Rant: “you look amazing”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It bothers me so much when people make comments about my body post baby. Can we just stop this?

I have been told at least 10 times something along the lines of “you look amazing” or “did you really just have a baby?” I know they mean it as a compliment but it’s annoying.

I don’t feel amazing. I’m exhausted and struggling, so when you tell me I look amazing it feels weird because it doesn’t match how I feel.

It’s super awkward when people comment on my body. My friend’s husband made a comment and I just said “yes I just had a baby. Here she is”. I would never comment on his beer belly so why is he commenting on my stomach?

Don’t comment on anyone’s body ever, but especially a hormonal new mom. Rant over.

🙄oh get over yourself.

[Anonymous]

"Thank you"

Then you realize that people are trying to be nice to you. You clearly don't deserve it. What a self-centered shrew!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Thank you"

Then you realize that people are trying to be nice to you. You clearly don't deserve it. What a self-centered shrew!

I want to apologize. Now that I have read the other comments, I fully agree that you must be having some sort of post-partum issues and you should probably seek help. It is fully irrational to be offended by such a nice compliment. You should view your reaction as a red flag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Thank you"

Then you realize that people are trying to be nice to you. You clearly don't deserve it. What a self-centered shrew!

I want to apologize. Now that I have read the other comments, I fully agree that you must be having some sort of post-partum issues and you should probably seek help. It is fully irrational to be offended by such a nice compliment. You should view your reaction as a red flag.

Perhaps you should view your knee jerk response to tell a post partum woman that she does not deserve kindness and is a "self-centered shrew" as a red flag and ALSO seek professional help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Thank you"

Then you realize that people are trying to be nice to you. You clearly don't deserve it. What a self-centered shrew!

I want to apologize. Now that I have read the other comments, I fully agree that you must be having some sort of post-partum issues and you should probably seek help. It is fully irrational to be offended by such a nice compliment. You should view your reaction as a red flag.

Perhaps you should view your knee jerk response to tell a post partum woman that she does not deserve kindness and is a "self-centered shrew" as a red flag and ALSO seek professional help.

It is a good point. I am just really upset about people who are so self-centered that they view common compliments as offensive. It not only brings negativity to the world in general, but it chills people from being nice. I hadn't considered that maybe the new mom was generally a wonderful person who appreciates people being nice to her but is currently suffering from mental illness.

[Anonymous]

I don't like. I am aware I still look 2nd trimester PG, thanks. Comment on the baby's looks and leave me out of it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, get over yourself. Sorry people are making an effort to be nice to you. My grandma's comment to me at my baby shower was: "Wow, you are just big all over. Not just your belly but your ankles, your neck, your head. Wow." Why not just accept the good intentions and move on?

Not to me, but I heard, "I didn't know your @ss was pregnant." At least that's funny.

[Anonymous]

OP, why don't you just stay home? You sound anti-social and easily annoyed by people. I had a baby seven months ago and loved all the compliments!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Thank you"

Then you realize that people are trying to be nice to you. You clearly don't deserve it. What a self-centered shrew!

I want to apologize. Now that I have read the other comments, I fully agree that you must be having some sort of post-partum issues and you should probably seek help. It is fully irrational to be offended by such a nice compliment. You should view your reaction as a red flag.

Perhaps you should view your knee jerk response to tell a post partum woman that she does not deserve kindness and is a "self-centered shrew" as a red flag and ALSO seek professional help.

It is a good point. I am just really upset about people who are so self-centered that they view common compliments as offensive. It not only brings negativity to the world in general, but it chills people from being nice. I hadn't considered that maybe the new mom was generally a wonderful person who appreciates people being nice to her but is currently suffering from mental illness.

Canned generic superficial comments are not "nice".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, why don't you just stay home? You sound anti-social and easily annoyed by people. I had a baby seven months ago and loved all the compliments!

You remind me of my mom when I complained about street harassment. "When you're old you'll look back fondly on it." Well I'm 40 and I'm still waiting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Thank you"

Then you realize that people are trying to be nice to you. You clearly don't deserve it. What a self-centered shrew!

I want to apologize. Now that I have read the other comments, I fully agree that you must be having some sort of post-partum issues and you should probably seek help. It is fully irrational to be offended by such a nice compliment. You should view your reaction as a red flag.

Perhaps you should view your knee jerk response to tell a post partum woman that she does not deserve kindness and is a "self-centered shrew" as a red flag and ALSO seek professional help.

It is a good point. I am just really upset about people who are so self-centered that they view common compliments as offensive. It not only brings negativity to the world in general, but it chills people from being nice. I hadn't considered that maybe the new mom was generally a wonderful person who appreciates people being nice to her but is currently suffering from mental illness.

