Elementary kids, small house, how do couples have sex?

[Anonymous]

It takes two to tango.

[Anonymous]

We never worried about it except to keep the noise down. Yes, we’d close the door and hope the kids were sound asleep but life has to go on. Only once in all the years our kids were under roof did one of them come in while we were having sex and somehow the child survived the trauma.

[Anonymous]

I always just put on music.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Exactly. My kids are like ghosts. If we ever went to the basement they would be like, “what are you doing down here?!? When are you coming upstairs?!?” The last family vacation we took we waited until 3am in another bedroom and my son still woke up and asked “why mom is crying.” Nightmare scenario. I guess I need to feel some relaxation and not utter dread that I’m going to be walked in on any second. It ruins it for me. Especially when there are no quickies for a husband on SSRIs. It’s a whole performance just to get him to finish.

1. Eventually your kids reach an age where they are not following you around the house constantly.

2. We make sure they are preoccupied with something like a tv show or video game.

We only do it in the basement because it is much more isolated than our own room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Close doors. Ceiling fans. White noise machines. Get a better bed and make sure it is screwed together really tight and put it on a nice thick rug. Turn on the TV while you do it. Run the dryer while you do it. Have sex while the kids are at school. And so on.

Another thing people do that is no longer an option for you is only have as many kids as allows you to still have a reasonable amount of privacy in your home. You filled up your house with people and now that those people are older you're like "wait I have no privacy." Well some of us thought about that before having another kid. Sorry.

Hahaaaa pretending that you chose not to have more kids in order to preserve your privacy and sex life - sure Jan.

Why do you think people choose to have fewer kids? This is as good a reason as any -- I'd rather have an only and some privacy and a functional sex life than 3 kids and have to take a 20 year break from sex because I worry someone will walk in on me.

It does seem weird. I can’t imagine if my sister and brothers and nieces and nephews were never born because my parents wanted more privacy during sex.

If they hadn't been born you'd never know the difference.

Some people have larger houses or layouts that allow privacy and can have all the kids they want. OP is saying they never have sex because they have a small house and then filled it with children and now they have no privacy and no sex. I think that's weirder than limiting the number of kids you have in order to avoid this problem (or having to sneak down to the basement for sex). But to each their own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Close doors. Ceiling fans. White noise machines. Get a better bed and make sure it is screwed together really tight and put it on a nice thick rug. Turn on the TV while you do it. Run the dryer while you do it. Have sex while the kids are at school. And so on.

Another thing people do that is no longer an option for you is only have as many kids as allows you to still have a reasonable amount of privacy in your home. You filled up your house with people and now that those people are older you're like "wait I have no privacy." Well some of us thought about that before having another kid. Sorry.

Hahaaaa pretending that you chose not to have more kids in order to preserve your privacy and sex life - sure Jan.

Why do you think people choose to have fewer kids? This is as good a reason as any -- I'd rather have an only and some privacy and a functional sex life than 3 kids and have to take a 20 year break from sex because I worry someone will walk in on me.

It does seem weird. I can’t imagine if my sister and brothers and nieces and nephews were never born because my parents wanted more privacy during sex.

If they hadn't been born you'd never know the difference.

Some people have larger houses or layouts that allow privacy and can have all the kids they want. OP is saying they never have sex because they have a small house and then filled it with children and now they have no privacy and no sex. I think that's weirder than limiting the number of kids you have in order to avoid this problem (or having to sneak down to the basement for sex). But to each their own.

Of course you would know the difference between your siblings being alive and not being alive.

[Anonymous]

We just gave up worrying about it. Remember that in prairie days people had one room cabins and still managed to have sex. People all over the world have sex in close quarters. And if our kids overhear? Well, at least they know their middle-aged parents still enjoy a healthy sex life.

Then again, I’m one of those mothers who gives her teen daughters vibrators.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Close doors. Ceiling fans. White noise machines. Get a better bed and make sure it is screwed together really tight and put it on a nice thick rug. Turn on the TV while you do it. Run the dryer while you do it. Have sex while the kids are at school. And so on.

