If you grew up poor…

[Anonymous]

I literally wear my clothes that are torn and ratty and have lots of holes. My pjs look like they've been run over by a few trucks. It's because I don't think I deserve any better.

[Anonymous]

Wow! This is interesting.

[Anonymous]

We grew up poor. We’re not rich now but not poor. I still only order water in a restaurant and I get a lot of clothes from the thrift store for myself annd my kid even though I can afford new, I can’t justify it.

Where I spend now is on my kid. I missed out on activities as a child because of money and I knew I couldn’t ask. I never want my kid to feel like that so if she wants to do a sport or go somewhere I make it happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most of mine are food related:

EVERYONE gets a drink at a restaurant. Kids want a Shirley Temple? Fine. Get a refill!

We don’t often WANT it, but dessert is an option that’s always on the table. Same with appetizers.

I will splurge on expensive spaghetti sauce and nicer pasta. I buy REAL Parmesan. I spend a small fortune on good EVOO. We buy the expensive ice cream. We eat some form of meat almost every single day. I buy giant roasts or steaks for the weekend. Quality cheeses, fancy crackers, nice cured meats. Things like that.

But I also panic like you about “worst case scenarios”. I have a number I like to keep in savings and I panic if something take us below it.

We were separated at birth.

My dad used to stretch salad dressing but putting a few tablespoons of tap water in the bottle just as it was getting empty. He'd shake it up and pretend it was still good. My kids won't ever have diluted dressing.

[Anonymous]

I'm opposite you on clothes, OP. I wear and use things until they fall apart. DH just picked up my nail clipper and asked how old it was, because he claimed it looked worn. I got it around 12 or 13. He went to Target that week and got me a new one. I'm 46. He also nearly fell over when he found out my lip balms were about 5 or 6 years old. He bought me four new ones on that same Target trip and threw out my old ones. I only JUST last year got rid of the last of the white socks I had for gym in high school. I'm 47. When I finish a tissue box, I then use the box for trash before throwing it out. Still quite frugal, still take excellent care of everything I have because I appreciate everything I have so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most of mine are food related:

EVERYONE gets a drink at a restaurant. Kids want a Shirley Temple? Fine. Get a refill!

We don’t often WANT it, but dessert is an option that’s always on the table. Same with appetizers.

I will splurge on expensive spaghetti sauce and nicer pasta. I buy REAL Parmesan. I spend a small fortune on good EVOO. We buy the expensive ice cream. We eat some form of meat almost every single day. I buy giant roasts or steaks for the weekend. Quality cheeses, fancy crackers, nice cured meats. Things like that.

But I also panic like you about “worst case scenarios”. I have a number I like to keep in savings and I panic if something take us below it.

The meat hit home. We NEVER had meat growing up. If we did, it was canned chicken, those canned beef Chinese chow mein dishes, or canned tuna. And Spam. Or cubed steak. I didn’t have a real steak or actual chicken breast until I was in my late teens.

We also eat a ton of quality meat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm opposite you on clothes, OP. I wear and use things until they fall apart. DH just picked up my nail clipper and asked how old it was, because he claimed it looked worn. I got it around 12 or 13. He went to Target that week and got me a new one. I'm 46. He also nearly fell over when he found out my lip balms were about 5 or 6 years old. He bought me four new ones on that same Target trip and threw out my old ones. I only JUST last year got rid of the last of the white socks I had for gym in high school. I'm 47. When I finish a tissue box, I then use the box for trash before throwing it out. Still quite frugal, still take excellent care of everything I have because I appreciate everything I have so much.

I didn’t grow up poor but I don’t replace things that still work just b/c they’re old (nail clipper). And, I would never throw away lip balm unless it was all used up. Lip balm doesn’t expire LOL. I still have one sweater from HS because it’s good quality and fits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm opposite you on clothes, OP. I wear and use things until they fall apart. DH just picked up my nail clipper and asked how old it was, because he claimed it looked worn. I got it around 12 or 13. He went to Target that week and got me a new one. I'm 46. He also nearly fell over when he found out my lip balms were about 5 or 6 years old. He bought me four new ones on that same Target trip and threw out my old ones. I only JUST last year got rid of the last of the white socks I had for gym in high school. I'm 47. When I finish a tissue box, I then use the box for trash before throwing it out. Still quite frugal, still take excellent care of everything I have because I appreciate everything I have so much.

I'm...confused.

[Anonymous]

Nothing material from the childhood even though we were poor. Not a big deal because everyone was poor around us. The whole country was poor for decades.
Basics needs were met. As far as I know, we all laugh about it now. It really helps not to see/know about the richer people and want what they have.
Domestic violence was big when I was growing up. It still shakes me up when I see children having to be in the middle of it. Since I was that child, material things pale in comparison wanting calm home.

