Cheap gifts from family members

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not about the cost amount of a gift but more so the thought that went into it. I get giftcards every single year and it shows me that you have put zero effort or thought into getting something for me personally. I'd rather just get nothing.

older kids are different though. We just had a birthday party for my 10 year old. He was much happier about the Amazon and Robux gift cards than the actual toys he received. Of the dozen toys, he liked 2 of them. They were not cheap - they are from a local toy store what gift wraps the gifts for you - but they are not his taste. We could go return, but instead I will just regift or donate.

Yep I agree. There are times I ask for gift cards and greatly appreciate it. Getting a random restaurant gf every year though is lazy IMO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I like sending out nice gifts to family. Nothing crazy, but more than what we’d send to kids’ friends’ Bdays.

One specific family member always brings $20 max gifts, without a receipt and sometimes they seem like regifts.

Now I know that I shouldn’t be presumptuous with other peoples money, bc they don’t have to, but it feels disrespectful, and it really annoys me, because I know for sure it’s not an affordability issue.

This is more of a vent, but is it common?

I remember many years ago when I had my first job, which didn't pay a lot, that I knitted a cable knit sweater for my boyfriend for Christmas. Woodward and Lothrop (Woodies) would teach knitting if you purchased a certain amount of yarn from them. I started this sweater in July and went two days a week after work and on Saturday to knit this sweater for him

I finished it right after Thanksgiving and I couldn't wait to give it to him. He didn't react the way I had hoped when he opened it and said "You are so cheap that you didn't even spend money on me. I can't believe you gave me a homemade present." I started crying and grabbed it back and broke up with him on the spot.

Obviously, he was a first class jerk but my point is that when you receive a gift, be gracious. I suspect that you would have the same reaction he had if you received a "homemade" gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like sending out nice gifts to family. Nothing crazy, but more than what we’d send to kids’ friends’ Bdays.

One specific family member always brings $20 max gifts, without a receipt and sometimes they seem like regifts.

Now I know that I shouldn’t be presumptuous with other peoples money, bc they don’t have to, but it feels disrespectful, and it really annoys me, because I know for sure it’s not an affordability issue.

This is more of a vent, but is it common?

I remember many years ago when I had my first job, which didn't pay a lot, that I knitted a cable knit sweater for my boyfriend for Christmas. Woodward and Lothrop (Woodies) would teach knitting if you purchased a certain amount of yarn from them. I started this sweater in July and went two days a week after work and on Saturday to knit this sweater for him

I finished it right after Thanksgiving and I couldn't wait to give it to him. He didn't react the way I had hoped when he opened it and said "You are so cheap that you didn't even spend money on me. I can't believe you gave me a homemade present." I started crying and grabbed it back and broke up with him on the spot.

Obviously, he was a first class jerk but my point is that when you receive a gift, be gracious. I suspect that you would have the same reaction he had if you received a "homemade" gift.

You suspect wrong. I have also given homemade gifts to my significant other and other people, and the gifts were very well received. I’m proud and happy about that.

Kids don’t care if you put time and effort into their gift, unless that’s what they really want, and what they want is not otherwise available. I would never spend that much time in other people’s kids’ gifts. Sorry.

I’m always graciously accepting a gift, but sometimes that’s to be polite, not because I like the gift. I’m not offended if people don’t like my gifts, that’s why I include gift receipt. I’m not arrogant enough to think I always get it right.

Today’s life is full of consumerism, and people aren’t excited about anything, because they have everything, and even if I were super confident in my gift, the people could already have that thing. So a gift receipt is always warranted in my book.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Easy stop giving gifts.

Bingo!

[Anonymous]

I hate gift giving. I hate getting items that I don’t want and then have to figure out if I can donate or return them. Often they just wind up as trash, which is pretty terrible. I don’t want our house cluttered with random, useless items. We have limited storage and I’m not using it for things we’ll never need and don’t like. I also hate spending money and energy picking out gifts for other people. Birthdays are fine because it’s one at a time and you can be more thoughtful, but the holiday season is awful. I wind up buying things just so it looks like I’m willing to spend money on others, and it’s really wasteful.

Last year I told my family I didn’t want to receive any gifts and that I wouldn’t be giving them, and I got a ton of pushback and anger in response. I’d love to forego them going forward but it was a huge issue for our families.

