If you are a mistress, do you feel ANY guilt?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think there is any serious question that women who participate in these relationships have serious often unacknowledged problems in their background affecting their mental health. They may think they are fine but they are complicit in close injury to others including very much to children. On some level we are all complicit in all kinds of moral issues BUT this is so direct and so knowing. they are trying to make up for some part of them that is broken by hurting others and feeling power. they need to do a deep dig with a therapist to figure out why they are not just ok but literally taking pleasure n hurting others. Likely few do but maybe some. It is at best immature and self centered but also has a hint of sociopathy because they do not care/ feel.

+100

[Anonymous]

I am guessing that the AP has no better options - if there was a sexy, wealthy, funny, available unmarried man they would go for him. But the best they can do is a married dude, for whatever reason: they like unavailable men, maybe for the money (sugar daddy situation), or desperation. Who knows.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For AP’s - what is the benefit or attraction to a married guy? Is it just sex, or is it something else?

It seems like women can literally download any of the dating apps and have sex at their doorstep wishing the hour. I mean, it’s harder than getting pizza, but not by much.

Hurt another woman. Get some sicko pride and boost in self esteem that they can get a married guy to cheat on his wife. It’s a deep sick psychology.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am guessing that the AP has no better options - if there was a sexy, wealthy, funny, available unmarried man they would go for him. But the best they can do is a married dude, for whatever reason: they like unavailable men, maybe for the money (sugar daddy situation), or desperation. Who knows.

They can’t get a single guy like that interested in them. They can punch above their weight in the married world. These guys would never date then if they were single.

[Anonymous]

Didn’t feel an ounce of guilt. He was having a midlife crisis and spiraling in his marriage. I was not the cause of the mid life crisis - and if it hadn’t been me having a passionate brief fling with him it’d have been someone else. He and his actions hurt his marriage. If he’d instead drained their bank account and bought a sports car would you blame the car? This is another weird example of expecting women to act a certain way not for their own wellbeing or self interest but because men are apparently incapable of controlling themselves so women need to do it for them. Nope - your husband made a choice and it’s on him. My responding to the hot guy who flirted with me at a conference resulting in the fun fling I needed at that time in my life is a choice for me, not sorry I didn’t try to help you control your husband when he was clearly actively pursing cheating on you.

And is he a bit gross? Sure. Would I date or marry him? Absolutely not. But I wasn’t looking for love - I’m no fool marrying an obvious cheater then expecting him to change

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Didn’t feel an ounce of guilt. He was having a midlife crisis and spiraling in his marriage. I was not the cause of the mid life crisis - and if it hadn’t been me having a passionate brief fling with him it’d have been someone else. He and his actions hurt his marriage. If he’d instead drained their bank account and bought a sports car would you blame the car? This is another weird example of expecting women to act a certain way not for their own wellbeing or self interest but because men are apparently incapable of controlling themselves so women need to do it for them. Nope - your husband made a choice and it’s on him. My responding to the hot guy who flirted with me at a conference resulting in the fun fling I needed at that time in my life is a choice for me, not sorry I didn’t try to help you control your husband when he was clearly actively pursing cheating on you.

And is he a bit gross? Sure. Would I date or marry him? Absolutely not. But I wasn’t looking for love - I’m no fool marrying an obvious cheater then expecting him to change

^just a whore looking for dk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am guessing that the AP has no better options - if there was a sexy, wealthy, funny, available unmarried man they would go for him. But the best they can do is a married dude, for whatever reason: they like unavailable men, maybe for the money (sugar daddy situation), or desperation. Who knows.

They can’t get a single guy like that interested in them. They can punch above their weight in the married world. These guys would never date then if they were single.

^this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am guessing that the AP has no better options - if there was a sexy, wealthy, funny, available unmarried man they would go for him. But the best they can do is a married dude, for whatever reason: they like unavailable men, maybe for the money (sugar daddy situation), or desperation. Who knows.

💯

[Anonymous]

No. They don’t. And I don’t feel any guilt for telling her husband and watching her life fall apart and getting served divorce papers. And losing the house. And teens not talking to her.

You build your bed….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's all about karma - expect that the energy you give out, some day you will receive; to you APs who are with the DHs who are cheating, expect some day you may be cheated on, too.