[Anonymous]

My favorite thing is to wander around the mall. Growing up I never got new clothes, only stuff from garage sales. We were indeed poor, but we weren’t so poor I couldn’t have had a few new items—but my mother hoarded what money we did have. When I went to prom she insisted I get a used dress from a place that sold used bridesmaid dresses. I picked the least awful one. I longed for the dresses at the mall; coveted the Gunne Sax dresses. To me the mall was everything I didn’t and couldn’t have. It was an amazing place full of everything I could ever want. Today I can buy whatever I want, but I usually just wander around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of mine are food related:

EVERYONE gets a drink at a restaurant. Kids want a Shirley Temple? Fine. Get a refill!

We don’t often WANT it, but dessert is an option that’s always on the table. Same with appetizers.

I will splurge on expensive spaghetti sauce and nicer pasta. I buy REAL Parmesan. I spend a small fortune on good EVOO. We buy the expensive ice cream. We eat some form of meat almost every single day. I buy giant roasts or steaks for the weekend. Quality cheeses, fancy crackers, nice cured meats. Things like that.

But I also panic like you about “worst case scenarios”. I have a number I like to keep in savings and I panic if something take us below it.

The meat hit home. We NEVER had meat growing up. If we did, it was canned chicken, those canned beef Chinese chow mein dishes, or canned tuna. And Spam. Or cubed steak. I didn’t have a real steak or actual chicken breast until I was in my late teens.

We also eat a ton of quality meat.

Pp from 17:30. We had spam and cubed steak too — I hate cube steak! When my mom brought chicken she got chicken backs and cooked them as if they were regular chicken pieces. She covered them in flour, baked them, and called it “chicken shake-n-bake.” We knew it wasn’t shake n bake like in a regular house, lol.

[Anonymous]

We were poor for the first 10 years of my life, but those years had an affect on me for sure. I'm constantly fighting intrusive thoughts that we're one paycheck away from living under a bridge - could not be further from the truth but I still can't shake the notion. I hoard takeout napkins and condiments. I re-use foil when possible. I turn my ketchup bottles upside down to get the last drop.

I hate that I have such an unhealthy relationship with money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I literally wear my clothes that are torn and ratty and have lots of holes. My pjs look like they've been run over by a few trucks. It's because I don't think I deserve any better.

I was like this, too, but with love. You need therapy. Unless you are a complete ahole, abuser, criminal, you do deserve better. You worked hard; you should at least have nice PJs. They don't have to be $100, but at least get some that are comfy.

I had ratty PJs, too, but I loved them because they were super soft. DH still makes fun of those, even though I eventually threw them out like 15 yrs ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of mine are food related:

EVERYONE gets a drink at a restaurant. Kids want a Shirley Temple? Fine. Get a refill!

We don’t often WANT it, but dessert is an option that’s always on the table. Same with appetizers.

I will splurge on expensive spaghetti sauce and nicer pasta. I buy REAL Parmesan. I spend a small fortune on good EVOO. We buy the expensive ice cream. We eat some form of meat almost every single day. I buy giant roasts or steaks for the weekend. Quality cheeses, fancy crackers, nice cured meats. Things like that.

But I also panic like you about “worst case scenarios”. I have a number I like to keep in savings and I panic if something take us below it.

The meat hit home. We NEVER had meat growing up. If we did, it was canned chicken, those canned beef Chinese chow mein dishes, or canned tuna. And Spam. Or cubed steak. I didn’t have a real steak or actual chicken breast until I was in my late teens.

We also eat a ton of quality meat.

I'm not a big meat eater since I didn't eat much of it growing up, it's hard for me digest. But, when I do get meat, it's quality. Filet mignon and the like.

Shoes - oh yes.. I need comfy shoes and will pay good money for it now.

Clothes -- no, I still can't pay that much for it because I know what the markups are like. But, at least I get rid of them now if they are ratty.

I do tend to hoard things and have a hard time giving stuff up, like my clothes. I have some clothes that are 20 years old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We were poor for the first 10 years of my life, but those years had an affect on me for sure. I'm constantly fighting intrusive thoughts that we're one paycheck away from living under a bridge - could not be further from the truth but I still can't shake the notion. I hoard takeout napkins and condiments. I re-use foil when possible. I turn my ketchup bottles upside down to get the last drop.

I hate that I have such an unhealthy relationship with money.

DH made fun of me for halving our napkins. I found it to be such a waste that we would wipe our mouths once, and throw them out.

I also have a big tupperware full of takeout ketchup packets.