Anyone personally know a successful man accused of domestic violence?

[Anonymous]

I think the question is whether a successful man has ever SUFFERED long term societal consequences from beating his wife.

Most of those dudes could go to jail for their crimes and half the world would be apologists for them because they “seemed so nice. There must be more to the story.”

[Anonymous]

Op your question is cringe. Is your friend’s name Scot Peterson?

[Anonymous]

BIL and now his STBXW is being charged with perjury and falsifying police report along with her mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's unfathomable to me that this happened to a couple you know and your concern is... him. WTF. He was arrested for domestic violence!! How about his poor wife and children, ie the victims??

With so many people like you out there I'm sure his reputation will be fine in no time. Ugh.

Exactly. Women were bringing my abusive ex dinners after he showed back up after a three week drinking binge where no one knew where he was.

No one offered to help me write my resume when he took all of our money and I became the breadwinner after a decade long career gap- ironically. But dang did he get fed. It was like women knew he was hapless so helped him. I was apparently considered capable and left to fend for myself while I recovered from his abuse and the years of post separation abuse that followed.

I’m so sorry. I am shocked at some people’s behaviour. It’s like men that marry literally months after their wives pass away. What is wrong with these men and the women they subsequently marry

DP. It's the same mentality, in some women (not all, some), as those who correspond with criminals who are in prison and insist the criminals are just misunderstood and/or are reforming. A craving to rescue someone. Unfortunately they wear rose-colored glasses they cannot take off and don't see that the reformed, misunderstood men are highly likely to repeat the same types of offenses.

For those posting about men who beat wives and children and then got their criminal records or charges expunged -- WTF? How? In the case of the woman whose face was black and blue, how did the man get off that charge? I'm asking seriously. What a lawyer he must have had.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the question is whether a successful man has ever SUFFERED long term societal consequences from beating his wife.

Most of those dudes could go to jail for their crimes and half the world would be apologists for them because they “seemed so nice. There must be more to the story.”

Reputation harm is hard to quantify. But once your social circle is aware, it's not like they forget it. And it's not like the accused aggressor forgets that people know. Even if the husband and wife stick together and it was a one-time thing -- which I've seen happen a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's unfathomable to me that this happened to a couple you know and your concern is... him. WTF. He was arrested for domestic violence!! How about his poor wife and children, ie the victims??

With so many people like you out there I'm sure his reputation will be fine in no time. Ugh.

Exactly. Women were bringing my abusive ex dinners after he showed back up after a three week drinking binge where no one knew where he was.

No one offered to help me write my resume when he took all of our money and I became the breadwinner after a decade long career gap- ironically. But dang did he get fed. It was like women knew he was hapless so helped him. I was apparently considered capable and left to fend for myself while I recovered from his abuse and the years of post separation abuse that followed.

I’m so sorry. I am shocked at some people’s behaviour. It’s like men that marry literally months after their wives pass away. What is wrong with these men and the women they subsequently marry

DP. It's the same mentality, in some women (not all, some), as those who correspond with criminals who are in prison and insist the criminals are just misunderstood and/or are reforming. A craving to rescue someone. Unfortunately they wear rose-colored glasses they cannot take off and don't see that the reformed, misunderstood men are highly likely to repeat the same types of offenses.

For those posting about men who beat wives and children and then got their criminal records or charges expunged -- WTF? How? In the case of the woman whose face was black and blue, how did the man get off that charge? I'm asking seriously. What a lawyer he must have had.

You do realize a husband will be arrested and booked for a mere push or grabbing a wife's wrists or anything along those lines if she calls the 911, right? "Black and blue" is very, very rare and on the extreme end of typical domestic violence calls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. They don’t siding snap in public. Was he in the underground parking lot or right in the lobby?

It was a rental ski house. She called 911 after some drunken pushing and shoving. She wanted police to get him to leave the house for the night and get a hotel room. She got more than she bargained for when they cuffed him. They were very both drunk. Nobody went to the hospital or needed an ambulance. Nobody was "black and blue" or "beat to a pulp" as some have suggested.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. They don’t siding snap in public. Was he in the underground parking lot or right in the lobby?

It was a rental ski house. She called 911 after some drunken pushing and shoving. She wanted police to get him to leave the house for the night and get a hotel room. She got more than she bargained for when they cuffed him. They were very both drunk. Nobody went to the hospital or needed an ambulance. Nobody was "black and blue" or "beat to a pulp" as some have suggested.

Preventing that outcome is why I called 911 when this happened to me. Don't minimize abuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's unfathomable to me that this happened to a couple you know and your concern is... him. WTF. He was arrested for domestic violence!! How about his poor wife and children, ie the victims??

With so many people like you out there I'm sure his reputation will be fine in no time. Ugh.

Exactly. Women were bringing my abusive ex dinners after he showed back up after a three week drinking binge where no one knew where he was.

No one offered to help me write my resume when he took all of our money and I became the breadwinner after a decade long career gap- ironically. But dang did he get fed. It was like women knew he was hapless so helped him. I was apparently considered capable and left to fend for myself while I recovered from his abuse and the years of post separation abuse that followed.

