Parents playing with their kids at playgrounds

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Maybe your narrow, petty, little mind can stretch to understand that there are different kinds of parenting that work for different kinds of people. Some adults are "sit on a bench" sort of parents. Some adults are "engage with their kids" sort of people. It depends on their inborn character traits, and perhaps what they experienced in their own childhoods. It all works out in the end and the planet still spins on its axis.

Are you talking to me, the Gen X mom who posted above? I'm not sure why you are so sarcastic, and mean. Maybe I touched a nerve. I will tell you that my young adult children are well-adjusted, young adults who can navigate problems, and problem people, quite well. And without my help. They learned how to deal with people on the playground, in real time, in a non-structured environment. They didn't have me always hovering, always distracting, always keeping other kids at bay. Younger parents might not even realize what they're doing in serving as an emotional human shield, it may be subliminal. Maybe they are not connecting the dots. Or it's narcissism. Narcissists attach their kids to their hip, there is very little breathing room. Look at me, talk to me, only. So there's that, too.

Let the kids learn to play with other kids. It will serve them well in the long run.

Amen! Somehow I forgot that by having kids later I would be parenting with millennials - it's exhausting, but I see how my kids are independent, open to life, anxiety-free and many millennial kids cannot deal with the daily slings and arrows of kindergarten.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I cant believe parents on here would rather other parents scroll DCUM than play with their kids AND JUDGE THEM for playing with their kids?! WTAF am I reading?

If you want to be a lazy unengaged parent that's fine, but let the rest of us play with our kids if we want. Sheesh.

The problem you might be struggling with is your hypervigilant narcissism. Playing with your kids is normal behavior, e.g., in a park or a baseball field. But there are parents climbing on playground equipment and jungle gyms - that's not good parenting, that's stunted development and a rejection of "adulting."

[Anonymous]

Can the Gen X parents posting here please get over themselves?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Maybe your narrow, petty, little mind can stretch to understand that there are different kinds of parenting that work for different kinds of people. Some adults are "sit on a bench" sort of parents. Some adults are "engage with their kids" sort of people. It depends on their inborn character traits, and perhaps what they experienced in their own childhoods. It all works out in the end and the planet still spins on its axis.

Are you talking to me, the Gen X mom who posted above? I'm not sure why you are so sarcastic, and mean. Maybe I touched a nerve. I will tell you that my young adult children are well-adjusted, young adults who can navigate problems, and problem people, quite well. And without my help. They learned how to deal with people on the playground, in real time, in a non-structured environment. They didn't have me always hovering, always distracting, always keeping other kids at bay. Younger parents might not even realize what they're doing in serving as an emotional human shield, it may be subliminal. Maybe they are not connecting the dots. Or it's narcissism. Narcissists attach their kids to their hip, there is very little breathing room. Look at me, talk to me, only. So there's that, too.

Let the kids learn to play with other kids. It will serve them well in the long run.

Amen! Somehow I forgot that by having kids later I would be parenting with millennials - it's exhausting, but I see how my kids are independent, open to life, anxiety-free and many millennial kids cannot deal with the daily slings and arrows of kindergarten.

You would never know, being as disengaged as you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cant believe parents on here would rather other parents scroll DCUM than play with their kids AND JUDGE THEM for playing with their kids?! WTAF am I reading?

If you want to be a lazy unengaged parent that's fine, but let the rest of us play with our kids if we want. Sheesh.

The problem you might be struggling with is your hypervigilant narcissism. Playing with your kids is normal behavior, e.g., in a park or a baseball field. But there are parents climbing on playground equipment and jungle gyms - that's not good parenting, that's stunted development and a rejection of "adulting."

There is nothing in the op about parents climbing on jungle gyms. Nothing.

[Anonymous]

The vast majority of us, from whatever generation, don't like "human shield" parents. The type that interfere with and try to referee kid interactions. But I'm not sure why we are talking about those parents because that is not who the OP was talking about.

