Median Guys have to step up @ t20/t30’s - the girls are blowing them out of the water

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is probably a different post but I was thinking recently the college applications really don’t reflect a lot of important social skills, and that may show up more with the boys.

This is off point but as an example, my son has had a girlfriend for over a year. It obviously takes some time that he could otherwise be filling with extracurrriculars for his college applications. But, he’s developing real skills in treating women with respect and kindness, considering the needs of others, etc. He interacts well with her parents and has developed something of a bond with her dad, who is from a different culture. These all seem like solid life skills to me that will probably make him a better college citizen and employee some day. But the colleges are filtering for people who don’t have these life experiences, because they have up this social time to instead start a pointless non profit or win some prize at a competition for something you’ll never use. I’m not really throwing shade at those kids — that was my older kid and that’s a fine way to be. But the colleges are definitely not capturing the real breadth of skills we might want out future citizens to have.

Really, you just list having a girlfriend for over a year as a major achievement, comparable with being involved in a non profit or winning a competition. Did you run out of reasons to be proud of your son? True that some nonprofits are fake, competitions might not be relevant, but let’s not kid ourselves here, so is having a girlfriend, which most kids do, while starting a nonprofit and winning a competition is objectively more rare and requires more effort than making out with a girl.

You do realize even t20 parents absolutely think their son(s) having a pretty, smart, well put together girlfriend is a massive massive accomplishment easily surpassing many academic achievements

Part of the reason why college admissions has become an arms race is because of dating/social reasons — unlike the economic/financial reasons, parents loathe to talk about it but it’s been brought up dcum in the past because it’s true and this is a less “pc” place than almost any other college forum

Who they marry is far more important than where they go to college

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is probably a different post but I was thinking recently the college applications really don’t reflect a lot of important social skills, and that may show up more with the boys.

This is off point but as an example, my son has had a girlfriend for over a year. It obviously takes some time that he could otherwise be filling with extracurrriculars for his college applications. But, he’s developing real skills in treating women with respect and kindness, considering the needs of others, etc. He interacts well with her parents and has developed something of a bond with her dad, who is from a different culture. These all seem like solid life skills to me that will probably make him a better college citizen and employee some day. But the colleges are filtering for people who don’t have these life experiences, because they have up this social time to instead start a pointless non profit or win some prize at a competition for something you’ll never use. I’m not really throwing shade at those kids — that was my older kid and that’s a fine way to be. But the colleges are definitely not capturing the real breadth of skills we might want out future citizens to have.

Really, you just list having a girlfriend for over a year as a major achievement, comparable with being involved in a non profit or winning a competition. Did you run out of reasons to be proud of your son? True that some nonprofits are fake, competitions might not be relevant, but let’s not kid ourselves here, so is having a girlfriend, which most kids do, while starting a nonprofit and winning a competition is objectively more rare and requires more effort than making out with a girl.

You do realize even t20 parents absolutely think their son(s) having a pretty, smart, well put together girlfriend is a massive massive accomplishment easily surpassing many academic achievements

Part of the reason why college admissions has become an arms race is because of dating/social reasons — unlike the economic/financial reasons, parents loathe to talk about it but it’s been brought up dcum in the past because it’s true and this is a less “pc” place than almost any other college forum

Who they marry is far more important than where they go to college

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is the generation of boys who spent their entire high school career being told by teachers and schools that they were privileged and entitled because of their gender, so sit down, shut up, don't ask questions and don't contribute, until everyone else less priveleged than you has had your stay. They learned that lesson well.

Then, they were the covid kids, where they spent their late high school and early college years isolated in their rooms on their computers.

They are not prepared because the training during their formative years was a disaster, and in some ways, designed to achieve this outcome.

Oh please. My teenage DD can tell you that the boys in her class sure never keep their opinions to themselves.

[Anonymous]

OP sounds like a misandrist.

Maybe we need to have affirmative action for men, just like the programs we have for women and minorities.

