Friends are mocking my credit card

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Was this around dc/VA? I feel like there are so many active duty military and spouses in this area that use that card?

No, it was back home in a large Midwestern city over Thanksgiving. But yes, I know tons of spouses with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have weirdo friends.

No. OP is the weirdo. Sad part is that she is actually an adult married woman. This is a '13 yr old middle school girl with issues' kind of behavior! Yikes.

Yes, I've posted here before about feeling like a child and wondering what's wrong with me that I'm always faking be an adult. Sorry some of us struggle with those things.

[Anonymous]

Ditch those friends and find people who actually care about you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP wrote: "Fee is waived since DH is in the military." Otherwise, the annual fee is $695.

OP: Your friends probably think that you are paying $695 a year for the AMEX Platinum Card in order to impress others. In reality, it is a meaningful benefit (no annual fee with high rewards) of military service. Your friends are ignorant, shallow, small-minded, and insensitive. If this is the focus--or even a focus-of their thoughts and words, then you might want to consider making new friends.

OP here. That's exactly what bothers me. I stopped using the card in person early on when a cashier commented on it being metal, but my debit card had just been stolen and I didn't have a choice. I'm super thrifty and live way under my means, and it hurt that they made assumptions about me.

Ok, this just took it to another level. OP. Why would a comment that it’s “metal” — which most credit cards are not — make you stop using it ? At the worst, someone you encountered once in your life made a random comment that you spiraled into what you imagined— and assumed— someone you’ll likely never see again thinks about you. A random cashier doesn’t know — or care — that you’re “ super thrifty”, and was likely not making any assumptions about how you live or intending to hurt you. OP, is this a pattern for you beyond issues related to your credit card?

OP here. Yeah - I don't like drawing attention to myself, so anytime some makes a comment about something they've noticed about me, it's uncomfortable.

Ok. Then I’d like to gently and respectfully suggest that knowing this about yourself, you ask yourself how you want people — particularly friends who may not realize this — to treat you. Do you really want people to not notice you? Or to never comment on things that they’ve noticed?

I'm sensitive to criticism, so yes, I guess those are the comments I get, I'd rather not be noticed.

Ok. That sounds difficult for you. Most people would probably not view the comment you posted as personal criticism, and would shrug it off if they noticed it at all. So, what would you like from your friends? To only talk about themselves or less personal matters — and not notice you at all?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was this around dc/VA? I feel like there are so many active duty military and spouses in this area that use that card?

No, it was back home in a large Midwestern city over Thanksgiving. But yes, I know tons of spouses with it.

I think a lot of non military in the same income bracket as military really don’t understand military life and how there are certain things that come with the job in exchange for the risks. For example, the fact that worrying as much as civilians in the same bracket about housing costs is not something most military do because of base allocated housing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd just reply all that they really need to let this go as it's embarrassing for them. Everyone has a 'platinum' card of some kind; it means nothing and them bringing it up is weird.

Once again the utter cluelessness of some rich DCUM posters is absolutely astonishing.

[Anonymous]

OP I'm not easily offended but I would wonder why anyone I called a friend would think I was rich if I wasn't, or make any mention of it if I was.

I don't blame you for being uncomfortable. I don't think its immature to ask oneself wtf something means. It sounds alienating. Its a label. Who wants to be labeled by friends?

I get it. If it persisted I would say something, but a one-off I would let go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nothing special. Amex Platinum. Fee is waived since DH is military. But I pulled it out over Thanksgiving after dinner with college friends (we were splitting the bill), and they pointed and laughed, basically. Made jokes about me being rich. We have a group email thread, and they keep bringing it up. I don't think it's funny, but I couldn't tell you why. Is there any way to get them to stop?

OMG! Bragging much!

[Anonymous]

People poke at the perceived outlier. I moved across the country and built a solid life for myself. I’d go home to visit and get called “big shot” by damn near everyone in our small town. It used to bother me, but the older I get the more I embrace the fact that I chose to struggle hard as a means to an end, rather than struggle for the rest of my life in a dead end town. I also stopped going home and seeing these people. Perhaps you should let some of these friendships fade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was this around dc/VA? I feel like there are so many active duty military and spouses in this area that use that card?

No, it was back home in a large Midwestern city over Thanksgiving. But yes, I know tons of spouses with it.

I think a lot of non military in the same income bracket as military really don’t understand military life and how there are certain things that come with the job in exchange for the risks. For example, the fact that worrying as much as civilians in the same bracket about housing costs is not something most military do because of base allocated housing.

This is a good take. OP, I think to make them stop you just say “hey guys the jokes about my credit card are getting old. DH’s job pays for it; we’re not rich.” And possibly leave the group chat with these people because they clearly like relating with ribbing and personal jokes in a way you don’t. (I don’t either to be clear but I realize they are people who don’t mind these kind of group dynamics at all.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ditch those friends and find people who actually care about you.

This is easy for us to say, but making friends can be really hard. I do'nt think we should cut people out of our lives because of things like this, unless it's some sort of ongoing, consistent rude behavior from the friends.

[Anonymous]

OP can you just be honest with how you feel? In a way that isn't attacking and assumes they aren't trying to be jerks? I would say something like "sorry guys, I'm a little sensitive, but..."

(And no it's not sorry in the "I did something wrong sense," it's just a good word for disarming things and showing that you're insecure about something.)

[Anonymous]

Are my officer wife Mom? This is the most officer wise post ever. All you need to talk about now is how you are in good with Col. Or General's wife and how mean you are to the Capt. Wife. And your hand bag!

You are from a fly over state and you showed off and your old friends are going to call you on being a pretentious officers wife. They sound like good friends who are going to keep you grounded.

[Anonymous]

“If you want one of these, too, look up the nearest military recruiting station!”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They are jealous because of what they perceive the card to signify, If they mention it again, ask them to stop. If they are really friends, they will.

+1

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