Skipping Wife's Birthday

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So my wife's birthday is Friday. I'm not acknowledging it. No dinner, no gift, and I'll do my best to pretend I'm unaware.

We had a tiff three days before fathers' day (about something she was 100% wrong about) and she ignored fathers day. Nothing from the kids, no dinner, nothing. When I mentioned it the following day she said, and I quote "Why would I celebrate someone who was being a jerk?"

Again, it's indisputable that she was wrong. She's just that stubborn.

Anyway- just airing it out there. I'll let you know how it goes.

Well technically speaking your kids are the ones who really ignored you for Father’s Day. I wonder why, hmm…

That's not how fathers day works, especially with younger kids. I bet you want us to believe your 8 year old DD cooked you filet mignon on fathers day and got you a new graphite hybrid driver, right?

They've been married 21 years. Chances are their kids are high schoolers or maybe even young adults. Please. By this point those kids should be making the effort, not being reminded by mom.

BWABABAHAHAHAH. Of course they get reminded by mom. OMG. Of course. They don't spontaneously think of father's day or their parent's birthdays. But that's OK. They should get a level of help/reminders appropriate to their age. For my practically adult (16&17 yo )kids that means me reminding them multiple times over the two weeks before an event, but letting them get/make a gift/card on their own. I'll give them suggestions if they want them.

Set higher expectations for your kids. I definitely new when fathers/ mother's day was at 16/17 as do my kids and no it's not from parental prompting.

That's the kind of thing that breeds thoughtless spouses in the future.

And a spouse should also celebrate the other parent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is actually the advice often given if a man does nothing for Mother's Day or her Birthday - to reciprocate by doing nothing for him. To not put effort into a guy who puts no effort into you, who was thoughtless, who can't admit fault etc.

The posters rarely tell the woman to take the high road and not be petty and just lavish him with love and gifts anyways,no matter how he treats her.

Very different advice here.

100%. I find it hilarious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, I can tell you how it goes. You will be one step further to divorce. I guess making this point is better than trying to better your relationship? Go to therapy, either to save your marriage or to end it as amicably as possible.

This,OP. Very much this. Your choices: therapy or divorce.

Why is it on OP? His wife is the one that started this. She apparently thinks this is acceptable behavior, so why shouldn’t he return the favor? I see zero problem. If she wants a divorce, she should put her big girl pants on and ask for it, not behave like a spoiled teenager until he initiates it.

[Anonymous]

Op, on a scale of 1-10, how hot is your wife?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're both immature. I don't see your marriage lasting.

This is OP. Ironically, we just had our 21st anniversary.

And?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, on a scale of 1-10, how hot is your wife?

At 27 she was a solid 9. Now at 49, I'd say shes more like a 5.5.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, on a scale of 1-10, how hot is your wife?

At 27 she was a solid 9. Now at 49, I'd say shes more like a 5.5.

And you, posting this, are trash. That is the mother of your children and you’re acting like a middle schooler.

Something tells me you weren’t so “objectively right” in the argument that got Father’s Day cancelled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So my wife's birthday is Friday. I'm not acknowledging it. No dinner, no gift, and I'll do my best to pretend I'm unaware.

We had a tiff three days before fathers' day (about something she was 100% wrong about) and she ignored fathers day. Nothing from the kids, no dinner, nothing. When I mentioned it the following day she said, and I quote "Why would I celebrate someone who was being a jerk?"

Again, it's indisputable that she was wrong. She's just that stubborn.

Anyway- just airing it out there. I'll let you know how it goes.

You guys are both being horrible role models for your children and behaving poorly towards one another. I'm sorry your kids also didn't lift a finger to celebrate you on Father's Day. If you've been married 21 years they can't be so young that they don't understand the assignment, but I'm wondering if punishing each other this way is something you've modeled for them through the years and they try not to get in the middle of you two.

This. OP has been fuming and letting the Father's Day thing fester for nearly two months, waiting for his chance to retaliate. It's just gross and so petty that petty doesn't even seem adequate. Sounds like your wife is also to blame. You're awful together and your kids don't need to bear witness to your dysfunctional marriage that is apparently based on loathing and resentment. Just get a divorce.

Ya think? She skipped fathers day for Christ Sake. Just imagine if your DH skipped mothers day. Seriously. You all are so hypocritical it is pathetic.

It's not just that she skipped it, she has alienated the children to the point where they were afraid to do anything on Father's Day lest they anger her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So my wife's birthday is Friday. I'm not acknowledging it. No dinner, no gift, and I'll do my best to pretend I'm unaware.

We had a tiff three days before fathers' day (about something she was 100% wrong about) and she ignored fathers day. Nothing from the kids, no dinner, nothing. When I mentioned it the following day she said, and I quote "Why would I celebrate someone who was being a jerk?"

