Skipping Wife's Birthday

[Anonymous]

What is your end game? What do you hope will be the result?

You should either decide that the relationship can't be salvaged and begin thinking about divorce or decide that the relationship is worth figuring for and communicate clearly about your feelings, with or without a therapist.

[Anonymous]

I am a guy and this is just a stupid plan.

So you are intentionally and with pre meditation trying to be an ahole? Do you know what that makes you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is your end game? What do you hope will be the result?

You should either decide that the relationship can't be salvaged and begin thinking about divorce or decide that the relationship is worth figuring for and communicate clearly about your feelings, with or without a therapist.

If it were me, my end game would be a sincere apology and a promise to correct her behavior. Nothing would be celebrated until that happened. The bonus for me is that I hate celebrating that stuff anyway so I win as long as she pouts.

[Anonymous]

You, sir, are a dumbass. If you really want to make her feel bad, you should instead be over-the-top celebrating her birthday. She will feel terribly guilty about father's day. Otherwise, you are confirming her comment about you being a jerk.

[Anonymous]

You are racing her to the bottom.

[Anonymous]

a perfect dcum couple

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You, sir, are a dumbass. If you really want to make her feel bad, you should instead be over-the-top celebrating her birthday. She will feel terribly guilty about father's day. Otherwise, you are confirming her comment about you being a jerk.

Manipulative as hell...but right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're both immature. I don't see your marriage lasting.

This is OP. Ironically, we just had our 21st anniversary.

So you posted this anniversary tidbit because...you're proud you've lasted 21 years to end up in a mutual nightmare of pettiness?
Happy anniversary and please celebrate many more together! You deserve each other. And the world does not need either of you back on the dating market.

[Anonymous]

You should buy what you wanted for fathers day, wrap it up and give it to her.

[Anonymous]

Oh my gosh this way of living is so bad for both your blood pressures and peace of mind!

Just reach out to her and say “hey, I know we’ve have some disagreements recently and things have been tense, but your birthday is coming up and I really want to repair with you. I don’t really know exactly how but I love you and want to know how you are doing and what you would like to do on your birthday. Bigger picture I want to be gentle with you and desire the same for myself and don’t want this tension between us.”

Or something to that effect!

[Anonymous]

21 years and this is how you treat each other?

How old are your kids and what are either of you teaching them?

It was crappy of her to ignore Father's Day. I don't know why people go out of their way to hurt each other.

[Anonymous]

If your wife came here to post, she would be advised to celebrate her own birthday, leaving you with the kids while she goes for a spa day (or weekend) and buys herself something beautiful.

If you are happy watching the kids for a weekend and seeing her happy with her new handbag/diamonds/kindle, then carry on as you’re going and she will have a lovely day.

[Anonymous]

Surprised you guys are still married.

[Anonymous]

Do you want your children to grow up thinking this is the model for romantic partnerships?

[Anonymous]

Buying your side of the story that she was so obviously wrong in the last fight and terrible to not celebrate Father’s Day … now what?

What will you achieve by not celebrating her birthday? I guess you will be “even.” Then what happens? Do you think she’ll be like “oh I get it now, I’m so sorry, let’s call a truce?” Or do you think you’re more likely to end up with WWIII (or possibly a Cold War) in your house?

Do you want your marriage to be in a good place or do you mostly just want to “win” even if it means sabotage? What example are you setting for your children? Is this what you want them to model in a future relationship? I just honestly don’t think you know where you’re going with this.