If you grew up poor…

[Anonymous]

Grilled cheese are delicious.
The government cheese was the best as a kid. Everybody gave my mom theirs

[Anonymous]

I keep sabotaging myself and runnning into crazy debt. Closing my eyes to see how it works out. It’s pretty bad.

[Anonymous]

I don’t trust people. I think everyone is going to steal from me if given the opportunity. I hide things that are irreplaceable and my purse if someone is coming over. I always lock the doors.
Until veyr recently, I had could not spend money on good food. I’d feed my kids crap in the winter because out of season fruit was too expensive even though I can easily afford it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: - I always have batteries at home.
- I have too much money set aside for a rainy day.
- I always want to steal mini coffee creamers (but don't anymore)
- I agree about shoes. Warm toes in the winter are important.
- Store brands rule!

Op here. I forgot about batteries! Yes! We have every kind at all times. Batteries were such a Luxury as a kid. In fact I remember my favorite toy running out of batteries and having to wait 6 months for new ones. I never want my kids to experience that. Mini coffee creamers for you-mini shampoo and conditioner bottles for me. Have to constantly tell myself that we don’t need to take it.

Me too, me too. So many unused toys because no one ever bought batteries!

I will never be so rich that I stop taking mini shampoos and conditioners from hotels.
- PP

Same girl

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of mine are food related:

EVERYONE gets a drink at a restaurant. Kids want a Shirley Temple? Fine. Get a refill!

We don’t often WANT it, but dessert is an option that’s always on the table. Same with appetizers.

I will splurge on expensive spaghetti sauce and nicer pasta. I buy REAL Parmesan. I spend a small fortune on good EVOO. We buy the expensive ice cream. We eat some form of meat almost every single day. I buy giant roasts or steaks for the weekend. Quality cheeses, fancy crackers, nice cured meats. Things like that.

But I also panic like you about “worst case scenarios”. I have a number I like to keep in savings and I panic if something take us below it.

This one resonated for me.
We were not super poor but grew up in TX knowing we were on a strict budget.
When we had ice cream in the house, it was this cheap Borden brand, but I had a friend whose mom splurged on Blue Bell, which was the gold standard in Texas. I was in awe.
Buying Blue Bell ice cream always makes me feel like I’ve hit the big time!

Blue Bell FTW!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oddly, how much money you have doesn't seem to be correlated with how poor/rich you feel. My parents didn't have much starting out but we never noticed, we had whatever we needed, we were happy with less by today's standards. Now I have more money than they did, but feel poor. On paper I'm rich but can't afford to buy a home in this area.

If you always had everything you needed that’s all that mattered. Many of us grew up severely poor and did not in fact have everything we needed. And renting is just fine. I mean, my parents never owned a home when I was growing up and still don’t.

It’s not a need, but I never got yearbooks growing up because my parents couldn’t afford them. I asked for a yearbook every year. I got a job when I was 16 so I was able to get one my junior and senior year at least. I get my kids yearbooks every year.

See, yearbook is not a need. They didn't even exist in many countries. Few people owned their homes. Owning it was not a must as long as you have a home. Your 'severely poor' is not poor at all.
You were brave enough to ask for a year book every year. How does a severely poor kid even ask something like that? You could have collected can to make it happen.
I got my first summer job at 9. And worked summer jobs every year after that. I don't consider it poor. In US, the poor get a job at 16. Love it. This is late even for US.

[Anonymous]

I grew up comfortable, but both parents told countless stories of hardship during the Depression & WWII. I embarrass wife & adult kids by wearing clothes that are falling apart & have food stains on them. My father died 20 yrs ago & I still wear some of his clothes. I’m in mid 60s & it drives me crazy to buy clothes I think I won’t live long enough to completely wear out.

I save up clothes that are on their last legs, & wear them whenever I travel (for a funeral or wedding—I never take an actual “vacation “), I wear them one last time & throw them away, so I’m not lugging around dirty clothes.

[Anonymous]

I can’t/don’t wear rain gear because I feel like a little rain never hurt anyone. An umbrella seems so unnecessary.

[Anonymous]

I can’t throw away food. I was never hungry but saw my mom not eat to make sure we had enough.
I’m anal about paying my utilities bill..the trauma of disconnections haunt me.
I don’t care about name brand.
I buy way too much clothes for my daughters.
I maintain an excel budget and update it monthly, I know where every cent goes.

