Wife resents me for not making a higher income

[Anonymous]

I wish my son would divorce his greedy wife because she too has decided he needs to make more to get her forever home and shop for junk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife and I have the perfect relationship until it comes to money. She has always had the expectation or hope that I be the primary breadwinner and work to give her the UMC life she feels she deserves. I have worked for 9 years now and my income has gone from 50k to 300k to now 60k again. I have spent most of the past decade in low earning roles and spinning my wheels professionally.

My wife’s income has steadily increased from 40k to $120k now. She feels our incomes combined would not make for a feasible lifestyle for children. She wants me to increase my income but I truly don’t know how. I have a liberal arts education and cannot go back to be a doctor or a lawyer.

I am increasingly fed up of being told I’m not making enough and it’s effecting my marriage.

Why or how would you do that in one of the best bull markets in history?

If you’re making peanuts I hope you have lots of time to volunteer, cook, clean, plan, garden, hunt, shop around for deals so you are adding more value.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bad troll post Op. one of your worst this week.

+1

[Anonymous]

No children = the two of you can divorce for any old reason. Or for no particular reason

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Divorce her. If it was the other way around, there would be an army of women cheering her up to dump your ass.

yes, divorce her. I'm sure OP making $60K/year will be so much better off being divorced, paying for his own health insurance, rent, food, childcare.

[Anonymous]

Model out your family budget with and without kids Op.

Face the facts.

[Anonymous]

My brother is a first year cop making $98k with a pension. My aunt works at a park district making $85k with a pension. My mom is a secretary for the county that makes $75k with a pension. I pay my nanny $80k. I don't agree with your wife, but if you wanted to be above $60k you could relatively easily.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My brother is a first year cop making $98k with a pension. My aunt works at a park district making $85k with a pension. My mom is a secretary for the county that makes $75k with a pension. I pay my nanny $80k. I don't agree with your wife, but if you wanted to be above $60k you could relatively easily.

not to mention that OP won't be getting much in retirement.

OP, I've been a self employed contractor for 20 years. Yes, work can dry up. So, I save save save because I know work can dry up. We can weather the ups/downs. My spouse is also a contractor.

My spouse wanted to retire last year, but we have two kids, one in college and one a sophomore, and we still need to save for college. So, spouse is biting the bullet and still working.

[Anonymous]

leave her now while your income is low.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is your wife the woman who posts here once a quarter about how she'll never be able to own a home or have kids because her DH doesn't make enough?

This could be that woman posing as her husband. Sounds a little like her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:leave her now while your income is low.

yes, because living on lower income is so much better. OP is a contractor. I'm assuming he gets health insurance through his wife.

[Anonymous]

If you are a contractor and your work has dried up, have you looked for a steady job that, even if you are only making $60K, at least gives you upward mobility, health benefits, 401K? I have this discussion with my contractor husband all the time. He thinks he's making way more on his own than he would at a company. I think he's basing the salary he thinks he would pull in on the salaries when we left his last FT job 15 years ago. And he is also not factoring in the money that he is leaving on the table for benefits that he's not receiving--it sucks as the spouse who makes a decent salary to watch so much taken out of it for healthcare, dependent care, etc. because your spouse can't take advantage of those benefits. Not to mention the fact that any retirement savings for him comes out of our pocket--no one is matching it.

But even given all of that, what I resent the most is that I feel stuck in my job options because of his situation. I always have to look for jobs with good (even if expensive) health benefits because that's our only option. He works at home and is his own boss so he has a ton of freedom to go golfing in the middle of the day or pick up the kids from school or whatever. Meanwhile, I'm stuck commuting an hour each way and dealing with traffic. And this resentment will only grow as you have kids, trust me.

So, yeah. I'm with your wife on this one. You need to figure this out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My brother is a first year cop making $98k with a pension. My aunt works at a park district making $85k with a pension. My mom is a secretary for the county that makes $75k with a pension. I pay my nanny $80k. I don't agree with your wife, but if you wanted to be above $60k you could relatively easily.

I was just thinking that I know a lot of nannies who make more than this. OP, if you want to be around kids so badly, I have an idea for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My brother is a first year cop making $98k with a pension. My aunt works at a park district making $85k with a pension. My mom is a secretary for the county that makes $75k with a pension. I pay my nanny $80k. I don't agree with your wife, but if you wanted to be above $60k you could relatively easily.

Seems like a mental health issue. Or maybe OP is just refusing to earn a decent salary to spite his wife. But most likely, bad troll.

[Anonymous]

I have a liberal arts education too, cultural anthropology to be exact. I work for a tech company as an account manager and make over $300k so give me a break. You just aren’t motivated.