Parents playing with their kids at playgrounds

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids do both with occasionally. They'll ask to play tag or the ground is lava. If they ask us to join, why should we say no?.... Just because you don't want to engage with your child at the playground? Some days we spend 2 hours at the playground, go home shower and go to bed. So if we didn't engage with them there we literally would have no interaction with them for the day is that we work long hours....

These threads are wild.... Who would have thought people would complain about parents actually parenting their children?.

Base don her follow-up comment I think OP takes issue with a playground full of kids where the kids not playing together since they are playing with their caregivers instead, and I actually can understand that concern. Kids should learn how to play with each other. And another element that is going on here is that millennial parents have been pressured to give their kids lots of attention. I've heard a lot of people shame parents for *not* playing with their kids at the playground, which is messed up.

I tend to sit on a bench at the playground while my husband actually plays with the kids. But other kids often join in so that makes it really fun.

+1

The playground is not just place for physical activity, but also a place for kids can practice their social skills and so I understand what OP means by unsettling. She’s not saying that kids playing with Parents is bad.

When I was a SAHM, and my kids weren't in preschool yet, then I'd take them to the playground and think of it as a great chance for me to sit and check in with my mom, or talk to an adult, or nurse the baby, while they played and practiced their social skills. That was a great use of their time on the playground.

When I was back at work, and DH or I chose to take my kids, who had spent the week socializing at daycare/school, to the park and play and connect with them, that was also a great use of their time on the playground.

To describe either as "unsettling" is bizarre and judgmental.

What's unsettling to OP isn't *your* particular choice, it's seeing a bunch of kids at a playground playing with their caregivers instead of each other.

[Anonymous]

People play with their kids at the playground? I thought the whole point of the playground was for kids to play independently? I'll maybe push a kid on the swing or merry-go-round, but that's the level of my involvement.

Some of the new super involved parenting stuff is a bit much. Of course I'm Gen X and am very independent which is something I want to foster in my children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids do both with occasionally. They'll ask to play tag or the ground is lava. If they ask us to join, why should we say no?.... Just because you don't want to engage with your child at the playground? Some days we spend 2 hours at the playground, go home shower and go to bed. So if we didn't engage with them there we literally would have no interaction with them for the day is that we work long hours....

These threads are wild.... Who would have thought people would complain about parents actually parenting their children?.

Parenting is also letting your children learn how to play independently. I am going to assume that your kids are in daycare/aftercare/camp and are at least learning independent play and how to play with other children in those settings? Because the worst are nanny kids who don't know how to interact with other children.

*Before you call me an SAHM, I'm not, I work full-time and my kids are in camp right now.

[Anonymous]

If my kid asks me to join, I’m not gonna say no — it’s fun for us, and don’t care what other parents think or are doing. How about I don’t judge you for mindlessly scrolling on your phone and you don’t judge me for actively interacting with the kid if that’s their preference for the day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If my kid asks me to join, I’m not gonna say no — it’s fun for us, and don’t care what other parents think or are doing. How about I don’t judge you for mindlessly scrolling on your phone and you don’t judge me for actively interacting with the kid if that’s their preference for the day.

The phone thing is also definitely a problem. And I’m saying that as someone who isn’t interested in playing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids do both with occasionally. They'll ask to play tag or the ground is lava. If they ask us to join, why should we say no?.... Just because you don't want to engage with your child at the playground? Some days we spend 2 hours at the playground, go home shower and go to bed. So if we didn't engage with them there we literally would have no interaction with them for the day is that we work long hours....

These threads are wild.... Who would have thought people would complain about parents actually parenting their children?.

Base don her follow-up comment I think OP takes issue with a playground full of kids where the kids not playing together since they are playing with their caregivers instead, and I actually can understand that concern. Kids should learn how to play with each other. And another element that is going on here is that millennial parents have been pressured to give their kids lots of attention. I've heard a lot of people shame parents for *not* playing with their kids at the playground, which is messed up.

I tend to sit on a bench at the playground while my husband actually plays with the kids. But other kids often join in so that makes it really fun.

+1

The playground is not just place for physical activity, but also a place for kids can practice their social skills and so I understand what OP means by unsettling. She’s not saying that kids playing with Parents is bad.

When I was a SAHM, and my kids weren't in preschool yet, then I'd take them to the playground and think of it as a great chance for me to sit and check in with my mom, or talk to an adult, or nurse the baby, while they played and practiced their social skills. That was a great use of their time on the playground.

When I was back at work, and DH or I chose to take my kids, who had spent the week socializing at daycare/school, to the park and play and connect with them, that was also a great use of their time on the playground.

