BIL brought dog that growls at children to Christmas dinner

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Your BIL is a terrible person and your family is really irritating.

I would email everyone to explain that I could not enjoy my own holiday meal because I had to keep a baby away from a growling dog. I would point out that even though they think a growling dog isn't dangerous, everyone else knows that it is. Therefore,you refuse to allow that sort of danger in your house from now on, particularly as NO ONE helped you manage the dog because they were all gorging themselves. So the dog is not allowed on your property henceforth. Alternative arrangements have to be made for his care, as of course BIL is always welcome.

That's what you'll write. Now, if BIL takes offense and declines future invites, it might be a relief!

Sorry, I did not see that it was at an AirBnB. That's really tricky. I would work on your husband to get his support to request that the dog not come next time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Your BIL is a terrible person and your family is really irritating.

I would email everyone to explain that I could not enjoy my own holiday meal because I had to keep a baby away from a growling dog. I would point out that even though they think a growling dog isn't dangerous, everyone else knows that it is. Therefore,you refuse to allow that sort of danger in your house from now on, particularly as NO ONE helped you manage the dog because they were all gorging themselves. So the dog is not allowed on your property henceforth. Alternative arrangements have to be made for his care, as of course BIL is always welcome.

That's what you'll write. Now, if BIL takes offense and declines future invites, it might be a relief!

Sorry, I did not see that it was at an AirBnB. That's really tricky. I would work on your husband to get his support to request that the dog not come next time.

Did you also not see that the dog was kept outside the whole time and not near the children at all?

[Anonymous]

OP: I have several dogs (adopted from shelters) and have had dogs throughout most of my life. I am a dog lover. Your BIL is wrong. A growling dog is a dangerous dog & should not be allowed near children.

If BIL continues to bring dog & leaving with your children is not an option, then growling dog must wear a secure muzzle & should be tied up to a restricted area in the house or while wearing the muzzle, placed in a room with the door closed. Children must stay away from the dog.

I am an experienced, adult dog owner and I would be afraid of a growling dog.

Bad BIL, bad, bad BIL. Sit.

I would be angry & fearful in your situation. OP: Your primary purpose in life is to protect your children.

Animal control will not respond to a complaint about a growling dog.

Veterinarians can & will provide tranquilizing medication for the dog if requested by dog's owner in order to protect children in this situation. Regardless, a secure muzzle for the growling dog is necessary at all times while children are nearby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: I have several dogs (adopted from shelters) and have had dogs throughout most of my life. I am a dog lover. Your BIL is wrong. A growling dog is a dangerous dog & should not be allowed near children.

If BIL continues to bring dog & leaving with your children is not an option, then growling dog must wear a secure muzzle & should be tied up to a restricted area in the house or while wearing the muzzle, placed in a room with the door closed. Children must stay away from the dog.

I am an experienced, adult dog owner and I would be afraid of a growling dog.

Bad BIL, bad, bad BIL. Sit.

I would be angry & fearful in your situation. OP: Your primary purpose in life is to protect your children.

Animal control will not respond to a complaint about a growling dog.

Veterinarians can & will provide tranquilizing medication for the dog if requested by dog's owner in order to protect children in this situation. Regardless, a secure muzzle for the growling dog is necessary at all times while children are nearby.

I swear people do not read. After the first encounter at Tgiving, the owner kept the dog tied up outside nowhere near the children.

So even if BIL was in the wrong in November, the most recent event was perfectly acceptable.

[Anonymous]

Lol. Please report the dog. Let us know how that goes.

My family member has a pitbull and I will not under any circumstances allow my kids around pitbulls. We do not attend gatherings where we know the dog will be present. That means missing things, and certainly not hosting, and I’m not resentful in the slightest because I know it’s just a difference in opinion and it’s fine. Setting rules for your family is fine, but you can’t control other people.

[Anonymous]

Agree with immediate PP.

BIL is not a good dog owner. He doesn’t know what he is doing with that dog. He is bringing a reactive dog into an unfamiliar environment with unfamiliar people not all of whom behave predictably (kids are kids). Not responsible.

Were I you, OP, for the next year:

I would not host any family events.
I would attend family events others host but let DH know that if the dog is present and not properly restrained - define this in advance - you will take the kids and go home.

