Do men actually want a wife? Or is marriage mostly for women?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think if men want to start a family they would prefer to be married. Women are the same way, but I think women are also seeking a lifelong partner. Men are as as well but IMO it's less important to them. A women would prefer to have sex with the same man for 20 years whereas a man if he is allowed he would prefer to have sex with 20 different women. Now feminists say that my point of view is rooted in sexism. Maybe they are right I have no idea. Or is it nature/biology? I don't know. I think marriage has a far deeper meaning to women..in fact they spend far more time managing the marriage. They tend to be very proud of their husbands and to show them off. Women talk about their husbands far more than men talk about their wives.

I'm bracing for the feminists to attack me lol

Spoken like a true single man. Have you met women in real life? It doesn’t sound like it.

He is not entirely wrong though. Women by far spend more than time managing the marriage. Hey are the first to see any signs of distress. This to me is a clear indication that marriages means more to them.

You don’t need to sock puppet pretending to agree, you can just reply to the post.

Women simply ✨having eyes✨ and listening to their partner means marriage means more to them? Wha about women who would (and do) gladly have sex with multiple partners? Hilarious that you think only men want that, there would be a lot less men calling women nasty names if it were true. Women like sex too. I mean, probably not with you, but that’s another story. Idk what you mean by “managing the marriage”, do you mean performing basic duties that men apparently are incapable of?

[Anonymous]

OP, find men who want to marry you and dump this current guy who doesn’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think if men want to start a family they would prefer to be married. Women are the same way, but I think women are also seeking a lifelong partner. Men are as as well but IMO it's less important to them. A women would prefer to have sex with the same man for 20 years whereas a man if he is allowed he would prefer to have sex with 20 different women. Now feminists say that my point of view is rooted in sexism. Maybe they are right I have no idea. Or is it nature/biology? I don't know. I think marriage has a far deeper meaning to women..in fact they spend far more time managing the marriage. They tend to be very proud of their husbands and to show them off. Women talk about their husbands far more than men talk about their wives.

I'm bracing for the feminists to attack me lol

Spoken like a true single man. Have you met women in real life? It doesn’t sound like it.

He is not entirely wrong though. Women by far spend more than time managing the marriage. Hey are the first to see any signs of distress. This to me is a clear indication that marriages means more to them.

We are essentially hunters and gatherers. Two hunters or two gatherers can't find a healthy balance. Yes, hunters and gatherers can switch periodically to break monotony of their roles or to help each other out but a team needs both a quarterback and a goalie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, find men who want to marry you and dump this current guy who doesn’t.

OP here. We are both divorced. I am also unsure if I want to get married again. It’s why I asked the question to see what others have experienced.

[Anonymous]

There aren't as many cheaters among women as in among men. Women tend to be more family oriented due to biological urge to have and protect children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is about the men you are with, not men in general. My husband always wanted to get married and have kids. We have been together 25 years. I wouldn’t date someone who sees marriage simply as a piece of paper. That is not a good match for my values.

+1. Husband and I are in our early 50s and have been married 25 years (together about 27). He always wanted to get married and have kids. Amongst our close friends (long-time married couples), all the men wanted to get married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of the trappings of "getting married" are aimed more at women than men, so I think men are generally less excited than women about engagement and weddings. And actually a lot of what men are told about engagement and weddings is burdensome (it's a lot of "you have to do this or your cheap" or "you have to do that or her parents won't respect you" or whatever) so it shouldn't come as a surprise that a lot of men are like OP's ex or BF and just not enthusiastic.

Meanwhile women get sold on the fairy tale of getting married from a young age. They are told that engagement and the wedding itself are really significant milestones for women, specifically, and both are made extra desirable with the bribe of the ring, the dress, the photos and attention. And social media has amped that up for a lot of women.

But that doesn't have a lot to do with marriage. I think marriage tends to benefit men more than women, especially if there are children. Women tend to make more sacrifices within marriage and offer more of value to the the family unit (on average, on average, of course this is not true of every marriage).

This is why women are more likely to file for divorce.

So to answer OP: men do want a wife but they want one without the burdens of proposing and a wedding, which is understandable because those things tend to be pretty shallow and not really geared towards men at all. But once married, men tend to get quite a bit out of it, whereas women are more likely to question the value of the actual marriage even though the proposal/engagement/wedding is more geared towards them.

Why do lesbians divorce at the highest rate and gay men the lowest? Women are the problem, not men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think if men want to start a family they would prefer to be married. Women are the same way, but I think women are also seeking a lifelong partner. Men are as as well but IMO it's less important to them. A women would prefer to have sex with the same man for 20 years whereas a man if he is allowed he would prefer to have sex with 20 different women. Now feminists say that my point of view is rooted in sexism. Maybe they are right I have no idea. Or is it nature/biology? I don't know. I think marriage has a far deeper meaning to women..in fact they spend far more time managing the marriage. They tend to be very proud of their husbands and to show them off. Women talk about their husbands far more than men talk about their wives.

I'm bracing for the feminists to attack me lol

Spoken like a true single man. Have you met women in real life? It doesn’t sound like it.

He is not entirely wrong though. Women by far spend more than time managing the marriage. Hey are the first to see any signs of distress. This to me is a clear indication that marriages means more to them.

