Is is ok for a kid to not date (or interact with) the opposite sex until college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"I agree that I don't think that the OP is talking about this area. I also think the whole tone of her post is off so I agree that she may be a troll."

I just gave a fairly detailed example of a kid here in the DMV that also doesn't have any interaction with members of the opposite sex, yet you're still not believing that this could happen here locally? What's the shibboleth to prove that I really am from here, as is this kid? Don't drive to work on the Friday when the National Christmas tree is lit or you'll be stuck in traffic till 8pm? The Silver Line is finally finished but most of us will still do everything possible to avoid flying out of Dulles? We call it National and not Reagan?

Because, dear, we have daughters at an all-girls high school in the DMV and we are familiar with all of the all-girls high schools in the DMV. There is not a single one that doesn't have a brother school, that doesn't have mixers and dances, that doesn't offer plentiful opportunities for the girls to see boys.

Yes, you are a TROLL. You keep digging yourself in deeper and deeper with your asinine posts. I have no idea what you think you are trying to prove except that you're an idiot troll and that you need psychological help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is there no interaction at school? My kids are at single sex high school but some electives are coed starting in 9th and two primary courses are coed stating in 11th. By 12th, a student can take nearly all their classes at opposite sex school if they wanted. Bringing dates to dances started in 9th. What you describe sounds very atypical even for a single sex school.

+1 And most schools here in the DMV area go out of their way to hold mixers and dances. We have both boys and girls. Between the two sets of single-sex schools, it seems like our kids are constantly talking about this event or that.

In high school? OP here. There are no mixers or dances (outside of homecoming and the winter formal) at my daughter's school. And i'm not missing anything--it's a topic of conversation among the parents. We have asked the school but they are not particularly open to changing things.

NAME THE SCHOOL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"I agree that I don't think that the OP is talking about this area. I also think the whole tone of her post is off so I agree that she may be a troll."

I just gave a fairly detailed example of a kid here in the DMV that also doesn't have any interaction with members of the opposite sex, yet you're still not believing that this could happen here locally? What's the shibboleth to prove that I really am from here, as is this kid? Don't drive to work on the Friday when the National Christmas tree is lit or you'll be stuck in traffic till 8pm? The Silver Line is finally finished but most of us will still do everything possible to avoid flying out of Dulles? We call it National and not Reagan?

Because, dear, we have daughters at an all-girls high school in the DMV and we are familiar with all of the all-girls high schools in the DMV. There is not a single one that doesn't have a brother school, that doesn't have mixers and dances, that doesn't offer plentiful opportunities for the girls to see boys.

Yes, you are a TROLL. You keep digging yourself in deeper and deeper with your asinine posts. I have no idea what you think you are trying to prove except that you're an idiot troll and that you need psychological help.

OP here. This is not me you're replying to.

[Anonymous]

I would make sure she has an out of school outlet where she can interact with boys (and other girls!). This is important for social development beyond dating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is there no interaction at school? My kids are at single sex high school but some electives are coed starting in 9th and two primary courses are coed stating in 11th. By 12th, a student can take nearly all their classes at opposite sex school if they wanted. Bringing dates to dances started in 9th. What you describe sounds very atypical even for a single sex school.

+1 And most schools here in the DMV area go out of their way to hold mixers and dances. We have both boys and girls. Between the two sets of single-sex schools, it seems like our kids are constantly talking about this event or that.

In high school? OP here. There are no mixers or dances (outside of homecoming and the winter formal) at my daughter's school. And i'm not missing anything--it's a topic of conversation among the parents. We have asked the school but they are not particularly open to changing things.

NAME THE SCHOOL.

OP here. It's NCS. There were no mixers in 9th except for one time the kids got together to play yard games for an hour and less than half the kids participated. This was the only "mixer" all school year.
This year there has been one 30 minute donut event after school which less than 10 boys attended.

No other dances or mixers or whatnot except for STA homecoming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to an all girls high school and a women's college and managed to turn out a-ok.

That wasn't the questions. Did you never interact with any men those entire 8 years?

I interacted with boys/men plenty. I think my point (in my head, obviously I should have typed it out) was that I didn't need to be in class with them in order to see them. We hung out w/ guys plenty in both places.

[Anonymous]

I would imagine Covid exacerbated this situation. So much was cancelled for so long and even as things got back to normal various “extra” events still weren’t happening. My two cents is that the dating thing in HS is overrated and some kids just aren’t ready for that yet and may be better off. But I don’t think it would be bad for your DD to have some more casual interaction with the opposite sex. What does she do in the summer? Can she work as a counselor at a coed day camp or attend a sleepaway pre college type program for a month that’s coed? If she loves her school I certainly wouldn’t move her out for this reason alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"I agree that I don't think that the OP is talking about this area. I also think the whole tone of her post is off so I agree that she may be a troll."

I just gave a fairly detailed example of a kid here in the DMV that also doesn't have any interaction with members of the opposite sex, yet you're still not believing that this could happen here locally? What's the shibboleth to prove that I really am from here, as is this kid? Don't drive to work on the Friday when the National Christmas tree is lit or you'll be stuck in traffic till 8pm? The Silver Line is finally finished but most of us will still do everything possible to avoid flying out of Dulles? We call it National and not Reagan?

Because, dear, we have daughters at an all-girls high school in the DMV and we are familiar with all of the all-girls high schools in the DMV. There is not a single one that doesn't have a brother school, that doesn't have mixers and dances, that doesn't offer plentiful opportunities for the girls to see boys.

