Brother in law sharing salary of niece, bragging?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's become much less taboo to talk salaries, because that's the only way to achieve pay equity and/or make sure employees know the market. So he may just be following her lead - she told him, he told you.

Without any more context OP - this.

It’s still impolite & tacky as ever.

Not sure about that. They are siblings.

So? They are adults. None of their business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My brother in law was sharing news that my soon to be graduating niece (college) has landed a job and disclosed the salary to my husband. The salary is a nice salary for a first job, nothing outrageous. I think it is in bad taste to give that detail. My husband disagrees. I just felt like it was bragging and seemed to be said in a competitive vein. We have children, all who are through college. They have varying degrees of success, but I just always give high level details. I just feel as if it is bragging.

Of course he's bragging. Whatever.

It's not cool of him to share that information. Period. But it's done. And if he had done it to me, I'd prob say something like "I hope she's ok with you sharing her personal information, Ron."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't really see the issue. They're family. I've heard the salary of a lot of my family members. Not bragging, they're facts.

I'm a federal employee and our salaries are all public knowledge, so are most teachers.

As yours should be made public.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How ridiculous. It would still be bragging if he just said she got a good job with a good salary. Knowing the number doesn’t make it bragging.

Honestly I think it’s fine to brag about your kids to your siblings. I do it with my siblings and vice versa.

Disagree. Giving the number is exactly what makes it classless. There’s no issue of salary transparency for pay equity in this scenario, so don’t give me that line. My sister was excited when both of her kids got their first jobs out of college, and I was excited for them, but would’ve been so incredibly weird if she shared their salaries. Same with the adult nieces and nephews on my husband’s side. Talking numbers would get you major side eyes. It’s just not done.

Does it now

I'm rolling my eyes at how tiresome you are.

Roll on, boorish braggart.

[Anonymous]

It does not surprise me in the slightest that the uber competitive DCUM crowd includes so many who don’t find talking about your kid’s salaries to relative isn’t boorish or tacky behavior. Of course it is. I wouldn’t do that in a million years and none of my siblings would either. Some people have class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They’re brothers. Just stop.

+1

+1

My siblings tell me about their kids' jobs and salary, and my kids are still HS age. Some earn a good amount; some do not. It's nbd.

They also know how much DH and I make; I know how much they and their DH's make.

We're a close family, and there is no jealousy. My siblings are happy for me that I make a lot more than any of them or their spouses. They are not jealous of me.

[Anonymous]

They are brothers. This is really no big deal.

I would never boast of that. My kids are only in elementary.

I don’t work now but my husband makes over a million dollars per year with an equal bonus or more. My mom has prodded but I don’t want to tell her because I know she will brag. She brags about us enough without knowing any numbers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How ridiculous. It would still be bragging if he just said she got a good job with a good salary. Knowing the number doesn’t make it bragging.

Honestly I think it’s fine to brag about your kids to your siblings. I do it with my siblings and vice versa.

Disagree. Giving the number is exactly what makes it classless. There’s no issue of salary transparency for pay equity in this scenario, so don’t give me that line. My sister was excited when both of her kids got their first jobs out of college, and I was excited for them, but would’ve been so incredibly weird if she shared their salaries. Same with the adult nieces and nephews on my husband’s side. Talking numbers would get you major side eyes. It’s just not done.

And the "not done"'is what keeps the employers in power. Salary transparency would improve many things and get people to understand what different career paths offer in reality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How ridiculous. It would still be bragging if he just said she got a good job with a good salary. Knowing the number doesn’t make it bragging.

Honestly I think it’s fine to brag about your kids to your siblings. I do it with my siblings and vice versa.

Disagree. Giving the number is exactly what makes it classless. There’s no issue of salary transparency for pay equity in this scenario, so don’t give me that line. My sister was excited when both of her kids got their first jobs out of college, and I was excited for them, but would’ve been so incredibly weird if she shared their salaries. Same with the adult nieces and nephews on my husband’s side. Talking numbers would get you major side eyes. It’s just not done.

And the "not done"'is what keeps the employers in power. Salary transparency would improve many things and get people to understand what different career paths offer in reality.

