.

😆

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people are overestimating how easy it is to find a sitter for a weekday lunch. If the mom stays home, I’d say she and child are a package deal until the child starts preschool and the mom can meet for coffee. Most SAHMs don’t want to pay a sitter to meet a friend for lunch. If mom works, obviously the child is in daycare or has another caregiver. If lunch is on the weekend, then mom goes solo while dad watches the child.

That's your choice then. My choice is to spend time with you when you actually GAF about spending time with me. So, kind of goes both ways.

Meh. Would you demand a friend use annual leave to meet you for lunch? A SAHM’s job is to care for her child during the work day. If you are rigid enough to demand a SAHM’s undivided attention during a midweek lunch and are unavailable on evenings or weekends (when the father could watch the child), then yeah, the friendship is over.

Oh, so you don't eat lunch during the workday? That's funny. I do. And sometimes I do it with friends.

Of course I do, but I do it while watching my children.

Be honest, how often are your working, child free “friends” inviting you out to lunch? You seem to have nothing in common with people who aren’t exactly like you so it’s odd that you keep piping up about something that would never be an issue for you.

[Anonymous]

For all of my friends with very young children, my assumption when inviting them to lunch is that the very young child will also come. So I would expect OP to bring her child if I invited her, even without saying "oh and bring your baby".

Apparently other people do not think this, which is fine. Maybe this is a difference in upbringing (e.g., big family with kids always around) or something else.

[Anonymous]

It depends on the kid, the mom, and the friends. I've been to lunches where babies/children were a delightful addition. I once held a friend's sweet sleeping baby for the duration and it was bliss (and she actually got to eat and talk). I've also been to lunches where it was impossible to talk because the mom overtook every attempt at conversation by loudly trying to involve her non speaking infant in the exchange ("OH LARLA HELEN HAS A NEW JOB ISN'T THAT GREAT?! BUT YOU WON'T LET MOPMMY GET A JOB WILL YOU BECAUSE YOU CRY IF SHE WALKS AWAY FOR FIVE MINUTES HAHAHA")

I personally never took my children because they were crying holy terrors until about age 6. It can be a lonely time, which is why women start to make mom friends and go for walks or park playdates together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ladies, I’m not saying that men NEVER meet up with their male friends for lunch outside of work. Of course it happens. But not as much as women. It’s just not a thing. There ARE some differences between male and female social interactions you know. Stop getting all worked up over something so obvious.

Huh? Have you been in public lately? Time to get out of your mommys basement. Plenty of men have lunch with their male friends outside of work. Do you actually believe his doesn't happen?

Not really. It’s like how they don’t go on walks together. It’s out of fear they will be assumed to be gay.

Also considering many men can’t plan or manage a schedule, they are going to struggle to get friends together at a specific time and place.

This made me spit my water out. My husband definitely goes for walks with his guy friends (we all have dogs and it's an easy activity to do that doesn't require a shower afterwards and can therefore be done before or during work as a quick break) and I can guarantee you they're not all gay. What a weird way to live that this would be your assumption about men who walk together.

I’d question your husband’s sexuality. I live in a liberal suburb and have not once seen two straight men going on a walk together. There is even a recent meme that golf was invented so men can go on walks together.

Ok, you can question it all you want. You'll also need to question the multiple other guys he's friends with who will go on walks, all of whom are married (15+ years) to women. I'd say they're happily married but then you'd tell me I have no idea what goes on in anyone's marriage so I'll just let you clear your schedule so you can come question all these guys. I guess you can do it while they walk. Or, gasp, have lunch together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Generally speaking, women with toddlers tend to go out to lunch with other women more often than men with toddlers tend to go out to lunch with men. Especially during the work day, because men don't stay home with kids as much as women do and during the work day people don't have their toddlers with them.

This is not rocket science. It's just the way it is. It would be sexist to say that this is the way it should be. It's not sexist to acknowledge the fact that it's the way it currently IS. And it's weird for women to get so worked up about it.

Weirder than saying all men who walk or dine together are gay?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people are overestimating how easy it is to find a sitter for a weekday lunch. If the mom stays home, I’d say she and child are a package deal until the child starts preschool and the mom can meet for coffee. Most SAHMs don’t want to pay a sitter to meet a friend for lunch. If mom works, obviously the child is in daycare or has another caregiver. If lunch is on the weekend, then mom goes solo while dad watches the child.

That's your choice then. My choice is to spend time with you when you actually GAF about spending time with me. So, kind of goes both ways.

Meh. Would you demand a friend use annual leave to meet you for lunch? A SAHM’s job is to care for her child during the work day. If you are rigid enough to demand a SAHM’s undivided attention during a midweek lunch and are unavailable on evenings or weekends (when the father could watch the child), then yeah, the friendship is over.

Oh, so you don't eat lunch during the workday? That's funny. I do. And sometimes I do it with friends.

Of course I do, but I do it while watching my children.

Sigh. Then the question wasn't for you. The PP discussed "demanding" a friend use annual leave to meet her for lunch. Those of us who work also, shockingly, eat lunch. So I don't take leave in order to dine with friends. It's not rocket science.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For all of my friends with very young children, my assumption when inviting them to lunch is that the very young child will also come. So I would expect OP to bring her child if I invited her, even without saying "oh and bring your baby".

