husband and daughter missing christening due to sports

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Protestant or Catholic, it's a once in a lifetime event, and it definitely takes priority over a single sporting event for a young kid.

Ususally, but apparently not to OP's husband.

Maybe he doesn’t care about the religion? I posted a whole back and no one responded. He could have agreed to a date to keep peace with his wife but doesn’t see the need to make their teen son skip something when no one actually practices this religion and they are only going through the motions. I just made up a story but it’s possible.

I wondered about that, especially since it’s her parents. This might be very important to her parents and her side of the family, but not so much to him.

I wondered about that, too.

[Anonymous]

Well, my priest baptized DD without DH there. We waited for DH to be able to attend and she was almost a year old. He was working in Africa and somehow it just wasn't working out. She and I were there too but could travel more than he could. Eventually, we said better have her christened than wait longer.
Logistics of travel were a nightmare for DH as flights were not great, and his two bosses kept being arseholes...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Protestant or Catholic, it's a once in a lifetime event, and it definitely takes priority over a single sporting event for a young kid.

Ususally, but apparently not to OP's husband.

Maybe he doesn’t care about the religion? I posted a whole back and no one responded. He could have agreed to a date to keep peace with his wife but doesn’t see the need to make their teen son skip something when no one actually practices this religion and they are only going through the motions. I just made up a story but it’s possible.

I wondered about that, especially since it’s her parents. This might be very important to her parents and her side of the family, but not so much to him.

OP has already posted that he agreed to this, picked the date, and that his family would be in attendance as well.

[Anonymous]

Team OP. DH is being ridiculous. There is literally zero question about what he should do. He gets to watch his kid play sports all the time. Missing a tournament is NOT that big of deal. Sports son should talk with his coach - likely not a big deal for him to not be there but I would be okay letting him make the call and supporting his decision.

[Anonymous]

Team DH and son. Futbol is life!

[Anonymous]

Is the 15-year old your stepson?

How do you have a 15-year old and an infant? Is this part of the problem too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is the 15-year old your stepson?

How do you have a 15-year old and an infant? Is this part of the problem too?

I was trying to figure that out, too. Or is this baby a surprise baby that DH is not thrilled about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is the 15-year old your stepson?

How do you have a 15-year old and an infant? Is this part of the problem too?

I was trying to figure that out, too. Or is this baby a surprise baby that DH is not thrilled about?

OP answered both questions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Weird that it's a daughter in the subject and a son in the post.

Good catch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are baptizing our young son in a few weeks. My older son has an important soccer tournament that weekend and my husband will be taking him. They will both miss the baptism. we are unable to reschedule since my parents are flying in from another country. They are furious that the father will miss this important milestone.
They asked if someone else can take my son to play and although that is logistically possible, my husband declined. He is very invested in my son's soccer. My parents aren't thrilled that my other son is missing this either.
I am annoyed too but nothing I say will change anything so I don't bother trying to convince him.
My questions are: is it that bad that they are missing this?
How do I get my parents to back off?

I don't understand. This is a simple matter of family priorities and scheduling.

Neither my spouse nor my infant's sibling would miss the baptism, period. Bad planning here. Really bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Protestant or Catholic, it's a once in a lifetime event, and it definitely takes priority over a single sporting event for a young kid.

Ususally, but apparently not to OP's husband.

Maybe he doesn’t care about the religion? I posted a whole back and no one responded. He could have agreed to a date to keep peace with his wife but doesn’t see the need to make their teen son skip something when no one actually practices this religion and they are only going through the motions. I just made up a story but it’s possible.

I wondered about that, especially since it’s her parents. This might be very important to her parents and her side of the family, but not so much to him.

OP has already posted that he agreed to this, picked the date, and that his family would be in attendance as well.

I saw that but thinking about my extended family, my parents and sister and extremely religious and so is my MIL. DH and I are not. We thought about baptizing the kids when they were little to ultimately keep the peace and make the family happy and we realized how crazy that was. We still are hearing about it and our kids are teenagers. Not everyone can stand up to their families and do what they actually want. Just because he helped picked the date doesn’t mean he cares.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Protestant or Catholic, it's a once in a lifetime event, and it definitely takes priority over a single sporting event for a young kid.

Ususally, but apparently not to OP's husband.

Maybe he doesn’t care about the religion? I posted a whole back and no one responded. He could have agreed to a date to keep peace with his wife but doesn’t see the need to make their teen son skip something when no one actually practices this religion and they are only going through the motions. I just made up a story but it’s possible.

I wondered about that, especially since it’s her parents. This might be very important to her parents and her side of the family, but not so much to him.

OP has already posted that he agreed to this, picked the date, and that his family would be in attendance as well.

I saw that but thinking about my extended family, my parents and sister and extremely religious and so is my MIL. DH and I are not. We thought about baptizing the kids when they were little to ultimately keep the peace and make the family happy and we realized how crazy that was. We still are hearing about it and our kids are teenagers. Not everyone can stand up to their families and do what they actually want. Just because he helped picked the date doesn’t mean he cares.

The thread isn’t about you. OP said he is supportive of the baptism. Why not take her at her word instead of using your own situation as a response?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is the 15-year old your stepson?

How do you have a 15-year old and an infant? Is this part of the problem too?

What? Most women have more than 15 years of fertility. It's very possible to have a 15 year old and an infant--and OP even has at least one child in between. My mom was 17 when her youngest sibling was born (yes--both the same parents.)
HER mom (my grandmother) was 18 when her youngest sibling was born (so my mom's uncle was only 6 years older than her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Team OP. DH is being ridiculous. There is literally zero question about what he should do. He gets to watch his kid play sports all the time. Missing a tournament is NOT that big of deal. Sports son should talk with his coach - likely not a big deal for him to not be there but I would be okay letting him make the call and supporting his decision.

+1. I don’t even undergo it’s an issue for DH. I would wonder what’s going on that he finds going to a soccer game more important than attending this event. There’s something that he’s not telling you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is the 15-year old your stepson?

How do you have a 15-year old and an infant? Is this part of the problem too?

What? Most women have more than 15 years of fertility. It's very possible to have a 15 year old and an infant--and OP even has at least one child in between. My mom was 17 when her youngest sibling was born (yes--both the same parents.)
HER mom (my grandmother) was 18 when her youngest sibling was born (so my mom's uncle was only 6 years older than her.

Of course it's possible, but most people don't plan to have children with that large of an age gap. If the baby was an "oops" and DH was against having another child that would explain the refusal to go to the baptism. I'm the PP that asked a series of questions of possible reasons DH doesn't want to go, but OP hasn't been back.