To describe either as "unsettling" is bizarre and judgmental.

What's unsettling to OP isn't *your* particular choice, it's seeing a bunch of kids at a playground playing with their caregivers instead of each other.

OP is leading a charmed life if that is what she chooses to "unsettle" about. Live and let live. There are no rules for playground play.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids do both with occasionally. They'll ask to play tag or the ground is lava. If they ask us to join, why should we say no?.... Just because you don't want to engage with your child at the playground? Some days we spend 2 hours at the playground, go home shower and go to bed. So if we didn't engage with them there we literally would have no interaction with them for the day is that we work long hours....

These threads are wild.... Who would have thought people would complain about parents actually parenting their children?.

Parenting is also letting your children learn how to play independently. I am going to assume that your kids are in daycare/aftercare/camp and are at least learning independent play and how to play with other children in those settings? Because the worst are nanny kids who don't know how to interact with other children.

*Before you call me an SAHM, I'm not, I work full-time and my kids are in camp right now.

And why do you care?

[Anonymous]

This must be a covid thing, or a new thing. My middle school kids (and one 5th grader) didn't do this nor do I recall seeing anyone do this, except late in the evening when a few parents play baseball or something with their kids, presumably as a family activity.

[Anonymous]

This is a covid thing for sure. We went to playgrounds throughout and there were usually some fully masked families there reminding the children to keep their distance. Some of the kids seem to have taken it to heart.
I have no problem telling my kids that I'm reading my book and they should find another kid to play tag with. I'm with them all the time!

[Anonymous]

“Unsettling” JFC 🙄

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids do both with occasionally. They'll ask to play tag or the ground is lava. If they ask us to join, why should we say no?.... Just because you don't want to engage with your child at the playground? Some days we spend 2 hours at the playground, go home shower and go to bed. So if we didn't engage with them there we literally would have no interaction with them for the day is that we work long hours....

These threads are wild.... Who would have thought people would complain about parents actually parenting their children?.

That’s not parenting. That’s entertaining them in the role of a child. It’s part of the expectations of intensive parenting, which is a brand new thing in human history (mid 1990s in richer industrialized countries).

My husband is better at it than me.

This, exactly. Usurping the role of kids to entertain themselves and interact, not parenting.

[Anonymous]

I live in DC and to be honest, what I see most often is this:

- Nannies supervising kids (but not playing with them)
- A handful of parents taking work calls while their kids play, sometimes alone, sometimes together

I only see parents with kids at playgrounds on the weekends, and then I rarely see the parents playing -- they either talk to each other or scroll their phones.

I work part-time and take my kid to the playground after camp or school 3-4 days a week. I will play with her if she asks, which she might if there are no other kids there or if there are no kids within her age range (or if all the other kids are boys -- she will play 1:1 with a boy but does not feel comfortable playing with a group of boys). Otherwise she usually finds a new friend or two and I will read or look at my phone while she plays, or on occasion talk to other parents if they are friendly (they usually aren't!).

During Covid I played with my kid a lot because it's like kids weren't allowed to play together (I would have been fine with it but the ethos of our neighborhood was that no one was supposed to interact, it was sad). But she was 3, I might have played with her anyway at that age, it's a hard age because they often need help with playground equipment and their social skills are super rudimentary.

[Anonymous]

I played with my kids, because I wanted to. I'm a child at heart. Other kids joined in. It was fun. I cherish that memory now they're teens.

It doesn't have to be a dichotomy, OP. Not every little social observation has to merge into "tHe Next geNeratiOn is So screWed and All parentS sUck eXcept mE" game that every generation has been playing for centuries. Literally. Plato had a few remarks about it in the 4th century.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids do both with occasionally. They'll ask to play tag or the ground is lava. If they ask us to join, why should we say no?.... Just because you don't want to engage with your child at the playground? Some days we spend 2 hours at the playground, go home shower and go to bed. So if we didn't engage with them there we literally would have no interaction with them for the day is that we work long hours....

These threads are wild.... Who would have thought people would complain about parents actually parenting their children?.

That’s not parenting. That’s entertaining them in the role of a child. It’s part of the expectations of intensive parenting, which is a brand new thing in human history (mid 1990s in richer industrialized countries).

My husband is better at it than me.

This, exactly. Usurping the role of kids to entertain themselves and interact, not parenting.

That's modeling and scaffolding skills for kids to apply independently during peer interactions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“Unsettling” JFC 🙄

+1 The only unsettling thing here is OP's competitiveness. She chooses to judge rather than engage with her kids.