Impressive sounding things about you that aren’t actually impressive

[Anonymous]

I’ve met the ( former) Queen of England… had tea with her actually.

[Anonymous]

I gave birth natural twice.

[Anonymous]

I used to be able to do a needle on either leg

[Anonymous]

I’m a BigLaw partner. Who can fold a fitted sheet fairly well. And who could do aerials. . . . as a teen but never since.

[Anonymous]

I can fold a fitted sheet, I'm a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model, and I've been to prison.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Iowa Writers' Workshop

This, my friend, is legitimately impressive.

[Anonymous]

Performed with a band and a celebrity at Howard Theater.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can fold a fitted sheet.

You have mastered a skill that few have achieved. Take a bow!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a nuclear engineer.

Most impressive is between this and the fitted sheet

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can fold a fitted sheet, I'm a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model, and I've been to prison.

I did not know Martha Stewart hangs around here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm impressed by the Fulbright! Why is it unimpressive?

Because I didn’t manage to really produce anything and never went on to do anything academic or international.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm impressed by the Fulbright! Why is it unimpressive?

It was probably a teaching fulbright, not research

No, it was a research Fulbright. I had a great project, just not the support or background to pull it off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can perform a side aerial, front handspring, roundoff & one handed cartwheels on either hand

^^better than my Fulbright

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Iowa Writers' Workshop

that is impressive!! why not?

[Anonymous]

I have an extra bone that sticks down from the roof of my mouth.