Again, it's indisputable that she was wrong. She's just that stubborn.

Anyway- just airing it out there. I'll let you know how it goes.

You guys are both being horrible role models for your children and behaving poorly towards one another. I'm sorry your kids also didn't lift a finger to celebrate you on Father's Day. If you've been married 21 years they can't be so young that they don't understand the assignment, but I'm wondering if punishing each other this way is something you've modeled for them through the years and they try not to get in the middle of you two.

This. OP has been fuming and letting the Father's Day thing fester for nearly two months, waiting for his chance to retaliate. It's just gross and so petty that petty doesn't even seem adequate. Sounds like your wife is also to blame. You're awful together and your kids don't need to bear witness to your dysfunctional marriage that is apparently based on loathing and resentment. Just get a divorce.

Ya think? She skipped fathers day for Christ Sake. Just imagine if your DH skipped mothers day. Seriously. You all are so hypocritical it is pathetic.

It's not just that she skipped it, she has alienated the children to the point where they were afraid to do anything on Father's Day lest they anger her.

It is interesting that this point didn't come up until so late. I agree that she weaponized the children against their father.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're both immature. I don't see your marriage lasting.

This is OP. Ironically, we just had our 21st anniversary.

Are you happy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So my wife's birthday is Friday. I'm not acknowledging it. No dinner, no gift, and I'll do my best to pretend I'm unaware.

We had a tiff three days before fathers' day (about something she was 100% wrong about) and she ignored fathers day. Nothing from the kids, no dinner, nothing. When I mentioned it the following day she said, and I quote "Why would I celebrate someone who was being a jerk?"

Again, it's indisputable that she was wrong. She's just that stubborn.

Anyway- just airing it out there. I'll let you know how it goes.

Well technically speaking your kids are the ones who really ignored you for Father’s Day. I wonder why, hmm…

That's not how fathers day works, especially with younger kids. I bet you want us to believe your 8 year old DD cooked you filet mignon on fathers day and got you a new graphite hybrid driver, right?

If you are married for 21 years, your kids would be older than 8.

[Anonymous]

OP, how are you planning to enjoy the day after your wife's bday? And the week after? Month? Year?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So my wife's birthday is Friday. I'm not acknowledging it. No dinner, no gift, and I'll do my best to pretend I'm unaware.

We had a tiff three days before fathers' day (about something she was 100% wrong about) and she ignored fathers day. Nothing from the kids, no dinner, nothing. When I mentioned it the following day she said, and I quote "Why would I celebrate someone who was being a jerk?"

Again, it's indisputable that she was wrong. She's just that stubborn.

Anyway- just airing it out there. I'll let you know how it goes.

You guys are both being horrible role models for your children and behaving poorly towards one another. I'm sorry your kids also didn't lift a finger to celebrate you on Father's Day. If you've been married 21 years they can't be so young that they don't understand the assignment, but I'm wondering if punishing each other this way is something you've modeled for them through the years and they try not to get in the middle of you two.

This. OP has been fuming and letting the Father's Day thing fester for nearly two months, waiting for his chance to retaliate. It's just gross and so petty that petty doesn't even seem adequate. Sounds like your wife is also to blame. You're awful together and your kids don't need to bear witness to your dysfunctional marriage that is apparently based on loathing and resentment. Just get a divorce.

Ya think? She skipped fathers day for Christ Sake. Just imagine if your DH skipped mothers day. Seriously. You all are so hypocritical it is pathetic.

My husband never did anything for Mother's day. He said he was not my child.

I do remind our children about his birthday and father's day. Other than that, I do nothing for him on Father's day. He is not my father.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, on a scale of 1-10, how hot is your wife?

At 27 she was a solid 9. Now at 49, I'd say shes more like a 5.5.

Why are you still married to somebody you despise? You are such a loser.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So my wife's birthday is Friday. I'm not acknowledging it. No dinner, no gift, and I'll do my best to pretend I'm unaware.

We had a tiff three days before fathers' day (about something she was 100% wrong about) and she ignored fathers day. Nothing from the kids, no dinner, nothing. When I mentioned it the following day she said, and I quote "Why would I celebrate someone who was being a jerk?"

Again, it's indisputable that she was wrong. She's just that stubborn.

Anyway- just airing it out there. I'll let you know how it goes.

Well technically speaking your kids are the ones who really ignored you for Father’s Day. I wonder why, hmm…

That's not how fathers day works, especially with younger kids. I bet you want us to believe your 8 year old DD cooked you filet mignon on fathers day and got you a new graphite hybrid driver, right?

If he's been married for 21 years his kid is probably older than 8