[Anonymous]

One of my closest friends grew up in extreme poverty in upstate NY. Literally homeless at times. Abusive (verbally) parents, etc....she left at 17 and never went back. She was very self determined. She eventually saved to start college at a CC.
Eventually transferred to a top tier school and today runs her own business which has the potential to be bought out in a few years. A true success story. I always tell her that she should sell her story, would make an incredible movie. her husband is also very successful in his own right.
To this day, she says she is very frugal when it comes to every day things (mindful of grocery prices, buys clothes on sale, etc...) she says these are habits she cannot break. I have witnessed this several times. Which is not necessarily a bad thing. Her husband however would like to see her treat herself a bit better with an occasional splurge as she's worked so hard, but she cannot seem to do that which she admits. If she loses something, she goes out of her mind. Haste not waste.
Overall I think her background characterized the resilience she has today. The fortitude to be a strong successful woman standing on her own two feet. I am in constant awe of how she has risen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But you are not now, what are some things you do that you know are directly related to how you grew up?

Me: 1.if clothes have any holes or stains they go right in the trash or get used for cleaning rags. I had to wear clothes until they quite literally fell apart as a child and now have an aversion to the thought of wearing clothes in disrepair.
2. Consistently working through “worst case scenario” for every financial situation even if it’s hypothetical. Worst case scenario was often a reality growing up and honestly it’s just how my brain is wired now.
3. Buying store brand of most things. We rarely got name brand groceries/cleaning supplies etc…growing up but with experience I have learned that there is only a difference in quality in few items-mostly still buy store brand even though can afford to not.
4. Making sure my kids have actual brand name shoes. It’s seems so stupid but growing up I ALWAYS had Payless/k mart/walk at shoes and kids know. They just know. Did not having name brand shoes growing up make me a better person? No it didn’t-it just made me have to deal with teasing from other kids on the regular about my cheap shoes.
5. Still have a taste for cheap foods I grew up with. Rice/beans, grilled cheese etc…and eat them pretty regularly.

Buy a new car frequently. Remembering what it was like to have our car die in the middle of an intersection, or not know that it would start in the morning was one of the aspects of chaos that really got to me. Luckily my husband has some of the same memories, so he is on board. No used or 10 year old cars.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up comfortable, but both parents told countless stories of hardship during the Depression & WWII. I embarrass wife & adult kids by wearing clothes that are falling apart & have food stains on them. My father died 20 yrs ago & I still wear some of his clothes. I’m in mid 60s & it drives me crazy to buy clothes I think I won’t live long enough to completely wear out.

I save up clothes that are on their last legs, & wear them whenever I travel (for a funeral or wedding—I never take an actual “vacation “), I wear them one last time & throw them away, so I’m not lugging around dirty clothes.

I grew up poor, but there is no need to wear stained and "falling apart" clothes. Go to the thrift store and find something decent. If I was your wife, I would be tossing these things in the trash.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up comfortable, but both parents told countless stories of hardship during the Depression & WWII. I embarrass wife & adult kids by wearing clothes that are falling apart & have food stains on them. My father died 20 yrs ago & I still wear some of his clothes. I’m in mid 60s & it drives me crazy to buy clothes I think I won’t live long enough to completely wear out.

I save up clothes that are on their last legs, & wear them whenever I travel (for a funeral or wedding—I never take an actual “vacation “), I wear them one last time & throw them away, so I’m not lugging around dirty clothes.

I grew up poor, but there is no need to wear stained and "falling apart" clothes. Go to the thrift store and find something decent. If I was your wife, I would be tossing these things in the trash.

My DH wears “falling apart” stuff not because he was poor, but because he finds it comfortable. I would love to throw it all away, but I won’t—because if you respect your partner you don’t “toss” things they choose to keep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up UMC and somehow that made me not care at all about brand names. I think quality shoes are always worth it, though. And I ate soooo much grilled cheese growing up, definitely not a “poor” thing!

I’m glad you were able to turn things around for yourself.

I grew up UMC and it taught me that some expensive brands (not all) are worth the price. I can see it in my kid's clothing as well. So I don't buy a brand because I want someone to see me wearing X, I buy that brand because I know it'll hold up well, launder well, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm opposite you on clothes, OP. I wear and use things until they fall apart. DH just picked up my nail clipper and asked how old it was, because he claimed it looked worn. I got it around 12 or 13. He went to Target that week and got me a new one. I'm 46. He also nearly fell over when he found out my lip balms were about 5 or 6 years old. He bought me four new ones on that same Target trip and threw out my old ones. I only JUST last year got rid of the last of the white socks I had for gym in high school. I'm 47. When I finish a tissue box, I then use the box for trash before throwing it out. Still quite frugal, still take excellent care of everything I have because I appreciate everything I have so much.

I'm...confused.

Ha, you must not be in your mid-40's because I honestly don't care how old I am right now. I'm 40-something so I'm older than 40 and younger than 50. Not PP by the way, but I have totally given the wrong age or had to think about it for a minute now.