Please. Take it up with the employers, who can and should provide accurate salary ranges in every job listing. This is not appropriate family dinner conversation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How ridiculous. It would still be bragging if he just said she got a good job with a good salary. Knowing the number doesn’t make it bragging.

Honestly I think it’s fine to brag about your kids to your siblings. I do it with my siblings and vice versa.

Disagree. Giving the number is exactly what makes it classless. There’s no issue of salary transparency for pay equity in this scenario, so don’t give me that line. My sister was excited when both of her kids got their first jobs out of college, and I was excited for them, but would’ve been so incredibly weird if she shared their salaries. Same with the adult nieces and nephews on my husband’s side. Talking numbers would get you major side eyes. It’s just not done.

And the "not done"'is what keeps the employers in power. Salary transparency would improve many things and get people to understand what different career paths offer in reality.

Please. Take it up with the employers, who can and should provide accurate salary ranges in every job listing. This is not appropriate family dinner conversation.

"not done" is family dependent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How ridiculous. It would still be bragging if he just said she got a good job with a good salary. Knowing the number doesn’t make it bragging.

Honestly I think it’s fine to brag about your kids to your siblings. I do it with my siblings and vice versa.

Disagree. Giving the number is exactly what makes it classless. There’s no issue of salary transparency for pay equity in this scenario, so don’t give me that line. My sister was excited when both of her kids got their first jobs out of college, and I was excited for them, but would’ve been so incredibly weird if she shared their salaries. Same with the adult nieces and nephews on my husband’s side. Talking numbers would get you major side eyes. It’s just not done.

And the "not done"'is what keeps the employers in power. Salary transparency would improve many things and get people to understand what different career paths offer in reality.

Please. Take it up with the employers, who can and should provide accurate salary ranges in every job listing. This is not appropriate family dinner conversation.

"not done" is family dependent.

Sure. But if you grew up thinking this is completely normal, don’t be surprised if you get weird looks talking openly about family members’ salaries in other people’s company. This would me back away from you and add to my mental avoid list.

[Anonymous]

This is why you don’t talk about salaries. But, young people who have yet to differentiate into families are much more apt to share this information. Later the neighborhood/ house / lifestyle speaks for itself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My brother in law was sharing news that my soon to be graduating niece (college) has landed a job and disclosed the salary to my husband. The salary is a nice salary for a first job, nothing outrageous. I think it is in bad taste to give that detail. My husband disagrees. I just felt like it was bragging and seemed to be said in a competitive vein. We have children, all who are through college. They have varying degrees of success, but I just always give high level details. I just feel as if it is bragging.

Your BIL told his brother this information. It's not like he posted it on Facebook. And your husband, who was actually the one in the situation, thinks it was fine. You're in the wrong here. Also, you sound jealous. I bet your niece outearns your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How ridiculous. It would still be bragging if he just said she got a good job with a good salary. Knowing the number doesn’t make it bragging.

Honestly I think it’s fine to brag about your kids to your siblings. I do it with my siblings and vice versa.

Disagree. Giving the number is exactly what makes it classless. There’s no issue of salary transparency for pay equity in this scenario, so don’t give me that line. My sister was excited when both of her kids got their first jobs out of college, and I was excited for them, but would’ve been so incredibly weird if she shared their salaries. Same with the adult nieces and nephews on my husband’s side. Talking numbers would get you major side eyes. It’s just not done.

And the "not done"'is what keeps the employers in power. Salary transparency would improve many things and get people to understand what different career paths offer in reality.

Please. Take it up with the employers, who can and should provide accurate salary ranges in every job listing. This is not appropriate family dinner conversation.

"not done" is family dependent.

Sure. But if you grew up thinking this is completely normal, don’t be surprised if you get weird looks talking openly about family members’ salaries in other people’s company. This would me back away from you and add to my mental avoid list.

Agree. Totally this! Back far away!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They are brothers. This is really no big deal.

I would never boast of that. My kids are only in elementary.

I don’t work now but my husband makes over a million dollars per year with an equal bonus or more. My mom has prodded but I don’t want to tell her because I know she will brag. She brags about us enough without knowing any numbers.

How much do YOU make? Do YOU contribute $$ financially?