Bumkini

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I find troubling about it is body positivity and fashion and trends always seem to err on the side of girls and women being half naked while men are well covered.


Hmmmm…pretty convenient.

If this is feminism and body positivity and sticking it to the man, well it kind of sucks.

As for OP, I’d just let her wear it but let her know she might get some comments and looks she doesn’t like and how to handle them.

And body positivity doesn't mean you HAVE to display your body, it means you shouldn't feel ashamed of your body. Being proud of who you are and what you look like has nothing to do with whether or not you were skimpy clothes.

I agree, but teens and tweens are generally not capable of making independent decisions. All my 13-year old wants to wear is whatever she things everyone else will wear. If that's a baggy shirt, fine. If that's a crop top, fine. I think we're all blinking at reality a little bit when we say that, oh, these girls have agency and are making choices and we should support that. And I agree with PP that it's, to say the least, odd, that boys choices almost uniformly result in them wearing comfortable modest clothes, whereas girls' "choices" result in them wearing stuff that's creeping up their ass into their buttcrack. Maybe they are all choosing that as an empowered body-positive step. Or maybe some creepy old men in charge of the fashion industry have decided that's what to sell them, and they all follow along because they are terrified of being different at that age.

I have another daughter who is borderline autistic and doesn't care much what other people think, and she never chooses the thing that is creeping up her butt.

I'm not OP, and I'm not fighting this battle with my teen, but I am observing that fashion is still selling women and girls an image of themselves that is very tied to the male gaze. I just don't believe that this is the end-goal for feminism.

+1

I mean… think about it. Who are the ultimate winners in the sex positive women, anything goes ladies! movement (ahem anal and choking and all sorts of other ridiculous crap that no one will ever convince me the average woman would ever choose to do if it weren’t for societal pressure), and the birth control revolution, and the “sex work is WORK!” nonsense? Answer: MEN.

Gullible women are taking their BS hook, line, and sinker. There is a huge expanse between virginal prude and whatever is happening these days. But no, if one doesn’t agree with going to one extreme that must mean one is the other extreme.

If woman want to wear ridiculously small things, that's fine and I can see how that's freeing and whatever... but you should not be naive about what men are thinking. And it's nothing you would ever want to do anything to encourage anyone ever to think about your daughter. So, celebrate the freedom that you CAN wear anything, but please, please think twice before you let your daughters do it.

Op here. Thank you. DD is our first child and we are navigating this. She is a cute kid with a muscular body gained through her activities. She likes boys and has been on dates (supervised ) but she still has a baby tooth and still likes to hug her teddy as she falls asleep.
I was hoping that coming here would help and thankfully it has. We were looking for experienced folks to give us insight. I didn't expect to get into a gender battle. I don't even think it is necessary to do so.

She’s 15 and you are treating her like a baby and behaving poorly. Bringing up sex offenders is unreal. Raising her to feel like her clothes demean her and could get her assaulted?!? Yuck

Mom of 14, 18, and 22yr old girls

There's a major difference between saying "it's your fault you got assaulted because you wore something revealing" and saying "you need to careful".

People do form opinions of you based on what you aware, they do treat you differently because of what you wear and we, as humans, care very much about that. It's why you don't go to work with stains on your shirt and why you didn't wear sweatpants to your wedding. Or a thong.

The best case scenario is for people to see her in a thong and think, "She has an amazing body!" Have your daughter ask herself how many people she really wants to be drawing this conclusion about her... when you go to work, you're not hoping anyone at work thinks "she has an amazing body!" When you go to the grocery store, you're not thinking that. There are certainly some situations where that is EXACTLY the conclusion you want people to draw—encourage your daughter to deploy her outfits appropriately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I find troubling about it is body positivity and fashion and trends always seem to err on the side of girls and women being half naked while men are well covered.


Hmmmm…pretty convenient.

If this is feminism and body positivity and sticking it to the man, well it kind of sucks.

As for OP, I’d just let her wear it but let her know she might get some comments and looks she doesn’t like and how to handle them.

And body positivity doesn't mean you HAVE to display your body, it means you shouldn't feel ashamed of your body. Being proud of who you are and what you look like has nothing to do with whether or not you were skimpy clothes.

