Is is ok for a kid to not date (or interact with) the opposite sex until college?

[Anonymous]

This is a personal decision for the family. If your daughter is comfortable in her current environment and with her social situation,then it is fine. If not, then discuss options with your daughter based on her interests.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is not a big deal. Consider it a blessing.

My DC went to all girls school. None of her friends had boyfriends in high school. They are in college now and they all have boyfriends.

I do think she missed out on some of the things I experienced in high school but she avoided so much drama that I don't think she was ready for.

She was an athlete so she did interact with boys every day during practice but never dated anyone on the team.

Is that what OP is talking about? She specifically said no interaction with boys. That's a lot different than not having a boyfriend.

I think that’s what OP’s concern is yes. She mentions kissing twice.

[Anonymous]

Maybe they’re all lesbians.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No interaction with boys? No, I do no think that is ok.

Why do you say this? What possibly is she missing?

[Anonymous]

It's a bad idea.

I too went to an all girls HS and had plenty of "boyfriends" from various schools. But, I didn't have any substantive experience as an adolescent being a PEER in an academic or social setting with boys. It made me a little weird around boys in college. I mean, they liked me just fine, but I was awkward with them and awkward with girlfriends about them. That was a surprise I didn't see coming, and my girlfriends were very compassionate about why I was a little different and talked to me about it (bless them).

You should find ways for your daughter to interact with boys: a pre-college summer camp (you sound as if you have resources, these are expensive), extracurriculars, friends with access to boys, etc...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter attends an all-girls school. She and her friends are in 10th grade and are turning (or have turned) 16.
None have really talked to a boy since elementary (thx to Covid and the all-girls environment). None have kissed a boy, etc.
They're all pretty, stylist, smart girls. Far more sophisticated than I was at their age. So far they've gone to dances with each other
because they don't really have boys to invite and the boys at their brother school can be critical of the girls
from their school. (the winter formal is coming up so we'll see what happens there).

Anyway, clearly we signed up for this and many would say "it's a feature, not a bug" of an all-girls education. But I guess
I never really thought this through we we agreed to enroll her in 6th grade (it was her idea). She will probably kiss her
first boy in college. It's very different from my experience as a young person. What are your thoughts on this?

I find it strange that you are even "worrying" about this! You know there are women who never want to date or kiss boys?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's a bad idea.

I too went to an all girls HS and had plenty of "boyfriends" from various schools. But, I didn't have any substantive experience as an adolescent being a PEER in an academic or social setting with boys. It made me a little weird around boys in college. I mean, they liked me just fine, but I was awkward with them and awkward with girlfriends about them. That was a surprise I didn't see coming, and my girlfriends were very compassionate about why I was a little different and talked to me about it (bless them).

You should find ways for your daughter to interact with boys: a pre-college summer camp (you sound as if you have resources, these are expensive), extracurriculars, friends with access to boys, etc...

I went to an all girls high school and when I got to college with boys I found out quickly that they talked over women and thought they were smarter. I don't think I would seek out boys just so she can learn what boys really think of girls.

[Anonymous]

My daughter went to an all-girls school and they were OBSESSED with boys and many dated and socialized outside of school. The school also had collaborations with their brother school.

I think they are very much in the minority, even for an all girls school. Don't they go to the mall and socialize?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is not a big deal. Consider it a blessing.

My DC went to all girls school. None of her friends had boyfriends in high school. They are in college now and they all have boyfriends.

I do think she missed out on some of the things I experienced in high school but she avoided so much drama that I don't think she was ready for.

She was an athlete so she did interact with boys every day during practice but never dated anyone on the team.

Is that what OP is talking about? She specifically said no interaction with boys. That's a lot different than not having a boyfriend.

I think that’s what OP’s concern is yes. She mentions kissing twice.

Which is weird. Dating =/= interaction. Lots of teens don't date in high school. But they do interact with members of the opposite sex as classmates, or teammates, or co-workers, or bandmates or whatever.

