husband and daughter missing christening due to sports

[Anonymous]

Having been an All State athlete, I competed in several meets and tournaments without my parents since Middle School. Your son should absolutely go with someone else. The fact your husband insists on being there makes me think he doesn’t want to be part of this big family celebration. There’s no reason for him not to go unless he just doesn’t want to which isn’t fair to everyone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:U14? This tournament is not important at that age. By u15 or u16 u 17, no one will know or care or ever think about that tournament. The christening is more important.

Go back and read. The kid is 15 so this can’t be a U14 tournament.

The OP said the kid was u14. But u15..same.... they can skip it at that age without a care in the world. Players strong enough to get recruited at u15 will be fine. The others are not getting recruited at that age regardless

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was a kid, I missed my great-grandmother's 100th birthday for a sports tournament. I don't know why my mother let me do that at 16. Decades later, I was looking at the video and photos with family. I wished that I had been at the birthday party and spent that important milestone with family. As you may have guessed, the tournament has yielded zero levels of importance in my life.

Skip the tournament. No one will care or notice, and there will be thousands more just like it in the life of a travel sports family

My relative missed a grandparent's funeral due to a middle school academic competition out of state (they didn't even tell the child about the death until it was over). Only grandchild out of 23 who was not there. It remains a bit of a sore spot for that individual 50 years later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was a kid, I missed my great-grandmother's 100th birthday for a sports tournament. I don't know why my mother let me do that at 16. Decades later, I was looking at the video and photos with family. I wished that I had been at the birthday party and spent that important milestone with family. As you may have guessed, the tournament has yielded zero levels of importance in my life.

Skip the tournament. No one will care or notice, and there will be thousands more just like it in the life of a travel sports family

My relative missed a grandparent's funeral due to a middle school academic competition out of state (they didn't even tell the child about the death until it was over). Only grandchild out of 23 who was not there. It remains a bit of a sore spot for that individual 50 years later.

I would have had my kid miss it too. The relative had already passed, going to the funeral doesn't change that. Be there for the important people in your lives while they are still living, not after they are dead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here to clarify.
Subject line should say son. I also have a daughter but she is going to baptism. Baptism was scheduled months ago so my parents can purchase flights. Plus, baptisms are a big deal in my culture and it is traditional to host a luncheon afterwards so we had to book restaurant and send invitations. This was all scheduled well before we knew about tournament.
Son is 15. Husband is of the same faith as me and his entire family will be there.

You had to have known the tournament was a possibility and that there was a chance your husband and son would not be available. You played the odds and lost. I get the logistics - I have a kid in travel sports and I had baptisms for all of my kids. But you prioritized your baby and parents over your son and husband and now are upset that they called you on it. And clearly when you realized there was a conflict instead of looking into the possibility of changing the dates, you dug in your heels decided to continue prioritizing baby and parents.

I would be upset to miss my baby’s baptism. But I’m not so sure I’d make a different choice. Either way I’m going to have to pick which kid to support.

And even a few weeks out you can still change it. Your parents can change their arrangements and you can move the date.

OP here. The son we are baptizing is also my husband's son and just as important. He was involved with choosing the date. The fact that you are making this all about me is just plain weird.
Also, all kids are biological kids.
No way to change the date this late in the game. Read my earlier comment. Church reserved and booked solid. Restaurant reserved. Guests are attending. Flights booked.

Your husband and son's priorities are so wildly off that it's hard not to believe you arent a troll. Of course, the entire family attends the baby's baptism. And I say this as a non-Christian, non-religious person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:U14? This tournament is not important at that age. By u15 or u16 u 17, no one will know or care or ever think about that tournament. The christening is more important.

Go back and read. The kid is 15 so this can’t be a U14 tournament.

The OP said the kid was u14. But u15..same.... they can skip it at that age without a care in the world. Players strong enough to get recruited at u15 will be fine. The others are not getting recruited at that age regardless

No, someone else posted about their own son who is U14. OP said her son is 15, which means he’s most likely playing U16 (but could be U15 if he just turned 15).

[Anonymous]

We don’t know OP’s family dynamics or their priorities . If literally their entire lives revolve around the one kid’s sports schedule then the husband and son might not think this is weird though others might.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Travel sports are a blight on our society.

I agree. It's such nonsense. Truly nobody cares if he misses a game. He is 7 years old. The dad has his priorities wrong.

Did OP say he was 7?

[Anonymous]

Get your clergyperson to lay a heavy guilt trip on your husband. Is it even a proper baptism if both parents aren't there to witness and participate?

[Anonymous]

I am speechless. This would be like missing my kid's wedding...for a youth sports game. My DH would not be allowed to miss this. That's a red line.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:U14? This tournament is not important at that age. By u15 or u16 u 17, no one will know or care or ever think about that tournament. The christening is more important.

Go back and read. The kid is 15 so this can’t be a U14 tournament.

The OP said the kid was u14. But u15..same.... they can skip it at that age without a care in the world. Players strong enough to get recruited at u15 will be fine. The others are not getting recruited at that age regardless

No, someone else posted about their own son who is U14. OP said her son is 15, which means he’s most likely playing U16 (but could be U15 if he just turned 15).

Ub16 is fine to miss an event. Again...kids recruited at u16 are standouts and are going to get recruited even if they miss that event so relax. Kids that are not talented enough to get recruited at u16, don't have to worry about missing the event.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get your clergyperson to lay a heavy guilt trip on your husband. Is it even a proper baptism if both parents aren't there to witness and participate?

No! The parents are a crucial part of the service! I can't imagine being a godparent and the DAD not bothering to show up!

[Anonymous]

Doesn't the church require the parents to present the child? How is that going to work?

Who would miss his own child's christening over a freaking soccer game???? The second child is going to need therapy over this one.

[Anonymous]

What is the reason your husband is giving for not just sending your 15 year old to the tournament with another family while he stays to attend his child's baptism?

[Anonymous]

Since he’s 15, your son can and should go with another family to the tournament. Your DH is absolutely wrong here. He can miss one day.