I agree, but teens and tweens are generally not capable of making independent decisions. All my 13-year old wants to wear is whatever she things everyone else will wear. If that's a baggy shirt, fine. If that's a crop top, fine. I think we're all blinking at reality a little bit when we say that, oh, these girls have agency and are making choices and we should support that. And I agree with PP that it's, to say the least, odd, that boys choices almost uniformly result in them wearing comfortable modest clothes, whereas girls' "choices" result in them wearing stuff that's creeping up their ass into their buttcrack. Maybe they are all choosing that as an empowered body-positive step. Or maybe some creepy old men in charge of the fashion industry have decided that's what to sell them, and they all follow along because they are terrified of being different at that age.

I have another daughter who is borderline autistic and doesn't care much what other people think, and she never chooses the thing that is creeping up her butt.

I'm not OP, and I'm not fighting this battle with my teen, but I am observing that fashion is still selling women and girls an image of themselves that is very tied to the male gaze. I just don't believe that this is the end-goal for feminism.

+1

I mean… think about it. Who are the ultimate winners in the sex positive women, anything goes ladies! movement (ahem anal and choking and all sorts of other ridiculous crap that no one will ever convince me the average woman would ever choose to do if it weren’t for societal pressure), and the birth control revolution, and the “sex work is WORK!” nonsense? Answer: MEN.

Gullible women are taking their BS hook, line, and sinker. There is a huge expanse between virginal prude and whatever is happening these days. But no, if one doesn’t agree with going to one extreme that must mean one is the other extreme.

If woman want to wear ridiculously small things, that's fine and I can see how that's freeing and whatever... but you should not be naive about what men are thinking. And it's nothing you would ever want to do anything to encourage anyone ever to think about your daughter. So, celebrate the freedom that you CAN wear anything, but please, please think twice before you let your daughters do it.

Op here. Thank you. DD is our first child and we are navigating this. She is a cute kid with a muscular body gained through her activities. She likes boys and has been on dates (supervised ) but she still has a baby tooth and still likes to hug her teddy as she falls asleep.
I was hoping that coming here would help and thankfully it has. We were looking for experienced folks to give us insight. I didn't expect to get into a gender battle. I don't even think it is necessary to do so.

She’s 15 and you are treating her like a baby and behaving poorly. Bringing up sex offenders is unreal. Raising her to feel like her clothes demean her and could get her assaulted?!? Yuck

Mom of 14, 18, and 22yr old girls

They could get her assaulted. You are behaving poorly. You could have just shared what you thought without putting me down. But you couldn't huh?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I find troubling about it is body positivity and fashion and trends always seem to err on the side of girls and women being half naked while men are well covered.


Hmmmm…pretty convenient.

If this is feminism and body positivity and sticking it to the man, well it kind of sucks.

As for OP, I’d just let her wear it but let her know she might get some comments and looks she doesn’t like and how to handle them.

And body positivity doesn't mean you HAVE to display your body, it means you shouldn't feel ashamed of your body. Being proud of who you are and what you look like has nothing to do with whether or not you were skimpy clothes.

I agree, but teens and tweens are generally not capable of making independent decisions. All my 13-year old wants to wear is whatever she things everyone else will wear. If that's a baggy shirt, fine. If that's a crop top, fine. I think we're all blinking at reality a little bit when we say that, oh, these girls have agency and are making choices and we should support that. And I agree with PP that it's, to say the least, odd, that boys choices almost uniformly result in them wearing comfortable modest clothes, whereas girls' "choices" result in them wearing stuff that's creeping up their ass into their buttcrack. Maybe they are all choosing that as an empowered body-positive step. Or maybe some creepy old men in charge of the fashion industry have decided that's what to sell them, and they all follow along because they are terrified of being different at that age.

I have another daughter who is borderline autistic and doesn't care much what other people think, and she never chooses the thing that is creeping up her butt.

I'm not OP, and I'm not fighting this battle with my teen, but I am observing that fashion is still selling women and girls an image of themselves that is very tied to the male gaze. I just don't believe that this is the end-goal for feminism.

