Wife resents me for not making a higher income

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your wife the woman who posts here once a quarter about how she'll never be able to own a home or have kids because her DH doesn't make enough?

This could be that woman posing as her husband. Sounds a little like her.

I was just going to say I bet this is that same woman.

+1 Probably running an experiment to see whether the same people who always tell her a man is not a plan and she should be the one to make more money are going to turn around and tell the DH that he’s a loser and a deadbeat who needs to step it up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife and I have the perfect relationship until it comes to money. She has always had the expectation or hope that I be the primary breadwinner and work to give her the UMC life she feels she deserves. I have worked for 9 years now and my income has gone from 50k to 300k to now 60k again. I have spent most of the past decade in low earning roles and spinning my wheels professionally.

My wife’s income has steadily increased from 40k to $120k now. She feels our incomes combined would not make for a feasible lifestyle for children. She wants me to increase my income but I truly don’t know how. I have a liberal arts education and cannot go back to be a doctor or a lawyer.

I am increasingly fed up of being told I’m not making enough and it’s effecting my marriage.

No where above leads to her “resenting” you.

She is concerned about the HHI and the costs and demands of raising a child.

You, on the other hand, are festering over your volatile erratic and now low income, versus her steady and rising income. And perceiving all sorts of odd things.

Get going and grow up Op.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You write so badly, I wouldn't want to stay married to you either, OP. What were you doing when you were making 300K, for goodness' sakes! Surely you know we'd all pounce on that - you should have elaborated.

What a loser.

Well you don’t hold back. Geez.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a liberal arts degree. I am a woman. I make 200k. I am not a doctor or a lawyer. You can do better than 60k.

What do you do?

I am an editor with a side hustle. Most is from my day job. I also am mid 40s. I hit 100k by 30 due to a lot more side work then. Now, it is flipped. I also have 725k in my own retirement. Max out every year. Liberal arts. My brother makes much much more. Also liberal arts. A liberal arts degree is not an excuse to not make money.

[Anonymous]

The OP/ Troll is full of excuses

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a liberal arts education too, cultural anthropology to be exact. I work for a tech company as an account manager and make over $300k so give me a break. You just aren’t motivated.

+1 the problem is you. You have to be incredibly passive not to make more than $60K in this world with a college degree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife and I have the perfect relationship until it comes to money. She has always had the expectation or hope that I be the primary breadwinner and work to give her the UMC life she feels she deserves. I have worked for 9 years now and my income has gone from 50k to 300k to now 60k again. I have spent most of the past decade in low earning roles and spinning my wheels professionally.

My wife’s income has steadily increased from 40k to $120k now. She feels our incomes combined would not make for a feasible lifestyle for children. She wants me to increase my income but I truly don’t know how. I have a liberal arts education and cannot go back to be a doctor or a lawyer.

I am increasingly fed up of being told I’m not making enough and it’s effecting my marriage.

Leave her before she leaves you for someone else. Set her free so she can find someone who can earn more. I’m sure she has sooooo much to bring the table.

+1

This is how I feel. Who are these "prize" wives who think they "deserve" so much more? And why can't those wives generate more income? My God, did you promise her that you would be rich? Because I don't know any grown men that do so, and I personally think YOU deserve better, OP. "In sickness and in health, for richer and poorer..."

What does she bring to the table, that she "deserves" so much? We all work hard, some are born luckier than others.

According to the women of DCUM, they are all supermodels that carry three kids on one arm, while vacuuming their 20k manse with the other arm, and cleaning top to bottom daily, all while providing fresh cooked home grown meals daily, and year round, regardless of the weather, while tilling acres of soil, all without hiring one bit of help. Pulease. IRL, they sit in bed all day watching last night's late night talk show reruns. GMAFB.

What kind of woman do these men marry, that they think they are "worth" so much? For what? To keep up with the Joneses? Let them try! On their own!

It looks like OPs spouse would not have a problem on her own since she’s bringing in 2x his salary.

But I would turn your worldview on its head.

Who do you think *isn’t* entitled to financial security before having children?

Who *isn’t* entitled to go through the risks of pregnancy without worrying that if she gets HG, needs to be on bedrest, or has other complications that make it impossible to work that she won’t be losing her health insurance?

Who isn’t entitled to recover from the physical rigors of childbirth without worrying their family can’t afford the home they live in?

This isn’t some kind of Princess fantasy— OPs wife looks like she wants the absolute bare minimum of security for herself and her child and I ask you again: who ISN’T entitled to that?