[Anonymous]

My in laws are huge gift givers, they love to spend a ton of money on gifts, especially at Christmas. We don't spend as much money on our own family as others do. It feels crazy to me to buy my niece a $150 gift because that's what their parents do for my kid, while I may not even spend that on my own kids (depending on the year).

Gifts should not come with a "should" attachment, otherwise it's not a true gift. Let go of your expectations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like sending out nice gifts to family. Nothing crazy, but more than what we’d send to kids’ friends’ Bdays.

One specific family member always brings $20 max gifts, without a receipt and sometimes they seem like regifts.

Now I know that I shouldn’t be presumptuous with other peoples money, bc they don’t have to, but it feels disrespectful, and it really annoys me, because I know for sure it’s not an affordability issue.

This is more of a vent, but is it common?

I remember many years ago when I had my first job, which didn't pay a lot, that I knitted a cable knit sweater for my boyfriend for Christmas. Woodward and Lothrop (Woodies) would teach knitting if you purchased a certain amount of yarn from them. I started this sweater in July and went two days a week after work and on Saturday to knit this sweater for him

I finished it right after Thanksgiving and I couldn't wait to give it to him. He didn't react the way I had hoped when he opened it and said "You are so cheap that you didn't even spend money on me. I can't believe you gave me a homemade present." I started crying and grabbed it back and broke up with him on the spot.

Obviously, he was a first class jerk but my point is that when you receive a gift, be gracious. I suspect that you would have the same reaction he had if you received a "homemade" gift.

The Curse of the Boyfriend Sweater is well known

(but also yes, a class A jerk and I hope you kept the sweater and got lots of good use out of it PP!)

[Anonymous]

I love to give gifts and I love the time I put in to choosing, what I hope is, the perfect gift. I love wrapping them in beautiful paper and bows because this adds beauty to my life and to the recipient of the gift. I do include a gift receipt. I've been buying Christmas gifts all year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like sending out nice gifts to family. Nothing crazy, but more than what we’d send to kids’ friends’ Bdays.

One specific family member always brings $20 max gifts, without a receipt and sometimes they seem like regifts.

Now I know that I shouldn’t be presumptuous with other peoples money, bc they don’t have to, but it feels disrespectful, and it really annoys me, because I know for sure it’s not an affordability issue.

This is more of a vent, but is it common?

I remember many years ago when I had my first job, which didn't pay a lot, that I knitted a cable knit sweater for my boyfriend for Christmas. Woodward and Lothrop (Woodies) would teach knitting if you purchased a certain amount of yarn from them. I started this sweater in July and went two days a week after work and on Saturday to knit this sweater for him

I finished it right after Thanksgiving and I couldn't wait to give it to him. He didn't react the way I had hoped when he opened it and said "You are so cheap that you didn't even spend money on me. I can't believe you gave me a homemade present." I started crying and grabbed it back and broke up with him on the spot.

Obviously, he was a first class jerk but my point is that when you receive a gift, be gracious. I suspect that you would have the same reaction he had if you received a "homemade" gift.

You suspect wrong. I have also given homemade gifts to my significant other and other people, and the gifts were very well received. I’m proud and happy about that.

Kids don’t care if you put time and effort into their gift, unless that’s what they really want, and what they want is not otherwise available. I would never spend that much time in other people’s kids’ gifts. Sorry.

I’m always graciously accepting a gift, but sometimes that’s to be polite, not because I like the gift. I’m not offended if people don’t like my gifts, that’s why I include gift receipt. I’m not arrogant enough to think I always get it right.

Today’s life is full of consumerism, and people aren’t excited about anything, because they have everything, and even if I were super confident in my gift, the people could already have that thing. So a gift receipt is always warranted in my book.

He wasn't a kid but a 25 year old man!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate gift giving. I hate getting items that I don’t want and then have to figure out if I can donate or return them. Often they just wind up as trash, which is pretty terrible. I don’t want our house cluttered with random, useless items. We have limited storage and I’m not using it for things we’ll never need and don’t like. I also hate spending money and energy picking out gifts for other people. Birthdays are fine because it’s one at a time and you can be more thoughtful, but the holiday season is awful. I wind up buying things just so it looks like I’m willing to spend money on others, and it’s really wasteful.

