I hate having friends’ kids over

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have kids, OP?

I do. My kid is older and well behaved.

Older than 12? There’s your sitter!

I don’t really want to hire a babysitter for guests.

Then don’t. In that case, your options are:

1) Don’t invite them over.
2) Invite them over, but explicitly ask the parents to watch their kids because they are out of control.
3) Invite them over, but be prepared to supervise the kids yourself (or you and DH if DH agrees to do so).

Those are your choices. Whining on the internet about something you keep doing over and over is not a choice, because you have control over whether you invite them or not, etc. Make your pick from the list above and then shut up.

Clearly OP's friends are entitled bores, and are chiming in here. Thank you for outing yourself.

OP, your friends know you are too nice, and they are clearly taking advantage. They are users, and they know a target when they see one.

Better to learn this early!

There was a PP who assumed you were "rich" OP - intriguing how these people think, and how they presume to know anyone's financial situation - says so much about their entitlement.

Again, better learn this early - there are some beauties out there.

Oh, you tried so hard! I have two extremely well-behaved daughters, and we actively parent our children. We do most of the hosting in our group, but when we are guests, our children are unfailingly polite and are often complimented.

But I think it’s pointless and tiresome for OP to complain about a repeated dynamic that is 100% in her control. Tell me—do tell—what is the solution beyond what I’ve pointed out above? Or are you really so defensive that you can’t point out an alternate solution. I’d love to hear it, truly.

Whoa. Struck a. nerve!

Got it: you have no other solution to offer. If you did, you’d have posted it. So you are one of those do-the-same-things-and-complain types. How dreadful!

Okay?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have kids, OP?

I do. My kid is older and well behaved.

Older than 12? There’s your sitter!

I don’t really want to hire a babysitter for guests.

Then don’t. In that case, your options are:

1) Don’t invite them over.
2) Invite them over, but explicitly ask the parents to watch their kids because they are out of control.
3) Invite them over, but be prepared to supervise the kids yourself (or you and DH if DH agrees to do so).

Those are your choices. Whining on the internet about something you keep doing over and over is not a choice, because you have control over whether you invite them or not, etc. Make your pick from the list above and then shut up.

Clearly OP's friends are entitled bores, and are chiming in here. Thank you for outing yourself.

OP, your friends know you are too nice, and they are clearly taking advantage. They are users, and they know a target when they see one.

Better to learn this early!

There was a PP who assumed you were "rich" OP - intriguing how these people think, and how they presume to know anyone's financial situation - says so much about their entitlement.

Again, better learn this early - there are some beauties out there.

Oh, you tried so hard! I have two extremely well-behaved daughters, and we actively parent our children. We do most of the hosting in our group, but when we are guests, our children are unfailingly polite and are often complimented.

But I think it’s pointless and tiresome for OP to complain about a repeated dynamic that is 100% in her control. Tell me—do tell—what is the solution beyond what I’ve pointed out above? Or are you really so defensive that you can’t point out an alternate solution. I’d love to hear it, truly.

Whoa. Struck a. nerve!

Got it: you have no other solution to offer. If you did, you’d have posted it. So you are one of those do-the-same-things-and-complain types. How dreadful!

Okay?

OK!

[Anonymous]

Consider your friend was trying to see you, but he hypervigilant and distracted from the adult conversation. If you have older kids offer the mom the kindness of them supervising a movie in another part of the house for a bit. Then spend time all together. It’s an occasional ask and I’d gladly pay to have the uninterrupted time with my friend. It shouldn’t be every visit, but some. I’d also offer to come over after bedtime or during a quieter part of their routine.

[Anonymous]

OP here.

I’ve also noticed it’s American kids who act like this.

We have friends from India, New Zealand, China, South America and their manners are AMAZING. They are always very polite and never act like this.

Why???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

I’ve also noticed it’s American kids who act like this.

We have friends from India, New Zealand, China, South America and their manners are AMAZING. They are always very polite and never act like this.

Why???

A better question is: Why do you continue doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result? Sounds like you might need some therapy to get to the bottom of that. You keep inviting them and getting angry, changing nothing, and then inviting and getting angry again. Hmm, a therapist will have a field day trying to work through what satisfaction or pleasure you get from this repeated, negative dynamic that you and only you have control over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Consider your friend was trying to see you, but he hypervigilant and distracted from the adult conversation. If you have older kids offer the mom the kindness of them supervising a movie in another part of the house for a bit. Then spend time all together. It’s an occasional ask and I’d gladly pay to have the uninterrupted time with my friend. It shouldn’t be every visit, but some. I’d also offer to come over after bedtime or during a quieter part of their routine.

“The mom”? Why are you only focused on “the mom” when OP and her husband are inviting a COUPLE over—you know, two parents? Why would this fall only on “the mom”?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Consider your friend was trying to see you, but he hypervigilant and distracted from the adult conversation. If you have older kids offer the mom the kindness of them supervising a movie in another part of the house for a bit. Then spend time all together. It’s an occasional ask and I’d gladly pay to have the uninterrupted time with my friend. It shouldn’t be every visit, but some. I’d also offer to come over after bedtime or during a quieter part of their routine.

