BIL brought dog that growls at children to Christmas dinner

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I expect at most he would get a warning but he can't play the "Hurngh durrr, I had no idea my dog doesn't like kids" card if/when it does bite someone.

Likely animal control won't document this "report" though. They don't even always properly document bites (in VA). Or if they do, it doesn't matter, because enforcement is what matters.

The point being that it won't solve OP's problem - she needs to not allow the dog in the house.

Is everybody missing the part where the dog was not in her house?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH claims he explicitly told BIL no dog. Dog ended up being tied up in the freezing cold but BIL still seemed eager to bring the dog in. There were eight kids under 12 in attendance, including two toddlers and two babies.

Previous experience with this dog was Thanksgiving dinner where he brought it without permission and no warning it growls at children. For about the first hour BIL would pin the dog to the floor whenever it growled at a child. As time passed and the dog seemed to relax, BIL helped himself to the dinner I cooked and stopped monitoring the dog, so I was left frantically trying to carry a 20 pound baby around while keeping between the f--king dog and my toddler. DH said "What do you want, I'm eating!". SIL gaslighted me saying "It's not a pitbull".

No apology forthcoming. Clearly he and the other in-laws don't think he did anything wrong.

I am considering the nuclear option and reporting the dog to the city. If I did that I would be the big bad meanie forever of the family. Amazingly, BIL is a licensed childcare provider and works in a public school as some kind of an aid for people with special needs.

Is it an over-reaction to report the dog?

So let me get this straight. A month ago this dog growled at children. Every person there, including your DH was not concerned. Given that there were 8 kids there, I assume that the parents of these kids were not concerned. And nobody was hurt.
A few days ago you were at a separate event where the dog was kept outside. No growling and no incident.

What is the issue?

[Anonymous]

OP I agree that was frustrating and stressful. But are you asking to report a growling dog?

Make sure your house rule of no dogs at is in an e-mail so no misunderstanding no dogs allowed. Not outside either.

Your DH should be on your side, but since he won’t act, you must.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Omg, this is a terrible situation. Your BIL doesn’t seem to know (or care!) much about dogs or children. Your house, your rules. You don’t have to allow an unleashed, potentially volatile dog in your house.

What could you report the dog for? The city isn’t going to do anything about growing.

My MIL was hosting at an Arbnb. It was a potluck style thing. I don't see how the location is relevant to bringing a dangerous dog around children, although it does give me insight as to why h felt entitled to bring the dog. I already suspected someone gave him "permission". So does this mean zero family gatherings outside my house?

If it's not your house, that's easy. The second he comes in you pack up your kids and leave. "Oh, I didn't realize that dog would be here. My kids aren't allowed around him. Honey, I love you, we'll see you at home. MIL thanks so much for hosting. Come on kids! Chicken nuggets for Christmas! I know how much you love McDonald's. Daddy will bring your presents when he comes home."

You are insane

[Anonymous]

Be glad you know OP to expect dog to be at gatherings and to be ready to leave. And do it.

And make sure your DH knows what you will do so he can get his own ride home

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH claims he explicitly told BIL no dog. Dog ended up being tied up in the freezing cold but BIL still seemed eager to bring the dog in. There were eight kids under 12 in attendance, including two toddlers and two babies.

Previous experience with this dog was Thanksgiving dinner where he brought it without permission and no warning it growls at children. For about the first hour BIL would pin the dog to the floor whenever it growled at a child. As time passed and the dog seemed to relax, BIL helped himself to the dinner I cooked and stopped monitoring the dog, so I was left frantically trying to carry a 20 pound baby around while keeping between the f--king dog and my toddler. DH said "What do you want, I'm eating!". SIL gaslighted me saying "It's not a pitbull".

No apology forthcoming. Clearly he and the other in-laws don't think he did anything wrong.

I am considering the nuclear option and reporting the dog to the city. If I did that I would be the big bad meanie forever of the family. Amazingly, BIL is a licensed childcare provider and works in a public school as some kind of an aid for people with special needs.

Is it an over-reaction to report the dog?

Is no one gonna mention the 20 POUND BABY?????

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Omg, this is a terrible situation. Your BIL doesn’t seem to know (or care!) much about dogs or children. Your house, your rules. You don’t have to allow an unleashed, potentially volatile dog in your house.

What could you report the dog for? The city isn’t going to do anything about growing.

My MIL was hosting at an Arbnb. It was a potluck style thing. I don't see how the location is relevant to bringing a dangerous dog around children, although it does give me insight as to why h felt entitled to bring the dog. I already suspected someone gave him "permission". So does this mean zero family gatherings outside my house?

If it's not your house, that's easy. The second he comes in you pack up your kids and leave. "Oh, I didn't realize that dog would be here. My kids aren't allowed around him. Honey, I love you, we'll see you at home. MIL thanks so much for hosting. Come on kids! Chicken nuggets for Christmas! I know how much you love McDonald's. Daddy will bring your presents when he comes home."

You are insane

No I am the godparent of a child who was mauled by an animal like this (not a pitbull, history of only growling, owners were sure it was “good with children”).

