Wife resents me for not making a higher income

[Anonymous]

My wife and I have the perfect relationship until it comes to money. She has always had the expectation or hope that I be the primary breadwinner and work to give her the UMC life she feels she deserves. I have worked for 9 years now and my income has gone from 50k to 300k to now 60k again. I have spent most of the past decade in low earning roles and spinning my wheels professionally.

My wife’s income has steadily increased from 40k to $120k now. She feels our incomes combined would not make for a feasible lifestyle for children. She wants me to increase my income but I truly don’t know how. I have a liberal arts education and cannot go back to be a doctor or a lawyer.

I am increasingly fed up of being told I’m not making enough and it’s effecting my marriage.

[Anonymous]

50k to 300k to 60k what kind of job is that? Any job you apply to will be equally puzzle about these big swings. How much are you really worth? It’s hard to say

[Anonymous]

What were you doing when you made 300K and why can’t you go back to that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife and I have the perfect relationship until it comes to money. She has always had the expectation or hope that I be the primary breadwinner and work to give her the UMC life she feels she deserves. I have worked for 9 years now and my income has gone from 50k to 300k to now 60k again. I have spent most of the past decade in low earning roles and spinning my wheels professionally.

My wife’s income has steadily increased from 40k to $120k now. She feels our incomes combined would not make for a feasible lifestyle for children. She wants me to increase my income but I truly don’t know how. I have a liberal arts education and cannot go back to be a doctor or a lawyer.

I am increasingly fed up of being told I’m not making enough and it’s effecting my marriage.

Leave her before she leaves you for someone else. Set her free so she can find someone who can earn more. I’m sure she has sooooo much to bring the table.

[Anonymous]

Are you in the DMV? That’s quite a variation of income that you’ve had.

I think it’s feasible that you could move up from $60k in this area. If you guys both made $100k or so, you’d have a $200k hhi which is pretty good.

What sort of work are you doing now? How old are the kids? What’s your housing situation, do you rent or own?

[Anonymous]

Your omitting a large part of the story

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife and I have the perfect relationship until it comes to money. She has always had the expectation or hope that I be the primary breadwinner and work to give her the UMC life she feels she deserves. I have worked for 9 years now and my income has gone from 50k to 300k to now 60k again. I have spent most of the past decade in low earning roles and spinning my wheels professionally.

My wife’s income has steadily increased from 40k to $120k now. She feels our incomes combined would not make for a feasible lifestyle for children. She wants me to increase my income but I truly don’t know how. I have a liberal arts education and cannot go back to be a doctor or a lawyer.

I am increasingly fed up of being told I’m not making enough and it’s effecting my marriage.

Leave her before she leaves you for someone else. Set her free so she can find someone who can earn more. I’m sure she has sooooo much to bring the table.

well, she makes double than he does, so she's bringing a lot to the table.

[Anonymous]

Is your wife the woman who posts here once a quarter about how she'll never be able to own a home or have kids because her DH doesn't make enough?

[Anonymous]

What were you doing when you made $300k?

What were her expectations of your shared goals when you married?

And she’s right, your combined income would make it unwise for her to have a kid with you. She assumes 100% of the physical AND financial risks that way.

[Anonymous]

You write so badly, I wouldn't want to stay married to you either, OP. What were you doing when you were making 300K, for goodness' sakes! Surely you know we'd all pounce on that - you should have elaborated.

What a loser.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What were you doing when you made $300k?

What were her expectations of your shared goals when you married?

And she’s right, your combined income would make it unwise for her to have a kid with you. She assumes 100% of the physical AND financial risks that way.

Self employed but work has dried up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What were you doing when you made $300k?

What were her expectations of your shared goals when you married?

And she’s right, your combined income would make it unwise for her to have a kid with you. She assumes 100% of the physical AND financial risks that way.

Self employed but work has dried up.

Self employed in what area?

[Anonymous]

Divorce her. If it was the other way around, there would be an army of women cheering her up to dump your ass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife and I have the perfect relationship until it comes to money. She has always had the expectation or hope that I be the primary breadwinner and work to give her the UMC life she feels she deserves. I have worked for 9 years now and my income has gone from 50k to 300k to now 60k again. I have spent most of the past decade in low earning roles and spinning my wheels professionally.

My wife’s income has steadily increased from 40k to $120k now. She feels our incomes combined would not make for a feasible lifestyle for children. She wants me to increase my income but I truly don’t know how. I have a liberal arts education and cannot go back to be a doctor or a lawyer.

I am increasingly fed up of being told I’m not making enough and it’s effecting my marriage.

Not enough details or facts here.

Lib arts degree people can do many things and make good money.

Unclear what industry or function your work experience or interests are in.

Unclear how you made $300k a year and now feel you “never will again.”

Unclear what YOUR goals are career or income-wise.

Unclear what YOUR financial goals are. Or your family budget and goals.

Unclear if you are a passive, reactive person or a proactive person.


Why don’t you sit down with your wife and your actual accountant and financial planner.

Also consider a career counselor or coach or talking with alums in or in adjacent companies, industries, or functions you want.


Most people DO have career goals and try to take steps towards them. These goals include working hard in one’s 20s, getting great work experience and network, and continually leveraging that for next jobs and promotions. Thus making more income and working less hours but doing higher level work, maybe managing teams, and becoming and expert in one’s area. Every trade or career or job has THAT.

[Anonymous]

Bad troll post Op. one of your worst this week.