+1

I mean… think about it. Who are the ultimate winners in the sex positive women, anything goes ladies! movement (ahem anal and choking and all sorts of other ridiculous crap that no one will ever convince me the average woman would ever choose to do if it weren’t for societal pressure), and the birth control revolution, and the “sex work is WORK!” nonsense? Answer: MEN.

Gullible women are taking their BS hook, line, and sinker. There is a huge expanse between virginal prude and whatever is happening these days. But no, if one doesn’t agree with going to one extreme that must mean one is the other extreme.

If woman want to wear ridiculously small things, that's fine and I can see how that's freeing and whatever... but you should not be naive about what men are thinking. And it's nothing you would ever want to do anything to encourage anyone ever to think about your daughter. So, celebrate the freedom that you CAN wear anything, but please, please think twice before you let your daughters do it.

Op here. Thank you. DD is our first child and we are navigating this. She is a cute kid with a muscular body gained through her activities. She likes boys and has been on dates (supervised ) but she still has a baby tooth and still likes to hug her teddy as she falls asleep.
I was hoping that coming here would help and thankfully it has. We were looking for experienced folks to give us insight. I didn't expect to get into a gender battle. I don't even think it is necessary to do so.

She’s 15 and you are treating her like a baby and behaving poorly. Bringing up sex offenders is unreal. Raising her to feel like her clothes demean her and could get her assaulted?!? Yuck

Mom of 14, 18, and 22yr old girls

They could get her assaulted. You are behaving poorly. You could have just shared what you thought without putting me down. But you couldn't huh?

I don't want to get between you two, but you are right, they could get her assaulted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay so I’ve spent a fair amount of time thinking about this.

Across cultures and times, the rules about what is an inappropriate level of skin exposure vary widely. Like, as far as they can possibly vary, from burka to fully nude.

The consistent part is that people object to what girls and women are wearing and blame them for the inappropriate sexual thoughts and behaviors of adult men and women.

So I generally feel that people are responsible for their own behavior, and I’m not going to draw any red lines over swimsuit bottoms. I’m going to focus on behavior, like inappropriate flirting with adult men or something like that. Like any social media posts that risk unwanted communication from adult men. If it’s just that she wants her butt cheeks out for fashion, that’s not the hill I’m going to die on.

Thank you for typing this so I didn't have to, haha.

Keeping your kid from wearing a fashionable bathing suit is not going to keep them safe from the lecherous thoughts of . . . lechers. I prefer to school my kids in the realities of the world - yes, you should be able to wear whatever you want, and I support you in that. But if some gross guy leers at you, you will have to decide what to do. If you're safely in a crowd, you can say, eff off you gross lecher, I'm 12/14/an autonomous human who didn't ask for your opinion on my body. If you're not in a safe place, get to a safe place. That's all. That's all our kids need to know to do.

We need to stop acting like other people's thoughts about our bodies and clothing matter because it makes them feel more secure in their lechery. If you have a pedophilic thoughts when you see half of a tween's butt, that's a you problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Okay so I’ve spent a fair amount of time thinking about this.

Across cultures and times, the rules about what is an inappropriate level of skin exposure vary widely. Like, as far as they can possibly vary, from burka to fully nude.

The consistent part is that people object to what girls and women are wearing and blame them for the inappropriate sexual thoughts and behaviors of adult men and women.

So I generally feel that people are responsible for their own behavior, and I’m not going to draw any red lines over swimsuit bottoms. I’m going to focus on behavior, like inappropriate flirting with adult men or something like that. Like any social media posts that risk unwanted communication from adult men. If it’s just that she wants her butt cheeks out for fashion, that’s not the hill I’m going to die on.

Thank you for typing this so I didn't have to, haha.

Keeping your kid from wearing a fashionable bathing suit is not going to keep them safe from the lecherous thoughts of . . . lechers. I prefer to school my kids in the realities of the world - yes, you should be able to wear whatever you want, and I support you in that. But if some gross guy leers at you, you will have to decide what to do. If you're safely in a crowd, you can say, eff off you gross lecher, I'm 12/14/an autonomous human who didn't ask for your opinion on my body. If you're not in a safe place, get to a safe place. That's all. That's all our kids need to know to do.

