Cheap gifts from family members

[Anonymous]

That gifts-are-my-love-language is really an excuse for people to mindlessly buy even more stuff.

Let's face it, you don't buy gifts for every random relatives 5th grade 'graduation' or a semi-acquaintance from 2 streets over who just recovered from flu because you're so kind and generous, you keep up the excessive gifting because love to buy things like a junkie loves a needle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That gifts-are-my-love-language is really an excuse for people to mindlessly buy even more stuff.

Let's face it, you don't buy gifts for every random relatives 5th grade 'graduation' or a semi-acquaintance from 2 streets over who just recovered from flu because you're so kind and generous, you keep up the excessive gifting because love to buy things like a junkie loves a needle.

You’re kind of right, but what’s the point. How’s this related?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s obvious that all you haters give crappy gifts.

A $20 bar soap is a very nice gift actually. But a $20 set of plates, is definitely garbage.

I give great gifts, and I love it. But because I understand that People Are Different From Me, I recognize and accept that I'm not going to "get as good as I give," and I keep it moving. Because my intention is to give something that will bring joy and show appreciation and celebration, my intention is not to keep score or "come out even" or "win."

You tried it, though.

What makes you so certain you give “great gifts”? I have a friend who feels she is a great gift giver but it’s stuff no one wants (like a $20 bar of soap….wut?)

Op here. Not the poster above.

I actually give gift cards or cash to older kids, and actual items to younger kids.

Just because I do it this way doesn’t mean it’s the way, but I am aware that $20 don’t get you far for older kids. So, if they have enough gift cards from a large retailer (target/Amazon / etc) they can get a nicer gift for themselves.

A $20 soap is nice for a person liking soap. I think that’s a nice gift if thoughtfully chosen. You can always put a nice smelling good soap in your drawers. If you don’t know what the person likes, a gift card covers all angles. Honestly, I’d rather receive no gift. When my kids were little and received a crappy gift, which would often look promising, I’d have to deal with the disappointment.

I do teach my kids that it is what it is, to get over it and move on. They know now.

And not all people listen if you say no gifts. Some have a tradition that they follow, ex. Must give a gift no matter what, and they’ll do that no matter what you say.

To all the obnoxious poster who are ‘calling me out’: you know you give lousy gifts. Don’t be mad. You’re the ones giving them.

You give gift cards or cash and feel that is thoughtful? I agree that is what older kids want but that takes like no effort. That isn't a "great gift" that took much time and effort. I'm shocked that's what you give and posted about how others are such terrible gift givers. Do you want gift cards in return then? Like just swap gift cards and what is the point of that?

Do you know how to read? I said for older kids.

If i know the kid likes a certain thing I’ll do that, but if I have no idea, how can I guess? Just send over some random junk?

I also added that I don’t send gifts wo a gift receipt. To allow for the recipient to not like the gift. Do you think your gifts are amazing and shall never be returned?

Yeah, sorry but you don’t make sense. You want gift cards and gift receipts for it to be a “good gift”. So transactional and cold. Just stop and go to no-gifts with these people. It’s clearly just an obligation for you at this point and you have no idea what to even buy. And then you’re resentful when you don’t receive the same.
I guess I assumed based on your post that you put a lot of effort and thought into giving good gifts, so I find your reaction very odd. No one needs this much crap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That gifts-are-my-love-language is really an excuse for people to mindlessly buy even more stuff.

Let's face it, you don't buy gifts for every random relatives 5th grade 'graduation' or a semi-acquaintance from 2 streets over who just recovered from flu because you're so kind and generous, you keep up the excessive gifting because love to buy things like a junkie loves a needle.

+1
Refer to the person who considers themselves a great gift giver. They’re not. It’s about them not the recipients.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s obvious that all you haters give crappy gifts.

A $20 bar soap is a very nice gift actually. But a $20 set of plates, is definitely garbage.

I give great gifts, and I love it. But because I understand that People Are Different From Me, I recognize and accept that I'm not going to "get as good as I give," and I keep it moving. Because my intention is to give something that will bring joy and show appreciation and celebration, my intention is not to keep score or "come out even" or "win."

You tried it, though.

What makes you so certain you give “great gifts”? I have a friend who feels she is a great gift giver but it’s stuff no one wants (like a $20 bar of soap….wut?)

Op here. Not the poster above.

I actually give gift cards or cash to older kids, and actual items to younger kids.

Just because I do it this way doesn’t mean it’s the way, but I am aware that $20 don’t get you far for older kids. So, if they have enough gift cards from a large retailer (target/Amazon / etc) they can get a nicer gift for themselves.

A $20 soap is nice for a person liking soap. I think that’s a nice gift if thoughtfully chosen. You can always put a nice smelling good soap in your drawers. If you don’t know what the person likes, a gift card covers all angles. Honestly, I’d rather receive no gift. When my kids were little and received a crappy gift, which would often look promising, I’d have to deal with the disappointment.

