Parents playing with their kids at playgrounds

[Anonymous]

If you don’t do it then the other parents judge you for not paying attention to your child. You can’t win either way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When you see someone at the playground with their kids, you have no idea in what context that visit is happening.

Maybe that mom sitting on a bench zoning out on her phone has been taking care of her kids on her own for the last 3 days while trying to work because of a childcare fail, and she's just exhausted and needs her kids to self-entertain for an hour while she rests.

Maybe that dad who is climbing all over the equipment with his kids and making up games and getting really involved has been out of town for work for the last two weeks and is making extra effort to connect.

You don't know people's lives. Stop judging every little parenting choice you see in public. Unless a kid is in danger, it's none of your business and you probably don't even have enough info to make an evaluation.

Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Who cares? Do what works for you and your kid. I’m probably 50/50 with this.

OP…. MYOB

[Anonymous]

Mom of a 6 and 4 year old here, born in 1994, so I am in the youngest bracket of millennials. I don't play with mine unless we are alone, even then I usually sit on the bench. I chat with the other parents and help my kids if they ask. If I go with a friend we chat on the bench while the kids play. My friend refuses to play with hers in fact, she wants them to be less clingy. I think the millennial thing is either a stereotype or more for the mid/older ones.

[Anonymous]

It's not that they're playing with their kids, which is fine. I do it sometimes (play restaurant or whatever) at the playground. It's how they totally avoid eye contact with other parents while narrating everything their kid does in a sing song voice. And this is both mothers and fathers. It's like they are creating a weird family bubble for their kid. It won't kill you to ignore your kid for 60 seconds while you speak to another adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not that they're playing with their kids, which is fine. I do it sometimes (play restaurant or whatever) at the playground. It's how they totally avoid eye contact with other parents while narrating everything their kid does in a sing song voice. And this is both mothers and fathers. It's like they are creating a weird family bubble for their kid. It won't kill you to ignore your kid for 60 seconds while you speak to another adult.

Those parents are trying to help their kids with speech and vocabulary. They mean well but I do think if they let their kid interact with other kids, the kid would learn more rapidly. Those kinds of tone deaf parents are also more common in dmv for some reason. I think the culture is not so interactive here.

[Anonymous]

What your describing is not the definition of parallel play. Also, some kids are pretty shy especially coming out of a pandemic and need encouragement to ay with other children.

[Anonymous]

What an odd thread this is. Now you can't play with your kid at a park without being judged?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not that they're playing with their kids, which is fine. I do it sometimes (play restaurant or whatever) at the playground. It's how they totally avoid eye contact with other parents while narrating everything their kid does in a sing song voice. And this is both mothers and fathers. It's like they are creating a weird family bubble for their kid. It won't kill you to ignore your kid for 60 seconds while you speak to another adult.

Those parents are trying to help their kids with speech and vocabulary. They mean well but I do think if they let their kid interact with other kids, the kid would learn more rapidly. Those kinds of tone deaf parents are also more common in dmv for some reason. I think the culture is not so interactive here.

I know the type of people you and PP are talking about. They don’t have 30 seconds to say a proper /hello how are you\ to a neighbor because they are busy chasing their kid around going “Henley, do you see that BUG? What COLOR is the bug? Is it GREEN or YELLOW?” I agree they are doing their kid a disservice by failing to model good social interactions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not that they're playing with their kids, which is fine. I do it sometimes (play restaurant or whatever) at the playground. It's how they totally avoid eye contact with other parents while narrating everything their kid does in a sing song voice. And this is both mothers and fathers. It's like they are creating a weird family bubble for their kid. It won't kill you to ignore your kid for 60 seconds while you speak to another adult.

Those parents are trying to help their kids with speech and vocabulary. They mean well but I do think if they let their kid interact with other kids, the kid would learn more rapidly. Those kinds of tone deaf parents are also more common in dmv for some reason. I think the culture is not so interactive here.

I know the type of people you and PP are talking about. They don’t have 30 seconds to say a proper /hello how are you\ to a neighbor because they are busy chasing their kid around going “Henley, do you see that BUG? What COLOR is the bug? Is it GREEN or YELLOW?” I agree they are doing their kid a disservice by failing to model good social interactions.