We need to stop acting like other people's thoughts about our bodies and clothing matter because it makes them feel more secure in their lechery. If you have a pedophilic thoughts when you see half of a tween's butt, that's a you problem.

If you spent some time in the mind of most of the men around you, you would have a very different opinion. Not all men are irredeemable perverts and it is not unreasonable to expect that normal, decent men should put their lechery in check... but there are a lot of not normal, not decent men and there are a lot of irredeemable perverts. And it IS your kid's problem whether or not it is their fault (it is not).

For me, the line is taken at any photos being taken. Far, far, far, far too many teens are posting far, far, far too much revealing stuff publicly and you don't want your daughter's pics ending up in the places those photos go.

[Anonymous]

I saw a few social media posts from public pools across the US recently reminding patrons that thong bottoms aren’t permitted and are unsanitary. I think eventually you’re going to see a lot more pools banning them as outside the dress code, just like wearing non swimsuit clothes like jorts or regular tees isn’t allowed in the pool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I saw a few social media posts from public pools across the US recently reminding patrons that thong bottoms aren’t permitted and are unsanitary. I think eventually you’re going to see a lot more pools banning them as outside the dress code, just like wearing non swimsuit clothes like jorts or regular tees isn’t allowed in the pool.

It IS kind of gross.

I think most of of us could agree they wouldn't want old men dragging their flabby hairy asses around the pool chairs and pool steps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's the fashion and they don't blink an eye at it just like we don't blink an eye at seeing women's ankles when in certain times and cultures it would be horrifying. As for their parents seeing them, they really don't care about that either. Why should they be embarrassed? She doesn't feel like she's flashing people. You do have problems if you find this disturbing.

Go look at a ton of pictures of competitive divers. Go to brazil. This is a you problem and not a her problem. Personally I did a double-take the first few times and now it doesn't even register as a pool norm.

You don’t need to go to Brazil they are becoming common here. Miami beaches are full of topless females with thong bottoms. I wouldn’t want a teen to wear it.

Isn’t a bumkini a wax job in the bum area?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's the fashion and they don't blink an eye at it just like we don't blink an eye at seeing women's ankles when in certain times and cultures it would be horrifying. As for their parents seeing them, they really don't care about that either. Why should they be embarrassed? She doesn't feel like she's flashing people. You do have problems if you find this disturbing.

Go look at a ton of pictures of competitive divers. Go to brazil. This is a you problem and not a her problem. Personally I did a double-take the first few times and now it doesn't even register as a pool norm.

You don’t need to go to Brazil they are becoming common here. Miami beaches are full of topless females with thong bottoms. I wouldn’t want a teen to wear it.

Isn’t a bumkini a wax job in the bum area?

Drug murders and street crime are also popular in Miami and Rio - it’s not persuasive to say teens wear thongs there.

Also, if you’ve ACTUALLY been to Brazil, you’d know that most people are not wearing thongs. They just wear normal bathing suits. The men wear more briefs, but even they were board shorts.

Stop projecting your weird fantasies on other countries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yep my 15yr old is wearing them. Thanks Shein! Honestly they’ll grow out of it and cover up as they get older so I’m kind of like, enjoy while you can! I’m not worried about sex offenders and yes, I do see grown men checking her out (gross) but we’vehad discussions about unwanted advances from boys her own age or older and this is something all women have to be aware of and keep in mind. Tale as old as time.

I’d be more worried about your child falling into the cheap fast fashion made by workers in China being treated like virtual slaves. Isn’t the problem of cheap throw away fashion being taught to high schoolers? It’s contributing to the pollution of oceans and other environmental problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm really concerned by op commenting that she told her daughter she has deep rooted issues for wanting to wear these bottoms.

Exactly. She is just trying to pass along her deep rooted issues to her poor kids. It’s disgusting. She needs therapy

Op here. I tried to relate a real issue and got flamed by NOw psychos. Thanks to the people who answered kindly. The rest of you need more therapy than you are already getting. Hubby and I are laughing our covered butt's off at ya

If you are actually the OP, you need to leave your poor daughter alone and get yourself and your “hubby” to therapy. Hopefully you are not OP or not for real.