Literally OP said in her post that she was hormonal and that was one of the reasons she wasn't liking the comments.

Are you currently postpartum? Are you currently very hormonal? If no, there was absolutely no cause to call OP names and tell her she doesn't deserve kindness. Your response was MUCH more unreasonable than OP's, even if OP's argument is debatable (some people like this, some people hate it, the truth is that the postpartum period can kind of suck and you need to give women going through it some grace).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Thank you"

Then you realize that people are trying to be nice to you. You clearly don't deserve it. What a self-centered shrew!

I want to apologize. Now that I have read the other comments, I fully agree that you must be having some sort of post-partum issues and you should probably seek help. It is fully irrational to be offended by such a nice compliment. You should view your reaction as a red flag.

Perhaps you should view your knee jerk response to tell a post partum woman that she does not deserve kindness and is a "self-centered shrew" as a red flag and ALSO seek professional help.

It is a good point. I am just really upset about people who are so self-centered that they view common compliments as offensive. It not only brings negativity to the world in general, but it chills people from being nice. I hadn't considered that maybe the new mom was generally a wonderful person who appreciates people being nice to her but is currently suffering from mental illness.

Canned generic superficial comments are not "nice".

Why are you assuming that it is canned and generic? I would assume, if 10 people said it, that OP looks pretty good. On the other hand, I fully fully disagree with your premise. Try to bring good in the world. Compliment everyone you see. For most people, it brings a ton of joy. People like you are just there to make life harder for everyone, especially yourself. Learn to take a compliment. Then learn to give them. Frequently!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Thank you"

Then you realize that people are trying to be nice to you. You clearly don't deserve it. What a self-centered shrew!

I want to apologize. Now that I have read the other comments, I fully agree that you must be having some sort of post-partum issues and you should probably seek help. It is fully irrational to be offended by such a nice compliment. You should view your reaction as a red flag.

Perhaps you should view your knee jerk response to tell a post partum woman that she does not deserve kindness and is a "self-centered shrew" as a red flag and ALSO seek professional help.

It is a good point. I am just really upset about people who are so self-centered that they view common compliments as offensive. It not only brings negativity to the world in general, but it chills people from being nice. I hadn't considered that maybe the new mom was generally a wonderful person who appreciates people being nice to her but is currently suffering from mental illness.

Canned generic superficial comments are not "nice".

This. A lot of people who say this are just checking a box. It's like the postpartum version of "I'm sorry for your loss." You just had a baby? You look great! It doesn't mean anything.

OP is likely reacting negatively to it because of postpartum hormones (which is not a criticism of OP and actually the primary reason you should be thoughtful what you say to someone who just had a baby -- their hormones make them very sensitive), but the people defending this as some wonderful kindness people bestow on new moms? No. It's just something people say because they don't know what else to say. Most of the time people do NOT mean it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Thank you"

Then you realize that people are trying to be nice to you. You clearly don't deserve it. What a self-centered shrew!

I want to apologize. Now that I have read the other comments, I fully agree that you must be having some sort of post-partum issues and you should probably seek help. It is fully irrational to be offended by such a nice compliment. You should view your reaction as a red flag.

Perhaps you should view your knee jerk response to tell a post partum woman that she does not deserve kindness and is a "self-centered shrew" as a red flag and ALSO seek professional help.

It is a good point. I am just really upset about people who are so self-centered that they view common compliments as offensive. It not only brings negativity to the world in general, but it chills people from being nice. I hadn't considered that maybe the new mom was generally a wonderful person who appreciates people being nice to her but is currently suffering from mental illness.

Canned generic superficial comments are not "nice".

Why are you assuming that it is canned and generic? I would assume, if 10 people said it, that OP looks pretty good. On the other hand, I fully fully disagree with your premise. Try to bring good in the world. Compliment everyone you see. For most people, it brings a ton of joy. People like you are just there to make life harder for everyone, especially yourself. Learn to take a compliment. Then learn to give them. Frequently!

DP but I am very in favor of more compliments but also think it's good to steer clear of compliments about someone's body, as a rule. As this thread makes clear, some people like it and some people don't. You can be mad about this, but it won't change.

I think it's way better to pay a compliment like "aw, you are so good with him" or "I love that color on you" or something unrelated to their body or physical appearance. You are just less likely to offend. I know some people want the body compliments but to me it's not worth setting someone off or triggering some body image issues, so I just look for kind things to say that are unrelated to someone's body/physical appearance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, why don't you just stay home? You sound anti-social and easily annoyed by people. I had a baby seven months ago and loved all the compliments!

You remind me of my mom when I complained about street harassment. "When you're old you'll look back fondly on it." Well I'm 40 and I'm still waiting.

Yeah street harassment by leering men and complimenting a post partum mom are totally the same thing.