Last year I told my family I didn’t want to receive any gifts and that I wouldn’t be giving them, and I got a ton of pushback and anger in response. I’d love to forego them going forward but it was a huge issue for our families.

I am with you. I think we could all help save the environment and save ourselves stress by simply giving up exchange of material things and just be kind and decent to eachother as a gift. It says a lot about people when they get angry and basically they care about exchanging stuff. I did not care about pushback. I made it clear. My sister, who is not a kind person is the worst about imposing junk on others. I have made it clear, the gift is kindness and decency. We do not want stuff. She kept doing it and starting drama when she didn't get thank you notes. Then she started drama about how rude it is to refuse to accept gifts. How is it a gift to give people things when they asked you to stop and then to get so full of indignation when they keep a boundary. We are closer with cousins and they were fine with it. We actually enjoy gatherings and the gift is beautiful memories of positive interactions. I find the people who are so rigid about how we must do these junk exchanges are people who are not very happy people and tend to be unpleasant to be around.

[Anonymous]

Some people are bad gift givers. I happen to be a good and very generous gift giver and it's something I love doing, but I never expect anything in return. Gifts given with matching obligations aren't great gifts. Give what you want to give and then you won't care what anyone else gives you.

[Anonymous]

Someone should gift you some Grace, it’s free.
Grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like sending out nice gifts to family. Nothing crazy, but more than what we’d send to kids’ friends’ Bdays.

One specific family member always brings $20 max gifts, without a receipt and sometimes they seem like regifts.

Now I know that I shouldn’t be presumptuous with other peoples money, bc they don’t have to, but it feels disrespectful, and it really annoys me, because I know for sure it’s not an affordability issue.

This is more of a vent, but is it common?

I remember many years ago when I had my first job, which didn't pay a lot, that I knitted a cable knit sweater for my boyfriend for Christmas. Woodward and Lothrop (Woodies) would teach knitting if you purchased a certain amount of yarn from them. I started this sweater in July and went two days a week after work and on Saturday to knit this sweater for him

I finished it right after Thanksgiving and I couldn't wait to give it to him. He didn't react the way I had hoped when he opened it and said "You are so cheap that you didn't even spend money on me. I can't believe you gave me a homemade present." I started crying and grabbed it back and broke up with him on the spot.

Obviously, he was a first class jerk but my point is that when you receive a gift, be gracious. I suspect that you would have the same reaction he had if you received a "homemade" gift.

You suspect wrong. I have also given homemade gifts to my significant other and other people, and the gifts were very well received. I’m proud and happy about that.

Kids don’t care if you put time and effort into their gift, unless that’s what they really want, and what they want is not otherwise available. I would never spend that much time in other people’s kids’ gifts. Sorry.

I’m always graciously accepting a gift, but sometimes that’s to be polite, not because I like the gift. I’m not offended if people don’t like my gifts, that’s why I include gift receipt. I’m not arrogant enough to think I always get it right.

Today’s life is full of consumerism, and people aren’t excited about anything, because they have everything, and even if I were super confident in my gift, the people could already have that thing. So a gift receipt is always warranted in my book.

He wasn't a kid but a 25 year old man!

Sorry about your disappointment. This thread was not about you.

[Anonymous]

I prefer consumable gifts like nice chocolates, fine tea or coffee beans, milled soaps, etc. I don't like gifting bric a brac etc.

[Anonymous]

You said you enjoy sending nice gifts but part of giving gifts is being gracious and not expecting anything in return. You are giving a gift. Not hoping to get something back.

If you like giving gifts, give with a giving spirit. Maybe your relative does not enjoy shopping or is frugal (doesn't matter that they can *afford* nicer gifts; they may not enjoy looking around for gifts and/or may not enjoy spending $$. For instance, I am very generous when I know what someone likes/would want and I don't mind spending a bit on that "perfect gift." But if I can't think of a good gift for someone, I really hate the experience of shopping and spending $$ on something that I'm just buying to give something and not because it's a great gift per se. When I can't think of a perfect gift for someone, I tend to be really frugal bc why spend a lot of money on something I don't know they'd like or not. I would always include the gift receipt though.