MIL visiting, wants me to take PTO to sightsee

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you offer alternative dates she can come when your husband is in town?

Did you not read the OP? Her husband tried that already.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If my DH didn't shut this down, I'd book myself into a hotel and work from there for the 2 weeks.

+1
Your MIL is unjustifiably rude. There is no way she will suddenly be polite and respectful if you let her show up. I'd tell my husband I'll be out of the house before she arrives and won't be back for two weeks and he needs to deal with it. He can tell her I have a work trip or whatever, I don't care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Book a tour for her. There are various bus companies and river boat tours.

Or self-guided Tours- any of the Smithsonians or Mt. Vernon, etc.

"Betty, I purchased a 4hr ticket on the DC Tourmobile/Duck Tours/whatever. You can hop-off/hop-on or just sit the whole time. The first bus is at 9am so I'll drop you off at the pick-up stop then."

Ugggghhhhhh why do you insist on passing the torch of antifeminist forward?! Why are you not at the very least suggesting that OP’S HUSBAND do this? If you really can’t wrap your mind around telling a pushy woman who invited herself n-o, at the very least you shouldn’t be placing this burden on OP’s shoulders. THIS WOMAN IS NOT HER MOTHER, do you get it?

[Anonymous]

OP. She does not stay at your home.

[Anonymous]

Wait until it get close and say you have Covid.

[Anonymous]

No grandkids, no son. Worst time of year to visit DC area. What even is the point? Is she trying to bond with OP? Turn her into a housewife? Free housing and entertainment, sure, but does she even like hanging out with OP? Does she need a mobility aide?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yea your mother in law sounds really unreasonable but I have zero sympathy for the work from homers whose home space has become cramped with work space and can no longer comfortably accommodate guests. If you worked in an office like a normal person you wouldn’t even have to see your MIL. You’d just go to work.

Your response is bizarre

[Anonymous]

If this actually a real post and not a lame troll your DH needs to get on the phone TONIGHT and insist she cancel and insist that she confer with him before buying a ticket to visit any time in the future. There is no other option. If you concede on this do not come here complaining ever again because you’re clearly doormats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - DH is calling her tonight when he gets home and will be talking to her. This is a difficult situation - some of you make it sound so easy, but the reality is, she is his mother and as easy as it is to say online to turn her away at the door, the reality is much more difficult.

We will see what goes on tonight during the phone call.

OP, I’m monitoring to see an update. How did the call go tonight?? Rooting for you and hoping this visit gets moved to when your DH is in town (and shortened).

[Anonymous]

I am going out of town tomorrow so I need the update ASAP!

Also, the LOOP in Old Town has great working spaces. But that doesn't fix the WEEKEND which would piss me off more. Absolutely need to put an end to this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yea your mother in law sounds really unreasonable but I have zero sympathy for the work from homers whose home space has become cramped with work space and can no longer comfortably accommodate guests. If you worked in an office like a normal person you wouldn’t even have to see your MIL. You’d just go to work.

OP here. We are living here temporarily. DH's assignment ends Sept 2024. We do not need a huge house - DH has a housing 'allowance' that he gets for working here and max'ed it out with a 2 bed/2bath apartment in Arlington - we actually own a home in Arizona that my sister is living in while we are in the DC area.

Go spend two weeks with your sister and work remotely from AZ.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Book a tour for her. There are various bus companies and river boat tours.

Or self-guided Tours- any of the Smithsonians or Mt. Vernon, etc.

"Betty, I purchased a 4hr ticket on the DC Tourmobile/Duck Tours/whatever. You can hop-off/hop-on or just sit the whole time. The first bus is at 9am so I'll drop you off at the pick-up stop then."

Do not do this. Then she’ll think OP is her travel agent.

It's better option than Op being her personal tour guide each day for which she has no time for.

Scheduled tours/drop-offs will guarantee MIL is out of the house for several hours so Op can breathe and get her work done.

No, it's not a better option. It basically signals to the MIL that OP and her H will tolerate her rudeness and accommodate her imposition. It's enabling.

Seriously. WTF is wrong with you people? OP has a job. She needs to work! Why is it her problem? DH can do this. It’s his mother. Or he can cancel his trip. What a bunch of spineless enablers.

[Anonymous]

Could you travel with your DH to wherever he is working that week and simply work from that hotel?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Book a tour for her. There are various bus companies and river boat tours.

Or self-guided Tours- any of the Smithsonians or Mt. Vernon, etc.

"Betty, I purchased a 4hr ticket on the DC Tourmobile/Duck Tours/whatever. You can hop-off/hop-on or just sit the whole time. The first bus is at 9am so I'll drop you off at the pick-up stop then."

Ugggghhhhhh why do you insist on passing the torch of antifeminist forward?! Why are you not at the very least suggesting that OP’S HUSBAND do this? If you really can’t wrap your mind around telling a pushy woman who invited herself n-o, at the very least you shouldn’t be placing this burden on OP’s shoulders. THIS WOMAN IS NOT HER MOTHER, do you get it?

Un, ok, then the husband can make arrangements for guided tours on behalf of MIL if you predict Op will be nearly as upset as you are right now. Settle down.
Besides, you're missing the point. Youre replying to a post that is merely a suggestion to help find a solution to Op's problem.
Do you have a better one?

[Anonymous]

“I guess there's nothing much we can do at this point. DH told her to reschedule, that he won't be here and that I have to work. She insists on coming”

You need to call her bluff and DH needs to tell her that if she shows up you will not answer the door, because this is not a good time for the two of you and he would love to have her visit but let’s pick some dates that are acceptable for everyone. Yes of course this is going to be excruciating and of course she is going to do everything she can to get you to cave. But if you do not establish some boundaries you are going to be freaking miserable. So what if she is unhappy? Right now you are unhappy. Someone’s gonna be unhappy in the situation and it doesn’t have to be you. What she is asking is completely unacceptable. Even family does not get to just show up whenever they feel like and camp out for weeks without permission.