To the DHs who are cheating - why not just tell your wife you want an open marriage? Why the secrets? Why not just be transparent with your wife about what you want, so she can have options too? IT is the lying that is the worst part of it, IMO. IT is a cliche that the cheated on wife has some how let her self go and is unaccomplished - think of Maria Shriver and Arnold Schwartzenager and the nanny- there are plenty of accomplished, sexy, gorgeous wives who are cheated on by their husbands; because it is not about whether their wife is quality or not, it is that some people have a compulsion to cheat, or may be cheating on their mistresses - they are putting out an energy - and if their wives knew who they really were, they might not want to be in that relationship. By keeping things secret/lying, a DH is taking away the DW's choice. By being an AP, you are complicit in this deception.

Most wives can't handle a conversation about an open marriage, let alone the practice of one.

[Anonymous]

Lots of triggered APs on this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am guessing that the AP has no better options - if there was a sexy, wealthy, funny, available unmarried man they would go for him. But the best they can do is a married dude, for whatever reason: they like unavailable men, maybe for the money (sugar daddy situation), or desperation. Who knows.

The situation I know of was a tradeup. Married AP divorced her not earning enough and possibly mentally unstable first husband after falling into bed with my friend's husband. She traded up with help from an affair baby that cleared the decks of the 2 prior marriages. And they live happily ever after.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Didn’t feel an ounce of guilt. He was having a midlife crisis and spiraling in his marriage. I was not the cause of the mid life crisis - and if it hadn’t been me having a passionate brief fling with him it’d have been someone else. He and his actions hurt his marriage. If he’d instead drained their bank account and bought a sports car would you blame the car? This is another weird example of expecting women to act a certain way not for their own wellbeing or self interest but because men are apparently incapable of controlling themselves so women need to do it for them. Nope - your husband made a choice and it’s on him. My responding to the hot guy who flirted with me at a conference resulting in the fun fling I needed at that time in my life is a choice for me, not sorry I didn’t try to help you control your husband when he was clearly actively pursing cheating on you.

And is he a bit gross? Sure. Would I date or marry him? Absolutely not. But I wasn’t looking for love - I’m no fool marrying an obvious cheater then expecting him to change

At least you can sell the car later and get most of your money back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Didn’t feel an ounce of guilt. He was having a midlife crisis and spiraling in his marriage. I was not the cause of the mid life crisis - and if it hadn’t been me having a passionate brief fling with him it’d have been someone else. He and his actions hurt his marriage. If he’d instead drained their bank account and bought a sports car would you blame the car? This is another weird example of expecting women to act a certain way not for their own wellbeing or self interest but because men are apparently incapable of controlling themselves so women need to do it for them. Nope - your husband made a choice and it’s on him. My responding to the hot guy who flirted with me at a conference resulting in the fun fling I needed at that time in my life is a choice for me, not sorry I didn’t try to help you control your husband when he was clearly actively pursing cheating on you.

And is he a bit gross? Sure. Would I date or marry him? Absolutely not. But I wasn’t looking for love - I’m no fool marrying an obvious cheater then expecting him to change

^just a whore looking for dk.

Is that supposed to be insulting? Yep I enjoy s*x and am not looking for a relationship. I don’t feel bad about either of those things and I don’t mislead anyone on what I’m looking for. The cheating spouses (men and women) are the ones not being honest to those involved about what they want (whether it’s an open marriage, a divorce, more s*x with their wives or whatever else).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's all about karma - expect that the energy you give out, some day you will receive; to you APs who are with the DHs who are cheating, expect some day you may be cheated on, too.

To the DHs who are cheating - why not just tell your wife you want an open marriage? Why the secrets? Why not just be transparent with your wife about what you want, so she can have options too? IT is the lying that is the worst part of it, IMO. IT is a cliche that the cheated on wife has some how let her self go and is unaccomplished - think of Maria Shriver and Arnold Schwartzenager and the nanny- there are plenty of accomplished, sexy, gorgeous wives who are cheated on by their husbands; because it is not about whether their wife is quality or not, it is that some people have a compulsion to cheat, or may be cheating on their mistresses - they are putting out an energy - and if their wives knew who they really were, they might not want to be in that relationship. By keeping things secret/lying, a DH is taking away the DW's choice. By being an AP, you are complicit in this deception.

Most wives can't handle a conversation about an open marriage, let alone the practice of one.

maybe not but they can leave.