Therapy is for lovers. Sit there and listen to someone you don't know give you advice about you! Lol. If I was a therapist, I would keep telling people they are screwed up. What's my incentive not to? So I lose business?
I had a concern about my kid and brought it up. This place is just toxic though. It's a few great and honest people amongst a plethora of trolls and lovers who have made nothing of themselves and want to bring others down.
Sad, because the idea of the forum is so good. It is people who screw it up.
If you think me being concerned of how much skin my 15 year old is showing is somehow playing into a misogynistic mindset you are nuts. I live in the real world and have concerns about it. Once again, thanks to the honest and kind replies and the rest of you can take a long walk off a short pier.
I had no idea this would become so acrimonious

If you listen to the sincere posters here and read your original post, you will hopefully begin to understand that you are playing into and exhibiting a misogynistic mindset. But if you think therapy is only for lovers (and losers?), I don’t hold out a lot of hope. It’s for all the people who want to do better in life.

I would hope all parents have standards for their children even though they will vary. The OP doesn’t want her teen daughter’s ass on full display.

These bathing suit bottoms have a small triangle in front. There are strings attached to the triangle on both sides and are attached to a strip of material in the back. The tiny strip in back ends up in the butt crack leaving the butt completely exposed. Would this be ok for your 12 year old?

The best thing about full coverage bathing suit bottoms is they protect the butt from sun damage. I can only imagine the sun damage and age spots when a teen hits their 30’s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's the fashion and they don't blink an eye at it just like we don't blink an eye at seeing women's ankles when in certain times and cultures it would be horrifying. As for their parents seeing them, they really don't care about that either. Why should they be embarrassed? She doesn't feel like she's flashing people. You do have problems if you find this disturbing.

Go look at a ton of pictures of competitive divers. Go to brazil. This is a you problem and not a her problem. Personally I did a double-take the first few times and now it doesn't even register as a pool norm.

You don’t need to go to Brazil they are becoming common here. Miami beaches are full of topless females with thong bottoms. I wouldn’t want a teen to wear it.

Isn’t a bumkini a wax job in the bum area?

Drug murders and street crime are also popular in Miami and Rio - it’s not persuasive to say teens wear thongs there.

Also, if you’ve ACTUALLY been to Brazil, you’d know that most people are not wearing thongs. They just wear normal bathing suits. The men wear more briefs, but even they were board shorts.

Stop projecting your weird fantasies on other countries.

Read the post and tell me where it says teens wear thongs in Brazil.



I hate how small the front has gotten. Women aren’t just standing there posing. They are moving around, swimming, doesn’t take much for that to move

[Anonymous]

Otoh if your butt has sun damage and liver spots, you’ll finally be safe from pervs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's the fashion and they don't blink an eye at it just like we don't blink an eye at seeing women's ankles when in certain times and cultures it would be horrifying. As for their parents seeing them, they really don't care about that either. Why should they be embarrassed? She doesn't feel like she's flashing people. You do have problems if you find this disturbing.

Go look at a ton of pictures of competitive divers. Go to brazil. This is a you problem and not a her problem. Personally I did a double-take the first few times and now it doesn't even register as a pool norm.

You don’t need to go to Brazil they are becoming common here. Miami beaches are full of topless females with thong bottoms. I wouldn’t want a teen to wear it.

Isn’t a bumkini a wax job in the bum area?

Drug murders and street crime are also popular in Miami and Rio - it’s not persuasive to say teens wear thongs there.

Also, if you’ve ACTUALLY been to Brazil, you’d know that most people are not wearing thongs. They just wear normal bathing suits. The men wear more briefs, but even they were board shorts.

Stop projecting your weird fantasies on other countries.

Read the post and tell me where it says teens wear thongs in Brazil.



I hate how small the front has gotten. Women aren’t just standing there posing. They are moving around, swimming, doesn’t take much for that to move

I meant this thong bottom …

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They are pretty trashy.

+1 NP