Another thing people do that is no longer an option for you is only have as many kids as allows you to still have a reasonable amount of privacy in your home. You filled up your house with people and now that those people are older you're like "wait I have no privacy." Well some of us thought about that before having another kid. Sorry.

Hahaaaa pretending that you chose not to have more kids in order to preserve your privacy and sex life - sure Jan.

Why do you think people choose to have fewer kids? This is as good a reason as any -- I'd rather have an only and some privacy and a functional sex life than 3 kids and have to take a 20 year break from sex because I worry someone will walk in on me.

It does seem weird. I can’t imagine if my sister and brothers and nieces and nephews were never born because my parents wanted more privacy during sex.

If they hadn't been born you'd never know the difference.

Some people have larger houses or layouts that allow privacy and can have all the kids they want. OP is saying they never have sex because they have a small house and then filled it with children and now they have no privacy and no sex. I think that's weirder than limiting the number of kids you have in order to avoid this problem (or having to sneak down to the basement for sex). But to each their own.

Of course you would know the difference between your siblings being alive and not being alive.

DP here. No. Not if they were never conceived in the first place. Try to keep up.

[Anonymous]

We just try to get creative and it definitely gets harder when the kids are teens and are on a much different sleep schedule.

I don’t get the judgment around this topic -when and where and how often people are having sex. We absolutely, both of us, just don’t like to have sex when our teen kids are in our small home. People keep mentioning white noise machines… That’s fine but noise is sort of a big part of it for us - my husband likes to hear me. He’s pretty quiet, but he likes it when I kind of express myself. I’m not particularly loud, it’s not like I’m a screamer but if someone was upstairs at the same time they would hear us. Plus sometimes the bed shakes.

It’s just a preference thing. Could I have sex with kids next-door and do it quietly if there are no other options? Yes though I do think it would be for me to have an O.

Our solution is just wait till the kids leave the house. We both work from home at least a few times a month and try to plan it for those mornings as soon as they leave for school. And do the occasional weekends away in a hotel.

Definitely if we one of those couples that wanted to have sex every day this would probably be a problem. But we are not that couple. Kudus to all if you gettin’ it on more often though.

[Anonymous]

We never have sex when the kid is home. Ever. We both wfh on Fridays and we occasionally while she is at school (or camp). But it has been about 6 weeks, which is not an unusual frequency for us….

[Anonymous]

We just close the door and don’t worry about it. Our kids are teens and they know where they came from and how it happened. They also see their parents being very nice to each other and showing affection for each other so the odds are high that they know we have a love life. We do keep the noise down which is our one consideration which may be one reason I love hotel sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: all decent suggestions barring shower sex. Great in theory, in practice its like two seals slipping around an empty tank.

I had no clue that open doors were a fire hazard. GTK.

Regarding the lock, I could hypothetically install a lock, but its the principle. It is something I need to feel comfortable. My husband doesn't care if the kids walk in on us. If he wants more sex, he should do it.

Why are you looking for excuses to avoid having sex with your husband?

Why not just divorce him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Doors need to be closed- its a fire safety measure
White noise machine for kid
Wfh day sex
Sleepovers

Your house isn't going to burn down in the 15-60 minutes you are having sex. You aren't that hot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband is on his way home for a lunch date right now.

Or, we can have a quickie after the kids go to school and before he leaves for work.

Basically any time the kids are out of the house at an activity, it's go time. The other night our 14 year old came home unexpectedly, but at least we'd locked the front door.

If it's been a while, then we'll sneak up to the third floor or down to the basement while the kids are otherwise occupied.

You do have to prioritize it. You can't be spontaneous at this stage of life.

You have something critical that the others don't: desire.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We just gave up worrying about it. Remember that in prairie days people had one room cabins and still managed to have sex. People all over the world have sex in close quarters. And if our kids overhear? Well, at least they know their middle-aged parents still enjoy a healthy sex life.

Then again, I’m one of those mothers who gives her teen daughters vibrators.

I missed the vibrator episode of Little House on the Prairie.