If you are a mistress, do you feel ANY guilt?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Didn’t feel an ounce of guilt. He was having a midlife crisis and spiraling in his marriage. I was not the cause of the mid life crisis - and if it hadn’t been me having a passionate brief fling with him it’d have been someone else. He and his actions hurt his marriage. If he’d instead drained their bank account and bought a sports car would you blame the car? This is another weird example of expecting women to act a certain way not for their own wellbeing or self interest but because men are apparently incapable of controlling themselves so women need to do it for them. Nope - your husband made a choice and it’s on him. My responding to the hot guy who flirted with me at a conference resulting in the fun fling I needed at that time in my life is a choice for me, not sorry I didn’t try to help you control your husband when he was clearly actively pursing cheating on you.

And is he a bit gross? Sure. Would I date or marry him? Absolutely not. But I wasn’t looking for love - I’m no fool marrying an obvious cheater then expecting him to change

Nice try to justify your having the morals of an alley cat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Didn’t feel an ounce of guilt. He was having a midlife crisis and spiraling in his marriage. I was not the cause of the mid life crisis - and if it hadn’t been me having a passionate brief fling with him it’d have been someone else. He and his actions hurt his marriage. If he’d instead drained their bank account and bought a sports car would you blame the car? This is another weird example of expecting women to act a certain way not for their own wellbeing or self interest but because men are apparently incapable of controlling themselves so women need to do it for them. Nope - your husband made a choice and it’s on him. My responding to the hot guy who flirted with me at a conference resulting in the fun fling I needed at that time in my life is a choice for me, not sorry I didn’t try to help you control your husband when he was clearly actively pursing cheating on you.

And is he a bit gross? Sure. Would I date or marry him? Absolutely not. But I wasn’t looking for love - I’m no fool marrying an obvious cheater then expecting him to change

At least you can sell the car later and get most of your money back.

🤣🤣🤣

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am guessing that the AP has no better options - if there was a sexy, wealthy, funny, available unmarried man they would go for him. But the best they can do is a married dude, for whatever reason: they like unavailable men, maybe for the money (sugar daddy situation), or desperation. Who knows.

💯

You have a hard time accepting a woman might not want a serious or long term. Which is confusing with all the awful situations on here reported by women in relationships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. They don’t. And I don’t feel any guilt for telling her husband and watching her life fall apart and getting served divorce papers. And losing the house. And teens not talking to her.

You build your bed….

Seems justified.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Didn’t feel an ounce of guilt. He was having a midlife crisis and spiraling in his marriage. I was not the cause of the mid life crisis - and if it hadn’t been me having a passionate brief fling with him it’d have been someone else. He and his actions hurt his marriage. If he’d instead drained their bank account and bought a sports car would you blame the car? This is another weird example of expecting women to act a certain way not for their own wellbeing or self interest but because men are apparently incapable of controlling themselves so women need to do it for them. Nope - your husband made a choice and it’s on him. My responding to the hot guy who flirted with me at a conference resulting in the fun fling I needed at that time in my life is a choice for me, not sorry I didn’t try to help you control your husband when he was clearly actively pursing cheating on you.

And is he a bit gross? Sure. Would I date or marry him? Absolutely not. But I wasn’t looking for love - I’m no fool marrying an obvious cheater then expecting him to change

Nice try to justify your having the morals of an alley cat.

What are the morals of an alley cat?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why should they? They never made vows to anyone. The scorned wives in here need to direct their anger to the real culprit.

It takes two for adultery to happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am guessing that the AP has no better options - if there was a sexy, wealthy, funny, available unmarried man they would go for him. But the best they can do is a married dude, for whatever reason: they like unavailable men, maybe for the money (sugar daddy situation), or desperation. Who knows.

They can’t get a single guy like that interested in them. They can punch above their weight in the married world. These guys would never date then if they were single.

