BIL brought dog that growls at children to Christmas dinner

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH claims he explicitly told BIL no dog. Dog ended up being tied up in the freezing cold but BIL still seemed eager to bring the dog in. There were eight kids under 12 in attendance, including two toddlers and two babies.

Previous experience with this dog was Thanksgiving dinner where he brought it without permission and no warning it growls at children. For about the first hour BIL would pin the dog to the floor whenever it growled at a child. As time passed and the dog seemed to relax, BIL helped himself to the dinner I cooked and stopped monitoring the dog, so I was left frantically trying to carry a 20 pound baby around while keeping between the f--king dog and my toddler. DH said "What do you want, I'm eating!". SIL gaslighted me saying "It's not a pitbull".

No apology forthcoming. Clearly he and the other in-laws don't think he did anything wrong.

I am considering the nuclear option and reporting the dog to the city. If I did that I would be the big bad meanie forever of the family. Amazingly, BIL is a licensed childcare provider and works in a public school as some kind of an aid for people with special needs.

Is it an over-reaction to report the dog?

So let me get this straight. A month ago this dog growled at children. Every person there, including your DH was not concerned. Given that there were 8 kids there, I assume that the parents of these kids were not concerned. And nobody was hurt.
A few days ago you were at a separate event where the dog was kept outside. No growling and no incident.

What is the issue?

The first event I was hosting and it was only my children. He lied and said he asked permission. He did not.

Second event was the Airbnb potluck. He would have brought the dog into the house with 8 kids had I not thrown a tempter tantrum. Ironically I did leave with the baby and had McDonald's for Christmas dinner, after cooking for an hour and running errands getting last minute items for the group dinner. My husband stayed with the two olders but the whole event was ruined for us.

So he brings the dog, you tell him the dog can't be around the children, so the dog stays outside the whole time. Yet you leave and eat McDonalds anyway? It certainly didn't have to be ruined at all. You chose to let it be ruined.

1. I was extremely mad and not in the mood to enjoy dinner with irresponsible @holes
2. Had I not pitched a fit he may have tried to sneak the dog in. He had repeatedly shown sneaking behavior and disregard to parental preferences.

Look, I'm not saying the guy was in the right to bring his dog. He likely wasn't. But you made the choice to let it ruin your day.

I will absolutely not be gaslighted about safety issues around my children. If that constitutes letting it ruin my day, so be it.

No one is gaslighting you. In fact, it seems to very much be the other way around. There is not a safety issue here. There is the POTENTIAL for a safety issue, but your actual issue is that you're mad at your husband's family for not kowtowing to your "parental preferences."

Any reputable source on dog behavior will tell you a dog that growls at children is dangerous around children. Stop gaslighting. Gaslighting is narcissistic abuse. I'm not having it from anybody.

Yes, it appears *literally everyone* is a narcissist who is out to get you. Safe to assume this is not the only thing you have…loudly…demanded of your in-laws so, to be fair to them, they probably think you’re just off your meds and not sure what to take seriously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH claims he explicitly told BIL no dog. Dog ended up being tied up in the freezing cold but BIL still seemed eager to bring the dog in. There were eight kids under 12 in attendance, including two toddlers and two babies.

Previous experience with this dog was Thanksgiving dinner where he brought it without permission and no warning it growls at children. For about the first hour BIL would pin the dog to the floor whenever it growled at a child. As time passed and the dog seemed to relax, BIL helped himself to the dinner I cooked and stopped monitoring the dog, so I was left frantically trying to carry a 20 pound baby around while keeping between the f--king dog and my toddler. DH said "What do you want, I'm eating!". SIL gaslighted me saying "It's not a pitbull".

No apology forthcoming. Clearly he and the other in-laws don't think he did anything wrong.

I am considering the nuclear option and reporting the dog to the city. If I did that I would be the big bad meanie forever of the family. Amazingly, BIL is a licensed childcare provider and works in a public school as some kind of an aid for people with special needs.

Is it an over-reaction to report the dog?

So let me get this straight. A month ago this dog growled at children. Every person there, including your DH was not concerned. Given that there were 8 kids there, I assume that the parents of these kids were not concerned. And nobody was hurt.
A few days ago you were at a separate event where the dog was kept outside. No growling and no incident.