Apparently other people do not think this, which is fine. Maybe this is a difference in upbringing (e.g., big family with kids always around) or something else.

A 12-month old is not a very young child. It's outside the maternity leave age, which is when it would make sense to assume the mom would bring the baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people are overestimating how easy it is to find a sitter for a weekday lunch. If the mom stays home, I’d say she and child are a package deal until the child starts preschool and the mom can meet for coffee. Most SAHMs don’t want to pay a sitter to meet a friend for lunch. If mom works, obviously the child is in daycare or has another caregiver. If lunch is on the weekend, then mom goes solo while dad watches the child.

That's your choice then. My choice is to spend time with you when you actually GAF about spending time with me. So, kind of goes both ways.

Meh. Would you demand a friend use annual leave to meet you for lunch? A SAHM’s job is to care for her child during the work day. If you are rigid enough to demand a SAHM’s undivided attention during a midweek lunch and are unavailable on evenings or weekends (when the father could watch the child), then yeah, the friendship is over.

Oh, so you don't eat lunch during the workday? That's funny. I do. And sometimes I do it with friends.

Of course I do, but I do it while watching my children.

Sigh. Then the question wasn't for you. The PP discussed "demanding" a friend use annual leave to meet her for lunch. Those of us who work also, shockingly, eat lunch. So I don't take leave in order to dine with friends. It's not rocket science.

Sure, but how long is your lunch break? Mine is 30 minutes, which isn’t really long enough to walk to even a fast-casual place downtown, order, eat, and return to work. If the friend wanted longer than that, or to meet at a sit-down restaurant, I’d have to take annual leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For all of my friends with very young children, my assumption when inviting them to lunch is that the very young child will also come. So I would expect OP to bring her child if I invited her, even without saying "oh and bring your baby".

Apparently other people do not think this, which is fine. Maybe this is a difference in upbringing (e.g., big family with kids always around) or something else.

A 12-month old is not a very young child. It's outside the maternity leave age, which is when it would make sense to assume the mom would bring the baby.

Disagree. A 12 month old is a very young child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For all of my friends with very young children, my assumption when inviting them to lunch is that the very young child will also come. So I would expect OP to bring her child if I invited her, even without saying "oh and bring your baby".

Apparently other people do not think this, which is fine. Maybe this is a difference in upbringing (e.g., big family with kids always around) or something else.

A 12-month old is not a very young child. It's outside the maternity leave age, which is when it would make sense to assume the mom would bring the baby.

Disagree. A 12 month old is a very young child.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For all of my friends with very young children, my assumption when inviting them to lunch is that the very young child will also come. So I would expect OP to bring her child if I invited her, even without saying "oh and bring your baby".

Apparently other people do not think this, which is fine. Maybe this is a difference in upbringing (e.g., big family with kids always around) or something else.

Baby and toddler are completely different things. Sure if your kid is contained in a baby seat bring them along. Once they can move and interrupt every 2 seconds, leave them home. Or don’t come.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For all of my friends with very young children, my assumption when inviting them to lunch is that the very young child will also come. So I would expect OP to bring her child if I invited her, even without saying "oh and bring your baby".

Apparently other people do not think this, which is fine. Maybe this is a difference in upbringing (e.g., big family with kids always around) or something else.

Baby and toddler are completely different things. Sure if your kid is contained in a baby seat bring them along. Once they can move and interrupt every 2 seconds, leave them home. Or don’t come.

do you express your specific lunch requirements to your friends, when they violate them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ladies, I’m not saying that men NEVER meet up with their male friends for lunch outside of work. Of course it happens. But not as much as women. It’s just not a thing. There ARE some differences between male and female social interactions you know. Stop getting all worked up over something so obvious.

Huh? Have you been in public lately? Time to get out of your mommys basement. Plenty of men have lunch with their male friends outside of work. Do you actually believe his doesn't happen?

Not really. It’s like how they don’t go on walks together. It’s out of fear they will be assumed to be gay.

Also considering many men can’t plan or manage a schedule, they are going to struggle to get friends together at a specific time and place.

This made me spit my water out. My husband definitely goes for walks with his guy friends (we all have dogs and it's an easy activity to do that doesn't require a shower afterwards and can therefore be done before or during work as a quick break) and I can guarantee you they're not all gay. What a weird way to live that this would be your assumption about men who walk together.

I’d question your husband’s sexuality. I live in a liberal suburb and have not once seen two straight men going on a walk together. There is even a recent meme that golf was invented so men can go on walks together.

Imagine being such a f##king loser that you can’t imagine two non gay dudes hanging out together 😂 stop watching porn, people are able to be friends without falling into each others genitals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For all of my friends with very young children, my assumption when inviting them to lunch is that the very young child will also come. So I would expect OP to bring her child if I invited her, even without saying "oh and bring your baby".

Apparently other people do not think this, which is fine. Maybe this is a difference in upbringing (e.g., big family with kids always around) or something else.

Baby and toddler are completely different things. Sure if your kid is contained in a baby seat bring them along. Once they can move and interrupt every 2 seconds, leave them home. Or don’t come.

do you express your specific lunch requirements to your friends, when they violate them?

Why would you bother after the fact? If you can’t respect a simple invitation you don’t seem to care very much for your friends time or friendship.