Rant: “you look amazing”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, I can't stand people like you, OP, not being able to handle kindness and compliments. Your post sounds like a humble-brag disguised as a feminist rant.

The point is that it's not kindness. It is not kind to tell someone how great they look even when they are telling you that they don't feel right.

And also sometimes there's an expectation that goes long with "you look amazing." A lot of people expect new mothers to be happy and are angry when they are not -- there is still a pervasive cultural belief that a woman with a baby has achieved the apex of female life achievement, and therefore she better be happy. Despite greater awareness around PPD and maternal mental health issues. Sometimes people still get mad at postpartum women for not being content. "You look amazing" can also come with this pressure to be happy and have no complaints.

OP, you are setting impossible expectations for ordinary human interaction. If you think you are surrounded by misogynistic villains every time someone looks for something positive to say, you have a problem. Get off DCUM, take a breath, and go see a doctor. You're only hurting yourself.

This is the most on point response in this whole thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just let it go. You probably don't look all that amazing.But people are trying to be nice to you.

Why don't you say something like thanks, I don't feel so amazing and tell them how you Are actually doing

I’ve had three kids and lose weight quickly postpartum and am small to begin with. And I got these comments a lot. People mean well so you can try to educate them about not comments on other people’s bodies or you can say thanks. I would try to pay it forward and not comment on others’ bodies in any context. At least that’s what I do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just let it go. You probably don't look all that amazing.But people are trying to be nice to you.

Why don't you say something like thanks, I don't feel so amazing and tell them how you Are actually doing

I’ve had three kids and lose weight quickly postpartum and am small to begin with. And I got these comments a lot. People mean well so you can try to educate them about not comments on other people’s bodies or you can say thanks. I would try to pay it forward and not comment on others’ bodies in any context. At least that’s what I do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mother in law just kept talking and talking about how big my boobs were. That was fun!

She was probably awkwardly trying to let you know that you weren’t wearing the correct size top and your boobs were on display.

It is hilarious that you tried to twist this into being okay and find a way for PP to be at fault. Amazing.

I get it, people are awkward and weird and don't know what to say and have poor manner and sort of mean well but don't put much thought into how to actually do well. Truly, I do. But we don't have to twist ourselves into pretzels to defend it. I can have empathy for the fact that SO MANY people have absolutely atrocious manners, don't understand simply rules of thumb like "hey, don't make comments on a new mom's boobs!" and so on. These poor people. It must be very stressful to go into every social situation not knowing when you might say something offensive, obnoxious, inappropriate, or rude. How awful. Really,my heart goes out to you.

But I'm not going to pretend it's okay. Do better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mother in law just kept talking and talking about how big my boobs were. That was fun!

She was probably awkwardly trying to let you know that you weren’t wearing the correct size top and your boobs were on display.

It is hilarious that you tried to twist this into being okay and find a way for PP to be at fault. Amazing.

I get it, people are awkward and weird and don't know what to say and have poor manner and sort of mean well but don't put much thought into how to actually do well. Truly, I do. But we don't have to twist ourselves into pretzels to defend it. I can have empathy for the fact that SO MANY people have absolutely atrocious manners, don't understand simply rules of thumb like "hey, don't make comments on a new mom's boobs!" and so on. These poor people. It must be very stressful to go into every social situation not knowing when you might say something offensive, obnoxious, inappropriate, or rude. How awful. Really,my heart goes out to you.

But I'm not going to pretend it's okay. Do better.

Anyone who ends a self-righteous rant about BS made up problems with “Do better.” is an immature fool.