Well said. Get some hustle, OP.

Literally no one is entitled to that. Tons of people don’t have it. And it’s a terrible situation. These are must-haves for a lot of people and in an ideal world everyone would have them, but they don’t just fall in your lap as an entitlement. You have to work for them and make them happen. OP, get a grip. Your wife is right and she has a hard decision to make.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your wife the woman who posts here once a quarter about how she'll never be able to own a home or have kids because her DH doesn't make enough?

This could be that woman posing as her husband. Sounds a little like her.

I was just going to say I bet this is that same woman.

+1 Probably running an experiment to see whether the same people who always tell her a man is not a plan and she should be the one to make more money are going to turn around and tell the DH that he’s a loser and a deadbeat who needs to step it up.

d

Both are true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a liberal arts education too, cultural anthropology to be exact. I work for a tech company as an account manager and make over $300k so give me a break. You just aren’t motivated.

+1 the problem is you. You have to be incredibly passive not to make more than $60K in this world with a college degree.

It’s unusual to make 300k as an account manager, isn’t it? I don’t necessarily think 309k is easy to attain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife and I have the perfect relationship until it comes to money. She has always had the expectation or hope that I be the primary breadwinner and work to give her the UMC life she feels she deserves. I have worked for 9 years now and my income has gone from 50k to 300k to now 60k again. I have spent most of the past decade in low earning roles and spinning my wheels professionally.

My wife’s income has steadily increased from 40k to $120k now. She feels our incomes combined would not make for a feasible lifestyle for children. She wants me to increase my income but I truly don’t know how. I have a liberal arts education and cannot go back to be a doctor or a lawyer.

I am increasingly fed up of being told I’m not making enough and it’s effecting my marriage.

Leave her before she leaves you for someone else. Set her free so she can find someone who can earn more. I’m sure she has sooooo much to bring the table.

+1

This is how I feel. Who are these "prize" wives who think they "deserve" so much more? And why can't those wives generate more income? My God, did you promise her that you would be rich? Because I don't know any grown men that do so, and I personally think YOU deserve better, OP. "In sickness and in health, for richer and poorer..."

What does she bring to the table, that she "deserves" so much? We all work hard, some are born luckier than others.

According to the women of DCUM, they are all supermodels that carry three kids on one arm, while vacuuming their 20k manse with the other arm, and cleaning top to bottom daily, all while providing fresh cooked home grown meals daily, and year round, regardless of the weather, while tilling acres of soil, all without hiring one bit of help. Pulease. IRL, they sit in bed all day watching last night's late night talk show reruns. GMAFB.

What kind of woman do these men marry, that they think they are "worth" so much? For what? To keep up with the Joneses? Let them try! On their own!

It looks like OPs spouse would not have a problem on her own since she’s bringing in 2x his salary.

But I would turn your worldview on its head.

Who do you think *isn’t* entitled to financial security before having children?

Who *isn’t* entitled to go through the risks of pregnancy without worrying that if she gets HG, needs to be on bedrest, or has other complications that make it impossible to work that she won’t be losing her health insurance?

Who isn’t entitled to recover from the physical rigors of childbirth without worrying their family can’t afford the home they live in?

This isn’t some kind of Princess fantasy— OPs wife looks like she wants the absolute bare minimum of security for herself and her child and I ask you again: who ISN’T entitled to that?

Well said. Get some hustle, OP.

Literally no one is entitled to that. Tons of people don’t have it. And it’s a terrible situation. These are must-haves for a lot of people and in an ideal world everyone would have them, but they don’t just fall in your lap as an entitlement. You have to work for them and make them happen. OP, get a grip. Your wife is right and she has a hard decision to make.

Literally every woman in the overwhelming majority of the developed world is entitled to everything listed. People acting like this is some kind of Real Housewives fantasy are sick and misogynistic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife and I have the perfect relationship until it comes to money. She has always had the expectation or hope that I be the primary breadwinner and work to give her the UMC life she feels she deserves. I have worked for 9 years now and my income has gone from 50k to 300k to now 60k again. I have spent most of the past decade in low earning roles and spinning my wheels professionally.

My wife’s income has steadily increased from 40k to $120k now. She feels our incomes combined would not make for a feasible lifestyle for children. She wants me to increase my income but I truly don’t know how. I have a liberal arts education and cannot go back to be a doctor or a lawyer.

I am increasingly fed up of being told I’m not making enough and it’s effecting my marriage.

Leave her before she leaves you for someone else. Set her free so she can find someone who can earn more. I’m sure she has sooooo much to bring the table.

