If you are a mistress, do you feel ANY guilt?

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Of course we feel guilty. It’s horrible. None of this was supposed to happen, and it’s miserable. Yes, I’ve ended it multiple times, but he keeps chasing. I wish it had never started, and I wish I could go back to the day we met and undo everything.


You are not a victim

Hope this helps!
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am married also and no, I do not feel guilt. I don’t want him to leave his family and I am not leaving mine.


Disgusting. Both of you. Why do either of you think you deserve your partners? The devaluing is something you do that is actually not real. It's just something you do in your head to justify your compulsions.


In my experience, which is of course, limited, APs (friends of mine and those who married DH’s friends) tend to be self-centered and arrogant. I’ve never been shocked to see that these are the women who decided to become APs. Yes, ultimately the buck stops with the husbands, but this question is for APs.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:No.

If the marriage were working he wouldn’t be in love with me. He is only still there for the kids.


Question. Do you feel guilt about the kids?



What they don’t know won’t hurt them.


But what about those impacted by upset mothers, parents fighting about this matter, and possibly having a family broken up. Nothing? So cold!
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:No.

If the marriage were working he wouldn’t be in love with me. He is only still there for the kids.


Question. Do you feel guilt about the kids?


Why would I feel guilt about the kids? My relationship has nothing to do with them. I have no interest in him leaving his family. I have no interest in “more” than we have now— I’m very busy with my career and friends and travel and do not want a marriage or even to have to deal with a man full time. I’m not hurting his kids.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:No.

If the marriage were working he wouldn’t be in love with me. He is only still there for the kids.


Question. Do you feel guilt about the kids?



What they don’t know won’t hurt them.


Until they find the evidence.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:No.

If the marriage were working he wouldn’t be in love with me. He is only still there for the kids.


Question. Do you feel guilt about the kids?



What they don’t know won’t hurt them.


Yup. Same values as the cheater.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:No.

If the marriage were working he wouldn’t be in love with me. He is only still there for the kids.


Question. Do you feel guilt about the kids?



What they don’t know won’t hurt them.


But what about those impacted by upset mothers, parents fighting about this matter, and possibly having a family broken up. Nothing? So cold!


The marriage is basically over anyway. That is more the cheated on spouse’s fault than the AP’s. Do you think there would be no “fighting” without the AP? There is fighting in my man’s home constantly even without the DW knowing about us. His kids are teens though, so he won’t have to put up with her much longer.
Anonymous
Ask Camilla
Anonymous
No, because you’re just so whiny and annoying, OP.
Anonymous
For AP’s - what is the benefit or attraction to a married guy? Is it just sex, or is it something else?

It seems like women can literally download any of the dating apps and have sex at their doorstep wishing the hour. I mean, it’s harder than getting pizza, but not by much.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Or do you just not care AT all???


Don’t care. He hasn’t been balls deep in her in years. She deserves it for neglecting him.

Is that what he told you? How cliche.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:No.

If the marriage were working he wouldn’t be in love with me. He is only still there for the kids.

Until he leaves you one day. Some of you women are such cliches.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:No.

If the marriage were working he wouldn’t be in love with me. He is only still there for the kids.


Question. Do you feel guilt about the kids?


Why would I feel guilt about the kids? My relationship has nothing to do with them. I have no interest in him leaving his family. I have no interest in “more” than we have now— I’m very busy with my career and friends and travel and do not want a marriage or even to have to deal with a man full time. I’m not hurting his kids.

uh.. yes you are. You are complicit in hurting his kids.

It's one thing if you didn't know he had kids, but you clearly do, and you are hurting the kids by knowingly helping destroy their family unit.

Awful.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:No.

If the marriage were working he wouldn’t be in love with me. He is only still there for the kids.

Until he leaves you one day. Some of you women are such cliches.


I don’t want long term anyway. Not a big deal.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:No.

If the marriage were working he wouldn’t be in love with me. He is only still there for the kids.


This. If the marriage was happy, he wouldn’t be with me. The mortgage and bills get paid, so he’s meeting his roommate obligations.
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