[Anonymous]

My oldest had significant social issues at 4.5/6 or so. She was in individual therapy and social skills classes and at the advice of all professionals, when things were very bad I essentially acted at times as a facilitator with other kids play. Sometimes I played with her because she was exhausted from the effort to navigate the situation calmly and acceptably. Maybe be glad you didn’t have to do any of that? She is now on medication and after tons of practice does pretty well socially. But I know it’s harder for her than her peers. I’m super proud of her and have zero regrets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids do both with occasionally. They'll ask to play tag or the ground is lava. If they ask us to join, why should we say no?.... Just because you don't want to engage with your child at the playground? Some days we spend 2 hours at the playground, go home shower and go to bed. So if we didn't engage with them there we literally would have no interaction with them for the day is that we work long hours....

These threads are wild.... Who would have thought people would complain about parents actually parenting their children?.

Base don her follow-up comment I think OP takes issue with a playground full of kids where the kids not playing together since they are playing with their caregivers instead, and I actually can understand that concern. Kids should learn how to play with each other. And another element that is going on here is that millennial parents have been pressured to give their kids lots of attention. I've heard a lot of people shame parents for *not* playing with their kids at the playground, which is messed up.

I tend to sit on a bench at the playground while my husband actually plays with the kids. But other kids often join in so that makes it really fun.

+1

The playground is not just place for physical activity, but also a place for kids can practice their social skills and so I understand what OP means by unsettling. She’s not saying that kids playing with Parents is bad.

When I was a SAHM, and my kids weren't in preschool yet, then I'd take them to the playground and think of it as a great chance for me to sit and check in with my mom, or talk to an adult, or nurse the baby, while they played and practiced their social skills. That was a great use of their time on the playground.

When I was back at work, and DH or I chose to take my kids, who had spent the week socializing at daycare/school, to the park and play and connect with them, that was also a great use of their time on the playground.

To describe either as "unsettling" is bizarre and judgmental.

What's unsettling to OP isn't *your* particular choice, it's seeing a bunch of kids at a playground playing with their caregivers instead of each other.

So, if my DH makes that choice it’s not unsettling, but if he makes at the same time as another parent it is? And that’s not judgmental?

[Anonymous]

If my kid didn't find anyone to play with, I played with them. Not every kid is there to play with random strange kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a gen-X parent of a young kid, I find this so bizarre. I refuse. I will give hugs and snacks, encourage kid to play by herself until others come, but that's it. However, I see millennial parents do it all of the time - or actively police the playground to make sure their kid gets the choice equipment. In one case, one of the parents spoke to my kid in loud (and poor) Spanish to ask her to move off the slide (We're Middle Eastern).

I’m an older millennial parent and I’m the same. I have 3 kids. The park is my chance to sit on a bench while they play. Making new friends is the best part of the park. I did play with them as toddlers when they needed that caregiver interaction. But elementary school kids should be able to form a pickup game of tag or whatever. Thankfully there are a lot of school friends in our neighborhood so we usually run into someone we know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids do both with occasionally. They'll ask to play tag or the ground is lava. If they ask us to join, why should we say no?.... Just because you don't want to engage with your child at the playground? Some days we spend 2 hours at the playground, go home shower and go to bed. So if we didn't engage with them there we literally would have no interaction with them for the day is that we work long hours....

These threads are wild.... Who would have thought people would complain about parents actually parenting their children?.

Parenting is also letting your children learn how to play independently. I am going to assume that your kids are in daycare/aftercare/camp and are at least learning independent play and how to play with other children in those settings? Because the worst are nanny kids who don't know how to interact with other children.

*Before you call me an SAHM, I'm not, I work full-time and my kids are in camp right now.

And why do you care?

Because I'd prefer my kids not have to deal with adults who don't know how to function independently when they grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids do both with occasionally. They'll ask to play tag or the ground is lava. If they ask us to join, why should we say no?.... Just because you don't want to engage with your child at the playground? Some days we spend 2 hours at the playground, go home shower and go to bed. So if we didn't engage with them there we literally would have no interaction with them for the day is that we work long hours....