What is the issue?

The first event I was hosting and it was only my children. He lied and said he asked permission. He did not.

Second event was the Airbnb potluck. He would have brought the dog into the house with 8 kids had I not thrown a tempter tantrum. Ironically I did leave with the baby and had McDonald's for Christmas dinner, after cooking for an hour and running errands getting last minute items for the group dinner. My husband stayed with the two olders but the whole event was ruined for us.

So he brings the dog, you tell him the dog can't be around the children, so the dog stays outside the whole time. Yet you leave and eat McDonalds anyway? It certainly didn't have to be ruined at all. You chose to let it be ruined.

1. I was extremely mad and not in the mood to enjoy dinner with irresponsible @holes
2. Had I not pitched a fit he may have tried to sneak the dog in. He had repeatedly shown sneaking behavior and disregard to parental preferences.

Look, I'm not saying the guy was in the right to bring his dog. He likely wasn't. But you made the choice to let it ruin your day.

I will absolutely not be gaslighted about safety issues around my children. If that constitutes letting it ruin my day, so be it.

No one is gaslighting you. In fact, it seems to very much be the other way around. There is not a safety issue here. There is the POTENTIAL for a safety issue, but your actual issue is that you're mad at your husband's family for not kowtowing to your "parental preferences."

Any reputable source on dog behavior will tell you a dog that growls at children is dangerous around children. Stop gaslighting. Gaslighting is narcissistic abuse. I'm not having it from anybody.

DP. I'm on your side that the dog should not be around children but accusing people of gaslighting for pointing out that a dog tied up outside isn't going to hurt your children inside makes you seem off your rocker. No one is gaslighting or abusing you on this website.

He has repeated behavior of lying and sneaking. He violated my trust. I cannot trust he won't try to sneak the dog in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH claims he explicitly told BIL no dog. Dog ended up being tied up in the freezing cold but BIL still seemed eager to bring the dog in. There were eight kids under 12 in attendance, including two toddlers and two babies.

Previous experience with this dog was Thanksgiving dinner where he brought it without permission and no warning it growls at children. For about the first hour BIL would pin the dog to the floor whenever it growled at a child. As time passed and the dog seemed to relax, BIL helped himself to the dinner I cooked and stopped monitoring the dog, so I was left frantically trying to carry a 20 pound baby around while keeping between the f--king dog and my toddler. DH said "What do you want, I'm eating!". SIL gaslighted me saying "It's not a pitbull".

No apology forthcoming. Clearly he and the other in-laws don't think he did anything wrong.

I am considering the nuclear option and reporting the dog to the city. If I did that I would be the big bad meanie forever of the family. Amazingly, BIL is a licensed childcare provider and works in a public school as some kind of an aid for people with special needs.

Is it an over-reaction to report the dog?

So let me get this straight. A month ago this dog growled at children. Every person there, including your DH was not concerned. Given that there were 8 kids there, I assume that the parents of these kids were not concerned. And nobody was hurt.
A few days ago you were at a separate event where the dog was kept outside. No growling and no incident.

What is the issue?

The first event I was hosting and it was only my children. He lied and said he asked permission. He did not.

Second event was the Airbnb potluck. He would have brought the dog into the house with 8 kids had I not thrown a tempter tantrum. Ironically I did leave with the baby and had McDonald's for Christmas dinner, after cooking for an hour and running errands getting last minute items for the group dinner. My husband stayed with the two olders but the whole event was ruined for us.

So he brings the dog, you tell him the dog can't be around the children, so the dog stays outside the whole time. Yet you leave and eat McDonalds anyway? It certainly didn't have to be ruined at all. You chose to let it be ruined.

1. I was extremely mad and not in the mood to enjoy dinner with irresponsible @holes
2. Had I not pitched a fit he may have tried to sneak the dog in. He had repeatedly shown sneaking behavior and disregard to parental preferences.

Look, I'm not saying the guy was in the right to bring his dog. He likely wasn't. But you made the choice to let it ruin your day.

I will absolutely not be gaslighted about safety issues around my children. If that constitutes letting it ruin my day, so be it.