“The mom”? Why are you only focused on “the mom” when OP and her husband are inviting a COUPLE over—you know, two parents? Why would this fall only on “the mom”?

I skimmed it. Same thing though. Host all of your guests well, make the kids feel welcome not an afterthought.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

I’ve also noticed it’s American kids who act like this.

We have friends from India, New Zealand, China, South America and their manners are AMAZING. They are always very polite and never act like this.

Why???

I know exactly what you’re talking about and I still think you sound insufferable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you set them up for failure? Are there things that they can play with - something for a large age range (legos, magnatiles, wherever).

Just out on a movie (made for all ages like Minions, Encanto, whatever) works too.

+1 Did you do anything to prepare for 5 kids under the age of 12, or were you really expecting them all to sit and quietly read a book the whole time?

I told them to bring their own toys because we have very few left. We have a box of legos, board games, and TV with all movies under the sun.
One kid broke all DC’s architectural legos that were constructed.

You tried, OP. There is just no winning with some people. Are they the entitled type?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Consider your friend was trying to see you, but he hypervigilant and distracted from the adult conversation. If you have older kids offer the mom the kindness of them supervising a movie in another part of the house for a bit. Then spend time all together. It’s an occasional ask and I’d gladly pay to have the uninterrupted time with my friend. It shouldn’t be every visit, but some. I’d also offer to come over after bedtime or during a quieter part of their routine.

“The mom”? Why are you only focused on “the mom” when OP and her husband are inviting a COUPLE over—you know, two parents? Why would this fall only on “the mom”?

Because it was (wait for it) an EXAMPLE.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

I’ve also noticed it’s American kids who act like this.

We have friends from India, New Zealand, China, South America and their manners are AMAZING. They are always very polite and never act like this.

Why???

A better question is: Why do you continue doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result? Sounds like you might need some therapy to get to the bottom of that. You keep inviting them and getting angry, changing nothing, and then inviting and getting angry again. Hmm, a therapist will have a field day trying to work through what satisfaction or pleasure you get from this repeated, negative dynamic that you and only you have control over.

Why the big reaction?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have kids, OP?

I do. My kid is older and well behaved.

Older than 12? There’s your sitter!

I don’t really want to hire a babysitter for guests.

Then don’t. In that case, your options are:

1) Don’t invite them over.
2) Invite them over, but explicitly ask the parents to watch their kids because they are out of control.
3) Invite them over, but be prepared to supervise the kids yourself (or you and DH if DH agrees to do so).

Those are your choices. Whining on the internet about something you keep doing over and over is not a choice, because you have control over whether you invite them or not, etc. Make your pick from the list above and then shut up.

Clearly OP's friends are entitled bores, and are chiming in here. Thank you for outing yourself.

OP, your friends know you are too nice, and they are clearly taking advantage. They are users, and they know a target when they see one.

Better to learn this early!

There was a PP who assumed you were "rich" OP - intriguing how these people think, and how they presume to know anyone's financial situation - says so much about their entitlement.

Again, better learn this early - there are some beauties out there.

Oh, you tried so hard! I have two extremely well-behaved daughters, and we actively parent our children. We do most of the hosting in our group, but when we are guests, our children are unfailingly polite and are often complimented.

But I think it’s pointless and tiresome for OP to complain about a repeated dynamic that is 100% in her control. Tell me—do tell—what is the solution beyond what I’ve pointed out above? Or are you really so defensive that you can’t point out an alternate solution. I’d love to hear it, truly.

Whoa. Struck a. nerve!

Got it: you have no other solution to offer. If you did, you’d have posted it. So you are one of those do-the-same-things-and-complain types. How dreadful!

Okay?

OK!

I did post a solution - which is to not have people like you over. Done and done.

[Anonymous]

Your house, your rules. They don’t listen call their parents to pick them up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Consider your friend was trying to see you, but he hypervigilant and distracted from the adult conversation. If you have older kids offer the mom the kindness of them supervising a movie in another part of the house for a bit. Then spend time all together. It’s an occasional ask and I’d gladly pay to have the uninterrupted time with my friend. It shouldn’t be every visit, but some. I’d also offer to come over after bedtime or during a quieter part of their routine.

“The mom”? Why are you only focused on “the mom” when OP and her husband are inviting a COUPLE over—you know, two parents? Why would this fall only on “the mom”?

Because it was (wait for it) an EXAMPLE.

Also they (op) never mentioned a second parent…way to get offended over nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you set them up for failure? Are there things that they can play with - something for a large age range (legos, magnatiles, wherever).

Just out on a movie (made for all ages like Minions, Encanto, whatever) works too.

+1 Did you do anything to prepare for 5 kids under the age of 12, or were you really expecting them all to sit and quietly read a book the whole time?

I told them to bring their own toys because we have very few left. We have a box of legos, board games, and TV with all movies under the sun.
One kid broke all DC’s architectural legos that were constructed.

You tried, OP. There is just no winning with some people. Are they the entitled type?

No. They are kids who don’t want to act like furniture.