Friends 32-year-old DS arrested for CP while living in her home

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please be there for your friend. She has lost her job, her son, her support. She is stuck in the house with a bad husband, a perverted son and a lot of shame. She didn’t do it and I doubt she knew about it. I actually suspect - based on your description of the change in this young man - that he is probably mentally I’ll and that’s why the parents had let him live with them. There are a lot of mental illnesses that show up in young adulthood. Of course, that doesn’t excuse the CP, but it may help explain why they were supporting him.

+1,000,000

I understand, OP, why you have issues with the fact that your friend bailed out her son--I would as well--but as long as she didn't attempt to persuade me of his innocence in the face of overwhelming evidence, I'd do what good friends do and support her in ways that didn't jeopardize my own career. That said, the fact that you think you could put your own career at risk just by being a good friend says nothing good about the community in which you live, and I'd be thinking about retiring elsewhere and finding a better community.

[Anonymous]

Thank you for the feedback. I feel confident in my next steps.


Jeff can you please delete this now.

[Anonymous]

The people on this thread excusing the pedophile because he has “mental illness” are revolting. It is the most horrifying crime and yet people refuse to call it out, expose it, and take a stand against anyone associated with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please be there for your friend. She has lost her job, her son, her support. She is stuck in the house with a bad husband, a perverted son and a lot of shame. She didn’t do it and I doubt she knew about it. I actually suspect - based on your description of the change in this young man - that he is probably mentally I’ll and that’s why the parents had let him live with them. There are a lot of mental illnesses that show up in young adulthood. Of course, that doesn’t excuse the CP, but it may help explain why they were supporting him.

+1,000,000

I understand, OP, why you have issues with the fact that your friend bailed out her son--I would as well--but as long as she didn't attempt to persuade me of his innocence in the face of overwhelming evidence, I'd do what good friends do and support her in ways that didn't jeopardize my own career. That said, the fact that you think you could put your own career at risk just by being a good friend says nothing good about the
community in which you live, and I'd be thinking about retiring elsewhere and finding a better community.

I agree with this. As a mother, it would be very difficult to come to terms with your child doing something like this. Even if you know he’s guilty (and I suspect she’s trying to convince herself he’s not), I can’t imagine ever just giving up on your child. Your friend looks at her son and sees him as the sweet baby and child and good, achieving high schooler and wants to believe he’s redeemable. I understand that.

I honestly think something like would be a worse than losing your child. At least with death, you’re left with happy memories of your precious child and have everyone’s support and sympathy.

[Anonymous]

What I find interesting is she didn’t get an attorney and the union to protect her job. (Maybe) but you said they forced her to retire. I’d have made that school district pay a very nice early retirement fee and make sure my retirement was lock solid if they were demanding it early.

One would think she would have said wait my career and income and made sure the kid was not back in her home until she had those things locked in.

Let them fire her. Unemployment, wrongful termination, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please be there for your friend. She has lost her job, her son, her support. She is stuck in the house with a bad husband, a perverted son and a lot of shame. She didn’t do it and I doubt she knew about it. I actually suspect - based on your description of the change in this young man - that he is probably mentally I’ll and that’s why the parents had let him live with them. There are a lot of mental illnesses that show up in young adulthood. Of course, that doesn’t excuse the CP, but it may help explain why they were supporting him.

+1,000,000

I understand, OP, why you have issues with the fact that your friend bailed out her son--I would as well--but as long as she didn't attempt to persuade me of his innocence in the face of overwhelming evidence, I'd do what good friends do and support her in ways that didn't jeopardize my own career. That said, the fact that you think you could put your own career at risk just by being a good friend says nothing good about the community in which you live, and I'd be thinking about retiring elsewhere and finding a better community.

She isn’t stuck anywhere. She’s choosing to stay with two grown men who make awful choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would bail my child out of jail no matter what she did. Particularly if she’s been suffering from mental illness for years and somewhere in my heart I suspect her dad or someone else might have sexually abused her (which could be what OP’s friend is thinking).