Calling animal control will get you nowhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: I have several dogs (adopted from shelters) and have had dogs throughout most of my life. I am a dog lover. Your BIL is wrong. A growling dog is a dangerous dog & should not be allowed near children.

If BIL continues to bring dog & leaving with your children is not an option, then growling dog must wear a secure muzzle & should be tied up to a restricted area in the house or while wearing the muzzle, placed in a room with the door closed. Children must stay away from the dog.

I am an experienced, adult dog owner and I would be afraid of a growling dog.

Bad BIL, bad, bad BIL. Sit.

I would be angry & fearful in your situation. OP: Your primary purpose in life is to protect your children.

Animal control will not respond to a complaint about a growling dog.

Veterinarians can & will provide tranquilizing medication for the dog if requested by dog's owner in order to protect children in this situation. Regardless, a secure muzzle for the growling dog is necessary at all times while children are nearby.

I swear people do not read. After the first encounter at Tgiving, the owner kept the dog tied up outside nowhere near the children.

So even if BIL was in the wrong in November, the most recent event was perfectly acceptable.

Not for the dog. The BIL is a bad owner.

[Anonymous]

I'm so confused. Are you trying to report the dog for growling at Thanksgiving?

Or for being tied up outside during Christmas?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: I have several dogs (adopted from shelters) and have had dogs throughout most of my life. I am a dog lover. Your BIL is wrong. A growling dog is a dangerous dog & should not be allowed near children.

If BIL continues to bring dog & leaving with your children is not an option, then growling dog must wear a secure muzzle & should be tied up to a restricted area in the house or while wearing the muzzle, placed in a room with the door closed. Children must stay away from the dog.

I am an experienced, adult dog owner and I would be afraid of a growling dog.

Bad BIL, bad, bad BIL. Sit.

I would be angry & fearful in your situation. OP: Your primary purpose in life is to protect your children.

Animal control will not respond to a complaint about a growling dog.

Veterinarians can & will provide tranquilizing medication for the dog if requested by dog's owner in order to protect children in this situation. Regardless, a secure muzzle for the growling dog is necessary at all times while children are nearby.

I swear people do not read. After the first encounter at Tgiving, the owner kept the dog tied up outside nowhere near the children.

So even if BIL was in the wrong in November, the most recent event was perfectly acceptable.

People read, but people may not obsess over your focus. Some folks post helpful comments, while others just want to criticize others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: I have several dogs (adopted from shelters) and have had dogs throughout most of my life. I am a dog lover. Your BIL is wrong. A growling dog is a dangerous dog & should not be allowed near children.

If BIL continues to bring dog & leaving with your children is not an option, then growling dog must wear a secure muzzle & should be tied up to a restricted area in the house or while wearing the muzzle, placed in a room with the door closed. Children must stay away from the dog.

I am an experienced, adult dog owner and I would be afraid of a growling dog.

Bad BIL, bad, bad BIL. Sit.

I would be angry & fearful in your situation. OP: Your primary purpose in life is to protect your children.

Animal control will not respond to a complaint about a growling dog.

Veterinarians can & will provide tranquilizing medication for the dog if requested by dog's owner in order to protect children in this situation. Regardless, a secure muzzle for the growling dog is necessary at all times while children are nearby.

I swear people do not read. After the first encounter at Tgiving, the owner kept the dog tied up outside nowhere near the children.

So even if BIL was in the wrong in November, the most recent event was perfectly acceptable.

People read, but people may not obsess over your focus. Some folks post helpful comments, while others just want to criticize others.

PP here. Apologies for my tone. My attempt at a helpful comment is to say that yes, it would be an overreaction to report the dog. And if the dog is restrained and outside then I don't think OP needs to be concerned. She can certainly say that she won't have her kids in the same space as that dog. It appears that she made her point well in November as adjustments were made prior to the most recent event.

[Anonymous]

You can’t report a dog for growling. You could have been reported for leaving it outside on a free zing day though. BIL should not bring the dog I get that and agree with you. But there wasn’t a bedroom or bathroom the dog could have stayed in with a blanket to lay on instead of outside. This poor dog had horrific people all around….

[Anonymous]

Summary: BIL brought dog to T-giving where it growled at kids. BIL brought dog to Christmas where it stayed outside and tied up, even though he wished he could have brought it inside.

