Is is ok for a kid to not date (or interact with) the opposite sex until college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to an all girls high school and a women's college and managed to turn out a-ok.

That wasn't the questions. Did you never interact with any men those entire 8 years?

And why is this a problem?

You think never interacting with a man until 23yrs old is normal?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why wouldn’t it be? Such an odd question. Plenty of girls in co-ed schools don’t date until college too.

Except they've had plenty of interactions with boys before college.

Yes but as mentioned, I don’t think that’s OP’s concern given her post. Her concern is about dating.

[Anonymous]

Dated 2 girls who went to 2 different all-girls colleges in Baltimore in the 90s.

At Goucher (technically coed then, but still 90% girls) there was tons of same-sex, um, dating? Definitely sex. Between women. Seemed to almost be part of campus culture at Goucher, particularly among certain athletic team mates.

At College of Notre Dame, there wasn’t much dating, very little same-sex activity As far as I could tell, and much stricter dorm / campus rules. Plus, very Catholic. They did some events with other schools. Lots of girls coveted an invite to the Naval Academy ball.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to an all girls high school and a women's college and managed to turn out a-ok.

That wasn't the questions. Did you never interact with any men those entire 8 years?

And why is this a problem?

You think never interacting with a man until 23yrs old is normal?

No I don't see a problem. You didn't answer why it would be.

[Anonymous]

Is there no interaction at school? My kids are at single sex high school but some electives are coed starting in 9th and two primary courses are coed stating in 11th. By 12th, a student can take nearly all their classes at opposite sex school if they wanted. Bringing dates to dances started in 9th. What you describe sounds very atypical even for a single sex school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is there no interaction at school? My kids are at single sex high school but some electives are coed starting in 9th and two primary courses are coed stating in 11th. By 12th, a student can take nearly all their classes at opposite sex school if they wanted. Bringing dates to dances started in 9th. What you describe sounds very atypical even for a single sex school.

Interesting. My school we only took classes at the single sex school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is there no interaction at school? My kids are at single sex high school but some electives are coed starting in 9th and two primary courses are coed stating in 11th. By 12th, a student can take nearly all their classes at opposite sex school if they wanted. Bringing dates to dances started in 9th. What you describe sounds very atypical even for a single sex school.

+1 And most schools here in the DMV area go out of their way to hold mixers and dances. We have both boys and girls. Between the two sets of single-sex schools, it seems like our kids are constantly talking about this event or that.

[Anonymous]

OP here.
I'm not a troll. I re-read my post and realize I mentioned kissing twice and I agree that it sounds odd. I wrote that post while on a work call and should have proof-read it. Fundamentally my main wish if for my daughter to have some male acquaintances and friends but I also wouldn't mind if she got some of the romantic stuff out of way while still at home. I think (maybe in error) that it would be nice for her to go through some of that (the good and bad of dating --or not even "dating" but any sort of interest in the opposite gender) while still in the security of home (as opposed to being on her own in college.) Maybe I'm in error in thinking that--I'm just thinking out loud. Again, it's very different than my own childhood. Pls don't jump all over me! I'm basically asking, "what are your thoughts on this?"

She has had the opportunity to take art elective classes with boys but the boys in the electives she enrolled in this year dropped the class. There are boys who ask girls to the dances but my daughter and her friends (I'm thinking of about a dozen girls) were not asked. The girls who are asked tend to be the really popular ones and my daughter (and friends) are not in the popular crowd (about 10 girls are in this group). Outside of the popular crowd, the boys go to the dances with popular girls from other schools. It's been that way for 2 years now (9th and 10th). Most of the girls are not asked by the boys. I'm hoping it will change in the 2 years to come. Other than homecoming and the winter dance there aren't any dances or social gatherings with the boys.
My daughter does attend youth group weekly. However her sports of choice are single gender team sport (she's not a swimming or a runner).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is there no interaction at school? My kids are at single sex high school but some electives are coed starting in 9th and two primary courses are coed stating in 11th. By 12th, a student can take nearly all their classes at opposite sex school if they wanted. Bringing dates to dances started in 9th. What you describe sounds very atypical even for a single sex school.

+1 And most schools here in the DMV area go out of their way to hold mixers and dances. We have both boys and girls. Between the two sets of single-sex schools, it seems like our kids are constantly talking about this event or that.

In high school? OP here. There are no mixers or dances (outside of homecoming and the winter formal) at my daughter's school. And i'm not missing anything--it's a topic of conversation among the parents. We have asked the school but they are not particularly open to changing things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, it's not a good idea for them to never interact with boys who basically make up half the population. It's fine if they don't want to date, but they need to be used to interacting with boys at least platonically. Can she join something in the neighborhood? Community theatre or a church choir or any teen volunteer org?

This^^^

Males are 50% of the population. They need to get used to dealing with everyone in society.

Also, do you really want the first time your kid is around the opposite sex be when they are at college? Ideally you want this to happen while they are living at home and you can provide guidance and have discussions.

When I was a freshman I could easily pick out the kids (male and female) who had attended same sex High Schools...back then it meant mostly Catholic/religious based schools as well. So the parents were doing it to "protect" their precious kid. my best friend in college attended a Male all boy catholic school---it's exactly why his parents did that for all his siblings. Have to say many were fine at college but I saw so many go absolutely crazy first semester---socializing, sleeping around, dating someone new every few days, etc. Academics were not there focus at all. They were finally rebelling from the strict isolation they grew up with They were finally around males (or females), in fact many times they lived 3 doors down from you. Nobody cared if a guy/girl spent the night in your room. To me, 60-70% of those who went crazy at college came from same sex HS.

[Anonymous]

OP, you have no idea if any of your daughter’s friends have kissed boys or done anything else with them. Just saying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nbd. Dating doesn't matter that much. What matters the most is having a close, loving relationship with her father (who is hopefully a good husband). She'll end up looking for a man just like her father.

I really didn't date much. My first boyfriend (who was wonderful) and I dated for 5 years and then I met dh right after college and married at 26. I don't really think you need to date around to know what you want.

This first part is so weird to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dated 2 girls who went to 2 different all-girls colleges in Baltimore in the 90s.

At Goucher (technically coed then, but still 90% girls) there was tons of same-sex, um, dating? Definitely sex. Between women. Seemed to almost be part of campus culture at Goucher, particularly among certain athletic team mates.

At College of Notre Dame, there wasn’t much dating, very little same-sex activity As far as I could tell, and much stricter dorm / campus rules. Plus, very Catholic. They did some events with other schools. Lots of girls coveted an invite to the Naval Academy ball.

How is your experience as a man dating women at all-female colleges in the 90s relevant to the OP’s questions about girls attending all-female high schools in 2022?

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you’ve placed your daughter in a conservative (religious?) all girls school even though you had a different upbringing? Maybe now is the time to reflect on those reasons. They seem to be getting lost at the moment.

[Anonymous]

"I agree that I don't think that the OP is talking about this area. I also think the whole tone of her post is off so I agree that she may be a troll."

I just gave a fairly detailed example of a kid here in the DMV that also doesn't have any interaction with members of the opposite sex, yet you're still not believing that this could happen here locally? What's the shibboleth to prove that I really am from here, as is this kid? Don't drive to work on the Friday when the National Christmas tree is lit or you'll be stuck in traffic till 8pm? The Silver Line is finally finished but most of us will still do everything possible to avoid flying out of Dulles? We call it National and not Reagan?