Anyone personally know a successful man accused of domestic violence?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And was he able to reform? How do you cleanse that reputation once news of your arrest leaks to your social circle, which includes your kids' friends' parents?

My husband's best friend from college was just arrested on a family ski trip. Both very drunk, she called the cops, he was arrested, mug shot and the whole nine. They both have great careers, they are both super sweet, he is especially hilarious, two lovely teen kids, and they are always seem so happy. My husband believes he's stressed about work, which led to too much drinking, and then whatever occurred on their trip.

Of course he has to deal with any fallout from his wife, but what about from the friends and colleagues once people start gossiping about it? I'd be totally mortified to show my face. For starters, make it clear to everyone you're never drinking again and become more devout to whatever religion you are? It gives me anxiety to even think about.

As a woman who has experienced domestic violence, the fact that you are so concerned about him, and not at all about his wife and children, is alarming.

Why aren't you worried about how this woman you describe as sweet will keep herself and those lovely children safe, and heal from what must have been a terribly traumatic event for her to call for help?

+1 I'm a survivor of childhood DV. Your concern is misplaced and alarming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And was he able to reform? How do you cleanse that reputation once news of your arrest leaks to your social circle, which includes your kids' friends' parents?

My husband's best friend from college was just arrested on a family ski trip. Both very drunk, she called the cops, he was arrested, mug shot and the whole nine. They both have great careers, they are both super sweet, he is especially hilarious, two lovely teen kids, and they are always seem so happy. My husband believes he's stressed about work, which led to too much drinking, and then whatever occurred on their trip.

Of course he has to deal with any fallout from his wife, but what about from the friends and colleagues once people start gossiping about it? I'd be totally mortified to show my face. For starters, make it clear to everyone you're never drinking again and become more devout to whatever religion you are? It gives me anxiety to even think about.

As a woman who has experienced domestic violence, the fact that you are so concerned about him, and not at all about his wife and children, is alarming.

Why aren't you worried about how this woman you describe as sweet will keep herself and those lovely children safe, and heal from what must have been a terribly traumatic event for her to call for help?

+1 I'm a survivor of childhood DV. Your concern is misplaced and alarming.

+2. He may be hilarious but he’s not super sweet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know so many successful men guilty of domestic violence. You just don’t realize it.

This…

And rape, sexual abuse, sexual harassment etc.

People hate nothing more than “ruining the life” of a promising/successful white man

He’ll be alright

Might even make it onto the Supreme Court.

[Anonymous]

Why are you asking about men

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And was he able to reform? How do you cleanse that reputation once news of your arrest leaks to your social circle, which includes your kids' friends' parents?

My husband's best friend from college was just arrested on a family ski trip. Both very drunk, she called the cops, he was arrested, mug shot and the whole nine. They both have great careers, they are both super sweet, he is especially hilarious, two lovely teen kids, and they are always seem so happy. My husband believes he's stressed about work, which led to too much drinking, and then whatever occurred on their trip.

Of course he has to deal with any fallout from his wife, but what about from the friends and colleagues once people start gossiping about it? I'd be totally mortified to show my face. For starters, make it clear to everyone you're never drinking again and become more devout to whatever religion you are? It gives me anxiety to even think about.

All you write about was being drunk and the cops came.

There won’t be much fallout from that plus it will twist up to be a hilarious story.

If you were actually answering about emotional or physical DV victims and rich, successful abusive men, I’d say yes we all know some of those or dated them ourselves. They’ll play the system and never get punished. They’ll also never stop manipulating their women, kids, friends, employees, own family.

They will protect their ego and image at all costs to a relationship. Relationships don’t matter, just they matter to themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And was he able to reform? How do you cleanse that reputation once news of your arrest leaks to your social circle, which includes your kids' friends' parents?

My husband's best friend from college was just arrested on a family ski trip. Both very drunk, she called the cops, he was arrested, mug shot and the whole nine. They both have great careers, they are both super sweet, he is especially hilarious, two lovely teen kids, and they are always seem so happy. My husband believes he's stressed about work, which led to too much drinking, and then whatever occurred on their trip.

Of course he has to deal with any fallout from his wife, but what about from the friends and colleagues once people start gossiping about it? I'd be totally mortified to show my face. For starters, make it clear to everyone you're never drinking again and become more devout to whatever religion you are? It gives me anxiety to even think about.

“Then whatever occurred”

WTF is that supposed to mean?

And why would the abuser tell his busy your husband, about it.

Just stay out of the picture. They’ll divorce once the youngest kid graduates high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“cleanse that reputation”? Really???

he can “cleanse” his reputation by admitting he needs anger management therapy and medication, attending therapy, and taking medication, and not denying what he did.

I get that. But does a man try to highlight all of that to friends and family? How do you make it known you're working on improving and it was a one-off lapse, you know? Because as some have posted here, some people assume the absolute worst and probably assume you're a crazy monster.

I knew a couple. They separated. She accused him of child abuse. They reconciled. She said she lied and wrote emails apologizing to the parents of the kids' sports teams he coached and I assume did this with family and friends. So people do do this. Also I think of celebrities like Paul Simon and wife who called police then excused him later. So there can be damage control. In saying this, I'm not excusing DV but he can probably strategies to try to save his reputation. But no one really knows the truth but the couple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes I’m married to one. We didn’t tell anyone when he was arrested. Didn’t affect his career but it deeply affected the family of course.

+1

He’s only unmasked for me, the kids and my mother & father who traveled with us a few times.

If and when we travel with other families he tries to aggravate me into an argument and call me crazy. That stopped working after two times. He looked like a lunatic having a rage attack for his parents recently on Thanksgiving. But they just acted confused and what was going on with the kids….

[Anonymous]

It's unfathomable to me that this happened to a couple you know and your concern is... him. WTF. He was arrested for domestic violence!! How about his poor wife and children, ie the victims??

With so many people like you out there I'm sure his reputation will be fine in no time. Ugh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“cleanse that reputation”? Really???

he can “cleanse” his reputation by admitting he needs anger management therapy and medication, attending therapy, and taking medication, and not denying what he did.

I get that. But does a man try to highlight all of that to friends and family? How do you make it known you're working on improving and it was a one-off lapse, you know? Because as some have posted here, some people assume the absolute worst and probably assume you're a crazy monster.

Looks like he’s already rewriting the narrative by calling his buddies, claiming work stress and drinking.

What a narcissist.

[Anonymous]

Yes. They arrested a guy on my job for assaulting his wife right at work.

[Anonymous]

Wow. They don’t siding snap in public. Was he in the underground parking lot or right in the lobby?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes I’m married to one. We didn’t tell anyone when he was arrested. Didn’t affect his career but it deeply affected the family of course.

Hope you are ok and getting your affairs sorted to be ready if anything comes

[Anonymous]

This thread is disgusting. My father abused my mother emotionally and physically for years. He has almost no consequences. First charge was dismissed without discussion with the victim. Second charge he would have gone down for but my mom was too injured to testify against him. She had brain bleeds from his abuse. He still managed to convince people she was confused and making it up.

OP- you have no idea what’s happening with this family. Have several seats.

[Anonymous]

I have a very successful family member who was accused of domestic violence, prostitution and human trafficking. Not even a blip on the radar of his life. It's nice to be rich.