Sounds like BIL got the message and I would hold firm on not letting this dog around your kids. No, there is nothing to report. People are desperate for connection and our society is fracturing due to technology and politics. People are turning to animals to feel loved. You have to keep your kids safe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH claims he explicitly told BIL no dog. Dog ended up being tied up in the freezing cold but BIL still seemed eager to bring the dog in. There were eight kids under 12 in attendance, including two toddlers and two babies.

Previous experience with this dog was Thanksgiving dinner where he brought it without permission and no warning it growls at children. For about the first hour BIL would pin the dog to the floor whenever it growled at a child. As time passed and the dog seemed to relax, BIL helped himself to the dinner I cooked and stopped monitoring the dog, so I was left frantically trying to carry a 20 pound baby around while keeping between the f--king dog and my toddler. DH said "What do you want, I'm eating!". SIL gaslighted me saying "It's not a pitbull".

No apology forthcoming. Clearly he and the other in-laws don't think he did anything wrong.

I am considering the nuclear option and reporting the dog to the city. If I did that I would be the big bad meanie forever of the family. Amazingly, BIL is a licensed childcare provider and works in a public school as some kind of an aid for people with special needs.

Is it an over-reaction to report the dog?

So let me get this straight. A month ago this dog growled at children. Every person there, including your DH was not concerned. Given that there were 8 kids there, I assume that the parents of these kids were not concerned. And nobody was hurt.
A few days ago you were at a separate event where the dog was kept outside. No growling and no incident.

What is the issue?

The first event I was hosting and it was only my children. He lied and said he asked permission. He did not.

Second event was the Airbnb potluck. He would have brought the dog into the house with 8 kids had I not thrown a tempter tantrum. Ironically I did leave with the baby and had McDonald's for Christmas dinner, after cooking for an hour and running errands getting last minute items for the group dinner. My husband stayed with the two olders but the whole event was ruined for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I swear people do not read. After the first encounter at Tgiving, the owner kept the dog tied up outside nowhere near the children.

So even if BIL was in the wrong in November, the most recent event was perfectly acceptable.

To be fair, OP wrote the story in a very confusing way. She begins by describing Christmas and how the dog was outside but BIL 'was eager' to let the dog in. She doesn't follow up with the result of whether the dog comes in or not even though the title of the thread is about a growling dog coming to Christmas dinner, which implies the dog was growling inside at Christmas dinner. Then she ends with a question about reporting the dog, presumably for Thanksgiving behavior, which was over a month ago!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH claims he explicitly told BIL no dog. Dog ended up being tied up in the freezing cold but BIL still seemed eager to bring the dog in. There were eight kids under 12 in attendance, including two toddlers and two babies.

Previous experience with this dog was Thanksgiving dinner where he brought it without permission and no warning it growls at children. For about the first hour BIL would pin the dog to the floor whenever it growled at a child. As time passed and the dog seemed to relax, BIL helped himself to the dinner I cooked and stopped monitoring the dog, so I was left frantically trying to carry a 20 pound baby around while keeping between the f--king dog and my toddler. DH said "What do you want, I'm eating!". SIL gaslighted me saying "It's not a pitbull".

No apology forthcoming. Clearly he and the other in-laws don't think he did anything wrong.

I am considering the nuclear option and reporting the dog to the city. If I did that I would be the big bad meanie forever of the family. Amazingly, BIL is a licensed childcare provider and works in a public school as some kind of an aid for people with special needs.

Is it an over-reaction to report the dog?

So let me get this straight. A month ago this dog growled at children. Every person there, including your DH was not concerned. Given that there were 8 kids there, I assume that the parents of these kids were not concerned. And nobody was hurt.
A few days ago you were at a separate event where the dog was kept outside. No growling and no incident.

What is the issue?

The first event I was hosting and it was only my children. He lied and said he asked permission. He did not.

Second event was the Airbnb potluck. He would have brought the dog into the house with 8 kids had I not thrown a tempter tantrum. Ironically I did leave with the baby and had McDonald's for Christmas dinner, after cooking for an hour and running errands getting last minute items for the group dinner. My husband stayed with the two olders but the whole event was ruined for us.

At Christmas, why did you leave if the dog was outside?
When the event was at your house, why didn't you or your husband tell BIL to put the dog outside or leave with the dog?