Parents playing with their kids at playgrounds

[Anonymous]

The trend towards intensive parenting is only going to intensify in the decades to come, which means we'll increasingly leave socialization up to the sole burden of the parents, who will have to transform themselves into children so their kids can play with a facsimile of what a child would do, because all the neighborhood kids are off playing travel soccer or at Kumon?

I can't be the only one who finds that depressing.

This isn't an individual issue, so I'm not talking about individual posters. It's a societal shift that is going to reshape life as we know it. I mean, there's lots of other stuff happening too, this is just another aspect of it.

In another few decades, there will be so few children that there will be no alternative.

[Anonymous]

Or maybe the millennial parents are remembering how sad it was to have mom and dad brush you off because theyd rather read a newspaper than play with us. Playing with our kids to fight the generational ghosts of our pasts. Being a playful engaged parent shouldn't be looked at like its ruining the children. It's objectively better for kids to have parents they trust.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cant believe parents on here would rather other parents scroll DCUM than play with their kids AND JUDGE THEM for playing with their kids?! WTAF am I reading?

If you want to be a lazy unengaged parent that's fine, but let the rest of us play with our kids if we want. Sheesh.

The problem you might be struggling with is your hypervigilant narcissism. Playing with your kids is normal behavior, e.g., in a park or a baseball field. But there are parents climbing on playground equipment and jungle gyms - that's not good parenting, that's stunted development and a rejection of "adulting."

Playing with my kid is hardly narcissistic lol. Sorry that you'd rather dump your kids off somewhere and go argue with other parents instead of engaging with them.
The OP said nothing about parents on jungle gyms, but if an adult using the monkey bars really bothers you that much you should probably just avoid the playground all together. Wouldn't want your feelings getting hurt seeing another parent actually loving their child!

Try therapy, or maybe lithium? But for sure save for your kids’ mental health needs -big bucks. Yikes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People really misconstruing what OP sand taking it personally. It’s weird seeing a bunch of kids on the playground playing with their parents instead of their peers. And these parents tend to act like helicopters/human shields.

Individual cases like parents who work and this is the only time you have with your kids—that’s understandable but not what the OP is talking about. It’s the human shield-like behavior of the parents. I guess if you go to a “normal” playground and see kids who don’t know each other mixing well with each other, you will see the difference. The parents at a normal playground are only there if the kid is a toddler and prone to falling. The helicopter parents hover there even if the kid moves around effortlessly.

Yes these parents are sometime creating a shield around their kids so nobody can get within 3 feet to pass by, go around, down the slide, or up the stairs. Parents need to get out of the way and let the other kids play on the structure meant for kids. Often the kid is too little to be on the 5-12 structure and needs to be on the littler one. Instead they are constantly reminded, blocked and harassed by the parents hovering.

[Anonymous]

I remember hating those parents who policed the slide, saying in loud sing sing voices about how you have to go down instead of using it as a ramp to go up. But what a great opportunity for kids to work things out and learn social skills if one is going up and one wants to come down. But parents seem to have a hard time letting that interaction occur naturally, but would want to intervene. They would actually claim it was a “rule”. And if your kid spun in a swing? Same thing. I hated going to the playground when my kids were little just bc of the other irritating UMC parents there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The trend towards intensive parenting is only going to intensify in the decades to come, which means we'll increasingly leave socialization up to the sole burden of the parents, who will have to transform themselves into children so their kids can play with a facsimile of what a child would do, because all the neighborhood kids are off playing travel soccer or at Kumon?

I can't be the only one who finds that depressing.

This isn't an individual issue, so I'm not talking about individual posters. It's a societal shift that is going to reshape life as we know it. I mean, there's lots of other stuff happening too, this is just another aspect of it.

In another few decades, there will be so few children that there will be no alternative.

Immediate PP here. This stuff was going on in Chevy Chase back in the early 2000s, too. It’s a class thing, I think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I remember hating those parents who policed the slide, saying in loud sing sing voices about how you have to go down instead of using it as a ramp to go up. But what a great opportunity for kids to work things out and learn social skills if one is going up and one wants to come down. But parents seem to have a hard time letting that interaction occur naturally, but would want to intervene. They would actually claim it was a “rule”. And if your kid spun in a swing? Same thing. I hated going to the playground when my kids were little just bc of the other irritating UMC parents there.

Yes and constantly telling the other kids to "watch the baby" or "be careful around the little one". So annoying. Get your 14 month old who can barely balance off the bigger kid equipment. Your kid will be big enough in no time, but not yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids do both with occasionally. They'll ask to play tag or the ground is lava. If they ask us to join, why should we say no?.... Just because you don't want to engage with your child at the playground? Some days we spend 2 hours at the playground, go home shower and go to bed. So if we didn't engage with them there we literally would have no interaction with them for the day is that we work long hours....

These threads are wild.... Who would have thought people would complain about parents actually parenting their children?.

Parenting is also letting your children learn how to play independently. I am going to assume that your kids are in daycare/aftercare/camp and are at least learning independent play and how to play with other children in those settings? Because the worst are nanny kids who don't know how to interact with other children.