+1

This is how I feel. Who are these "prize" wives who think they "deserve" so much more? And why can't those wives generate more income? My God, did you promise her that you would be rich? Because I don't know any grown men that do so, and I personally think YOU deserve better, OP. "In sickness and in health, for richer and poorer..."

What does she bring to the table, that she "deserves" so much? We all work hard, some are born luckier than others.

According to the women of DCUM, they are all supermodels that carry three kids on one arm, while vacuuming their 20k manse with the other arm, and cleaning top to bottom daily, all while providing fresh cooked home grown meals daily, and year round, regardless of the weather, while tilling acres of soil, all without hiring one bit of help. Pulease. IRL, they sit in bed all day watching last night's late night talk show reruns. GMAFB.

What kind of woman do these men marry, that they think they are "worth" so much? For what? To keep up with the Joneses? Let them try! On their own!

It looks like OPs spouse would not have a problem on her own since she’s bringing in 2x his salary.

But I would turn your worldview on its head.

Who do you think *isn’t* entitled to financial security before having children?

Who *isn’t* entitled to go through the risks of pregnancy without worrying that if she gets HG, needs to be on bedrest, or has other complications that make it impossible to work that she won’t be losing her health insurance?

Who isn’t entitled to recover from the physical rigors of childbirth without worrying their family can’t afford the home they live in?

This isn’t some kind of Princess fantasy— OPs wife looks like she wants the absolute bare minimum of security for herself and her child and I ask you again: who ISN’T entitled to that?

Well said. Get some hustle, OP.

Literally no one is entitled to that. Tons of people don’t have it. And it’s a terrible situation. These are must-haves for a lot of people and in an ideal world everyone would have them, but they don’t just fall in your lap as an entitlement. You have to work for them and make them happen. OP, get a grip. Your wife is right and she has a hard decision to make.

Literally every woman in the overwhelming majority of the developed world is entitled to everything listed. People acting like this is some kind of Real Housewives fantasy are sick and misogynistic.

I don’t think you understand what “entitled” really means. Eveyone wants it. But it’s not a human right. You work for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife and I have the perfect relationship until it comes to money. She has always had the expectation or hope that I be the primary breadwinner and work to give her the UMC life she feels she deserves. I have worked for 9 years now and my income has gone from 50k to 300k to now 60k again. I have spent most of the past decade in low earning roles and spinning my wheels professionally.

My wife’s income has steadily increased from 40k to $120k now. She feels our incomes combined would not make for a feasible lifestyle for children. She wants me to increase my income but I truly don’t know how. I have a liberal arts education and cannot go back to be a doctor or a lawyer.

I am increasingly fed up of being told I’m not making enough and it’s effecting my marriage.

Leave her before she leaves you for someone else. Set her free so she can find someone who can earn more. I’m sure she has sooooo much to bring the table.

+1

This is how I feel. Who are these "prize" wives who think they "deserve" so much more? And why can't those wives generate more income? My God, did you promise her that you would be rich? Because I don't know any grown men that do so, and I personally think YOU deserve better, OP. "In sickness and in health, for richer and poorer..."

What does she bring to the table, that she "deserves" so much? We all work hard, some are born luckier than others.

According to the women of DCUM, they are all supermodels that carry three kids on one arm, while vacuuming their 20k manse with the other arm, and cleaning top to bottom daily, all while providing fresh cooked home grown meals daily, and year round, regardless of the weather, while tilling acres of soil, all without hiring one bit of help. Pulease. IRL, they sit in bed all day watching last night's late night talk show reruns. GMAFB.

What kind of woman do these men marry, that they think they are "worth" so much? For what? To keep up with the Joneses? Let them try! On their own!

It looks like OPs spouse would not have a problem on her own since she’s bringing in 2x his salary.

But I would turn your worldview on its head.

Who do you think *isn’t* entitled to financial security before having children?

Who *isn’t* entitled to go through the risks of pregnancy without worrying that if she gets HG, needs to be on bedrest, or has other complications that make it impossible to work that she won’t be losing her health insurance?

Who isn’t entitled to recover from the physical rigors of childbirth without worrying their family can’t afford the home they live in?

This isn’t some kind of Princess fantasy— OPs wife looks like she wants the absolute bare minimum of security for herself and her child and I ask you again: who ISN’T entitled to that?

Well said. Get some hustle, OP.