I think it’s shitty to cut off this friend because of something horrible her child did. I do understand the practical fears about your job. But do you really think you’re going to get fired in the next 2 years because people will think you abuse kids because you took casseroles to her? If so, I would tell her that. Call her and say, “I am very sorry you’re struggling right now. You’re in my thoughts constantly. I believe there would be professional repercussions for me if I associate with you right now. I can imagine that’s painful, and I know you need support right now. I’m sorry I can’t be there for you at this difficult time.”

Why does she need casseroles? There’s NOTHING wrong with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This woman literally paid for the wifi connection and computers used to commit the crime, since the son didn't have a job. Anything outside of sending him back to jail is enabling the crime.

This and she’ll be lucky if rest of family is not also implicated. I’d not bail my child out. I would see if there were ways to provide therapy and secure a therapist for myself. Sadly I don’t think you can truly rehabilitate a pedophile. They have rewired there brain to horrific stimuli, and should be monitored for life.

I’d struggle with this friendship if she was trying to keep him out of jail.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What I find interesting is she didn’t get an attorney and the union to protect her job. (Maybe) but you said they forced her to retire. I’d have made that school district pay a very nice early retirement fee and make sure my retirement was lock solid if they were demanding it early.

One would think she would have said wait my career and income and made sure the kid was not back in her home until she had those things locked in.

Let them fire her. Unemployment, wrongful termination, etc.

It would be upsetting for her community. The compassionate thing to do is retire.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you for the feedback. I feel confident in my next steps.


Jeff can you please delete this now.

If you think Jeff is reading this, you’re sorely mistaken. If you are OP and want this removed, hit the “report” in the bottom corner and ask him directly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The people on this thread excusing the pedophile because he has “mental illness” are revolting. It is the most horrifying crime and yet people refuse to call it out, expose it, and take a stand against anyone associated with it.

No one is excusing him. We're excusing her for letting a grown son live at home without a job for a couple of years, potentially because of mental illness, with the assumption she was completely ignorant of the CP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are providing way too much identifying information about a situation that doesn't even involve you. Despite the crime possibly committed these people deserve confidentiality. From what you have provided most people could easily figure out who they are, at least anyone who happens to know them could.

DP. Really? I have absolutely no clue. Stop trying to restrict anonymous postings in a forum that has a diverse and nationwide audience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please be there for your friend. She has lost her job, her son, her support. She is stuck in the house with a bad husband, a perverted son and a lot of shame. She didn’t do it and I doubt she knew about it. I actually suspect - based on your description of the change in this young man - that he is probably mentally I’ll and that’s why the parents had let him live with them. There are a lot of mental illnesses that show up in young adulthood. Of course, that doesn’t excuse the CP, but it may help explain why they were supporting him.

+1,000,000

I understand, OP, why you have issues with the fact that your friend bailed out her son--I would as well--but as long as she didn't attempt to persuade me of his innocence in the face of overwhelming evidence, I'd do what good friends do and support her in ways that didn't jeopardize my own career. That said, the fact that you think you could put your own career at risk just by being a good friend says nothing good about the community in which you live, and I'd be thinking about retiring elsewhere and finding a better community.

+2. You should know your 40+ year best friend wouldn’t have condoned this if she knew about it. At the very least, you should be there to talk and text with her through this terrible time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why on earth would you provide so many details? You are a horrible friend. I hope someone finds her—should be easy given the details you’ve shared—and sends her a link to this.

Seriously OP.
YOU SUCK.

I'm going to ask to have this post deleted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why on earth would you provide so many details? You are a horrible friend. I hope someone finds her—should be easy given the details you’ve shared—and sends her a link to this.

Seriously OP.
YOU SUCK.

I'm going to ask to have this post deleted.

DCUM drama queens have been triggered again.