Eh, I think I'd rather be ignored by that parent than engage with people who would judge them. I have very social kids. Who knows what the deal is with theirs, and who cares? Live and let live.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I realized my title is a bit misleading, since it's generally awesome when parents play fun games with their kids at playgrounds, and I've seen some great ones.... But when it's nobody else, at all, it's weird.

OP, I would LOVE for my kid to play with more kids at the playground. But unless she is really good friends with the kids, she won't talk or interact with kids she doesn't know. She has struggled with shyness and social anxiety for years. So yeah, sometime I to play with her (she is 10 btw), and it frustrates me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you don’t do it then the other parents judge you for not paying attention to your child. You can’t win either way.

Yes but I choose to risk being judged for that vs. being a Narrating Hover Mom.

[Anonymous]

I 100% judge Big Show on the Climbing Structure dad, Clogging the Big Kid Slide To Slide With a Baby When There’s A Baby Slide Mom, and general performative parenting.

When my DD was preschool age those parents would really bug her. She would run off the equipment and wait until they left.

Think about it- it’s normal and healthy for a 4 year old to encounter another 4 year old at the top of the slide and have to negotiate for a turn. I want my DD to learn to be around unfamiliar kids in a safe environment! That’s why public playgrounds exist.

It’s really weird for a 4 year old to be at the top of the slide trying to decide if they engage in the same conversation with a grown adult man. I don’t want my DD to have to figure out when she should or shouldn’t talk to an adult man who she doesn’t know. That’s not why public playgrounds exist!

Parents belong on benches unless they’re pushing swings or spotting tiny toddlers/babies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I 100% judge Big Show on the Climbing Structure dad, Clogging the Big Kid Slide To Slide With a Baby When There’s A Baby Slide Mom, and general performative parenting.

When my DD was preschool age those parents would really bug her. She would run off the equipment and wait until they left.

Think about it- it’s normal and healthy for a 4 year old to encounter another 4 year old at the top of the slide and have to negotiate for a turn. I want my DD to learn to be around unfamiliar kids in a safe environment! That’s why public playgrounds exist.

It’s really weird for a 4 year old to be at the top of the slide trying to decide if they engage in the same conversation with a grown adult man. I don’t want my DD to have to figure out when she should or shouldn’t talk to an adult man who she doesn’t know. That’s not why public playgrounds exist!

Parents belong on benches unless they’re pushing swings or spotting tiny toddlers/babies.

Why is that weird? I'm not up there with my kids, but my 4 year old knows to say "hi" and how to ask for their turn if someone--grownups included--is in the way.

My kids talk to grownups at the grocery, at the library and at church. Public spaces are good for kids to learn social skills to talk with both kids and adults.

Sounds like your kid may be shy? I don't think that means someone else has to stop playing with their (perhaps also shy) child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I 100% judge Big Show on the Climbing Structure dad, Clogging the Big Kid Slide To Slide With a Baby When There’s A Baby Slide Mom, and general performative parenting.

When my DD was preschool age those parents would really bug her. She would run off the equipment and wait until they left.

Think about it- it’s normal and healthy for a 4 year old to encounter another 4 year old at the top of the slide and have to negotiate for a turn. I want my DD to learn to be around unfamiliar kids in a safe environment! That’s why public playgrounds exist.

It’s really weird for a 4 year old to be at the top of the slide trying to decide if they engage in the same conversation with a grown adult man. I don’t want my DD to have to figure out when she should or shouldn’t talk to an adult man who she doesn’t know. That’s not why public playgrounds exist!

Parents belong on benches unless they’re pushing swings or spotting tiny toddlers/babies.

Why is that weird? I'm not up there with my kids, but my 4 year old knows to say "hi" and how to ask for their turn if someone--grownups included--is in the way.

My kids talk to grownups at the grocery, at the library and at church. Public spaces are good for kids to learn social skills to talk with both kids and adults.

Sounds like your kid may be shy? I don't think that means someone else has to stop playing with their (perhaps also shy) child.

The store, library and church are places to children to learn to interact with adults.

The top of a playground for kids 4-12 should be where kids work out peer relationships, not network or learn politeness.

Is there anywhere that you people just let your kids be with kids without having to be involved? How are kids supposed to learn to negotiate with each other and work out friendships and disagreements if there is no space that doesn’t involve adults?

Honestly, this is why we put my child into more organized sports. At least there she encounters only a minimum of adults and can be with kids for a few hours.