*Before you call me an SAHM, I'm not, I work full-time and my kids are in camp right now.

Yes I understand kids need to plan dependently that is why I said occasionally they will ask and we play with them... Be judged for doing so Seems bizarre.

[Anonymous]

That should say play independently..... Talk to text. Messed up what I said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is one bizarre thread.

+1 I’m hoping it becomes one of the most active ones of the day though so I can read Jeff’s summary tomorrow!

[Anonymous]

Why do we insist on kids socializing with a bunch of strangers when we as adults don't do the same..... I don't go into a restaurant and start walking around talking to everyone in the place.
People tend to gravitate towards who they feel comfortable with.... My kids love to play with friends on the playground but to play with a bunch of people they don't really know. It's not their thing and I don't push it

Why must we police how other kids interact and play with their parents? Caregivers are friends on the playground. Are you mad because then your children have no one to play with? How about you invite some friends?.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Or maybe the millennial parents are remembering how sad it was to have mom and dad brush you off because theyd rather read a newspaper than play with us. Playing with our kids to fight the generational ghosts of our pasts. Being a playful engaged parent shouldn't be looked at like its ruining the children. It's objectively better for kids to have parents they trust.

What does the bolded have to do with parents playing with kids on the playground?

The OP clarified and many have agreed: it's NBD if some parents want to play with their kids on the playground. The problems arise when that's done constantly, so no kids have the opportunity to play together, and also when other parents shame those who don't play with their kids on the playground. Different parents have different strengths.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cant believe parents on here would rather other parents scroll DCUM than play with their kids AND JUDGE THEM for playing with their kids?! WTAF am I reading?

If you want to be a lazy unengaged parent that's fine, but let the rest of us play with our kids if we want. Sheesh.

The problem you might be struggling with is your hypervigilant narcissism. Playing with your kids is normal behavior, e.g., in a park or a baseball field. But there are parents climbing on playground equipment and jungle gyms - that's not good parenting, that's stunted development and a rejection of "adulting."

Playing with my kid is hardly narcissistic lol. Sorry that you'd rather dump your kids off somewhere and go argue with other parents instead of engaging with them.
The OP said nothing about parents on jungle gyms, but if an adult using the monkey bars really bothers you that much you should probably just avoid the playground all together. Wouldn't want your feelings getting hurt seeing another parent actually loving their child!

Try therapy, or maybe lithium? But for sure save for your kids’ mental health needs -big bucks. Yikes.

I'm quite sure having loving, engaging and playful parents will benefit my kids mental health far more than a "dump and run" parent. Don't forget to look up occasionally from your phone while you're ignoring your child. You might miss seeing their actual pure joy and happiness, but you probably don't care about that anyways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids do both with occasionally. They'll ask to play tag or the ground is lava. If they ask us to join, why should we say no?.... Just because you don't want to engage with your child at the playground? Some days we spend 2 hours at the playground, go home shower and go to bed. So if we didn't engage with them there we literally would have no interaction with them for the day is that we work long hours....

These threads are wild.... Who would have thought people would complain about parents actually parenting their children?.

Parenting is also letting your children learn how to play independently. I am going to assume that your kids are in daycare/aftercare/camp and are at least learning independent play and how to play with other children in those settings? Because the worst are nanny kids who don't know how to interact with other children.

*Before you call me an SAHM, I'm not, I work full-time and my kids are in camp right now.

And why do you care?

Because I'd prefer my kids not have to deal with adults who don't know how to function independently when they grow up.

That's the next level of helicoptering. I'd rather you play with your kids than control mine.

I think you're missing the point. Let your kids learn how to play with stranger kids (of course keep an eye on them, I'm not advocating for scrolling through your phone and not paying for attention). It will help them when they're older and their parents aren't there to facilitate friendships for them.

I have nieces and nephews that are young adults - this is a real issue.

So when your mind, a parent who plays with their child on a playground for 20 minutes is somehow preventing their child from ever being able to socialize with anyone in the history of their entire life. You don't know if this child was a daycare for 8 hours and I was enjoying some time with their parent.... You don't know if this child just got to see their dad who's been away on business and is having fun with him...... You don't know if the parents share custody and this is the parents way of bonding when they have time with the child....

How about you? Do you and let other people do them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Or maybe the millennial parents are remembering how sad it was to have mom and dad brush you off because theyd rather read a newspaper than play with us. Playing with our kids to fight the generational ghosts of our pasts. Being a playful engaged parent shouldn't be looked at like its ruining the children. It's objectively better for kids to have parents they trust.

What does the bolded have to do with parents playing with kids on the playground?

The OP clarified and many have agreed: it's NBD if some parents want to play with their kids on the playground. The problems arise when that's done constantly, so no kids have the opportunity to play together, and also when other parents shame those who don't play with their kids on the playground. Different parents have different strengths.

They trust their parents and feel comfortable asking them to play. Knowing they won't get scoffed at or rebuffed so mom can scroll facebook and make snarky comments on some frenemies post. Some of the posts on here make it sound like any kid who wants to play with their parent is a dumb recluse with no social skills. Or maybe they just feel loved and trust their parent, never a bad thing IMO.