Revealing affair

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

You sound like you can’t see things very clearly. The OP has only one choice: give the information to the AP’s spouse which (1) provided them with information they deserve and (2) makes it very likely that the marriage implodes, or don’t do that. The “blaming the cheated-on” is straightforward: giving the spouse the deserved info can result in breaking up the marriage, and both holding the info can preserve the marriage. I’m not saying to do one or the other, just that what the cheated-on spouse does has both an ethical and a harmful outcome.

When you are in hole, stop digging. Your "logic" gets worse the more you try to justify it.

+1

It’s amusing, if not completely pathetic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope the posters calling AP a whore aren’t staying with their disgusting husbands.

OP doesn’t sound concerned, she just wanted revenge on the AP. Great, now both AP and her DH are free to be in a legit relationship.

Two cheating whores deserve one another. Scumbags.

The better way to see this: two suffering people, dying emotionally in their marriages to disappointing partners. They see each other across a crowded room and fall in love, liberating each other from unhappiness.

Sometimes the moral choice is to explore the feelings, to have the affair. When the spouse underachieves so much and weighs you down, they have silently given you permission to look around for a better option.

When you find that better option, the moral thing to do is to jump so that your kids can finally see what a loving marriage between two sane, not crazy, successful people looks like.

They type in a disgusting profile with a pathetic username on an affair website looking for sex because they are decrepit and ugly and messed up.

Your Pollyanna Notebook Bridges of Madison County bullsh@t is fantasy. The guy will say whatever he can to get sex for free and then ghost you and go no contact when you start pushing for more.

Nope. Moral equivalence, from the first PP I quoted. Woman here, late 50s single six years. I’m divorced for a reason. I don’t explore looks or your escapist fantasies with married men. Just zero interest in some cheating POS. I liberated myself from my own situation- via divorce. Now I can do what I want.

If two married people escape the reality of their lives and children and the actual work that all takes- claiming it as a moral choice, I’d do a hard stop. It’s a great way to focus your attention on another instead of looking within and recognizing that your marriage- which you’re still in- failed. There’s no sense of the heartache you leave in your wrath, because your spouses may have been unhappy- but surely weren’t prepared to meet an affair partner, new wife, and “liberator” who claims some sort of high ground while the shards of their kids vision of home and security falls by the wayside.

-divorced parent

[Anonymous]

Edit- late 40s - typo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Congratulations on possibly destroying children’s lives with a bitter divorce that might not have otherwise happened if you didn’t feel the need to insert yourself into other’s lives.

This is worse than cheating. You are directly possibly causing trauma for kids that may not have happened otherwise. Marriage is about much more than sex.

People should mind their own business.

-never cheated

Triggered AP alert!

Not an AP. never cheated. I am divorced. I have a “good divorce” but when something like this happens, it causes bad divorces that might otherwise happen. That directly puts kids at risk. Just sex between adults does not do that. Acting like the morality police does involve kids. Bad divorces hurt kids. Cheating alone hurts adults. See the difference? Most affairs, according to research, never get discovered. Bringing that to light when it is not your own marriage is flat out selfish and wrong. I even heard Dr Phil agree about this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound just as selfish and self centered as the cheaters OP.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Congratulations on possibly destroying children’s lives with a bitter divorce that might not have otherwise happened if you didn’t feel the need to insert yourself into other’s lives.

This is worse than cheating. You are directly possibly causing trauma for kids that may not have happened otherwise. Marriage is about much more than sex.

People should mind their own business.

-never cheated

Hold on. It’s the fault of the cheaters, who didn’t give a second thought to the stability and welfare of their children or spouses. Let’s not blame the victim here. The marriages were broken the moment those people decided to cheat.

Wrong. Sex is not the end all be all of marriage. Most marriages survive infidelity. When they don’t, a bad divorce ensues affecting kids. Don’t be the person who contributes to that probable outcome—worse than the original offense between adults/

[Anonymous]

Amen Sista!! 🤜🏿🤛🏿

Even though many people recommend not doing this - I probably would let the other spouse know.

Because I know I would want to know if I were ever in their shoes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Congratulations on possibly destroying children’s lives with a bitter divorce that might not have otherwise happened if you didn’t feel the need to insert yourself into other’s lives.

This is worse than cheating. You are directly possibly causing trauma for kids that may not have happened otherwise. Marriage is about much more than sex.

People should mind their own business.

-never cheated

Hold on. It’s the fault of the cheaters, who didn’t give a second thought to the stability and welfare of their children or spouses. Let’s not blame the victim here. The marriages were broken the moment those people decided to cheat.

Wrong. Sex is not the end all be all of marriage. Most marriages survive infidelity. When they don’t, a bad divorce ensues affecting kids. Don’t be the person who contributes to that probable outcome—worse than the original offense between adults/

Says the person who is still married to the person who cheated on them.

It is NEVER a good idea to remain married to a person that steps outside of their marriage.
Period.

I would not want to continue sharing my bed w/a spouse who would lie + betray me in such a nefarious manner.
And if we had kids in the home….

What kind of example would I be setting up for them?
To remain married to someone who is deceitful, has low integrity & is comfortable enough to take off their clothes w/another person??!

No one deserves to endure all the emotional strain that an infidelity can present in a marital relationship. 😥

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Congratulations on possibly destroying children’s lives with a bitter divorce that might not have otherwise happened if you didn’t feel the need to insert yourself into other’s lives.

This is worse than cheating. You are directly possibly causing trauma for kids that may not have happened otherwise. Marriage is about much more than sex.

People should mind their own business.

-never cheated

This is 1000% not worse than cheating.

I don’t think I would do this, but it is not worse than what the 2 cheating spouses did. Jesus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mind your own fuc*ing business

This IS her business

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did the same.

I don’t GAF what happens to their family just like they don’t care what happened to my family.

They created this problem, not me.

A-holes don’t like to take responsibility for their actions. FAFO

+1000000

[Anonymous]

Everything about this thread is unattractive. Rotten people on all sides. Selfish, vengeful, nasty, ungraceful and ugly. Yuck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I made an instagram account with their pictures.

Let’s all dance in the sun!

Private investigator photos?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I made an instagram account with their pictures.

Let’s all dance in the sun!

omg. of them together? lol. If this is really true that's pretty funny.

They're all G rated, no one would give them a second look, I will say the suggested follows are the most entertaining.
They're aware of the account so I blocked the affair partner so they won't be able to see updates or who follows the account. One picture in particular has 21 shares so it's making the rounds way behind their back, just like they went way behind mine.

FB and IG have this great new feature where the blocks go across IP addresses, networks, email confirmations and device IMEI so no matter how many accounts they make they can't see it.
Sorry.....I'm so not sorry!

Yassssssssssss Queen!!!!!! 👸🏻

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound just as selfish and self centered as the cheaters OP.

I fail to see the selfishness

Re-read the OP. Not even fake concern of “the other spouse deserved know the truth”, everything is “I” and “me”.

Uh huh. And that’s what the affair was