Brother in law sharing salary of niece, bragging?

[Anonymous]

My brother in law was sharing news that my soon to be graduating niece (college) has landed a job and disclosed the salary to my husband. The salary is a nice salary for a first job, nothing outrageous. I think it is in bad taste to give that detail. My husband disagrees. I just felt like it was bragging and seemed to be said in a competitive vein. We have children, all who are through college. They have varying degrees of success, but I just always give high level details. I just feel as if it is bragging.

[Anonymous]

Totally inappropriate for them to share, but what do you plan to do about it?

[Anonymous]

I bet your husband asked or prodded her for the salary.

[Anonymous]

Who. Cares.

[Anonymous]

I think it's become much less taboo to talk salaries, because that's the only way to achieve pay equity and/or make sure employees know the market. So he may just be following her lead - she told him, he told you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My brother in law was sharing news that my soon to be graduating niece (college) has landed a job and disclosed the salary to my husband. The salary is a nice salary for a first job, nothing outrageous. I think it is in bad taste to give that detail. My husband disagrees. I just felt like it was bragging and seemed to be said in a competitive vein. We have children, all who are through college. They have varying degrees of success, but I just always give high level details. I just feel as if it is bragging.

I think you are jealous your niece is successful

[Anonymous]

How ridiculous. It would still be bragging if he just said she got a good job with a good salary. Knowing the number doesn’t make it bragging.

Honestly I think it’s fine to brag about your kids to your siblings. I do it with my siblings and vice versa.

[Anonymous]

I don't really see the issue. They're family. I've heard the salary of a lot of my family members. Not bragging, they're facts.

I'm a federal employee and our salaries are all public knowledge, so are most teachers.

[Anonymous]

They’re brothers. Just stop.

[Anonymous]

Jealous your children won’t do so well, OP?

[Anonymous]

I have a friend that does this all the time. Whenever she is in a conversation, especially with strangers or people she doesn't know well, she will ALWAYS mention her grown children and how they make six figures, just bought a house, bought a new car, and not just any car but a Honda, and on and on. It drives me insane!

[Anonymous]

I think it's always in bad taste to discuss personal finance. He is probably proud of her, but the info will likely make someone else resentful or jealous. Why do that to her?

Don't spread the info.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They’re brothers. Just stop.

+1

[Anonymous]

I like that you go out of your way to point out that the salary is just a regular first job salary, nothing to write home about, but then how is sharing it bragging? If it strikes you as a normal amount, wouldn't you just assume she made ~about that much~ when you heard she got a job? Sounds like you just don't like this BIL, don't like your niece, or are so ready to defend your kids against anyone doing better than them that you can't be proud of other kids.

Option One:
BIL: Larla is going to work at JobCo!
(You, mentally: probably not making much more than 60k, who cares?)

Option Two:
BIL: Larla is going to work at JobCo, making 60k!
(You, mentally: how gauche! I'm going to tell DCUM!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They’re brothers. Just stop.

Your husband was the one having the conversation. If he's fine with it, it's not your problem.