Yes, you are a TROLL. You keep digging yourself in deeper and deeper with your asinine posts. I have no idea what you think you are trying to prove except that you're an idiot troll and that you need psychological help.

We have not had "brother" schools in decades. "mixers" is not a normal way to interact with boys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a bad idea.

I too went to an all girls HS and had plenty of "boyfriends" from various schools. But, I didn't have any substantive experience as an adolescent being a PEER in an academic or social setting with boys. It made me a little weird around boys in college. I mean, they liked me just fine, but I was awkward with them and awkward with girlfriends about them. That was a surprise I didn't see coming, and my girlfriends were very compassionate about why I was a little different and talked to me about it (bless them).

You should find ways for your daughter to interact with boys: a pre-college summer camp (you sound as if you have resources, these are expensive), extracurriculars, friends with access to boys, etc...

I went to an all girls high school and when I got to college with boys I found out quickly that they talked over women and thought they were smarter. I don't think I would seek out boys just so she can learn what boys really think of girls.

You would not have allowed them to talk over you if you had gone to HS with them and learned how to deal with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"I agree that I don't think that the OP is talking about this area. I also think the whole tone of her post is off so I agree that she may be a troll."

I just gave a fairly detailed example of a kid here in the DMV that also doesn't have any interaction with members of the opposite sex, yet you're still not believing that this could happen here locally? What's the shibboleth to prove that I really am from here, as is this kid? Don't drive to work on the Friday when the National Christmas tree is lit or you'll be stuck in traffic till 8pm? The Silver Line is finally finished but most of us will still do everything possible to avoid flying out of Dulles? We call it National and not Reagan?

Because, dear, we have daughters at an all-girls high school in the DMV and we are familiar with all of the all-girls high schools in the DMV. There is not a single one that doesn't have a brother school, that doesn't have mixers and dances, that doesn't offer plentiful opportunities for the girls to see boys.

Yes, you are a TROLL. You keep digging yourself in deeper and deeper with your asinine posts. I have no idea what you think you are trying to prove except that you're an idiot troll and that you need psychological help.

OP here. This is not me you're replying to.

Fairfax HS has HoCo and Prom. There have been no other dances / mixers in our last few years there. Just saying, the idea of no dances is not totally out there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t want to send a daughter, who has zero experience interacting with males, away to college to figure it out on her own. I think, as women, we rely on our experience to judge new situations and to judge men and figure out how to hone in on the ones we want in our lives and how to deal with the ones we don’t want around us.

100%. My daughter is 15, and is at a big public. She already has come to these conclusions about boys and is very clear that she has no interest in boys who vape, are “F** boys” and are mean. Her words. Lol. I really don’t think she would have come to these thoughts unless she had lots of casual school interactions with boys. Her friend group is a mix of boys and girls and her friends who are boys are really kind kids who are good friends to her. These relationships have given her a good idea of how she wants to be treated, and these boys tell her everything just like a girlfriend would, so she has gained a lot of insight into teen boys lol. She doesn’t have brothers.

[Anonymous]

"Nbd. Dating doesn't matter that much. What matters the most is having a close, loving relationship with her father (who is hopefully a good husband). She'll end up looking for a man just like her father."

This sounds really creepy. Sure, having a great dad is great. But in no way, shape, or form should he be the foil for your adolescent sexual development, mentally, emotionally, and certainly not physically. Blech! I feel like I need a shower.

[Anonymous]

So many kids don't date in HS. So many. TV shows and DCUM (who thinks it's crazy that any teenagers are not having sex) will have you believe different. So many posts say "Oh you know what these are doing right???? You're so naive!!" Even though we all know dozens of kids who don't do anything of the sort.

But interaction with people in general is important. I'd insist on 1-2 such ECs. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"I agree that I don't think that the OP is talking about this area. I also think the whole tone of her post is off so I agree that she may be a troll."

I just gave a fairly detailed example of a kid here in the DMV that also doesn't have any interaction with members of the opposite sex, yet you're still not believing that this could happen here locally? What's the shibboleth to prove that I really am from here, as is this kid? Don't drive to work on the Friday when the National Christmas tree is lit or you'll be stuck in traffic till 8pm? The Silver Line is finally finished but most of us will still do everything possible to avoid flying out of Dulles? We call it National and not Reagan?

Because, dear, we have daughters at an all-girls high school in the DMV and we are familiar with all of the all-girls high schools in the DMV. There is not a single one that doesn't have a brother school, that doesn't have mixers and dances, that doesn't offer plentiful opportunities for the girls to see boys.

Yes, you are a TROLL. You keep digging yourself in deeper and deeper with your asinine posts. I have no idea what you think you are trying to prove except that you're an idiot troll and that you need psychological help.

OP here. This is not me you're replying to.

Fairfax HS has HoCo and Prom. There have been no other dances / mixers in our last few years there. Just saying, the idea of no dances is not totally out there.

There is no need for mixers and dances at co-ed public schools, because males and females interact daily with each other. Your experience at a public school is not what other are talking about. They are talking about private, all-girls/all-boys schools.

[Anonymous]

How could any parent think they know about the social habits of every same-sex private high school kid in the entire DMV?! And add the post-COVID dynamics in there and tell me your answer. Any adult who thinks they are omniscient about this is an freaking idiot and should be ignored.