No one is gaslighting you. In fact, it seems to very much be the other way around. There is not a safety issue here. There is the POTENTIAL for a safety issue, but your actual issue is that you're mad at your husband's family for not kowtowing to your "parental preferences."

Any reputable source on dog behavior will tell you a dog that growls at children is dangerous around children. Stop gaslighting. Gaslighting is narcissistic abuse. I'm not having it from anybody.

Yes, it appears *literally everyone* is a narcissist who is out to get you. Safe to assume this is not the only thing you have…loudly…demanded of your in-laws so, to be fair to them, they probably think you’re just off your meds and not sure what to take seriously.

That's fine. I'm happy to be every bad adjective in the thesaurus if it spares stitches in my kid's face.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH claims he explicitly told BIL no dog. Dog ended up being tied up in the freezing cold but BIL still seemed eager to bring the dog in. There were eight kids under 12 in attendance, including two toddlers and two babies.

Previous experience with this dog was Thanksgiving dinner where he brought it without permission and no warning it growls at children. For about the first hour BIL would pin the dog to the floor whenever it growled at a child. As time passed and the dog seemed to relax, BIL helped himself to the dinner I cooked and stopped monitoring the dog, so I was left frantically trying to carry a 20 pound baby around while keeping between the f--king dog and my toddler. DH said "What do you want, I'm eating!". SIL gaslighted me saying "It's not a pitbull".

No apology forthcoming. Clearly he and the other in-laws don't think he did anything wrong.

I am considering the nuclear option and reporting the dog to the city. If I did that I would be the big bad meanie forever of the family. Amazingly, BIL is a licensed childcare provider and works in a public school as some kind of an aid for people with special needs.

Is it an over-reaction to report the dog?

So let me get this straight. A month ago this dog growled at children. Every person there, including your DH was not concerned. Given that there were 8 kids there, I assume that the parents of these kids were not concerned. And nobody was hurt.
A few days ago you were at a separate event where the dog was kept outside. No growling and no incident.

What is the issue?

The first event I was hosting and it was only my children. He lied and said he asked permission. He did not.

Second event was the Airbnb potluck. He would have brought the dog into the house with 8 kids had I not thrown a tempter tantrum. Ironically I did leave with the baby and had McDonald's for Christmas dinner, after cooking for an hour and running errands getting last minute items for the group dinner. My husband stayed with the two olders but the whole event was ruined for us.

OP, the more you post, the less sympathy I have for your situation, and I say that as a person who is super vigilant about dogs around my kids. Your BIL didn't ruin your Christmas. Neither did your husband. That was all you. It is completely inappropriate to make rules for someone else's event in someone else's space. That it was an AirBNB is irrelevant unless it was YOUR AirBNB, but it wasn't. You threw a temper tantrum and left with your baby why, exactly? Because your BIL didn't want to tie his dog up outside? Because other people didn't agree with your overreaction? If I was your husband, I would be absolutely furious with you for this whole situation. You are justifying extreme overreactions and rudeness as "protecting your children" and it ruined Christmas dinner. You are the only one doing any any damage here and you owe everyone a giant apology.

That's fine. No more Christmas dinners. I'm not hosting 20 people in my 2 bedroom apartment. I'm not cooking for an hour and spending money to have McDonald's for dinner. If my MIL wants to choice her adult son's feelings for his dog over seeing her grandchildren, fine with me. I don't like her as a person anyway.

You do not actually have the moral high ground here, OP. It's clear that you feel that your behavior was justified. Not everyone agrees with you, and your behavior got pretty nasty on this site. It's not hard to extrapolate the way you behaved on Christmas being similarly unpleasant.

You seem to be forgetting that your children aren't just yours. This is your husband's family. You cannot prohibit them from seeing his family without his agreement, and it sounds like he does not agree that this is reasonable.

How did the conversation you had with your husband about Christmas dinner go, when it happened? Since this felt like such an emergency, I'm sure you initiated a respectful conversation with him about how to keep your children safe. What did he have to say?

[Anonymous]

You were the only one concerned about the dog and you pitched a fit about the danger the dog poses to the children, which is the only reason why the dog was kept outside. Then you went home with the baby, but left your older kids there. Why? What makes you think the dog stayed outside after you left?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH claims he explicitly told BIL no dog. Dog ended up being tied up in the freezing cold but BIL still seemed eager to bring the dog in. There were eight kids under 12 in attendance, including two toddlers and two babies.