[Anonymous]

If they go to an all girl school you should be providing opportunities for her to talk to and get comfortable around boys. I would not send my DD to an all girl school.

[Anonymous]

If I sent my child to a single sex school, I'd insist on them doing outside activities with the other gender. In DC, we have community crew, church groups, co-ed soccer, summer camps, volunteering, and part time jobs as options. So many opportunities for kids to interact.

It's also weird that your kid doesn't interact with kids from other schools. Mine was in a DC charter school and they know kids from every part of the District as well as many of the close suburbs. They meet up with these kids for socializing. I think my kid knew students at all of the Big 3 as well as the other main 10 private schools. This alone would solve the same-sex problem.

There is nothing worse for society and for individuals than seeing members of the opposite sex as "the other." It feeds into all the sexist stereotypes on both sides.

[Anonymous]

My neighbor's son is at a DMV Catholic boys high school with lots of sports team and "cool kids." His junior year he did not know even one girl of high school age he could invite to the prom. It wasn't like with most teen boys, where they get picky about whether a girl is attractive enough or whatever to invite. He didn't even know a single unattractive boring girl that he could consider inviting. That is just a screwed up social world he's living in. I know families of other boys who have graduated from this same school and all of those boys knew plenty of girls while they were high school students, so it's definitely possible to not be so isolated.

Parents need to get out in front of that sort of situation by making sure that kids maintain friendships they had before they start at these same sex high schools. And I'm not talking about him losing his virginity in high school or even kissing someone. Just make sure they have friends to hang out with who are of the opposite sex. All kids need to be at ease with all sorts of people and to grow up as seeing this as normal.

It's really not that different from situations where white people blindly raise their kids in situations where they zero friends, classmates, or teammates who are people of color. Be self-aware and prevent this or else you'll produce young adults with weird attitudes and weak social skills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a bad idea.

I too went to an all girls HS and had plenty of "boyfriends" from various schools. But, I didn't have any substantive experience as an adolescent being a PEER in an academic or social setting with boys. It made me a little weird around boys in college. I mean, they liked me just fine, but I was awkward with them and awkward with girlfriends about them. That was a surprise I didn't see coming, and my girlfriends were very compassionate about why I was a little different and talked to me about it (bless them).

You should find ways for your daughter to interact with boys: a pre-college summer camp (you sound as if you have resources, these are expensive), extracurriculars, friends with access to boys, etc...

I went to an all girls high school and when I got to college with boys I found out quickly that they talked over women and thought they were smarter. I don't think I would seek out boys just so she can learn what boys really think of girls.

That wasn't my experience, but even if it were, I think it's important to learn how to deal with everyone in a real world setting. If boys are going to talk over you in college, might as well get practice and build confidence pre-college. Just my two cents though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter attends an all-girls school. She and her friends are in 10th grade and are turning (or have turned) 16.
None have really talked to a boy since elementary (thx to Covid and the all-girls environment). None have kissed a boy, etc.
They're all pretty, stylist, smart girls. Far more sophisticated than I was at their age. So far they've gone to dances with each other
because they don't really have boys to invite and the boys at their brother school can be critical of the girls
from their school. (the winter formal is coming up so we'll see what happens there).

Anyway, clearly we signed up for this and many would say "it's a feature, not a bug" of an all-girls education. But I guess
I never really thought this through we we agreed to enroll her in 6th grade (it was her idea). She will probably kiss her
first boy in college. It's very different from my experience as a young person. What are your thoughts on this?

I find it strange that you are even "worrying" about this! You know there are women who never want to date or kiss boys?

I find it odd that OP is predicting this for a 10th grader, who has a full two and a half years of living to do before she goes to college. That’s a long time in the life of a teenager.

But even if she doesn’t kiss anyone til college, who cares.

[Anonymous]

I went to an all girls high school and a women's college and managed to turn out a-ok.