Do you feel comfortable approaching your parents for help with large expenses?

[Anonymous]

I never received money from my parents as an adult, nor would I ever ask (unless it were life or death). I believe that adults should take care of themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I never received money from my parents as an adult, nor would I ever ask (unless it were life or death). I believe that adults should take care of themselves.

+1

I don't relate to grown adults who accept money from their elderly parents. If you can't afford your fancy wedding, your house, your addition, your car, private school, whatever - you have to make different choices. No one is entitled to anything. Period. That is precisely what being an adult is. No one has to take a hit for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean any lump sum over $5,000 or monthly allotment nearing such.

For weddings, maybe childcare expenses, unplanned for home repairs, medical deductibles. Is it something you've gone to them before?

People ask for this? Learn to love within your means people!

[Anonymous]

Um. No. I’m an adult. Why would I ask my parents for anything?

[Anonymous]

I never ask but my parents did give me a good amount of $ for a down payment for my house. Other than that, they occasionally send $ for my kids to do an activity or camp.

[Anonymous]

Huh? No. I’m a grown up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents paid for our wedding, gave us money for 2 down payments and help pay some of my kids' private school tuition every year. They also have set up significant 529 for my kids. I would not approach them for large purchases but mostly because we can afford our own expenses. They would gladly help us more but I would feel awkward asking. My ILs have not given us any help despite having the means.

Don’t you feel pathetic accepting that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean any lump sum over $5,000 or monthly allotment nearing such.

For weddings, maybe childcare expenses, unplanned for home repairs, medical deductibles. Is it something you've gone to them before?

No. Never. They raised you, that’s enough. It’s your turn to do things for them not to hit them for more. How sad!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean any lump sum over $5,000 or monthly allotment nearing such.

For weddings, maybe childcare expenses, unplanned for home repairs, medical deductibles. Is it something you've gone to them before?

For wedding? Go to city court. Why would you spend money on a wedding if you don’t have it?

[Anonymous]

We asked for a loan to help us with the downpayment on our condo. DH drew up a promissary note with 5% interest (still a savings from what the bank would have charged) and monthly installments. We paid it off on time and everyone was happy.

[Anonymous]

Yes, but the help comes from a trust. They control it but I’m also a beneficiary.

They do pay tuition directly because it’s exempt from gift tax. I guess you can thank the private schools/universities for lobbying for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never received money from my parents as an adult, nor would I ever ask (unless it were life or death). I believe that adults should take care of themselves.

+1

I don't relate to grown adults who accept money from their elderly parents. If you can't afford your fancy wedding, your house, your addition, your car, private school, whatever - you have to make different choices. No one is entitled to anything. Period. That is precisely what being an adult is. No one has to take a hit for you.

I appreciate this, but do so with the recognition that you don’t understand how the wealthy estate plan. My parents have an estate of about $35M. They take advantage of lifetime gifting allowances and trusts/insurance etc for what is a descendent trust. I’ve never asked for money, but receive it anyway. It’s okay if you don’t relate to me as I don’t relate to your judgment of this either.

[Anonymous]

The one time I mentioned money to my parents, I was 21 and facing big (for me) expenses of moving to a new apartment - double rent for one month plus a security deposit, at the same time my first student loan payment was coming due.

I could have covered with but I would have been left with no money; I did not ask, but my mom sent me $1,000. I was shocked and tried to return it. They later covered one month of rent when I finished grad school and was job searching, as a graaduation present.

Those were very significant gifts for them, and I was (am) extremely grateful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never received money from my parents as an adult, nor would I ever ask (unless it were life or death). I believe that adults should take care of themselves.

+1

I don't relate to grown adults who accept money from their elderly parents. If you can't afford your fancy wedding, your house, your addition, your car, private school, whatever - you have to make different choices. No one is entitled to anything. Period. That is precisely what being an adult is. No one has to take a hit for you.

I appreciate this, but do so with the recognition that you don’t understand how the wealthy estate plan. My parents have an estate of about $35M. They take advantage of lifetime gifting allowances and trusts/insurance etc for what is a descendent trust. I’ve never asked for money, but receive it anyway. It’s okay if you don’t relate to me as I don’t relate to your judgment of this either.

It must be so hard to be judged. Condolences.

[Anonymous]

Lol no. My parents don’t have that kind of money.