Previous experience with this dog was Thanksgiving dinner where he brought it without permission and no warning it growls at children. For about the first hour BIL would pin the dog to the floor whenever it growled at a child. As time passed and the dog seemed to relax, BIL helped himself to the dinner I cooked and stopped monitoring the dog, so I was left frantically trying to carry a 20 pound baby around while keeping between the f--king dog and my toddler. DH said "What do you want, I'm eating!". SIL gaslighted me saying "It's not a pitbull".

No apology forthcoming. Clearly he and the other in-laws don't think he did anything wrong.

I am considering the nuclear option and reporting the dog to the city. If I did that I would be the big bad meanie forever of the family. Amazingly, BIL is a licensed childcare provider and works in a public school as some kind of an aid for people with special needs.

Is it an over-reaction to report the dog?

So let me get this straight. A month ago this dog growled at children. Every person there, including your DH was not concerned. Given that there were 8 kids there, I assume that the parents of these kids were not concerned. And nobody was hurt.
A few days ago you were at a separate event where the dog was kept outside. No growling and no incident.

What is the issue?

The first event I was hosting and it was only my children. He lied and said he asked permission. He did not.

Second event was the Airbnb potluck. He would have brought the dog into the house with 8 kids had I not thrown a tempter tantrum. Ironically I did leave with the baby and had McDonald's for Christmas dinner, after cooking for an hour and running errands getting last minute items for the group dinner. My husband stayed with the two olders but the whole event was ruined for us.

OP, the more you post, the less sympathy I have for your situation, and I say that as a person who is super vigilant about dogs around my kids. Your BIL didn't ruin your Christmas. Neither did your husband. That was all you. It is completely inappropriate to make rules for someone else's event in someone else's space. That it was an AirBNB is irrelevant unless it was YOUR AirBNB, but it wasn't. You threw a temper tantrum and left with your baby why, exactly? Because your BIL didn't want to tie his dog up outside? Because other people didn't agree with your overreaction? If I was your husband, I would be absolutely furious with you for this whole situation. You are justifying extreme overreactions and rudeness as "protecting your children" and it ruined Christmas dinner. You are the only one doing any any damage here and you owe everyone a giant apology.

That's fine. No more Christmas dinners. I'm not hosting 20 people in my 2 bedroom apartment. I'm not cooking for an hour and spending money to have McDonald's for dinner. If my MIL wants to choice her adult son's feelings for his dog over seeing her grandchildren, fine with me. I don't like her as a person anyway.

You do not actually have the moral high ground here, OP. It's clear that you feel that your behavior was justified. Not everyone agrees with you, and your behavior got pretty nasty on this site. It's not hard to extrapolate the way you behaved on Christmas being similarly unpleasant.

You seem to be forgetting that your children aren't just yours. This is your husband's family. You cannot prohibit them from seeing his family without his agreement, and it sounds like he does not agree that this is reasonable.

How did the conversation you had with your husband about Christmas dinner go, when it happened? Since this felt like such an emergency, I'm sure you initiated a respectful conversation with him about how to keep your children safe. What did he have to say?

I literally did not get past the threshhold of the door. I turned around and left.

My husband agrees the dog is dangerous.

I am perfectly happy to be nasty if that is what's necessary. I can be the villain.

I do have absolute veto power on safety. Sorry not sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You were the only one concerned about the dog and you pitched a fit about the danger the dog poses to the children, which is the only reason why the dog was kept outside. Then you went home with the baby, but left your older kids there. Why? What makes you think the dog stayed outside after you left?

My husband claims the dog was left outside, but you're right, I should have packed up the kids. Lesson learned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it possible that the dog was growling because the kids were messing with it and the dog wanted them to stop?

What exactly is your point? I’ve read your post 10 times and can’t find it.

[Anonymous]

Dude, if a guest brought an unwanted dog to my house after I had told them "no dog", I would ask them to leave immediately. Absolutely not. I hate dogs and I have a DC with a dog/cat allergy.