I’m so sorry. I am shocked at some people’s behaviour. It’s like men that marry literally months after their wives pass away. What is wrong with these men and the women they subsequently marry

DP. It's the same mentality, in some women (not all, some), as those who correspond with criminals who are in prison and insist the criminals are just misunderstood and/or are reforming. A craving to rescue someone. Unfortunately they wear rose-colored glasses they cannot take off and don't see that the reformed, misunderstood men are highly likely to repeat the same types of offenses.

For those posting about men who beat wives and children and then got their criminal records or charges expunged -- WTF? How? In the case of the woman whose face was black and blue, how did the man get off that charge? I'm asking seriously. What a lawyer he must have had.

You do realize a husband will be arrested and booked for a mere push or grabbing a wife's wrists or anything along those lines if she calls the 911, right? "Black and blue" is very, very rare and on the extreme end of typical domestic violence calls.

Stop minimizing. My ex left bruises that lasted for weeks, and was let off because it was a first offense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. They don’t siding snap in public. Was he in the underground parking lot or right in the lobby?

It was a rental ski house. She called 911 after some drunken pushing and shoving. She wanted police to get him to leave the house for the night and get a hotel room. She got more than she bargained for when they cuffed him. They were very both drunk. Nobody went to the hospital or needed an ambulance. Nobody was "black and blue" or "beat to a pulp" as some have suggested.

I posted about this last year. When you call 911 for a domestic violence incident, they will make an arrest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. They don’t siding snap in public. Was he in the underground parking lot or right in the lobby?

It was a rental ski house. She called 911 after some drunken pushing and shoving. She wanted police to get him to leave the house for the night and get a hotel room. She got more than she bargained for when they cuffed him. They were very both drunk. Nobody went to the hospital or needed an ambulance. Nobody was "black and blue" or "beat to a pulp" as some have suggested.

Maybe what she got was the wake up call she needed. If his level of violence was such that police officers who see violence on a regular basis, were alarmed enough to arrest him against her wishes, then she may have been in deep denial.

Did her kids see the violence? For me, the thing that finally got me out was knowing that my kids were watching and learning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's unfathomable to me that this happened to a couple you know and your concern is... him. WTF. He was arrested for domestic violence!! How about his poor wife and children, ie the victims??

With so many people like you out there I'm sure his reputation will be fine in no time. Ugh.

Exactly. Women were bringing my abusive ex dinners after he showed back up after a three week drinking binge where no one knew where he was.

No one offered to help me write my resume when he took all of our money and I became the breadwinner after a decade long career gap- ironically. But dang did he get fed. It was like women knew he was hapless so helped him. I was apparently considered capable and left to fend for myself while I recovered from his abuse and the years of post separation abuse that followed.

I’m so sorry. I am shocked at some people’s behaviour. It’s like men that marry literally months after their wives pass away. What is wrong with these men and the women they subsequently marry

DP. It's the same mentality, in some women (not all, some), as those who correspond with criminals who are in prison and insist the criminals are just misunderstood and/or are reforming. A craving to rescue someone. Unfortunately they wear rose-colored glasses they cannot take off and don't see that the reformed, misunderstood men are highly likely to repeat the same types of offenses.

For those posting about men who beat wives and children and then got their criminal records or charges expunged -- WTF? How? In the case of the woman whose face was black and blue, how did the man get off that charge? I'm asking seriously. What a lawyer he must have had.

You do realize a husband will be arrested and booked for a mere push or grabbing a wife's wrists or anything along those lines if she calls the 911, right? "Black and blue" is very, very rare and on the extreme end of typical domestic violence calls.

“a mere push” is the prelude to black & blue.

[Anonymous]

I know a doctor who was arrested for striking his wife during an argument. She called the cops, he was arrested and a lawyer got him out but he still had a mugshot. The hospital quietly dismissed him and they moved out of state. He’s still practicing and they’re still married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. They don’t siding snap in public. Was he in the underground parking lot or right in the lobby?

It was a rental ski house. She called 911 after some drunken pushing and shoving. She wanted police to get him to leave the house for the night and get a hotel room. She got more than she bargained for when they cuffed him. They were very both drunk. Nobody went to the hospital or needed an ambulance. Nobody was "black and blue" or "beat to a pulp" as some have suggested.

She did the right thing and so did the police. She was scared enough by the violence that she needed the police to get him to leave. She may have believed he would go peacefully to a hotel - but he was drunk. Do you think the police should have driven him to a hotel or let him drive himself? They needed to protect her and the kids, and they did the needed thing to PREVENT serious injuries. You’re seriously deluded to minimize this.

[Anonymous]

Geez OP will you please stop defending this guy and minimizing his actions? It’s alarming. The wife felt scared enough to call the police. I can say without a shadow of a doubt that if any man pushed and/or shoved me I sure as poop would call the cops on him. And be thrilled when they arrested him for assault. I’d just about guarantee this isn’t the first time this has happened.

Hopefully this incident will force them all to look into their behaviors, and hopefully you can reflect on your attitude about the whole thing, it’s pretty disgusting.