Careful here. The same could be said about the wives whose DHs are cheating. If you were sexy, funny, and nurturing, your DH would not stray.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Didn’t feel an ounce of guilt. He was having a midlife crisis and spiraling in his marriage. I was not the cause of the mid life crisis - and if it hadn’t been me having a passionate brief fling with him it’d have been someone else. He and his actions hurt his marriage. If he’d instead drained their bank account and bought a sports car would you blame the car? This is another weird example of expecting women to act a certain way not for their own wellbeing or self interest but because men are apparently incapable of controlling themselves so women need to do it for them. Nope - your husband made a choice and it’s on him. My responding to the hot guy who flirted with me at a conference resulting in the fun fling I needed at that time in my life is a choice for me, not sorry I didn’t try to help you control your husband when he was clearly actively pursing cheating on you.

And is he a bit gross? Sure. Would I date or marry him? Absolutely not. But I wasn’t looking for love - I’m no fool marrying an obvious cheater then expecting him to change

Nice try to justify your having the morals of an alley cat.

Right? PP you are not a car. You are human and you have a brain. You are supposed to use your better judgment, and your actions should consider people other than yourself.

Aiding and abetting is a crime, even if you didn't plan the crime or chose the target.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Didn’t feel an ounce of guilt. He was having a midlife crisis and spiraling in his marriage. I was not the cause of the mid life crisis - and if it hadn’t been me having a passionate brief fling with him it’d have been someone else. He and his actions hurt his marriage. If he’d instead drained their bank account and bought a sports car would you blame the car? This is another weird example of expecting women to act a certain way not for their own wellbeing or self interest but because men are apparently incapable of controlling themselves so women need to do it for them. Nope - your husband made a choice and it’s on him. My responding to the hot guy who flirted with me at a conference resulting in the fun fling I needed at that time in my life is a choice for me, not sorry I didn’t try to help you control your husband when he was clearly actively pursing cheating on you.

And is he a bit gross? Sure. Would I date or marry him? Absolutely not. But I wasn’t looking for love - I’m no fool marrying an obvious cheater then expecting him to change

Nice try to justify your having the morals of an alley cat.

Right? PP you are not a car. You are human and you have a brain. You are supposed to use your better judgment, and your actions should consider people other than yourself.

Aiding and abetting is a crime, even if you didn't plan the crime or chose the target.

A crime? C’mon. Affairs are just one form of betrayal in partnership, but they are not crimes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Didn’t feel an ounce of guilt. He was having a midlife crisis and spiraling in his marriage. I was not the cause of the mid life crisis - and if it hadn’t been me having a passionate brief fling with him it’d have been someone else. He and his actions hurt his marriage. If he’d instead drained their bank account and bought a sports car would you blame the car? This is another weird example of expecting women to act a certain way not for their own wellbeing or self interest but because men are apparently incapable of controlling themselves so women need to do it for them. Nope - your husband made a choice and it’s on him. My responding to the hot guy who flirted with me at a conference resulting in the fun fling I needed at that time in my life is a choice for me, not sorry I didn’t try to help you control your husband when he was clearly actively pursing cheating on you.

And is he a bit gross? Sure. Would I date or marry him? Absolutely not. But I wasn’t looking for love - I’m no fool marrying an obvious cheater then expecting him to change

Nice try to justify your having the morals of an alley cat.

What are the morals of an alley cat?

Open for anyone to stick their d!ck in.

[Anonymous]

OP, you realize that men lie about their status, or fail to disclose it. And when the target of an advance is a young woman, it may never occur to her that the man she met dancing or at a conference would be married, especially if she is single and ethical. That literally happened to me (long ago) when I was 28.

I was working overseas, was out one night at a club, and met an older American who was there on business. He ended up hanging out with me and my group of friends, and later we ALL ended up back at my apartment for an after party. One by one the other friends left, but he stayed. The chemistry that had building all night exploded. I was so in the moment and naive, it NEVER occurred to me that he might be married because he wasn't wearing a ring. The next morning after a few more hours together, I randomly asked him if he was married, and he said "yes." I was shocked, and yet the hook had been set. I should have said no when he asked me out again, but I there was a lot going on in my life at the time, I was far from home, lonely, and I found him comforting in addition to sexy and fun.