We are essentially hunters and gatherers. Two hunters or two gatherers can't find a healthy balance. Yes, hunters and gatherers can switch periodically to break monotony of their roles or to help each other out but a team needs both a quarterback and a goalie.

Uh no not really. Also bizarre mix up of sports metaphors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been dating my gf for a year. We are both divorced..A year ago we agreed that marriage wasn't something we are both looking for. Now 13 months later she is starting to drop hints that she "would looooove to be married again" this is is often follow by lots of touches kisses. I just try to ignore it and change the subject quickly. I am a hard no on remarriage. Maybe for some women marriage is the only way they can be guaranteed that a man will commit to them. I don't know.

Why not just have a convo with her? No need to beat around the bush

Lots of reasons to beat the bush and around the bush.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: But once married, men tend to get quite a bit out of it,

Who are all these guys who have domestic slaves to provide cooking, child care, and on-demand sex? My marriage doesn't work like that, and I don't know any guys who are getting that.

This whole bean-counting attitude towards marriage is pernicious. Do you even like your husband? Do you value anything about him besides what he does around the house? Is there anything in your head besides this running balance sheet of "what he gets and what I get" and once it is too far in the red, from your point of view, it's divorce time?

Exactly. Don’t live in the same house or dwelling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think if men want to start a family they would prefer to be married. Women are the same way, but I think women are also seeking a lifelong partner. Men are as as well but IMO it's less important to them. A women would prefer to have sex with the same man for 20 years whereas a man if he is allowed he would prefer to have sex with 20 different women. Now feminists say that my point of view is rooted in sexism. Maybe they are right I have no idea. Or is it nature/biology? I don't know. I think marriage has a far deeper meaning to women..in fact they spend far more time managing the marriage. They tend to be very proud of their husbands and to show them off. Women talk about their husbands far more than men talk about their wives.

I'm bracing for the feminists to attack me lol

Gross. Go find a gang bang train.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think if men want to start a family they would prefer to be married. Women are the same way, but I think women are also seeking a lifelong partner. Men are as as well but IMO it's less important to them. A women would prefer to have sex with the same man for 20 years whereas a man if he is allowed he would prefer to have sex with 20 different women. Now feminists say that my point of view is rooted in sexism. Maybe they are right I have no idea. Or is it nature/biology? I don't know. I think marriage has a far deeper meaning to women..in fact they spend far more time managing the marriage. They tend to be very proud of their husbands and to show them off. Women talk about their husbands far more than men talk about their wives.

I'm bracing for the feminists to attack me lol

Spoken like a true single man. Have you met women in real life? It doesn’t sound like it.

And the research actually shows women would prefer more variety.

Research shows that women with kids would prefer monogamy and more parenting from the males. Not “more variety”. Unless, of course you logically mean more variety in childcare and housekeeping.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think if men want to start a family they would prefer to be married. Women are the same way, but I think women are also seeking a lifelong partner. Men are as as well but IMO it's less important to them. A women would prefer to have sex with the same man for 20 years whereas a man if he is allowed he would prefer to have sex with 20 different women. Now feminists say that my point of view is rooted in sexism. Maybe they are right I have no idea. Or is it nature/biology? I don't know. I think marriage has a far deeper meaning to women..in fact they spend far more time managing the marriage. They tend to be very proud of their husbands and to show them off. Women talk about their husbands far more than men talk about their wives.

I'm bracing for the feminists to attack me lol

Spoken like a true single man. Have you met women in real life? It doesn’t sound like it.

He is not entirely wrong though. Women by far spend more than time managing the marriage. Hey are the first to see any signs of distress. This to me is a clear indication that marriages means more to them.

You don’t need to sock puppet pretending to agree, you can just reply to the post.

Women simply ✨having eyes✨ and listening to their partner means marriage means more to them? Wha about women who would (and do) gladly have sex with multiple partners? Hilarious that you think only men want that, there would be a lot less men calling women nasty names if it were true. Women like sex too. I mean, probably not with you, but that’s another story. Idk what you mean by “managing the marriage”, do you mean performing basic duties that men apparently are incapable of?

women are as prosmescuis as men. I wish men weren't naive about this because then they can catch their wives gfs cheating on them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think if men want to start a family they would prefer to be married. Women are the same way, but I think women are also seeking a lifelong partner. Men are as as well but IMO it's less important to them. A women would prefer to have sex with the same man for 20 years whereas a man if he is allowed he would prefer to have sex with 20 different women. Now feminists say that my point of view is rooted in sexism. Maybe they are right I have no idea. Or is it nature/biology? I don't know. I think marriage has a far deeper meaning to women..in fact they spend far more time managing the marriage. They tend to be very proud of their husbands and to show them off. Women talk about their husbands far more than men talk about their wives.

I'm bracing for the feminists to attack me lol

Spoken like a true single man. Have you met women in real life? It doesn’t sound like it.

And the research actually shows women would prefer more variety.

Both wish for variety but both can be happily monogamous in a healthy marriage. Yes, they might think of variety but would know better to not jeopardize their good fortune.

More STD variety, duh.

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand at all when people dismissively say it’s “just a piece of paper” given that the legal and financial ramifications are so huge. To me, someone who says that is clueless to the point of it being very off-putting (but certainly fine if you DO discuss the legal ramifications and decide it’s not for you!). Ability to discuss weighty legal and financial matters is important in a serious relationship even if not married and even more so if married.