[Anonymous]

My T20 DS is smart on paper but has terrible social skills. I know what you are talking about. He’s tried to improve them, but it’s still a weakness. I suspect that you are getting boys like DS. The super social ones probably go into finance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is probably a different post but I was thinking recently the college applications really don’t reflect a lot of important social skills, and that may show up more with the boys.

This is off point but as an example, my son has had a girlfriend for over a year. It obviously takes some time that he could otherwise be filling with extracurrriculars for his college applications. But, he’s developing real skills in treating women with respect and kindness, considering the needs of others, etc. He interacts well with her parents and has developed something of a bond with her dad, who is from a different culture. These all seem like solid life skills to me that will probably make him a better college citizen and employee some day. But the colleges are filtering for people who don’t have these life experiences, because they have up this social time to instead start a pointless non profit or win some prize at a competition for something you’ll never use. I’m not really throwing shade at those kids — that was my older kid and that’s a fine way to be. But the colleges are definitely not capturing the real breadth of skills we might want out future citizens to have.

Really, you just list having a girlfriend for over a year as a major achievement, comparable with being involved in a non profit or winning a competition. Did you run out of reasons to be proud of your son? True that some nonprofits are fake, competitions might not be relevant, but let’s not kid ourselves here, so is having a girlfriend, which most kids do, while starting a nonprofit and winning a competition is objectively more rare and requires more effort than making out with a girl.

You do realize even t20 parents absolutely think their son(s) having a pretty, smart, well put together girlfriend is a massive massive accomplishment easily surpassing many academic achievements

Part of the reason why college admissions has become an arms race is because of dating/social reasons — unlike the economic/financial reasons, parents loathe to talk about it but it’s been brought up dcum in the past because it’s true and this is a less “pc” place than almost any other college forum

Who they marry is far more important than where they go to college

What do you mean by this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a really interesting post. I have a boy at an ivy and his male friends are all pretty engaging and social. That was true K-12 as well. He's going to need a job soon! Wish I knew where to send him to impress you

OP said median as in average kid at T20-t30. An average ivy kid is going to be similar to top-quarter kid at t20-30 range schools, so unless your kid is well below average at the ivy this thread isnt about him

[Anonymous]

Op here

Interviewed a boy from Penn today

We wanted to hang up in the middle of the interview but couldn’t since he interned in a senate office we’re friends with.

The amount of “likes” and “umm” and even a a random “like awesome”

After him we interviewed a girl from vassar and her vocabulary, cadence, tone….it was akin to being in the jungle observing two completely different species

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here

Interviewed a boy from Penn today

We wanted to hang up in the middle of the interview but couldn’t since he interned in a senate office we’re friends with.

The amount of “likes” and “umm” and even a a random “like awesome”

After him we interviewed a girl from vassar and her vocabulary, cadence, tone….it was akin to being in the jungle observing two completely different species

Some people are just nervous at interviews.

I was very nervous at interviews when I was in college.

20 years later, fancy grad school a zillion deals later I am not anymore.

That matters if your job is going to involve public speaking, but since it's an internship in a political office and he's probably going to be stuffing envelopes, just something to keep in mind.

[Anonymous]

T20s need to institute some sort of interview process more akin the Oxbridge to weed out the kids that got screwed by Covid unfortunately

I understand why state schools can’t but it’s unacceptable at t20s

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here

Interviewed a boy from Penn today

We wanted to hang up in the middle of the interview but couldn’t since he interned in a senate office we’re friends with.

The amount of “likes” and “umm” and even a a random “like awesome”

After him we interviewed a girl from vassar and her vocabulary, cadence, tone….it was akin to being in the jungle observing two completely different species

Some people are just nervous at interviews.

I was very nervous at interviews when I was in college.

20 years later, fancy grad school a zillion deals later I am not anymore.

That matters if your job is going to involve public speaking, but since it's an internship in a political office and he's probably going to be stuffing envelopes, just something to keep in mind.

We’re comparing all class of ‘25 with a sprinkling of ‘23 and ‘24 grads

The person I was most difficult with and quite frankly a bit of a dick to was with a class of ‘25 grad in this process and she passed with flying colors.

