How stop the cookie gift

[Anonymous]

If only OP had the mother in law that feels free to help themselves to food treats not addresses to or intended for them.

So often on DCUM I want to connect people to one another, such as the OPs who want someone to help organize their kitchens and closets to the MILs that want to do the organizing, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes I truly wonder who raised some of you. Come on, OP. You don’t tell her not to do it. You graciously accept. You can give them away.

It's not a gift when you impose unhealthy food on people who don't want it and you do it often. It's gross. She has a right to set a limit. If the person insists it tells you how disturbed she is. No need to play pass the crap. The isn't an old lady who is about to die. It's a grown women who is dumping junk. It's presumptuous to assume anyone wants this stuff especially on a regular basis. It's rude and disrespectful. if she did it once a year that would be one thing, but often? this woman doesn't value the health of her friend.

So, we should stop bringing wine to hosts, too?

I know I’m in the minority, but I don’t bring wine or any other alcohol unless it’s a very close friend/family member that I’m 100% positive doesn’t have a drinking problem. I’ve known a lot of alcoholics and I don’t want to unintentionally put an addict in a position where they could relapse.

+1. I came close to sending a gift basket with a bottle of wine to my DD’s coach not realizing her husband had been an alcoholic. Alcoholism had almost destroyed their marriage and ended his life. That would have been a terrible gift. Since then, I only buy gift baskets without alcohol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes I truly wonder who raised some of you. Come on, OP. You don’t tell her not to do it. You graciously accept. You can give them away.

It's not a gift when you impose unhealthy food on people who don't want it and you do it often. It's gross. She has a right to set a limit. If the person insists it tells you how disturbed she is. No need to play pass the crap. The isn't an old lady who is about to die. It's a grown women who is dumping junk. It's presumptuous to assume anyone wants this stuff especially on a regular basis. It's rude and disrespectful. if she did it once a year that would be one thing, but often? this woman doesn't value the health of her friend.

So, we should stop bringing wine to hosts, too?

I know I’m in the minority, but I don’t bring wine or any other alcohol unless it’s a very close friend/family member that I’m 100% positive doesn’t have a drinking problem. I’ve known a lot of alcoholics and I don’t want to unintentionally put an addict in a position where they could relapse.

+1. I came close to sending a gift basket with a bottle of wine to my DD’s coach not realizing her husband had been an alcoholic. Alcoholism had almost destroyed their marriage and ended his life. That would have been a terrible gift. Since then, I only buy gift baskets without alcohol.

*was

[Anonymous]

I fondly remember my great-aunt making her fruitcake rounds to the relatives before Christmas. It actually was pretty good fruitcake but, more importantly, it gave her a chance to visit and catch up with family. Let her bring her cookies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is basic communication. There are ways to diplomatically and gently let someone know that you don’t want to receive some thing that obviously they put a lot of effort into. Making different homemade cookies is a ton of work. If I were your aunt, I would definitely want to know if the cookies were being enjoyed or not. You can simply say to her, we have always appreciated the cookies in the past, but this year you may want to Pass on baking them because the kids don’t eat cookies anymore like they used to, and neither do DH and I.

This is DH’s aunt and the cookies are for him and his household, not just for OP. So guess what? OP doesn’t unilaterally decide to give them away or trash them. She can choose not to stuff them into her face.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes I truly wonder who raised some of you. Come on, OP. You don’t tell her not to do it. You graciously accept. You can give them away.

It's not a gift when you impose unhealthy food on people who don't want it and you do it often. It's gross. She has a right to set a limit. If the person insists it tells you how disturbed she is. No need to play pass the crap. The isn't an old lady who is about to die. It's a grown women who is dumping junk. It's presumptuous to assume anyone wants this stuff especially on a regular basis. It's rude and disrespectful. if she did it once a year that would be one thing, but often? this woman doesn't value the health of her friend.

I’m sorry but this is a ridiculous overreaction and is full of assumptions. How do you know it’s “junk”? You act like she’s shipping crates of Oreos. This woman is probably using meaningful family recipes and doing something she thinks is kind. Why must everything be demonized around here? It’s exhausting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Accept the gift graciously, then give them away.

+1 Give them to neighbors or take them into work. Please don't begrudge her this. She obviously likes doing it.

+2

[Anonymous]

Toss them. At this point, I assume most adults don’t want extra sweets in their home.

[Anonymous]

Accept them graciously and toss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Toss them.

I have the same issue with a friend who is always buying me sweets. Last week she dropped a cake off at my house. It didn't even go inside the house, I threw it in the car and tossed it in the dumpster at work.

Geez, if you were all the way at work, you could have at least offered it to your co-workers. That seems wasteful.

[Anonymous]

I can’t imagine lacking self-control to the point where I’d throw out or give away a gift from my husband’s aunt—a gift that was for him, my kids and not just me.

Just don’t shove cookies in your face. What’s the problem?

[Anonymous]

Why can’t you freeze some for later in the year, or put them in baggies to hand out to homeless people who less picky and ungrateful?

[Anonymous]

She is older and I know it hard to do so much baking
She has a limited income and I know it is costly to buy all the ingredients

You don't get to decide this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If only OP had the mother in law that feels free to help themselves to food treats not addresses to or intended for them.

So often on DCUM I want to connect people to one another, such as the OPs who want someone to help organize their kitchens and closets to the MILs that want to do the organizing, etc.

I hope you have a very blessed Christmas, because you bring much joy to the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can’t imagine lacking self-control to the point where I’d throw out or give away a gift from my husband’s aunt—a gift that was for him, my kids and not just me.

Just don’t shove cookies in your face. What’s the problem?

How lucky for you that you don’t understand. Maybe since you don’t understand, your comments are not helpful.