Getting married out of college?

[Anonymous]

There’s no evidence that getting married young leads to a higher divorce rate. And actually practicing Christians who get married Young have a much lower divorce rate. I think getting married at 22 and starting to grow up, compared to drinking and partying your way through your 20s, might actually be a healthier thing to do. And who says you need money to get married? You can still go to law school, take out loans, live in a tiny apartment, etc..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this happening at an accelerated rate these days? I've been to two weddings of 2025 college grads this summer and all the kids are 21/22. They're headed off to medical school and law school and are the kids of professional parents who married in their early 30s.
My teens say early marriage is all over instagram as well.

Sample size bias or is this a trend?

If so, it’s a trend in the right direction.

Why, so they can get divorced? The minister at my wedding said he never likes to marry anyone over the age of 30 so they have a better idea of what they might be getting into.

Think you meant "under 30".

Married at 22/23, going on year 35. Happily married. Plenty of people are mature enough to know what they want at 22.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The vast majority of women who marry right out of college will become financially dependent on their spouse. It’s a fact. The data unambiguously show this. I know no college educated woman who married in her early 20s (and is still married to the same guy) who is making over $1MM a year. Women give up a LOT getting married young; they just don’t know it. They give up almost all career upside. If they wait until late 20s/early 30s, it’s a very different story. They end up following the guy around for 8-10 years while he is hitting the s-curve in his career. It’s painful to watch. Get financially independent, then get married. You people are naive.

Thats not what I've seen. My college educated friends who married shortly after college are doing just fine and are actually doing great in their careers. The key is not giving up on your career. My friend married her husband when they were in med school. They are millionaires with their private practice. They have 5 kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this happening at an accelerated rate these days? I've been to two weddings of 2025 college grads this summer and all the kids are 21/22. They're headed off to medical school and law school and are the kids of professional parents who married in their early 30s.
My teens say early marriage is all over instagram as well.

Sample size bias or is this a trend?

They may want children before infertility kicks in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this happening at an accelerated rate these days? I've been to two weddings of 2025 college grads this summer and all the kids are 21/22. They're headed off to medical school and law school and are the kids of professional parents who married in their early 30s.
My teens say early marriage is all over instagram as well.

Sample size bias or is this a trend?

They may want children before infertility kicks in.

And if both are going to medical and law school, it might actually be better to lock into their relationship now knowing that it's a long road ahead, especially medical school. If they know that they are in a loving and stable relationship, why not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There’s no evidence that getting married young leads to a higher divorce rate. And actually practicing Christians who get married Young have a much lower divorce rate. I think getting married at 22 and starting to grow up, compared to drinking and partying your way through your 20s, might actually be a healthier thing to do. And who says you need money to get married? You can still go to law school, take out loans, live in a tiny apartment, etc..

No they don't. Conservative protestantism is a known risk factor for divorce.

https://www.journals.uchicago.edu/doi/10.1086/674703

[Anonymous]

Seems crazy to me. Back when my parents did it, they didn't know that your brain isn't even fully cooked until 25 at the earliest. I can't imagine missing out on all the people you meet if you're not partnered in your 20s. I grew SO MUCH. I know everyone is different so I would never say anything, and I observe more than I judge, but for me it would've been a nightmare.

[Anonymous]

It's happening for UMC college graduates.

[Anonymous]

Like everyone else I have some regrets in life, but getting married right out of college and starting a family young isn't one of them. The DCUM rule is don't get married or have kids until you have all your financial and educational ducks in a row. Not only does that have you starting too late and being "old" parents, it tends to make you update parents as well. That's because you have convinced yourselves that everything has to be planned perfectly and done by the book and that there's no such thing as happy chaos. But if you and your partner both have your eyes on the ball that's not true, and the advantages of being both young and educated parents are enormous.

[Anonymous]

uptight not update

[Anonymous]

Regardless of all the useless anecdotes in this thread...the reality is that no, there are not more kids getting married directly out of college.

There literally has always been a group that gets married right at graduation...obviously, back in the 1950s it was normal to get married at 19 for women and 21 for men (admittedly, most of the women were not in college) which were the median marriage ages.

Also, even the median marriage ages (which again keep increasing) hide the fact that fewer people in general are marrying at all.

https://thrivingcenterofpsych.com/blog/millennials-gen-z-marriage-expectations-statistics/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this happening at an accelerated rate these days? I've been to two weddings of 2025 college grads this summer and all the kids are 21/22. They're headed off to medical school and law school and are the kids of professional parents who married in their early 30s.
My teens say early marriage is all over instagram as well.

Sample size bias or is this a trend?

We are in our mid 50's with kids in their 20's so know lots of kids in that age group among ours and kids friends. I was invited to at least 6 weddings in last two years where bride and groom were in their early 20's, either just graduated or a year or two out of college. All with well off professionals parents and doing well themselves with six figure job or attending professional schools.

Even though it sounds like child marriage from DCUM perch but in many cases, it made complete sense. It takes long time to establish yourself in some fields so putting life on hold makes little sense. If they've found a good partner and wish to get engaged or married, its not better or worse than struggling with dating and hookups for a decade. A sensible and ambitious young couple can give each other stability and focus.

Must mention that these young couples don't have any debt and almost all have lucrative careers secured. Its specially becoming common for medical field as from college diploma to attending pay check, it often takes 8-15 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's happening for UMC college graduates.

At least for the smart ones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this happening at an accelerated rate these days? I've been to two weddings of 2025 college grads this summer and all the kids are 21/22. They're headed off to medical school and law school and are the kids of professional parents who married in their early 30s.
My teens say early marriage is all over instagram as well.

Sample size bias or is this a trend?

We are in our mid 50's with kids in their 20's so know lots of kids in that age group among ours and kids friends. I was invited to at least 6 weddings in last two years where bride and groom were in their early 20's, either just graduated or a year or two out of college. All with well off professionals parents and doing well themselves with six figure job or attending professional schools.

Even though it sounds like child marriage from DCUM perch but in many cases, it made complete sense. It takes long time to establish yourself in some fields so putting life on hold makes little sense. If they've found a good partner and wish to get engaged or married, its not better or worse than struggling with dating and hookups for a decade. A sensible and ambitious young couple can give each other stability and focus.

Must mention that these young couples don't have any debt and almost all have lucrative careers secured. Its specially becoming common for medical field as from college diploma to attending pay check, it often takes 8-15 years.

This. Meeting people to date these days is not a fun experience. It's not like what our generation went through. When you're in a great relationship, why give that all up to just be in the hellscape of online dating, situationships and ghosting? No one wants that. This generation actually craves long term commitment because it's rare to find it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not something that a typical DCUM poster would do so naturally it’s highly disapproved of. The preferred course is to wait a decade or more after college to get married, obsess over career, money and status, then struggle to find a mate and conceive in your mid to late 30s and THEN divorce and be miserable single moms to young kids in your 40s. That’s the way to do it!

+1

God forbid people start their families a little earlier.

Most of these couples are staying engaged for a year or two and even after getting married not rushing into immediately popping out kids but yes they have biology on their sides so can have kids in their late 20's or early 30's.