I do teach my kids that it is what it is, to get over it and move on. They know now.

And not all people listen if you say no gifts. Some have a tradition that they follow, ex. Must give a gift no matter what, and they’ll do that no matter what you say.

To all the obnoxious poster who are ‘calling me out’: you know you give lousy gifts. Don’t be mad. You’re the ones giving them.

They "know now" that some people give crappy gifts and it's their lot in life to somehow push through the disappointment and contempt?

Your values are abhorrent. The fact that you're raising ungrateful, greedy children is truly sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s obvious that all you haters give crappy gifts.

A $20 bar soap is a very nice gift actually. But a $20 set of plates, is definitely garbage.

I give great gifts, and I love it. But because I understand that People Are Different From Me, I recognize and accept that I'm not going to "get as good as I give," and I keep it moving. Because my intention is to give something that will bring joy and show appreciation and celebration, my intention is not to keep score or "come out even" or "win."

You tried it, though.

What makes you so certain you give “great gifts”? I have a friend who feels she is a great gift giver but it’s stuff no one wants (like a $20 bar of soap….wut?)

Op here. Not the poster above.

I actually give gift cards or cash to older kids, and actual items to younger kids.

Just because I do it this way doesn’t mean it’s the way, but I am aware that $20 don’t get you far for older kids. So, if they have enough gift cards from a large retailer (target/Amazon / etc) they can get a nicer gift for themselves.

A $20 soap is nice for a person liking soap. I think that’s a nice gift if thoughtfully chosen. You can always put a nice smelling good soap in your drawers. If you don’t know what the person likes, a gift card covers all angles. Honestly, I’d rather receive no gift. When my kids were little and received a crappy gift, which would often look promising, I’d have to deal with the disappointment.

I do teach my kids that it is what it is, to get over it and move on. They know now.

And not all people listen if you say no gifts. Some have a tradition that they follow, ex. Must give a gift no matter what, and they’ll do that no matter what you say.

To all the obnoxious poster who are ‘calling me out’: you know you give lousy gifts. Don’t be mad. You’re the ones giving them.

They "know now" that some people give crappy gifts and it's their lot in life to somehow push through the disappointment and contempt?

Your values are abhorrent. The fact that you're raising ungrateful, greedy children is truly sad.

Ok Dr. Karen. Thanks for showing me my place.

I wish upon you to be grateful for all the crappy gifts of the world.

[Anonymous]

It's not about the cost amount of a gift but more so the thought that went into it. I get giftcards every single year and it shows me that you have put zero effort or thought into getting something for me personally. I'd rather just get nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not about the cost amount of a gift but more so the thought that went into it. I get giftcards every single year and it shows me that you have put zero effort or thought into getting something for me personally. I'd rather just get nothing.

older kids are different though. We just had a birthday party for my 10 year old. He was much happier about the Amazon and Robux gift cards than the actual toys he received. Of the dozen toys, he liked 2 of them. They were not cheap - they are from a local toy store what gift wraps the gifts for you - but they are not his taste. We could go return, but instead I will just regift or donate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not about the cost amount of a gift but more so the thought that went into it. I get giftcards every single year and it shows me that you have put zero effort or thought into getting something for me personally. I'd rather just get nothing.

older kids are different though. We just had a birthday party for my 10 year old. He was much happier about the Amazon and Robux gift cards than the actual toys he received. Of the dozen toys, he liked 2 of them. They were not cheap - they are from a local toy store what gift wraps the gifts for you - but they are not his taste. We could go return, but instead I will just regift or donate.

I’m curious. Are you OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not about the cost amount of a gift but more so the thought that went into it. I get giftcards every single year and it shows me that you have put zero effort or thought into getting something for me personally. I'd rather just get nothing.

+1
We all have too much stuff. If all we can do is exchange gift cards, then we need to just stop. An Amazon gift card is not some great gift!

[Anonymous]

Disrespectful? That seems like such a strong word.

[Anonymous]

Ugh, I'm the opposite. Stop giving me gifts.

This is why. Because after you give me some rando gift, you feel like I need to give you something of comparable value in return.

No. Just stop. I don't want any gifts and I hate feeling obligated to reciprocate.

[Anonymous]

One year, DH and BIL gave each other the exact same bottle of bourbon.

It was funny. But it did shine a light on how silly the gift exchange was

[Anonymous]

I'm a wonderful gift giver, but I hate this gifts race. It's like the nuclear arms race. I want to limit gifts to $50 a person. If you keep giving me $100, whatever, but I'm not following suit. Hopefully you'll get the message soon enough. I do the same with a few favorite coworkers. $25 is my limit, please stop trying to raise it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, I'm the opposite. Stop giving me gifts.

This is why. Because after you give me some rando gift, you feel like I need to give you something of comparable value in return.

No. Just stop. I don't want any gifts and I hate feeling obligated to reciprocate.

THIS!