[Anonymous]

OP why in the world did you let that dog in your house?

Your house your rules. You and DH are stupid. God forbid anyone got bit at your house you are responsible.

I love dogs however not in my house would i allow anyone to bring an aggressive one over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH claims he explicitly told BIL no dog. Dog ended up being tied up in the freezing cold but BIL still seemed eager to bring the dog in. There were eight kids under 12 in attendance, including two toddlers and two babies.

Previous experience with this dog was Thanksgiving dinner where he brought it without permission and no warning it growls at children. For about the first hour BIL would pin the dog to the floor whenever it growled at a child. As time passed and the dog seemed to relax, BIL helped himself to the dinner I cooked and stopped monitoring the dog, so I was left frantically trying to carry a 20 pound baby around while keeping between the f--king dog and my toddler. DH said "What do you want, I'm eating!". SIL gaslighted me saying "It's not a pitbull".

No apology forthcoming. Clearly he and the other in-laws don't think he did anything wrong.

I am considering the nuclear option and reporting the dog to the city. If I did that I would be the big bad meanie forever of the family. Amazingly, BIL is a licensed childcare provider and works in a public school as some kind of an aid for people with special needs.

Is it an over-reaction to report the dog?

Is no one gonna mention the 20 POUND BABY?????

How old do you think counts as a baby? My daughter was almost 20 pounds at six months and she was big but not off the charts big.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH claims he explicitly told BIL no dog. Dog ended up being tied up in the freezing cold but BIL still seemed eager to bring the dog in. There were eight kids under 12 in attendance, including two toddlers and two babies.

Previous experience with this dog was Thanksgiving dinner where he brought it without permission and no warning it growls at children. For about the first hour BIL would pin the dog to the floor whenever it growled at a child. As time passed and the dog seemed to relax, BIL helped himself to the dinner I cooked and stopped monitoring the dog, so I was left frantically trying to carry a 20 pound baby around while keeping between the f--king dog and my toddler. DH said "What do you want, I'm eating!". SIL gaslighted me saying "It's not a pitbull".

No apology forthcoming. Clearly he and the other in-laws don't think he did anything wrong.

I am considering the nuclear option and reporting the dog to the city. If I did that I would be the big bad meanie forever of the family. Amazingly, BIL is a licensed childcare provider and works in a public school as some kind of an aid for people with special needs.

Is it an over-reaction to report the dog?

Your BIL is insane. Dont worry about the dog- just avoid the BIL and then the dog wont be an issue.

[Anonymous]

So dog was tied up outside and never came into contact with anyone and never came inside?! Yes overreaction. Major one. The dog was outside not even near your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH claims he explicitly told BIL no dog. Dog ended up being tied up in the freezing cold but BIL still seemed eager to bring the dog in. There were eight kids under 12 in attendance, including two toddlers and two babies.

Previous experience with this dog was Thanksgiving dinner where he brought it without permission and no warning it growls at children. For about the first hour BIL would pin the dog to the floor whenever it growled at a child. As time passed and the dog seemed to relax, BIL helped himself to the dinner I cooked and stopped monitoring the dog, so I was left frantically trying to carry a 20 pound baby around while keeping between the f--king dog and my toddler. DH said "What do you want, I'm eating!". SIL gaslighted me saying "It's not a pitbull".

No apology forthcoming. Clearly he and the other in-laws don't think he did anything wrong.

I am considering the nuclear option and reporting the dog to the city. If I did that I would be the big bad meanie forever of the family. Amazingly, BIL is a licensed childcare provider and works in a public school as some kind of an aid for people with special needs.

Is it an over-reaction to report the dog?

Is no one gonna mention the 20 POUND BABY?????

How old do you think counts as a baby? My daughter was almost 20 pounds at six months and she was big but not off the charts big.

+1 20 lbs is not that big for an under 12 month old which I would describe as a baby.

[Anonymous]

OP, ignore the crazy dog people. A dog that growls at your children is not a safe dog to have near them. My FIL has a dog like that that has bit a neighbor child and one of the grandkids. But everyone acts like it couldn't be helped. FIL is very self centered and everyone just tolerates it. I and my youngest with special needs just don't visit him anymore. He doesn't seem to care. It's certainly no loss to my child.

Just continue to keep the dog away from your kids. If it seems like a situation where that will not be possible, refuse to bring your children.

[Anonymous]

Your BIL is a terrible person and your family is really irritating.

I would email everyone to explain that I could not enjoy my own holiday meal because I had to keep a baby away from a growling dog. I would point out that even though they think a growling dog isn't dangerous, everyone else knows that it is. Therefore,you refuse to allow that sort of danger in your house from now on, particularly as NO ONE helped you manage the dog because they were all gorging themselves. So the dog is not allowed on your property henceforth. Alternative arrangements have to be made for his care, as of course BIL is always welcome.

That's what you'll write. Now, if BIL takes offense and declines future invites, it might be a relief!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP why in the world did you let that dog in your house?

Your house your rules. You and DH are stupid. God forbid anyone got bit at your house you are responsible.

I love dogs however not in my house would i allow anyone to bring an aggressive one over.

This is not at OP’s house.