Daughter double-pierced her own ears without my permission

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, You are the parent. It is quite simple, if you do not want her to have them, tell her that she has to remove them immediately. If she does not, ground her, take her phone or something else that will get the point across. Ear piercing is not a big deal, but respect is.

Ok. So the lesson is don’t ask permission then just do what you want. Very respectful that way.

May I ask what you mean exactly? OP said that she had asked prior, but the answer was 'No'.

Next time she won't bother asking. Duh. If mom says no to everything and is unreasonable then why bother asking permission? Just do what you want. Then "oops sorry!" when it turns out she doesn't like it or, God forbid, finds it "trashy". She will smile at you and say she had no idea you would mind. You really can't see how this would play out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did you say no to a double ear piercing for a 15.5yr old? Just curious. What was your reasoning?

NP. I’ve told my daughter no because I think it looks trashy. I think that’s why most parents say no. To each their own.

Same, I agree, it looks trashy. Neither of my DD's got extra piercings.

[Anonymous]

I would talk to her and let her know that you're disappointed she went behind your back and did this. You can relate it to being able to trust her beyond just an ear piercing -- if she did this knowing you didn't approve and had said no, what else might she think is okay to do? We often used driving and using a car as leverage...if we can't trust you on this, how can we trust you behind the wheel of a 3200 lb. car that can be deadly?

Yes, kids "do" stuff, but that doesn't mean parents can't discuss it and share their opinion or thoughts on it.

[Anonymous]

Privileges should be revoked since she didn’t listen to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Privileges should be revoked since she didn’t listen to you.

OP said "no" years ago. This was a long ago conversation. OP should let this one slide if she wants her daughter to keep talking to her otherwise she'll stop asking permission first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would tell her you are disappointed.

Frankly, I’d be happy she was independent enough to do this on her own without my involvement. Also, good for her for this small rebellion—this was a tiny ask and I think OP was being too strict by saying no, great that she just asserted herself and is learning to make her own decisions.

So, no, opposite of disappointed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, You are the parent. It is quite simple, if you do not want her to have them, tell her that she has to remove them immediately. If she does not, ground her, take her phone or something else that will get the point across. Ear piercing is not a big deal, but respect is.

While OP is the parent this is still not their choice to make as it is not their body.

Very respectfully I would like to understand Your viewpoint; Do You truly believe that someone under eighteen can do ANYTHING they want to their body? As we are on the subject of piercings, do You truly believe a fifteen year old should be able to have their nipples or clitoral hood pierced?? Or what about tattoos? and consumption; alcohol? cigarettes? Where is the line? Or is Your belief that there is no line? I am not trying to be aggressive, I genuinely would like to understand .

Are you raising teenagers? Cut and dry, one size fits all “lines” don’t work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did you say no to a double ear piercing for a 15.5yr old? Just curious. What was your reasoning?

NP. I’ve told my daughter no because I think it looks trashy. I think that’s why most parents say no. To each their own.

Same, I agree, it looks trashy. Neither of my DD's got extra piercings.

You again! Popping up on every thread to say this. Multiple piercings are very trendy right now, you are behind the times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old is she?

15.5

Piercing parlors require parental consent for minors. How did she pull this off?

And where did she get the money to pay for it? Piercings are expensive!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old is she?

15.5

Piercing parlors require parental consent for minors. How did she pull this off?

And where did she get the money to pay for it? Piercings are expensive!

I assumed she literally pierced her own ears. Just like I did in the 90s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old is she?

15.5

You are mourning the lack of control you have over your teen.

[Anonymous]

Op - are you around? Any chance you want to clarify 5 pages of questions?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did you say no to a double ear piercing for a 15.5yr old? Just curious. What was your reasoning?

NP. I’ve told my daughter no because I think it looks trashy. I think that’s why most parents say no. To each their own.

Same, I agree, it looks trashy. Neither of my DD's got extra piercings.

You again! Popping up on every thread to say this. Multiple piercings are very trendy right now, you are behind the times.

Still looks tacky, can't change that fact. Nothing worse than seeing my otherwise gorgeous DH with his sad little hole in the ear when he pierce it when he was younger, screams tacky. I'll stay classic and behind the times, trendy is not something I subscribe to, just me being me. You do you. My DD do not have extra piercings and have thanked me for holding the line when they were younger and impulsive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did you say no to a double ear piercing for a 15.5yr old? Just curious. What was your reasoning?

NP. I’ve told my daughter no because I think it looks trashy. I think that’s why most parents say no. To each their own.

Same, I agree, it looks trashy. Neither of my DD's got extra piercings.

You again! Popping up on every thread to say this. Multiple piercings are very trendy right now, you are behind the times.

Still looks tacky, can't change that fact. Nothing worse than seeing my otherwise gorgeous DH with his sad little hole in the ear when he pierce it when he was younger, screams tacky. I'll stay classic and behind the times, trendy is not something I subscribe to, just me being me. You do you. My DD do not have extra piercings and have thanked me for holding the line when they were younger and impulsive.

Sure they did. I thanked my mom the other day for not being a weirdo and letting me get my second hole when I was 10!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old is she?

15.5

Piercing parlors require parental consent for minors. How did she pull this off?

And where did she get the money to pay for it? Piercings are expensive!

This seems like a violation of law.

Can the police be of any assistance here?