Why would you leave and the BIL/dog stay? Is this not your house? That's a jerk move by BIL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it possible that the dog was growling because the kids were messing with it and the dog wanted them to stop?

What exactly is your point? I’ve read your post 10 times and can’t find it.

The dog is some kind of rescue and appears nervous around children. I cannot fathom why he tried to bring it into a small condo with 8 strange kids. I guess it is some kind of ego thing where he's going to prove how great of a dog trainer he is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dude, if a guest brought an unwanted dog to my house after I had told them "no dog", I would ask them to leave immediately. Absolutely not. I hate dogs and I have a DC with a dog/cat allergy.

Why would you leave and the BIL/dog stay? Is this not your house? That's a jerk move by BIL

It was an AirBnB rented by MIL. We were told by her no dogs were allowed so the dog should not be a problem.

[Anonymous]

What did your husband say OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What did your husband say OP?

He thinks the dogs behavior is dangerous but he doesn't want to cut off ties with family. Other than having them over for coffee, I don't know what kind of relationship they can have with their grandmother if BIL thinks he can show up with a dangerous dog. It would take a wall of text to explain, but MIL has problems herself. Has lost custody of her kids. Drug issues. I think I have legitimate reason to think the kids are not safe around the in-laws outside our residence.

The people saying it's not my AirBnB do I don't get to make the rules are giving me alot of insight into their behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH claims he explicitly told BIL no dog. Dog ended up being tied up in the freezing cold but BIL still seemed eager to bring the dog in. There were eight kids under 12 in attendance, including two toddlers and two babies.

Previous experience with this dog was Thanksgiving dinner where he brought it without permission and no warning it growls at children. For about the first hour BIL would pin the dog to the floor whenever it growled at a child. As time passed and the dog seemed to relax, BIL helped himself to the dinner I cooked and stopped monitoring the dog, so I was left frantically trying to carry a 20 pound baby around while keeping between the f--king dog and my toddler. DH said "What do you want, I'm eating!". SIL gaslighted me saying "It's not a pitbull".

No apology forthcoming. Clearly he and the other in-laws don't think he did anything wrong.

I am considering the nuclear option and reporting the dog to the city. If I did that I would be the big bad meanie forever of the family. Amazingly, BIL is a licensed childcare provider and works in a public school as some kind of an aid for people with special needs.

Is it an over-reaction to report the dog?

So let me get this straight. A month ago this dog growled at children. Every person there, including your DH was not concerned. Given that there were 8 kids there, I assume that the parents of these kids were not concerned. And nobody was hurt.
A few days ago you were at a separate event where the dog was kept outside. No growling and no incident.

What is the issue?

The first event I was hosting and it was only my children. He lied and said he asked permission. He did not.

Second event was the Airbnb potluck. He would have brought the dog into the house with 8 kids had I not thrown a tempter tantrum. Ironically I did leave with the baby and had McDonald's for Christmas dinner, after cooking for an hour and running errands getting last minute items for the group dinner. My husband stayed with the two olders but the whole event was ruined for us.

So he brings the dog, you tell him the dog can't be around the children, so the dog stays outside the whole time. Yet you leave and eat McDonalds anyway? It certainly didn't have to be ruined at all. You chose to let it be ruined.

1. I was extremely mad and not in the mood to enjoy dinner with irresponsible @holes
2. Had I not pitched a fit he may have tried to sneak the dog in. He had repeatedly shown sneaking behavior and disregard to parental preferences.

Look, I'm not saying the guy was in the right to bring his dog. He likely wasn't. But you made the choice to let it ruin your day.

I will absolutely not be gaslighted about safety issues around my children. If that constitutes letting it ruin my day, so be it.

No one is gaslighting you. In fact, it seems to very much be the other way around. There is not a safety issue here. There is the POTENTIAL for a safety issue, but your actual issue is that you're mad at your husband's family for not kowtowing to your "parental preferences."

Any reputable source on dog behavior will tell you a dog that growls at children is dangerous around children. Stop gaslighting. Gaslighting is narcissistic abuse. I'm not having it from anybody.

DP. I'm on your side that the dog should not be around children but accusing people of gaslighting for pointing out that a dog tied up outside isn't going to hurt your children inside makes you seem off your rocker. No one is gaslighting or abusing you on this website.