Literally no one is entitled to that. Tons of people don’t have it. And it’s a terrible situation. These are must-haves for a lot of people and in an ideal world everyone would have them, but they don’t just fall in your lap as an entitlement. You have to work for them and make them happen. OP, get a grip. Your wife is right and she has a hard decision to make.

Literally every woman in the overwhelming majority of the developed world is entitled to everything listed. People acting like this is some kind of Real Housewives fantasy are sick and misogynistic.

I don’t think you understand what “entitled” really means. Eveyone wants it. But it’s not a human right. You work for it.

Outside the US it is an entitlement. You can’t lose your health insurance if you can’t work anywhere in Europe. Acting like OPs spouse is demanding a luxury when she’s saying she wants what— yes— most of the world does consider a human right, is willfully dense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your wife the woman who posts here once a quarter about how she'll never be able to own a home or have kids because her DH doesn't make enough?

This could be that woman posing as her husband. Sounds a little like her.

Does she also not know how to spell?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife and I have the perfect relationship until it comes to money. She has always had the expectation or hope that I be the primary breadwinner and work to give her the UMC life she feels she deserves. I have worked for 9 years now and my income has gone from 50k to 300k to now 60k again. I have spent most of the past decade in low earning roles and spinning my wheels professionally.

My wife’s income has steadily increased from 40k to $120k now. She feels our incomes combined would not make for a feasible lifestyle for children. She wants me to increase my income but I truly don’t know how. I have a liberal arts education and cannot go back to be a doctor or a lawyer.

I am increasingly fed up of being told I’m not making enough and it’s effecting my marriage.

Leave her before she leaves you for someone else. Set her free so she can find someone who can earn more. I’m sure she has sooooo much to bring the table.

+1

This is how I feel. Who are these "prize" wives who think they "deserve" so much more? And why can't those wives generate more income? My God, did you promise her that you would be rich? Because I don't know any grown men that do so, and I personally think YOU deserve better, OP. "In sickness and in health, for richer and poorer..."

What does she bring to the table, that she "deserves" so much? We all work hard, some are born luckier than others.

According to the women of DCUM, they are all supermodels that carry three kids on one arm, while vacuuming their 20k manse with the other arm, and cleaning top to bottom daily, all while providing fresh cooked home grown meals daily, and year round, regardless of the weather, while tilling acres of soil, all without hiring one bit of help. Pulease. IRL, they sit in bed all day watching last night's late night talk show reruns. GMAFB.

What kind of woman do these men marry, that they think they are "worth" so much? For what? To keep up with the Joneses? Let them try! On their own!

It looks like OPs spouse would not have a problem on her own since she’s bringing in 2x his salary.

But I would turn your worldview on its head.

Who do you think *isn’t* entitled to financial security before having children?

Who *isn’t* entitled to go through the risks of pregnancy without worrying that if she gets HG, needs to be on bedrest, or has other complications that make it impossible to work that she won’t be losing her health insurance?

Who isn’t entitled to recover from the physical rigors of childbirth without worrying their family can’t afford the home they live in?

This isn’t some kind of Princess fantasy— OPs wife looks like she wants the absolute bare minimum of security for herself and her child and I ask you again: who ISN’T entitled to that?

Well said. Get some hustle, OP.

Literally no one is entitled to that. Tons of people don’t have it. And it’s a terrible situation. These are must-haves for a lot of people and in an ideal world everyone would have them, but they don’t just fall in your lap as an entitlement. You have to work for them and make them happen. OP, get a grip. Your wife is right and she has a hard decision to make.

Literally every woman in the overwhelming majority of the developed world is entitled to everything listed. People acting like this is some kind of Real Housewives fantasy are sick and misogynistic.

I don’t think you understand what “entitled” really means. Eveyone wants it. But it’s not a human right. You work for it.

Outside the US it is an entitlement. You can’t lose your health insurance if you can’t work anywhere in Europe. Acting like OPs spouse is demanding a luxury when she’s saying she wants what— yes— most of the world does consider a human right, is willfully dense.

So the answer to the question “who *isnt* entitled…” is: every single American. This country for better and for worse does not entitle you to health insurance, a home you can afford, or financial stability enough to raise kids to your taste.

If you don’t make these things happen and also do not choose a mate who can make them happen, as OP did not, you suffer the consequences.

Either don’t have kids until you can afford the setup, or they and you will suffer here. This is the flip side of American opportunity., and also lower taxes than countries that do provide this as an entitlement.

[Anonymous]

If you think every human outside the US has health insurance and a roof over their head gratis I have a bridge to sell you. You clearly have no concept of the standard of living of that vast majority of humanity on this planet.