It was a slippery slope. I'd see him whenever he was in the country, and otherwise went about my life--in other words I rationalized it as a situational thing. He probably had one of "me" in every city he covered. That situation continued episodically for two years, during which time I never had any illusions about something more, nor was I particularly curious about his wife--he was just a hot older man who rocked my world.

Life went on--mine changed in all the ways you can imagine it does at that age. Looking back 30 years later, and 20 years married, I see how he preyed on my youth, naïveté and loneliness; and how callous I was to think it wouldn't be hurtful to his wife because it was happening so far away from his hometown and she didn't know about it.

So no, in the moment I felt no guilt, but I do wish I'd chosen another path.

[Anonymous]

You may not care about the spouse because you've been fed one narrative that is a tale as old as time. But you also f'd with my kids and their future and the assumptions they made about their future. College not an issue but grad school, which I also assumed we would help cover if necessary, is now off the table. You are complicit in blowing up my family. I can weather the blows. I have decades of therapy behind me. But your part in rocking my kids' world doesn't let you off the hook so easily.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Didn’t feel an ounce of guilt. He was having a midlife crisis and spiraling in his marriage. I was not the cause of the mid life crisis - and if it hadn’t been me having a passionate brief fling with him it’d have been someone else. He and his actions hurt his marriage. If he’d instead drained their bank account and bought a sports car would you blame the car? This is another weird example of expecting women to act a certain way not for their own wellbeing or self interest but because men are apparently incapable of controlling themselves so women need to do it for them. Nope - your husband made a choice and it’s on him. My responding to the hot guy who flirted with me at a conference resulting in the fun fling I needed at that time in my life is a choice for me, not sorry I didn’t try to help you control your husband when he was clearly actively pursing cheating on you.

And is he a bit gross? Sure. Would I date or marry him? Absolutely not. But I wasn’t looking for love - I’m no fool marrying an obvious cheater then expecting him to change

Nice try to justify your having the morals of an alley cat.

Right? PP you are not a car. You are human and you have a brain. You are supposed to use your better judgment, and your actions should consider people other than yourself.

Aiding and abetting is a crime, even if you didn't plan the crime or chose the target.

A crime? C’mon. Affairs are just one form of betrayal in partnership, but they are not crimes.

The are crimes in religion and overseas in many countries.

[Anonymous]

The best karma for a mistress is that she gets to keep him. She'll find out believe me. Seen it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Didn’t feel an ounce of guilt. He was having a midlife crisis and spiraling in his marriage. I was not the cause of the mid life crisis - and if it hadn’t been me having a passionate brief fling with him it’d have been someone else. He and his actions hurt his marriage. If he’d instead drained their bank account and bought a sports car would you blame the car? This is another weird example of expecting women to act a certain way not for their own wellbeing or self interest but because men are apparently incapable of controlling themselves so women need to do it for them. Nope - your husband made a choice and it’s on him. My responding to the hot guy who flirted with me at a conference resulting in the fun fling I needed at that time in my life is a choice for me, not sorry I didn’t try to help you control your husband when he was clearly actively pursing cheating on you.

And is he a bit gross? Sure. Would I date or marry him? Absolutely not. But I wasn’t looking for love - I’m no fool marrying an obvious cheater then expecting him to change

Nice try to justify your having the morals of an alley cat.

Right? PP you are not a car. You are human and you have a brain. You are supposed to use your better judgment, and your actions should consider people other than yourself.

Aiding and abetting is a crime, even if you didn't plan the crime or chose the target.

A crime? C’mon. Affairs are just one form of betrayal in partnership, but they are not crimes.

The are crimes in religion and overseas in many countries.

And then they are not a big deal in many others. What’s your point?