She didn't say that it was gaslighting when her SIL said the dog was tied up. She said it was gaslighting when SIL said that at Thanksgiving when the dog was growling at toddlers and being physically disciplined for doing so (which is how you train dogs to attack toddlers) the dog wasn't dangerous because it wasn't a pitbull.

I'm not sure I agree that it's gaslighting, but it's a ridiculous statement. I'm the PP whose goddaughter was attacked, and that dog was not a pitbull. Child ended up with 100s of stitches, and multiple surgeries even though the owner pulled him off in the first minute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH claims he explicitly told BIL no dog. Dog ended up being tied up in the freezing cold but BIL still seemed eager to bring the dog in. There were eight kids under 12 in attendance, including two toddlers and two babies.

Previous experience with this dog was Thanksgiving dinner where he brought it without permission and no warning it growls at children. For about the first hour BIL would pin the dog to the floor whenever it growled at a child. As time passed and the dog seemed to relax, BIL helped himself to the dinner I cooked and stopped monitoring the dog, so I was left frantically trying to carry a 20 pound baby around while keeping between the f--king dog and my toddler. DH said "What do you want, I'm eating!". SIL gaslighted me saying "It's not a pitbull".

No apology forthcoming. Clearly he and the other in-laws don't think he did anything wrong.

I am considering the nuclear option and reporting the dog to the city. If I did that I would be the big bad meanie forever of the family. Amazingly, BIL is a licensed childcare provider and works in a public school as some kind of an aid for people with special needs.

Is it an over-reaction to report the dog?

So let me get this straight. A month ago this dog growled at children. Every person there, including your DH was not concerned. Given that there were 8 kids there, I assume that the parents of these kids were not concerned. And nobody was hurt.
A few days ago you were at a separate event where the dog was kept outside. No growling and no incident.

What is the issue?

The first event I was hosting and it was only my children. He lied and said he asked permission. He did not.

Second event was the Airbnb potluck. He would have brought the dog into the house with 8 kids had I not thrown a tempter tantrum. Ironically I did leave with the baby and had McDonald's for Christmas dinner, after cooking for an hour and running errands getting last minute items for the group dinner. My husband stayed with the two olders but the whole event was ruined for us.

So he brings the dog, you tell him the dog can't be around the children, so the dog stays outside the whole time. Yet you leave and eat McDonalds anyway? It certainly didn't have to be ruined at all. You chose to let it be ruined.

1. I was extremely mad and not in the mood to enjoy dinner with irresponsible @holes
2. Had I not pitched a fit he may have tried to sneak the dog in. He had repeatedly shown sneaking behavior and disregard to parental preferences.

Look, I'm not saying the guy was in the right to bring his dog. He likely wasn't. But you made the choice to let it ruin your day.

I will absolutely not be gaslighted about safety issues around my children. If that constitutes letting it ruin my day, so be it.

No one is gaslighting you. In fact, it seems to very much be the other way around. There is not a safety issue here. There is the POTENTIAL for a safety issue, but your actual issue is that you're mad at your husband's family for not kowtowing to your "parental preferences."

Any reputable source on dog behavior will tell you a dog that growls at children is dangerous around children. Stop gaslighting. Gaslighting is narcissistic abuse. I'm not having it from anybody.

DP. I'm on your side that the dog should not be around children but accusing people of gaslighting for pointing out that a dog tied up outside isn't going to hurt your children inside makes you seem off your rocker. No one is gaslighting or abusing you on this website.

She didn't say that it was gaslighting when her SIL said the dog was tied up. She said it was gaslighting when SIL said that at Thanksgiving when the dog was growling at toddlers and being physically disciplined for doing so (which is how you train dogs to attack toddlers) the dog wasn't dangerous because it wasn't a pitbull.

I'm not sure I agree that it's gaslighting, but it's a ridiculous statement. I'm the PP whose goddaughter was attacked, and that dog was not a pitbull. Child ended up with 100s of stitches, and multiple surgeries even though the owner pulled him off in the first minute.

It was gaslighting because she (tried) to make me feel like I'm being a hysterical a-hole for acting like the dog is dangerous when it clearly is.