I don’t think she’ll get hired because I feel the actual hiring manager (I’m the senior director) has the final say and I won’t be surprised if the hiring manager feels threatened or thinks this particular interviewee won’t stay for longer than a year at tops if not 6 months.

But if I subjected the boys that I spoke to what I subjected the aforementioned candidate, they would’ve crumbled.

Yes the actual ft job we are hiring for has a public facing, client facing component to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is probably a different post but I was thinking recently the college applications really don’t reflect a lot of important social skills, and that may show up more with the boys.

This is off point but as an example, my son has had a girlfriend for over a year. It obviously takes some time that he could otherwise be filling with extracurrriculars for his college applications. But, he’s developing real skills in treating women with respect and kindness, considering the needs of others, etc. He interacts well with her parents and has developed something of a bond with her dad, who is from a different culture. These all seem like solid life skills to me that will probably make him a better college citizen and employee some day. But the colleges are filtering for people who don’t have these life experiences, because they have up this social time to instead start a pointless non profit or win some prize at a competition for something you’ll never use. I’m not really throwing shade at those kids — that was my older kid and that’s a fine way to be. But the colleges are definitely not capturing the real breadth of skills we might want out future citizens to have.

DS has had a very switched on girlfriend for over a year and his grades are a million times better (they study together). So it can go both ways…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is probably a different post but I was thinking recently the college applications really don’t reflect a lot of important social skills, and that may show up more with the boys.

This is off point but as an example, my son has had a girlfriend for over a year. It obviously takes some time that he could otherwise be filling with extracurrriculars for his college applications. But, he’s developing real skills in treating women with respect and kindness, considering the needs of others, etc. He interacts well with her parents and has developed something of a bond with her dad, who is from a different culture. These all seem like solid life skills to me that will probably make him a better college citizen and employee some day. But the colleges are filtering for people who don’t have these life experiences, because they have up this social time to instead start a pointless non profit or win some prize at a competition for something you’ll never use. I’m not really throwing shade at those kids — that was my older kid and that’s a fine way to be. But the colleges are definitely not capturing the real breadth of skills we might want out future citizens to have.

DS has had a very switched on girlfriend for over a year and his grades are a million times better (they study together). So it can go both ways…

Yep.

Also it builds confidence for males when they feel desired which then flows into academics and other things outside of the relationship.

It’s why we instinctively worry more when sons don’t have partners whereas not so much with our daughters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This year I’m on the hiring team as the senior/director person in our org’s entry level (consulting, political, policy type shop)…

and one thing I’ve noticed is the boys we are receiving from t20s are not good (on paper or even the few we’ve given interviews to just to get some boys in the hiring pipeline.) the boy interviews have been disasters so far

Granted we don’t get the top boys who go to more prestigious firms, or the stem boys, but the median liberal arts
/social science boys we see in our applicant pool vs the girls is night and day.

The girls even make pro-sports small talk with me better than the boys!

Btw these are all private college t20:t30 class of 2024 or 2025 grads

OP: The top boys aren't even interested in interviewing with us.

Also OP: The boys who interview with us don't seem like the top boys, the girls are so much better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This year I’m on the hiring team as the senior/director person in our org’s entry level (consulting, political, policy type shop)…

and one thing I’ve noticed is the boys we are receiving from t20s are not good (on paper or even the few we’ve given interviews to just to get some boys in the hiring pipeline.) the boy interviews have been disasters so far

Granted we don’t get the top boys who go to more prestigious firms, or the stem boys, but the median liberal arts
/social science boys we see in our applicant pool vs the girls is night and day.

The girls even make pro-sports small talk with me better than the boys!

Btw these are all private college t20:t30 class of 2024 or 2025 grads

OP: The top boys aren't even interested in interviewing with us.

Also OP: The boys who interview with us don't seem like the top boys, the girls are so much better.

I don’t think we are getting the top girls either who are attending t3 law or t50 med schools

This is about girls and boys outside the top 20-30%