These threads are wild.... Who would have thought people would complain about parents actually parenting their children?.

Parenting is also letting your children learn how to play independently. I am going to assume that your kids are in daycare/aftercare/camp and are at least learning independent play and how to play with other children in those settings? Because the worst are nanny kids who don't know how to interact with other children.

*Before you call me an SAHM, I'm not, I work full-time and my kids are in camp right now.

And why do you care?

Because I'd prefer my kids not have to deal with adults who don't know how to function independently when they grow up.

That's the next level of helicoptering. I'd rather you play with your kids than control mine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids do both with occasionally. They'll ask to play tag or the ground is lava. If they ask us to join, why should we say no?.... Just because you don't want to engage with your child at the playground? Some days we spend 2 hours at the playground, go home shower and go to bed. So if we didn't engage with them there we literally would have no interaction with them for the day is that we work long hours....

These threads are wild.... Who would have thought people would complain about parents actually parenting their children?.

Parenting is also letting your children learn how to play independently. I am going to assume that your kids are in daycare/aftercare/camp and are at least learning independent play and how to play with other children in those settings? Because the worst are nanny kids who don't know how to interact with other children.

*Before you call me an SAHM, I'm not, I work full-time and my kids are in camp right now.

And why do you care?

Because I'd prefer my kids not have to deal with adults who don't know how to function independently when they grow up.

That's the next level of helicoptering. I'd rather you play with your kids than control mine.

I think you're missing the point. Let your kids learn how to play with stranger kids (of course keep an eye on them, I'm not advocating for scrolling through your phone and not paying for attention). It will help them when they're older and their parents aren't there to facilitate friendships for them.

I have nieces and nephews that are young adults - this is a real issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids do both with occasionally. They'll ask to play tag or the ground is lava. If they ask us to join, why should we say no?.... Just because you don't want to engage with your child at the playground? Some days we spend 2 hours at the playground, go home shower and go to bed. So if we didn't engage with them there we literally would have no interaction with them for the day is that we work long hours....

These threads are wild.... Who would have thought people would complain about parents actually parenting their children?.

Parenting is also letting your children learn how to play independently. I am going to assume that your kids are in daycare/aftercare/camp and are at least learning independent play and how to play with other children in those settings? Because the worst are nanny kids who don't know how to interact with other children.

*Before you call me an SAHM, I'm not, I work full-time and my kids are in camp right now.

And why do you care?

Because I'd prefer my kids not have to deal with adults who don't know how to function independently when they grow up.

That's the next level of helicoptering. I'd rather you play with your kids than control mine.

I think you're missing the point. Let your kids learn how to play with stranger kids (of course keep an eye on them, I'm not advocating for scrolling through your phone and not paying for attention). It will help them when they're older and their parents aren't there to facilitate friendships for them.

I have nieces and nephews that are young adults - this is a real issue.

How about I parent according to my kids' needs and you stay out of it?
I know nothing about your nephews' and nieces' problems, which I am sure have nothing to do with other people's parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cant believe parents on here would rather other parents scroll DCUM than play with their kids AND JUDGE THEM for playing with their kids?! WTAF am I reading?

If you want to be a lazy unengaged parent that's fine, but let the rest of us play with our kids if we want. Sheesh.

The problem you might be struggling with is your hypervigilant narcissism. Playing with your kids is normal behavior, e.g., in a park or a baseball field. But there are parents climbing on playground equipment and jungle gyms - that's not good parenting, that's stunted development and a rejection of "adulting."

Playing with my kid is hardly narcissistic lol. Sorry that you'd rather dump your kids off somewhere and go argue with other parents instead of engaging with them.
The OP said nothing about parents on jungle gyms, but if an adult using the monkey bars really bothers you that much you should probably just avoid the playground all together. Wouldn't want your feelings getting hurt seeing another parent actually loving their child!